Work Text:
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find
"I gotta take Karate...That's it..."
"But you took Karate..."
"Not at the Y...a good school..."
"Fighting doesn't solve anything..."
"Oh well neither does palm trees, Ma..."
Daniel rolled over in his bed. He wasn't sleeping well. His dreams were restless. He tossed and turned. It had been the same routine for over a week now. He wasn't eating. Dark shadows had formed under his eyes.
He couldn't seem to shake himself out of his depression. He accepted a lot of things. Moving to California from New Jersey, being poor, trying to be the square peg fitting into the round hole. He couldn't accept this. It constantly gnawed at him. He played the scenes over and over in his mind.
"Just stay the fuck away from me..."
He shrunk further and further into himself. He hated who he was becoming. Nothing held interest for him anymore. He tried to carry on the best he could with his circumstances. He tried to rationalize with himself that this was what could only be the result of what they had. He knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. He knew he didn't have any say in the matter. If he was true to himself, he knew he went willingly and blindly into the abyss and fell head over heels into the inevitable. He was in love. And it was killing him.
To be so happy one minute...to feel the music singing to your soul...to finally find the one person who shared your emotions, your feelings, your you...to be able to explain and reason to yourself things that were mysteries before, no longer clouded but free can leave you feeling invincible ...was one thing. To have the same person rip your heart out and show it to you and leave you shattered where it lie was another. It was all high or all low with Daniel. There was no in-between.
He buried his head underneath his pillow and tried to block the emotions from washing over him in one unending wave of despair. He wasn't going to school again today. His mother checked on him, concerned that he might have the flu. He made up a convincing lie. He didn't want to face the truth.
Ali tried calling him a couple of times during his absence. He talked to her, telling her the same lies that he told his mother. He wasn't feeling well. He would be at school soon. Yes, he would like for her to get his assignments. No, she shouldn't come over to check on him. He wanted to ask her, if she had seen Johnny, if she had noticed a change in him. He knew there was no logical way in doing so, so he kept his questions to himself.
He thought of their time at the beach. The scenes played over and over in his head. Tiny thrills of pleasure caused him to close his eyes to the memories. Hands on him...his mouth...teasing him...making him gasp and experience feelings and sensations he never knew existed. It was then that he knew. He knew what he wanted.
More than one time he actually ran to the toilet down the hall. He barely made it before tossing up the contents of his already empty stomach. Why did it have to hurt so much? He punched the bathroom wall and let out a frustrated cry. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was a wreck.
Something about this time was different. He knew it. He could feel it in his bones. He had no idea what changed. He was even willing to put up with being a secret if it meant that he didn't have to let him go.
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say
He drug himself out of bed the next day. He knew he had to get back to school. He couldn't hide forever. Even Mr. Miyagi was becoming concerned. Daniel usually stopped in to say hi and chat with the older man. He had stopped by to ask Daniel's mom if he was feeling well and she had confided in him that she was concerned about how pale and weak he was becoming. Mr. Miyagi promised to bring her some of his special tea to see if it would help him if he was sick.
'I don't need tea...I need...' Daniel's eyes welled up for the twentieth time since this all started. He grabbed his book bag and made a feeble attempt at getting his bike to ride to school. His mother found him holding onto it, staring off into space.
"Daniel...let me take you to school. You've been sick...you don't need to over exert yourself."
"I'm fine ma...just leave me alone ok?" Everything seemed to irritate him. He knew his mother was only trying to help. He just didn't care anymore.
He put on his shades and rode his bike to school. He just wanted to move through the day unnoticed. If he could get by with his head down, if he didn't have to see anyone, he might be able to make it. It didn't help that the first group of people he saw were the ones he wanted to avoid the most. Something inside his chest grew hard. This was not how he wanted things to go.
"Fuck this shit..." He muttered to himself grabbing his book bag and without a second glance walked past the group, Johnny in the middle.
Johnny looked up to see Daniel shuffling by. His body language said one thing, but his eyes screamed another. He was about to go insane if he didn't see him at school that day. What he saw almost floored him. Daniel looked thinner, if that was possible. He noticed his hunched posture, shoulders bent, arms crossed, head down. Dutch nudged him. He had been speaking but Johnny didn't hear a word. He turned his head back to the group and grabbed his things. They were about to be late for class.
Ali looked up from her desk and she immediately got up when Daniel walked into class.
"My god...Daniel...are you ok?" She helped him to his seat as the rest of the class filed in.
"Yeah...I'm fine...I just feel like I got hit by a truck, that's all." He said, trying to make it sound like a joke. He removed his shades. Ali noticed the dark circles and she felt his forehead.
"I'm fine...really..." He said pushing her hand aside. His skin was itching, it hurt to be touched.
Johnny entered the classroom at that moment, seeing Ali and Daniel together huddled over his desk. He bit his lip, biting back the anger that seemed to immediately intensify whenever he saw the pair together. He sought out Daniel's eyes. At that moment Daniel glanced up and locked eyes with his own. Johnny saw the worlds of hurt trapped behind them, so intense he had to quickly look away. 'What have I done?'
Daniel remained quiet throughout the class. He didn't raise his hand to answer questions and kept his head down, not really focused on anything. Ali moved to an empty desk in front of him and kept checking on him as the class went on.
The next time Johnny saw Daniel was at lunch time. He watched as he had gotten his tray and went to sit by himself in the corner of the room. He thought it was the right opportunity to approach him. He knew he was probably the last person in the world he wanted to see right now, but he had to find out if Daniel was ok. He made sure that the other Cobras were far enough away and made an excuse to go to the bathroom. He went to Daniel's table and flipped a chair around sitting backwards on it. He looked at Daniel's bent head as he picked at the food on his plate. He hadn't noticed Johnny's presence until he cleared his throat.
"Hey..."
Distress warred on Daniel's face. He started breathing faster. He was on lack of sleep and lack of food and now lack of rational thought. He was so pissed he had begun to tremble at the realization of Johnny being this close to him. He almost started hyperventilating as he pushed his chair back and stood up.
"Oh...don't even...."
"Daniel..."
"I don't want to hear what you have to say, man...just get out of my face..."
"I..."
"I have nothing to say to you...it's over...we're done...you can't keep doing this to me! You can't keep treating me like your personal punching bag...to make you feel good about yourself and look good in front of those assholes. I know what I want...do you?"
"LaRusso...you don't know what it's like..."
"Don't give me that shit, man...I'm in it...remember? I'm not sorry for what happened between us. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm just sorry you don't have the balls to say it yourself!"
"Hey...fuck you, LaRusso..." Johnny got up and threw his chair away from him. They were starting to cause a scene. He reached out to grab Daniel's arm.
"NO...fuck you, Johnny...I'm over it! Stay away from me. You never were a friend of mine. Why don't you go back over there and forget I even exist. I'm gonna take my own advice and do the same...now if you'll excuse me."
"If that's the way you want it, LaRusso...but just remember...this ain't over..."
Daniel shook his head and left him standing in the middle of the cafeteria. He deposited his uneaten tray of food in the trash and left the building. Johnny left the building in the opposite direction, kicking the door open and heading toward his bike.
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But no one's gonna dance with me
Please stay
Daniel rode his bike down to the beach after school. The sun was starting to set and the wind whipped hard against his body, his checkered shirt flapping behind him. He walked up to the dunes and sat with his arms folded, resting them on his knees. He put his head down, overcome with sadness and began crying. He was too proud to cry in front of anyone...but out here...alone...he could let the unfairness of it all take him over. He had to get past this, move on. He thought about how Johnny made him feel more like shit than feel good...he frowned and thought back to all the times he was afraid. All the times he wished he could defend himself, all the pain inflicted.
He stayed out at the beach until the stars lit up the sky. He would not let Johnny win...not this time...not ever...hatred crept in, seizing his heart and taking over. Plans were formed and a new Daniel LaRusso emerged from the ashes of heartache.
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you