Work Text:
Every time I think of you
I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here
And you're miles away
And I'm wondering why you left…
Actions have consequences. This was a lesson that sorely needed to be drilled into students’ minds. Not only in school, but in the Karate Dojo as well. Hours spent in the presence of a madman seeped poison into veins…made monsters out of men.
Relentless…focused…jealousy driven…revenge and retribution. This is what drove the student forward. No more did he see the gentle innocent smiling face, no longer was he impressed by how large and luminous his brown eyes were, so different from any other eyes he found himself getting lost in. No longer did he seek the acceptance and carefree dismissal of his stubborn behavior and attitude. He had lost all of it.
He had lost a father he had never known.
He had lost his girl through his arrogance.
He had lost his guy through his denial.
He had nothing…nothing but the relentless push to extract all feelings and emotions from his mind and body and to become what they all had made him out to be.
“HAI – KILL”
“HAI – KILL”
“HAI – KILL”
He had one thing left. His teacher. His Sensei. He would be damned if he disappointed the man that gave him discipline through pain. Discipline with no mercy. Discipline to quell the agonizing thoughts that ripped through his brain. The thoughts that would not be quenched with the six packs he put away on a weekly basis. He had given up his notion of being an ex-degenerate only to become something more reprehensible.
Violent and angry he moved through his days. Watching as the people he most wanted to be around slip through is fingers with no hope of ever making peace. He saw them both make wide sweeping circles around him whenever they were in the same vicinity. If they had to share the same room they were on opposite ends. He watched Ali one day as she prepared for the Halloween Dance. She seemed so happy. She blew up balloons and talked with her friends. He got as close as he dared, not wanting to scare her off…not wanting to make the move.
He knew LaRusso was never far behind but took extra precautions in avoiding both Ali and himself. It seemed like the three of them had been scattered to the universe and the cord that had bound them to one another frayed but still sparking.
He gave Daniel his space. He didn’t know what to say or do. He knew he had done enough. The first week after the argument in the cafeteria had been rough. He had tried to approach Daniel several times, always with similar results. They argued and fought. Where Daniel lacked in strength he made up for in volume. He wouldn’t take his phone calls. He wouldn’t let him explain. One night of drunken binging he dialed the number daring Daniel to pick up the phone.
“You bastard…”
“God…Johnny…this is getting sick man…I’m hanging up!”
“Don’t you dare hang up the phone…LaRusso…” He said stumbling over his words.
“You’re drunk…where are you?”
“What…do you care all the sudden?”
“I just want to make sure you’re not gonna drive…I care about the tree you’re gonna wrap yourself around…”
“Fuck you, Larusso…oh wait…I already did…” Laughing at his own joke, Johnny tossed the phone away and passed out. He awoke later to the sound of the busy signal going off.
He had not spoken to Daniel since. He focused all of the hurt and anger that burned in the pit of his stomach toward finding a way to get revenge. It was now Daniel’s fault for making him feel like shit. Daniel’s fault for not letting him get over it. And it was STILL Daniel’s fault for what happened between him and Ali. He saw no other side of the coin. He refused to listen to any rational voice inside of him. That voice was dead.
There's a message in the wild
And I'm sending you this signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight
-----
Johnny touched the side of his face. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was still bruised… red…swollen…How was he bested? By an old man? He was off of his guard. He was focused on bringing pain. He wanted Daniel to feel what he had been going through for weeks. No voice screamed for him to stop, no reasoning that he may have only been trying to reconnect however juvenile it was…soaking him with water…really…and wasting good weed… He barely registered Bobby’s insistence as he told him that he had had enough and that he was going to be seriously hurt. Johnny did not care. He saw red…he wanted blood. He wanted the ache inside to be satisfied. The screaming within him to stop. He was drunk and high and he didn’t feel anything…anymore. One more kick and he knew he would permanently damage every…single…thought, feeling and breath they had shared between them.
“He’s crazy if he thinks he’s even gonna come close to winning…” He said to his reflection. He remembered the look of terror and defiance in Daniel’s eyes as he and the little old man who kicked all of their asses stood in front of the Cobra Kais and threw down the challenge of winning the All Valley Karate Tournament. As soon as the man had said the words, he locked eyes with Daniel. Everything washed away at that moment. His eyes spoke for him.
‘What are you doing?’
Daniel’s eyes spoke back. ‘You left me no choice.’
Outwardly, Johnny was a machine. He welcomed the opportunity to put an end to this crap once and for all. He knew Daniel had no chance in hell against his team. He only wondered what he was trying to prove. He seemed to always be the little worm that wheedled his way into his existence even after he had tried to forget.
Johnny amped up his regimen. He jogged in the morning, before school. He sparred with the other Cobra Kai during gym and recess. They all made a show of it whenever LaRusso was in the vicinity. They often mocked karate moves and raised their hands in defense when he had to walk by.
He noticed that apparently Daniel and Ali “made up” after the dance. They seemed to be inseparable. It no longer mattered to Johnny…he felt a void where any emotion should be toward the two of them and remained determined to shove them out of his life by inflicting more pain. He saw only Daniel’s face as he punched through the training dummy, with the mindset the guy he wanted to hit was on the other side.
Time and again, Daniel seemed to be having fun at his expense. Something had changed within him. He strutted around in the open more, head held high and much more attitude. He flaunted the fact that they weren’t allowed to touch him until the tournament. He grit his teeth when he proved to Ali that they could no longer touch a hair on his pretty little head and the stunt with him and their history teacher almost pushed Johnny over the line.
In your world I have no meaning
Though I'm trying hard to understand
-----
He waited patiently at the table. He didn’t look half bad if he did say so himself. Sports coat and tie. He spent an hour on his hair. He felt like he almost belonged there. Like he was happy about being the fly in the ointment. He felt a surge of excitement that he had been missing as of late. He picked around at his veal piccata and watched as Ali got up to dance with her father. ‘One of the privileges of being rich…’ He decided smiling as he took a sip of water. He had decided to take this situation up a notch. If Daniel wanted to play…he could play…and he didn’t even need to lay a finger on him.
He had overheard the two of them talking on the soccer field that day. They were busy kicking around a soccer ball practically in the middle of his group and Daniel had smirked in his direction. He was beginning to loathe that face. He was forming a plan to get even, even though he knew it was as petty as LaRusso’s attempts to egg him on. He was in earshot as they had made another date for Golf-n-Stuff and decided he would “tag along”. Two could play at this game.
“I have to have dinner with my parents at their country club, but I’ll be finished by 9:30…you can meet me outside.”
He watched her walk away and smiled in her direction “Hi, Ali.”
“Hi, Ali…” She mocked back.
He turned to look at Daniel who was following her with his eyes but had casually slid them over to look at Johnny. He shrugged his shoulders and smirked again…but there was no insult behind his eyes that time. Johnny returned to his game and Daniel watched for a moment longer before walking off of the field.
Now Ali was in his arms. It had been a long time since he had touched her. He smelled her hair. She smelled like gardenias and fresh linen. She wasn’t looking at him but at her father. She was livid. She hated the fact that her parents knew his parents and that they were this close.
“Listen…I’ve been thinking…maybe we can call a truce.”
“I’m not at war…excuse me.” She tried to break away from his grasp, but Johnny held her tighter.
“Can we finish the dance?”
“I don’t know what your angle is Johnny…but you know I’m with Daniel. Why can’t you accept that?”
“Hey look…I get it…I know I screwed up. I’ve been trying really hard not to be a jerk lately. I even stopped beating up on your boyfriend.”
“Yeah you really showed how much you changed…I heard you got a restraining order put on you by your Sensei. The only way you can fight Daniel is in the tournament. I hope he kicks your ass.”
Johnny bit his lip. He remembered why he stopped liking her months ago. She was all take and no give. She constantly put him down. He just hoped the payoff to this little prank would be worth the effort. He really only wanted to get under one person’s skin…and low and behold…like clockwork he was standing right in front of him.
He looked up to see Daniel’s nose pressed against the glass window on the door to the kitchen. He took note of the disbelief battling with shock and confusion and took a moment to slyly smile and raise an eyebrow at him.
He forcefully kissed Ali, keeping his eyes on Daniel the entire time. He watched as Daniel backed away knocking right into a waiter with a ton of spaghetti piled on a plate. It covered him chest to toe. Johnny laughed so hard…it felt GREAT to get a bit of his own back for the amount of bullshit he had put up with. Even a punch to the jaw couldn’t break him from his glee. They all stood and watched as Daniel rushed out of the restaurant, embarrassed beyond words.
It was around 1 am when his phone rang. Johnny rubbed his eyes and fumbled around for the cordless receiver and looked at the caller ID.
“Well…well…to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Schoolyard…now.”
“I dunno…it’s pretty late….are you sure you’re not afraid to be out after dark?”
“Cut your bullshit…I’m giving you ten minutes.”
“Anything you say, Princess…” Johnny smirked and hung up the phone.
The sounds of a motor bike cutting off in the shadows put Daniel’s nerves on edge. He wasn’t sure that he’d even show. Why should he? A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Even though he was supposed to be pissed, he still felt a twinge of desire wind its way like a vine around his nerve endings. He also remembered the pain inflicted by the owner of said bike. He didn’t know why he was such a glutton for punishment. Maybe he was the one who was sick. He heard feet shuffling and eventually saw the top of an uncombed, slept on head of blonde hair illuminated by the street lamp.
“What’s this all about, LaRusso…you’re interrupting my beauty rest.” Johnny said, popping open the can of beer he had brought with him.
“Oh that’s rich…you can’t even face me sober.”
“I can face you sober, drunk, frontwards or backwards…take your pick.”
“God you’re such a jerk…”
“And YOU are too easy…I knew what it would take to get you to see me again and I was right. I know you, LaRusso.”
Daniel exhaled a pent up sigh of frustration and without warning shoved Johnny hard in the chest. His beer went flying and he staggered back a step.
“Come on!!” Daniel posed in a karate stance ready to defend himself when Johnny rose to the challenge.
Johnny looked back at him and smiled.
“Not allowed to touch you anymore…remember?”
“Damn it…Johnny…how long are we gonna go on with this?!” Daniel stomped the ground in frustration and rubbed a hand through his hair.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Daniel whirled around and came as close to Johnny as he could he got up into his face. Johnny could see the fire behind his eyes, his hands moving to form claws, forcefully keeping them at his sides.
“How did it make you feel…huh? How’d it make you feel to almost kill me…you fractured my ribs…I had a minor concussion. YOU did that to me! What’s it gonna take, Johnny…what’s it gonna take for you to feel! To know what I’m going through?!” Daniel turned away his voice breaking.
“You seem to be doing just fine, without me…” Johnny said leaning back against their bench.
“You know this is all your fault…all your fault…if you weren’t so goddamn stubborn…” He broke off again. He had begun to pace the ground.
“Things just got outta hand.”
“You’re damn right they did…”
Daniel finally heard Johnny’s sigh of defeat. He turned to look at him, sitting on the bench with his head hanging low, his hands clasped together.
“What do you want me to say, Daniel?”
“I want….I want you to make it right….why can’t we just go back…back to the way it was. We were happy…weren’t we? I could sleep at night…I could feel normal…nothing is normal now…it’s just all wrong.”
“That’s just how it is, now…I can’t do anything about this.”
Johnny got up to walk away. It was sweet torture to see Daniel bare his soul to him. He was too hurt to allow it to wash over him once again. He had to leave for both of their sakes.
“So that’s it?”
“Pretty much…go on with your training…we’ll have the tournament. Channel your energy into the fight and see what you can do…I’m not gonna go easy on you.”
Johnny turned away and heard a strangled sound coming from Daniel’s throat. Before he could respond he was tackled from behind and brought to the ground in a pile of fallen leaves. “Daniel…what the hell…”
They wrestled for a few moments. Daniel’s strength had improved and while Johnny tried to move him away from him he felt the beginnings of some muscle tone and abs underneath his shirt. He rolled underneath him and grabbed his wrists trying to hold him off.
Daniel twisted away and went back in. He locked his legs around Johnny’s waist and sat on him. He panted heavily, frustrated tears eeking their way out of his eyes.
“I hate you…”
“I know…”
Johnny pulled Daniel down to his chest and enveloped him in a tight hug. He lifted his head and kissed the tears that had formed around Daniel’s eyes away from his lashes. They looked at each other for a long minute before the wrestling turned into who could get the clothes off of the other the fastest. Lips, teeth and tongues, bit scratched and clawed over sensitive flesh. Hands tightly grasped in the others hair, pulling until the pain was too much. Bruises kissed and through each and every one apologies made.
They rolled in the leaves fighting for dominance and giving in to the pleasure coursing through them. Each one giving and taking what they wanted…what they needed. Later in the light of the dawn they lay embraced in each other’s arms. The brown brittle leaves scratching pleasantly against their cooled skin. Johnny pushed Daniel’s bangs away from his forehead and watched him while he slept. Daniel opened his eyes and smiled up at him. He laced his hands behind his head and looked up into the grey morning light and kept smiling. This was the face that Johnny wanted to have etched in his memory…forever.
He got up to leave. He tossed Daniel his pants and he went to put his own on by the bench…it was a real wonder no one came across the pair in the night. That would have been beyond awkward to say the least.
“What do we call this?” Daniel said looking back at Johnny. He had gotten up, stretched and began getting dressed.
“I dunno…I guess we call it a…distraction?”
“I’m thinking we call it PTSD, most likely…”
“You got a point, LaRusso…”
“So…I’ll see ya around then…”
Johnny came over to Daniel and lifted his chin with a forefinger. “Most definitely…” He kissed him on the nose and slung his red jacket over his shoulder. He left him standing there with his eyes closed…the smile was back.
And if I can't bridge this distance
Stop this heartbreak overload
'Cause I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you
No matter what I might say