Chapter Text
Jeongin was never a difficult kid. He wasn’t like his older brother, who cried and screamed every time their mother said the word ‘bath time’. He wasn’t like his younger brother, either, who was known to throw serious tantrums whenever anyone tried to put him down for a nap and who refused, for a long time, to go anywhere if he wasn’t being carried. Jeongin was a good kid, who hardly ever threw tantrums and usually did what he was told.
There was one thing, though, that he refused to go without.
Every night, Jeongin’s mother put him to bed and tucked him in, pressing a kiss to his hair and whispering that she loved him. She did it to his siblings, too, of course. But they never seemed to care about it as much as he did. Once, when he was five, his mother had had to go on a trip, leaving him alone with his brothers and father, and Jeongin had spent the first three nights awake, unable to sleep because there was no one to tuck him in.
On the fourth night, his father had taken him and his brothers and gotten them on his bed. That night, Jeongin had finally slept, snuggled against his dad. That night, he found out that having someone cuddling him would do as a substitute to being tucked in.
As Jeongin as his brothers grew up, though, his mother stopped tucking them in. Jeongin was older, by then. Ten years old, because then his older brother was twelve, and his mother decided that was old enough for her not to need to tuck them in. except Jeongin… well, Jeongin still couldn’t sleep without her doing it.
At first he said nothing. He was old enough now to be embarrassed about showing affection and being needy. But as the fourth sleepless night came, he gave in and as his brothers fell asleep he sneaked out. His mother let him stay in their bed that night. On the next night, she tucked Jeongin in and kissed his forehead, and promised him she would take care of him forever.
When Jeongin was fourteen, he joined JYP and moved into the dorms. He was far from home, too far, and as soon as his mother left to take the train back, he felt his eyes watering. He didn’t let himself cry, though. He couldn’t. If he wanted to do this, he had to be strong. And so he raised his head and took a deep breath, entering the dorm he’d been given the password to.
As soon as he entered, he was almost hit by a boy running past him. He stumbled back, surprised, then turned to see where the boy was going. He then spotted another boy, who seemed quite a few years older than Jeongin himself, carrying a pot and laughing.
“I swear to god, Sungie, you’re like that squirrel from Over the Hedge.”
Said the boy. The other one, the kid who had almost ran over Jeongin, pouted. He was cute, and looked about Jeongin’s age, maybe a bit younger. He had squishy cheeks and squirrel-like front teeth that showed as soon as his pout transformed into a grin.
“Hyung, you made japchae! I have the right to be excited!”
The older boy laughed, making his way around the excited kid. And then someone talked to Jeongin.
“Uhn… who are you?”
Jeongin turned around so fast he almost lost his balance. There was a boy standing near him, looking at him curiously. He reminded Jeongin a bit of a bunny, and seemed to be about the same age as japchae guy. Not the squirrel, the one who cooked.
“Oh, sorry, I, uhn…” He was blushing, he knew he was blushing. He cleared his throat. “I-I’m new. They gave me the passcode to this dorm, I…”
Something changed on the boy’s eyes.
“Oh! Oh, yeah, they told us about you.” He chuckled, and his smile made Jeongin relax a bit. “Chan! The new kid is here!”
Jeongin turned around, and blushed again as he noticed the other two boys had now spotted him.
“Uhn, h-hi. I’m Yang Jeongin, please take care of me.”
He said, remembering his manners and bowing to the other boys. There was a light chuckle. Jeongin looked up. Squirrel boy was staring at him, head tilted quite adorably. Japchae guy was the one who had chuckled.
“Hey, Jeongin. Sorry, we didn’t see you come in. I’m Chan, nice to meet you.”
Jeongin bowed again.
“You’re cute.” Said squirrel boy. Jeongin raised an eyebrow. Like he could talk. “I’m Jisung.”
Jeongin bowed. He turned to the third boy, the one who looked like a bunny. The boy smiled.
“I’m Minho. Please stop bowing, it’s making me anxious.”
Jeongin chuckled, stopping mid-bow.
“Chan hyung! When is the food getting…?”
Jeongin turned to look at the newcomer. The boy was… short. He was dressed in all black and had an earring dangling from his ear, and Jeongin might have been a bit scared of him, but his bangs and the way his shirt covered his hands made him look too soft to be scary.
Japchae guy – Chan, Jeongin corrected himself – laughed.
“Binnie, this is Jeongin. He just moved into the dorm.”
The short boy, Binnie – although Jeongin didn’t think that was his name – glared at Chan.
“Hyung! Don’t call me that.”
Everyone around the room laughed, and Chan rolled his eyes.
“Sorry, Changbin. I won’t ruin your emo vibe again, ok?”
Jeongin couldn’t stop a little laugh from coming out. Changbin turned to him, an eyebrow raised.
“S-sorry, Changbin-ssi. You just look too cute to be emo.”
Everyone burst out laughing. Changbin blushed. Jeongin feared he’d just fucked up real bad. Then Changbin laughed too.
“I like this kid, Chan hyung.”
Chan nodded his head, smiling.
“I like him too.”
After the little talk by the door, Chan proceeded to put the food on the table while Jisung got a plate and chopsticks for Jeongin and Minho showed the boy where to leave his stuff for the time being. They also presented themselves properly, and another guy showed up, Minho. They were all older than Jeongin. Jeongin didn’t know whether to feel glad or sad.
As they sat down to eat, thankfully, there seemed to be food for everyone. Jeongin still didn’t put much on his plate, feeling guilty about just showing up, even though it wasn’t his fault. And as they ate, he observed the boys.
The first thing he noticed was that Changbin was picky. The boy carefully picked out all of the carrots in his plate and passed them to Jisung. Jisung, on the other hand, was shoving food in his mouth like there was no tomorrow, slowing down when Chan sent him a glare.
Chan seemed to be the leader, although he wasn’t the oldest. There was something about the look in his eyes and the way he talked that made Jeongin trust him. He could tell the others felt like that too. Specially Jisung. Jisung listened to Chan like a kid would to their mother.
Minho was quiet. He didn’t talk much, but Jeongin could tell he was paying attention to everyone as well as he could. The boy had a sort of warmness to him. Not like Chan, who made Jeongin feel comfortable and safe, but like someone whose hugs could brighten up your whole day. Was it weird to think that of someone he’d just met?
Minho was… a lot. He wasn’t loud, not really, but he had a weird sense of humour and laughed too much. He also seemed very confident in himself. Not in the way that he thought that he was better than everyone, he just seemed very comfortable in his own skin, and he wasn’t scared of showing it. It was a weirdly addictive personality.
They finished eating. Jeongin helped wash the dishes, and Jisung complained that now Chan would like Jeongin better. The younger laughed, already used to Jisung’s dramatics although he’d only met the boy a few hours ago. He could tell there was… something between Jisung and Chan. He just didn’t quite know what.
On that first night, Jeongin couldn’t sleep. He didn’t need his mother to tuck him in every night anymore. She still did it, and he did sleep better if she did it, but he’d learned to fall asleep on his own. Still… situations like this were different. He was in a different city, miles away from home, sharing a room with people he barely knew. The boys were nice and kind, of course, but that didn’t help ease Jeongin’s anxiousness.
He knew he’d get used to it, though. He knew it was a matter of time and getting to know his new roommates. And so he closed his eyes and rested, not able to fall asleep, but secure enough in his capacity of adaptation to rest for a little bit.
He did notice the way Changbin didn’t seem to sleep as well. He decided not to mention it. The boy probably had his reasons.
Jeongin learned that Changbin and Minho didn’t live at the dorm. Chan explained they were having a movie night on the day he arrived, and that they weren’t supposed to let other people into the dorm, but that they probably wouldn’t get in too much trouble if someone found out, because Minho and Changbin were part of the group. On that day, Chan also asked Jeongin wanted to be part of the group.
If Jeongin was the leader of a group, he didn’t know if he’d want a newcomer four years younger than him to join his group. At the moment, he was just incredibly happy that he seemed to have been accepted by everyone.
And so he joined the group, and it only took him a week to get used to everything and finally get a full night of sleep, and from then on it was easy.
Others joined as time passed.
Felix. Felix was shy and small – not as small as Changbin, but he looked tinier, for some reason –, and he could barely speak Korean. Jeongin could practically see the moment Chan adopted the boy as his newest son, and he could see Jisung working through that to fit Felix and the dynamic he had with Chan.
Seungmin. Seungmin could be defined in one simple word: sweet. He was the sweetest boy Jeongin had ever met, and even if he fawned over Jeongin like the others, there was something to him that made Jeongin fawn over him just as much. But more discretely, of course.
And Hyunjin. Hyunjin was different from all the others, at least to Jeongin. Hyunjin was calm and collected, and he was confident, but humble. Not that the others didn’t have those characteristics, because they did, but Hyunjin… there was just something about Hyunjin that made Jeongin trust him after just a day of meeting him. It wasn’t like Chan and Minho, who made him feel safe. If was different in a way Jeongin couldn’t explain.
Jeongin had expected something like that to happen. He knew that the more stressed he got the harder it would be for him to fall asleep. But he also knew there was nothing he could do, because he couldn’t just call his mother and ask her to ride from Busan to Seoul just to tuck him in. And there was no way he’d ask one of the others to do it, because that was just embarrassing.
The first time it happened, was when they began filming their reality. JYP had been harsh. He’d been harsh to everyone, but he’d been especially harsh to Jeongin, and although the boy knew the industry was like that, he couldn’t help but to feel bad. He could tell everyone was feeling like shit, as well. He had seen Jisung cry – he could tell the boy didn’t want anyone to know, so he said nothing –, even though he’d gotten good criticism. Everyone was affected by the CEO’s words.
So everyone felt bad, but Jeongin seemed to be the only one who couldn’t sleep. He pretended to sleep, because he could tell Chan was already having a hard time with Changbin staying up so late everyday. The leader didn’t need one more insomniac to deal with. Jeongin didn’t question Changbin’s motive or the reason why the boy left the lights on every night. He had his suspicions, but he had more urgent matters to deal with.
And so he put up with his insomnia. He knew it wasn’t ideal and that he needed to sleep properly, but he didn’t know what he could do in this situation. Until… until Hyunjin approached him.
“Innie?”
Jeongin looked up from the lyrics he’d been studying, smiling as he spotted Hyunjin. The older didn’t smile back. He sat down next to Jeongin, frowning. Jeongin’s smile slipped from his mouth.
“Are you ok, hyung?”
Hyunjin pouted.
“There’s something bothering you.”
He said. Jeongin raised an eyebrow. He had never seen Hyunjin as a perceptive person. The older was completely unaware of Felix and Changbin’s pining and of Jisung’s clear oral fixation – Jeongin had commented about that once, and Hyunjin had seemed shocked. So why was he being perceptive right now, of all times?
“I’m perfectly fine, hyung.”
Hyunjin shook his head, pout deepening. Was it weird that Jeongin wanted to kiss that pout away?
“You’re lying. I can tell you’re not fine. You haven’t been sleeping.”
Jeongin sighed.
“I’m just a bit stressed, it’s all.”
Hyunjin sighed and put his hand on Jeongin’s cheek, making the younger look at him.
“Innie. Please tell me what’s wrong. I hate to see you like this.”
At that, Jeongin took a moment to evaluate himself. He didn’t think he looked too bad, but maybe the dark bags under his eyes weren’t as discreet as he thought, and he had indeed been smiling and laughing much less due to tiredness. He was nowhere as bad as Changbin, who looked like a zombie. But he was getting there.
“I just… have a bit of trouble sleeping sometimes.”
He ended up saying. Hyunjin hummed.
“Why?”
Jeongin bit his lip. Could he really trust Hyunjin?
“My mom used to tuck me in.”
Was all he said. He wondered if Hyunjin was able to hear everything contained in that simple phrase. All the ‘I miss my mom and my house’, ‘I wish someone would tuck me in’, ‘I need someone to take care of me sometimes’, hidden in that one simple sentence. The boy seemed to get it. He let go of Jeongin. Then he got up and offered a hand. Jeongin took it.
Seungmin was asleep. Changbin was nowhere to be seen. Hyunjin pulled Jeongin to the younger’s bed and made him lie down.
“Are you sleepy?”
Jeongin nodded. He wasn’t exactly sleepy. He was past that. He was exhausted.
Hyunjin picked up his pyjamas and helped Jeongin change, and Jeongin’s mother hadn’t ever done that, but Jeongin wasn’t about to complain. He did feel a bit embarrassed, but it felt too good to have someone finally take care of him. Hyunjin carefully pulled the covers from under Jeongin, once the younger was dressed, and pulled them over the maknae.
Jeongin sighed happily as Hyunjin tucked him in. He closed his eyes. Hyunjin pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Love you, Jeonginnie. Sweet dreams.”
Jeongin was asleep in a second.
Jeongin expected it to be awkward on the next day, but Hyunjin's policy of ‘talk things through until they’re solved’ didn’t really leave space for awkwardness. As it was, as soon as Jeongin woke up, feeling refreshed and well-rested, Hyunjin asked him if he’d slept well. Jeongin nodded.
“Is this something you need every night?”
Jeongin blushed.
“No, just when I’m stressed.”
Hyunjin nodded.
“When you need it, you can ask me. Ok?”
Jeongin smiled. He had the best friends in the world.
The others found out, eventually. Seungmin was the first, because he shared a room with them. The others slowly learned about it. No one seemed to care. Jeongin understood that everyone in the group had their own little things that would probably be considered weird by everyone else, but that made no difference within the group, because what all of them wanted was for everyone to be happy and comfortable. They were a family. They didn’t judge each other. They just accepted the others for who they were, and worked with that. Jeongin quite liked this lifestyle.
“Want me to tuck you in?”
Jeongin smiled. It was the day before their debut. Of course he was nervous. But he shook his head. Hyunjin frowned and Jeongin chuckled.
“Want to sleep here, hyung?”
Hyunjin’s frown immediately turned into a smile. He made his way next to Jeongin and covered both of them.
“But then who’ll tuck you in?”
He asked. Jeongin shook his head.
“Cuddling with you is enough to get me through the night, hyung.”
And saying that, Jeongin buried his face on Hyunjin’s chest, relaxing. Hyunjin chuckled and wrapped his arms around the younger.
“Love you, Innie.”
“Love you too, hyung.”