Work Text:
ONE: MARCH NINTH, 2018
“Jimin, I’m nervous,” Taehyung muttered, holding onto his best friend’s coat to keep him from entering the apartment. Jimin looked back at him, a furrow in his eyebrows and a frown on his lips.
“Why? It’s just the seven of us, Tae.” Jimin shook Taehyung off of him so he could fully turn around. Taehyung shrugged, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Maybe he was being ridiculous and there really was nothing to worry about, but something in his gut told him that something was definitely going to go wrong.
Taehyung shrugged again, looking down at his shoes. “I’ve just been kinda– kinda uncontrollable lately, and you know how nervous I get around Yoongi hyung.”
Min Yoongi: the man who not only caused Taehyung’s first gay crisis at the age of seventeen, but also sometimes held his hand and called him cute and covered him up with a blanket if he fell asleep on the couch. Min Yoongi, the only boy Taehyung had been known to not know how to act around. Min Yoongi, the boy who thought Taehyung’s apartment was haunted because every time he came over, something broke or flew across the room.
“Tae, nothing bad is going to happen. You’ve been fine all day,” Jimin assured. He reached out and squeezed Taehyung’s shoulder gently. “And if you do start to… freak out, just give me the signal.”
“What signal? You want me to break Jin hyung’s good china with my mind again?” Taehyung asked. That happened the first time Yoongi had offered to share a blanket with Taehyung during a movie. Yoongi had put his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and pulled him tight against his side and – honestly, forget the china, it was a wonder how he kept from shattering all of Jin’s windows.
Jimin huffed and pulled his hand away from Taehyung’s shoulder. “No, you asshole. Do whatever you want. I’ll know; trust me.”
“Okay…” Taehyung said. Jimin turned back around and banged heavily on the door. It opened right away, revealing Hoseok with a champagne glass in his hand and dopey grin on his face.
“What took you guys so long? We saw you leave the car out Jin hyung’s window – bro-jobs in the elevator?” Hoseok winked and licked his lips disgustingly. Jimin laughed and pushed him out of the way muttering about how Hoseok should get a job and stop being gross for a living.
“I heard that!” Hoseok yelled after him, his champagne sloshing out of the glass. He turned to Taehyung and put a hand against his mouth, but didn’t bother to whisper as he said, “Joonie and I pre-gamed before we came over. Jin hyung only ever has old, white people alcohol.”
“I can hear you, Hoseok,” Jin said, walking into the entryway. He pulled Hoseok away from the door and smiled warmly at Taehyung. “Come in, Tae, party can’t start until everyone has a drink.”
Hoseok blew a raspberry. “Tae can’t get drunk on this– on this piss water.”
Taehyung laughed as Jin led Hoseok away, probably to get water. Taehyung briefly wondered what kind of condition Namjoon was in, if Hoseok was that hammered.
Standing in the kitchen, Taehyung quietly regarded his choices. Hoseok, despite being shit-faced, was not lying when he said that all Jin provided was old white people alcohol. Seriously, who wanted to drink white wine and sparkling champagne at their birthday party with a bunch of their bros? The only person who truly seemed to be enjoying the drinks was Jimin, who Taehyung had seen throw back two glasses of champagne back to back.
“There’s cheap beer in the fridge.” Taehyung jumped as Yoongi scooted up beside him.
“Jesus, hyung!” Taehyung yelled, throwing a hand over his heart. “You scared the shit out of me! You gotta stop sneaking up on people like that, man.”
Yoongi smiled a little sheepishly and shrugged. “Not my fault you guys are never attuned enough to hear me coming.” Taehyung scoffed and rolled his eyes, but nevertheless opened the refrigerator, looking for something that wasn’t room temperature or seventy years old.
“So, how does it feel?” Taehyung asked, rooting around in Jin’s drawers for a bottle opener. “The big two-five.”
Yoongi shrugged and reached into the drawer beside him, pulling out the bottle opener. He handed it to Taehyung and said, “same, I guess. Waiting for mom to call and ask why I’m not married yet.”
Taehyung laughed, and Yoongi smiled at him, his head tilted softly to the side. Taehyung smiled back, close-mouthed, trying to keep his nerves under control. To keep himself from saying anything dumb, Taehyung brought his beer to his lips and took a big swig; he immediately regretted it.
“Aw, gross!” Taehyung yelled as soon as he swallowed the mouthful of beer. He set it down on the counter and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You didn’t tell me it was going to taste like ass juice.”
Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “You know what ass juice tastes like?”
Taehyung blushed and immediately looked at the ceiling, trying to avoid eye contact. Taehyung grabbed at the back of his neck and shrugged. “Who… doesn’t know what ass juice tastes like?”
Yoongi merely stared at him, and Taehyung grinned sloppily, shrugging one shoulder. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, and his face was so hot Taehyung wouldn’t be surprised if he caught on fire.
“Yeah, okay,” Yoongi said eventually, grabbing Taehyung’s beer off the counter. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb, a silent invitation. “I’m gonna go see what fuckery Joon and Hobi are up to.”
Taehyung nodded fervently. “Yeah, I’ll come with you.”
In the living room, Hoseok was trying to sneakily lick icing off Yoongi’s cake, and Namjoon was laying on the couch with his head pillowed in Jimin’s lap, almost asleep. As soon as Yoongi and Taehyung entered the living room, Namjoon popped up, a wide grin on his face.
“Hey guys! When did you get here?” His words were a little slurred, but he was grinning happily, and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Just a few minutes ago, Joonie hyung. I came here with Jimin,” Taehyung told him. Namjoon smiled and nodded as he put his head back in Jimin’s lap.
“That’s nice. Jimin is so nice.”
Hoseok frowned and reached over to hit the back of Namjoon’s head. “I’m right here, you ass.”
Namjoon crawled off the couch and curled up in Hoseok’s lap, draping his long legs across the armrest and puckering his lips. “I know. You’re my favorite. But Jimin is always nice to me. He’s also my favorite.”
“Thanks, hyung,” Jimin said. Namjoon looked at him, eyes wide, like he didn’t expect him to be there.
Taehyung looked at Jin. “Where’s Kookie?”
“He said he has night class on Wednesdays. Design, or something?” Jin shrugged and reached for his glass of wine. “Apparently he and Yoongi already celebrated, so it’s okay if he couldn’t come tonight.”
“Yeah, kid said he was going to take me out for a birthday dinner and I still ended up paying.” Yoongi grumbled. Everyone looked at him disbelievingly. They all knew Yoongi had a soft spot for their youngest friend, and even if Jungkook had offered to pay that Yoongi never would have let him.
Suddenly, Hoseok stood up, carrying Namjoon with him to the kitchen. Jin winced at the sound of his kitchen drawers being opened and slammed shut, but eventually the two wandered back into the living room holding a lighter above their heads.
“It’s time,” Hoseok said darkly.
Taehyung watched as everyone moved into position. Jimin reached for the nearest stand alone chair and dragged it towards the center of the room; Jin set to work filling the cake with twenty five colored candles; Namjoon and Hoseok followed behind him, lighting each of them as Jin put them down, and Yoongi – Yoongi leant over the back of the chair, ass in the air.
“Now is the time to commence the tradition!” Hoseok barked, brandishing the lighter like a torch. “Every year, on each person’s birthday, it is accepted that the birthday boy receive as many spanks as the age he be turning! Min Yoongi, how many spanks will you have to endure today?”
“Twenty five!” Yoongi yelled back, trying to keep the smile off his face. This was very serious business.
“Twenty five!” Hoseok echoed. Behind him, Namjoon blew into a party horn. “This year, the Spanker will be decided on account of…” Namjoon drummed against his thighs. “Hand size!”
Belatedly, Hoseok looked over at Jimin. “Sorry.”
Jimin held his hands up. “It’s all good.”
Hoseok put his hand in front of him and Namjoon followed suit. Taehyung merely stared at the two of them, his heart in his throat. He already knew that he had the biggest hands in their group – they all knew that. This was a setup.
Jin put his hand beside Hoseok’s, and all three of them looked at Taehyung expectantly. Yoongi, still bent over the chair, looked up to see what was taking so long.
“C‘mon, Taehyung. Don’t shit on tradition,” Hoseok murmured. Taehyung looked at Jimin, but Jimin was busy trying to keep candle wax from dripping onto the cake icing. He was definitely taking too long.
“Tae?” Taehyung looked over at Yoongi, who had stood up and was looking at him, obviously concerned.
“Nothing! I’m good!” Taehyung yelled, shoving his hand in the circle. Yoongi looked confused, and Taehyung was ninety percent he wasn’t actually asked a question, but what’s done was done and now he was being shoved behind Yoongi, and Hoseok was chatting in his ear about getting the perfect wind-up.
“I got it, hyung,” Taehyung said, swallowing as he looked down at Yoongi. He was slumped over the chair, letting himself flop over the back instead of holding himself up and part of Taehyung was very thankful for that. Yoongi seemed relaxed, completely casual about the whole thing, so maybe Taehyung could be too.
It’s not like he ever thought about this situation late into the night in the comfort of his own bed with the lights off and his sexy music playlist filtering through his headphones, or anything.
“Twenty five?” Taehyung mumbled, as if to make sure. Yoongi nodded, and Taehyung sucked in a deep breath. He felt maybe like he was going to pass out, but – tradition was tradition.
Taehyung smacked Yoongi five times in quick succession, light little taps from cheek to cheek. As he wound back for the sixth, Hoseok grabbed his wrist. “Come on, Tae. Real slaps! I saw you smack Jungkook the last time he tried to steal your fresh fries.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Taehyung said. Taehyung hit Yoongi harder the next time, and Yoongi made a soft groaning sound as his body kicked forward into the back of the chair. The lights flickered as Taehyung’s nerves shot up. “Jimin!”
“What?” Jimin asked, looking confused. Taehyung stared at him, silently begging for him to understand that this was the signal, but he remained completely clueless to Taehyung’s inner turmoil.
“You’re my best friend!” Taehyung yelled. Jimin nodded at him slowly, and Taehyung could feel all of his friends’ eyes on him.
“Only eighteen more,” Namjoon said, leaning heavily against Hoseok’s back.
Only eighteen more, Taehyung said silently to himself. He could handle eighteen more.
Taehyung looked down at Yoongi’s ass, still propped up by the back of the chair, and swallowed. He could handle eighteen more. He could.
As soon as Taehyung brought his hand down for the eighth slap, one of the candles caught completely on fire and fell off the side of the cake, quickly causing the fire to spread to the napkins and paper plates.
“Shit!” Yoongi yelled, standing up so fast he almost head butted Taehyung. Jimin quickly poured a glass of water over the fire while Jin moved to blow out all the candles. Yoongi started pulling all the flammable items off the coffee table, and Taehyung merely stood back and watched as his accident wreaked havoc on the apartment.
The fire alarm went off, and Namjoon and Hoseok ran over to wave their hands close to it, trying to ward off the smoke.
Over the noise, Jimin looked at Taehyung and yelled, “What happened to the signal!”
“I tried–!”
TWO: MAY TWENTY-THIRD, 2018
Taehyung paced in front of his exhibit, biting at his nails. He had everything laid out perfectly, and his advisor had already been over to tell him everything looked great, but he still couldn’t stop his stomach from rolling or his temples from throbbing with nervous energy.
He knew Jungkook was around somewhere, and if he really felt nervous he could ask him for something to help him calm down. Unlike Taehyung, whose magic came from some uncontrollable tap inside him, Jungkook had to use potions to do his magic – making him less of a danger to himself and those around him.
“Hey, Tae.” Hoseok walked up to Taehyung’s booth with a grin on his face, and Taehyung felt some of the knots in his stomach loosen. Hoseok peeked around his exhibit for a second before frowning. “Where’s Jimin? You two are usually glued at the hip during these things.”
“He’s at home, resting.” Read: Jimin was at home in bed, recovering from a bad case of slug barf induced by Taehyung’s nervous accidental spell casting from the night before.
Hoseok nodded, smiling easily. “Alright then. I’m gonna walk around and see some of the other booths, text me when your prof gets here, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung said. Hoseok walked away and Taehyung went back to silently freaking out. He’d been working on his exhibition for months, meticulously planning everything, from what he wanted to paint, what mediums he wanted to paint with, even down to where he wanted to place it in booth so everything flowed.
“It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine,” Taehyung murmured to himself, needlessly straightening the hanging paintings. “Mrs. Kwang already said it looked good; I’m bound to get an A, no need to stress, it’s only the very thing that will decide if I graduate college–”
“Tae?” Taehyung yelped and spun around, holding one of his paintings like a weapon. Yoongi was standing a few feet away from him, holding two cups from the campus cafe next door. “Shit, sorry, I know I’m not supposed to do that.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Taehyung assured, putting his painting back on the table. It was a recreation of Starry Night, and now that it was officially going to be judged, Taehyung could pick out every single thing that was wrong with it. How could he even consider this to be included as a part of his final exhibition?
“Hey, stop worrying. I can hear you overthinking from here,” Yoongi said. He sat down the coffee cups on the floor next to Taehyung’s booth and turned him so he couldn’t look at his own work any longer. Yoongi put a gentle hand on Taehyung’s chin and pulled it down so Taehyung would look at him. “Listen to me. All this stuff looks awesome; I can tell you’ve worked really hard. Professor Han will be able to tell, too. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing… to worry about,” Taehyung repeated. The feeling of Yoongi’s hand on his face was warmwarmwarm and Taehyung could feel his brain slowly going out of focus. The only thing that mattered was Yoongi’s hands on his face and the fact that he was there, taking time out of his busy day to come see Taehyung’s exhibition and keep him from nervously vomiting all over his works.
Suddenly Taehyung’s face was cold as Yoongi pulled away from him. “Here, I brought you hot chocolate. I figured maybe you’d need some comfort.”
Taehyung’s heart thumped in his chest, swelling as Yoongi handed him his hot chocolate. He almost wanted to cry. “Yoongi hyung, you’re the best.” In a moment of bravery, Taehyung flopped his head down onto Yoongi’s shoulder and buried his nose in Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi reached up and gently played with the hair at the nape of Taehyung’s neck.
After a while, Yoongi pulled back. “So, tell me about some of these.”
Taehyung started with the Van Gogh recreation, and Yoongi listened intently as Taehyung explained the theory of Van Gogh’s chronic migraines, and that Taehyung had chosen to paint this the same morning he had the worst hangover of his life to try and get the same effect.
“And that one?” Yoongi asked, pointing towards an oil painting of a messy workroom, books spilling off the shelves and papers strewn across every flat surface. If anyone asked, Taehyung always said,
“It represents my mind when I’m stressed out.”
But only he and his family knew that it was a oil painting of his mother’s work room, where she spent endless hours researching and potion making.
“That’s cool,” Yoongi said, squinting at the painting to try and soak in every detail. Taehyung nodded, and quickly moved to the other side of Yoongi to block the painting he was bound to see next. It was one of his favorites, but he kept it hidden away in his sketchbook for a long time because –
Well, because it was embarrassing.
Yoongi straightened back up and smiled at Taehyung, his eyes scanning the booth for another painting to ask about. As he was looking, Taehyung’s professor walked up, her hair tied back in the bun that Taehyung dubbed her no nonsense bun, and a clipboard in her hand.
“Oh god,” Taehyung squeaked softly. Yoongi turned around, mouth open to ask what was wrong, but he promptly shut it when he saw Taehyung’s professor.
“Interesting set up you have here, Mr. Kim,” Taehyung’s professor said. Taehyung merely nodded at her, heart in his throat. Mrs. Han scanned her eyes over the paintings as Taehyung fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. “I’ve seen these before, Taehyung. Do you have anything new?”
Taehyung’s heart thumped wildly in his chest. He could feel his palms getting sweaty and cold, and he knew it was only a matter of time before something went wrong. He just hoped he wouldn’t accidentally make Mrs. Han barf slugs, too.
“Uh, well, there’s uh– there’s that,” Taehyung pointed to the painting of his mother’s workshop. “It represents my mind when I’m stressed, and this I painted during, um, exam week when I was– when I was stressed.”
The corner of Mrs. Han’s mouth quirked up and she nodded, writing something down on her clipboard. Taehyung’s hands shook. Taehyung wiped at his forehead, and gentlygentlygently he felt a pressure on his back.
Yoongi wasn't looking at him, staring across the room at an entire castle carved out of butter, but his hand was on Taehyung’s back, moving in tiny circles. Yoongi was comforting him.
Taehyung thought he might pass out.
“And what about that? The thing you’re standing in front of?” Mrs. Han asked, pointing with the tip of her pen at the painting behind Taehyung.
Taehyung’s first response was to scream, “WHAT PAINTING? I DON’T PAINT, WHAT’S A PAINT?” But Yoongi was staring at him now, eyes flickering back and forth to try and see what Taehyung was hiding.
Slowly, he stepped to the side. The painting was two silhouettes, one obviously taller than the other, standing against a sunset background with the ocean in front of them. To the side was a group of other silhouettes, sitting around what could have been considered a campfire. Taehyung didn’t really focus on that when he was painting, though. The other silhouettes weren’t important.
“Interesting. I’ve never even seen the sketch for this one,” Mrs. Han said. She leaned closer, and Taehyung held his breath. His heartbeat is erratic, and he completely refused to even breathe in Yoongi’s direction, thinking it would give him away. “What’s it called?”
Taehyung choked on his breath, leaning over to put his hands on his knees while he coughed. When he straightened back up, he felt Yoongi’s hand on his back, a both comforting and terrifying feeling.
He couldn’t possibly tell his professor what the painting was called. To her, it might have seemed like a random series of numbers, but Taehyung knew it was the day he and Yoongi met, and if Taehyung knew, then Yoongi might know, and he definitely couldn’t let Yoongi find out.
Oh god, he was so nervous.
“Um, uh–” Taehyung stuttered, trying to choke out his words. The hand on his back had stopped moving, and all Taehyung could think was he knows, he knows, he knows. “It’s, it’s called, um–”
When did it get so hot in the room?
“Taehyung?” Mrs. Han asked, voice concerned. Taehyung never got this nervous about his art, always happy to share his latest sketches and get feedback, but he was so nervous he couldn’t see and his hands were so sweaty, and Yoongi was right there, and Taehyung’s whole college career depended on this–
To the right of Taehyung’s booth, four clay pots exploded.
“Darnit,” Taehyung whined, but he was cut off when Yoongi pushed him closer to the corner of his booth and covered his body with his own. The shards of pot didn’t fly far, but there was a few scattered over Taehyung’s display table and the floor behind it.
The girl beside Taehyung promptly burst into tears at the sight of her final project in ruins.
Mrs. Han turned to look at Taehyung, completely ignoring the body in front of him. “Excuse me, Taehyung. These were very good, and I’d love to hear more but–”
“No, no, go ahead! She’s probably upset,” Taehyung said. Mrs. Han nodded and walked to the next booth, and Taehyung could hear her quietly shushing the girl and telling her that everything would be okay.
Taehyung breathed heavily, leaning back against the wall of his booth. He almost forgot Yoongi was there until he whistled lowly.
“That was crazy; are you okay?” Yoongi turned around and started running his hands up and down Taehyung’s arms, looking for wounds.
“I’m fine!” Taehyung said, pushing Yoongi away from him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Yoongi to touch him – craved it, actually – but he didn’t want to freak out again and ruin another person’s project, all because he couldn’t handle his crush standing too close. Yoongi looked at him oddly, but Taehyung merely forced a smile and wiped non-existent dirt off the front of his shirt. “I’m good, I’m fine.”
“As long as you say so…” Yoongi said. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’m gonna go look at Kookie’s booth now. Come over later and we can all go get milkshakes or something.”
“You got it,” Taehyung said. He flashed Yoongi a thumbs up and the older boy walked away. Taehyung sighed and slumped back against the wall of his booth. Now that Yoongi was gone, Taehyung could hear the conversation going on in the booth next to him, his professor promising that she wasn’t going to fail the girl just because of a freak accident.
Taehyung pulled his phone out of his pocket.
To: best friend
sending distress signals in the form of exploding pottery
From: best friend
oh no :((((
To: best friend
oh yes. yoongi left work to come give me hot chocolate
and rub my back. he wants to get milkshakes
From: best friend
how about you tell him you’ll meet up with him later,
but im sick and need the comfort of my bff
To: best friend
you’re so smart. ill be home soon
From: best friend
on your way buy an aquarium. we have pet
slugs
THREE: OCTOBER THIRTY-FIRST, 2018
“Who’s ready to par-tay?” Jimin asked, throwing Taehyung’s door open. Taehyung was standing close to his mirror, attempting to put on eyeliner without blinding himself.
“Can’t talk, serious business,” he said. Jimin walked over to him and gingerly took the eye pencil out of his hand. He pushed Taehyung down onto his bed and crawled in his lap, grabbing Taehyung’s chin for a better angle. “What are you doing?”
“Your eyeliner, because we’re running late and you suck at makeup.” Taehyung scoffed, but Jimin ignored him in favor for running the eye pencil across left Taehyung’s eyelid before shifting to the other side. Once he was done, Taehyung moved to help Jimin off of him, but Jimin batted his hands away. “No, I’m putting shadow on you, too.”
“I thought you said we were running late,” Taehyung said. Jimin paid him no mind, instead tilted Taehyung’s head back and told him to be quiet.
By the time they arrived at Hoseok and Namjoon’s house, the party was in full swing, and there were already people passed out on the lawn. Jimin stepped over each sleeping body dutifully, and Taehyung followed behind him, moving people into more comfortable positions so they wouldn’t wake up with cricks in their necks.
“Hyungs!” Someone yelled as soon as they walked through the door. Jungkook came bounding over to them, drinking sloshing over his solo cup and police baton thumping against his leg. He stopped in front of them, obviously sizing up their costumes. He smiled at Jimin’s long cape and black attire – a vampire, because Jimin said he could be scary and sexy. Jungkook’s smile switched from impressed to kind of annoyed when he saw Taehyung’s outfit.
“A witch, hyung, really?” Taehyung shrugged, and Jungkook stared at him for a moment before saying, “what a cop out.”
Taehyung groaned and Jimin laughed. Jungkook smiled, looking insanely proud of himself, and Taehyung pushed his shoulder. “You’ve been spending too much time with Jin hyung, you’re getting annoying.”
“Oh come on, that was funny!” Jungkook insisted, but Taehyung merely shook his head and pushed past him, making his way to the kitchen. Jungkook and Jimin both followed him, and Taehyung heard Jimin ask where all their other friends were.
“They’re chilling in the basement. I’ve been up here waiting for you guys, but once you get your drinks we can head down there,” Jungkook said. Jimin grabbed two bottles of beer out of the refrigerator and Jungkook filled another solo cup with some fruity concoction that Taehyung was pretty sure was more coconut water than alcohol, but he didn’t say anything – Jungkook was always trying his hardest to prove how grown up he was, and if wanted his friends to think that the clear liquid in his cup was vodka and not flavored water, taehyung wasn’t going to be the one to ruin his fun.
Jimin handed him a beer and the three of them made their way down to the basement, trying their best not to bump into too many grinding bodies. Taehyung was pretty sure that Hoseok and Namjoon didn’t actually know half the people that showed up to their parties, but in their eyes, if you showed up then you were welcome.
“Nice of you guys to finally show up,” Jin said as the the three of them made their way down the basement steps. Jimin stuck his tongue out at Jin and immediately moved to sit almost in his lap. Jin wrapped his arms around Jimin’s waist and offered him his glass – whiskey, no doubt. They were the only two in their friend group that liked it.
Taehyung sat down next to Hoseok, who had Namjoon on his lap, passing a drink back and forth. “What are you two supposed to be? Siamese twins?”
Hoseok laughed and Namjoon giggled, resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. “Nah, we just love each other.” Namjoon said. Taehyung smiled at him. Drunk Namjoon was one of his favorite Namjoon’s – after embarrassing dad Namjoon and before existential crisis Namjoon.
“He’s an outlet,” Hoseok said, pointing to the four painted lines down the front of Namjoon’s white pants and shirt. “And I’m a plug, you just can’t see.”
All of their friends stared at him for a moment, before Jungkook yelled, “aw c’mon guys, gross!”
“Says the one dressed up as a sexy police officer!”
“It’s not sexy! It’s just a police officer!”
Jimin raised his beer bottle in the air. “Well I’m sexy. Why aren’t I getting compliments?” Everyone immediately started peppering Jimin with compliments, to which he giggled and blushed and told everyone to shut up. In the midst of Jin grabbing Jimin’s face and calling him the cutest, sexiest vampire ever, Yoongi walked into the basement with a red cup in his hand.
“You guys are having our first ever friend orgy without me?” He asked, looking between Jimin and Jin and Namjoon and Hoseok. When Taehyung looked over, he saw Namjoon dragging a lazy finger down the front of Hoseok’s costume, and because he was so close he could hear what seemed to be the beginnings of electrician-related dirty talk.
Taehyung slid off the couch and onto the floor, and Yoongi walked over to sit beside him. Jungkook crawled over and the three of them made conversation between themselves for a while, until Jimin yelled, “Yoongi hyung is dressed as a sexy cat!”
“It’s just a cat.” Yoongi said, and beside him, Jungkook mumbled something along the lines of ‘why does everything have to be sexy with these people.’ “And it’s not even really a costume, all I had in my closet that could even pass as a costume was this. It would not have been my first choice.”
“That’s okay, Yoongi hyung, because you and Taetae match!” Jimin said happily. Taehyung’s heart picked up, and immediately he knew that whatever Jimin was going to say was not going to end well for him. “You see, Taehyungie is a witch–”
“Jimin,” Jungkook and Taehyung said at the same time. Sober, Jimin was a perfectly locked up box, and he knew that revealing Taehyung’s secret could be detrimental not only to their own friendship, but his relationships with everyone else he knew. Drunk, Jimin was a loose canon just waiting to tell the ending of a movie you haven’t seen, or spoil the end of the seventh Harry Potter book. (Taehyung didn’t talk to him for three weeks after that slip-up.)
Jimin blew a raspberry at his two younger friends. “Dress up as a witch. And Yoongi hyung is dressed as a cat! That means that Yoongi hyung is Tae’s familiar!”
Namjoon, Hoseok and Jin made a noise of understanding, while Taehyung and Jungkook winced. Technically, Taehyung’s type of magic didn’t call for a familiar, so Taehyung could say that, but knowing his friend group, they would poke and prod at Taehyung, asking how he knew so much about witches, and Taehyung had never been a good liar.
“And being a witch’s familiar means that you’re practically their slave.” Jimin said, eyes sparkling with delight. Yoongi made a weird sound in the back of his throat. Taehyung turned to him, cheeks red, ready to tell Yoongi to just ignore his best friend when–
“C’mon, Yoongi, you’re Tae’s slave. Go get him a drink or something,” Jin said, resting his chin on Jimin’s shoulder. He made a shooing motion with his hand, and Hoseok whooped from the couch behind them.
Taehyung grabbed Yoongi’s sweater when he tried to stand up. “You really don’t have to do that,” He said. Yoongi shrugged, smiling at him a little lopsided.
“It’s fine, I need more soda anyway,” Yoongi said, shaking his cup. Taehyung pulled a face, because who drank soda at a Halloween party? and Yoongi laughed. “I’m designated driver for that one,” he pointed at Jin. “He has work tomorrow.”
Taehyung nodded and let go of Yoongi’s sweater. As soon as Yoongi’s back was turned, Taehyung looked towards Jimin, glaring. Jimin merely smiled back at him and winked.
“Slave,” was all said, accompanied by another wink and a crude jerking motion with his hand.
“Unbelievable,” Taehyung muttered, turning back to Jungkook. Jungkook shrugged and took a big swig of his drink – a bigger gulp than any sane person would have taken had there been any real liquor in his drink. “Anyways, how did the exhibition go for you?”
“Prof said that my animation skills were getting better, but that my films were the best he’s seen out of junior in a long time. Said that if I were to apply for an internship anywhere to send those instead of my animations,” Jungkook said.
“The GCF ones?” Taehyung asked. He knew how important those films were to Jungkook. He’d been in a few of them, but he knew that his presence was only to offer a buffer between Jungkook and –
“Jimin, stop wiggling so much,” Jin giggled, holding onto Jimin’s hips.
Jungkook looked at the two of them briefly before flitting his eyes back to Taehyung. “Prof really liked them. Said he could feel all my emotions, like he was there.”
“You know he adores you,” Taehyung said quietly. Jungkook shrugged and looked down at his lap. Jungkook had been pining after Jimin since the first time they met, Taehyung is pretty sure. He’d almost confessed to him a few times, but something always got in the way. The biggest obstacle being Jin, who seemed to like Jimin just as much as Jungkook did but actually had the confidence to make a move. “Jin hyung loves you too, you know. Maybe you should just talk to them.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Tae,” Jungkook said. Taehyung opened his mouth to say something, but Yoongi sat down next to him and broke the air of comfortability and confidentiality.
Yoongi looked between him and Jungkook, holding a beer in one hand and his cup in the other. “What’s going on? Why am I getting a weird vibe? Should I go sit somewhere else?”
“No, you’re fine, hyung. Is that for me?” Taehyung asked, pointing at the beer. Yoongi nodded and handed it to him, but his eyes were focused concernedly on Jungkook, who was staring into his cup despondently. Taehyung reached over and poked a finger under Jungkook’s chin. “Chin up, Kookie. We’re just going to have fun tonight, yeah? And celebrate a job well done on your capstone.”
Jungkook smiled, albeit smally, but it was a smile. At the mentioning of the capstone, Yoongi perked up. “Jungkook, you won’t believe what happened as Taehyung’s professor was grading his work.” Taehyung blanched as Jungkook sat up straighter, obviously intrigued. Taehyung could feel Jimin’s eyes on him, obviously curious to hear the story from another perspective.
“What happened?” Jungkook asked, eyes flickering towards Taehyung. Taehyung glared at him, and Jungkook bit his lip to hold back a laugh.
“Tae’s prof is asking him all these questions about this art piece, and all the sudden the girl next to us, her clay pots just explode. It was crazy. Came completely out of nowhere, too,” Yoongi said. He laughed to himself and took a drink of his soda. “So she’s over there like, crying, and the professor is like ‘I need to go,’ and Tae, calm as ever, is just like, ‘yeah no worries, man, she’s probably upset.’ He didn’t even seem fazed.”
“Really?” Jimin asked. Yoongi turned towards him and nodded. “He seemed pretty shaken up when he got home.”
Yoongi frowned, turning back to Taehyung. Taehyung smiled sheepishly, feeling his nerves start to spike. What the fuck was Jimin doing? “Really? Is that why you didn’t come out for milkshakes?”
“Jimin was really sick, too. I think he’s remembering wrong,” Taehyung said. His voice came out tight, and Jungkook rested a hand on his knee. Jimin, across the room, apparently didn’t know how to pick up social cues after drinking so much.
“No…” Jimin said, narrowing his eyes at Taehyung. “Your hands were shaking, I remember. It took forever to calm you down.” Jimin shifted his gaze to Yoongi and grinned. “Maybe you’re just good at comforting people, hyung.”
“Nah, I remember when I twisted my ankle and when he was trying to tell me everything would be okay he patted my ankle.” Hoseok said. Yoongi glared at him, and Taehyung could already tell where the conversation was going. He just hoped that Jimin would get sidetracked and not say anything else.
“Maybe hyung is just really good at comforting Taehyung,” Namjoon said, and Taehyung cursed internally. He thought Namjoon would be on his side. Evidently not.
Taehyung looked away from his friends, staring at the wall to try and hide the fierce blush on his cheeks. He felt jittery, the beer in his hands shaking a little with his embarrassment, and Jungkook rubbed his knee, as if he could feel the buildup of magic from wherever it manifested itself in Taehyung’s body.
“He looks a little upset now, actually,” Jin said, rubbing his chin. He looked at Yoongi with a glint in his eye. “As his familiar, maybe you comfort him, Yoongi.”
“Guys–” Jungkook started, but Yoongi cut him off by turning himself fully to face Taehyung and burying his face in Taehyung’s shoulder. Slowly, Yoongi moved his face back and forth like he was nuzzling him.
Like a cat.
Taehyung felt Yoongi reach down and grab his wrist, pulling on it until Taehyung had his arm wrapped around Yoongi’s back. Taehyung breathed deeply through his nose, but all his efforts went to shit when Yoongi shuffled forward on his knees to get closer to him, and his hand landed on a bare patch of skin on Taehyung’s thigh, exposed by his ripped jeans.
“Sorry,” Taehyung whispered, and moment later the beer bottle in his hand shattered. On the table, empty bottles broke at random, sending shards of glass scattering off the table and onto the floor. Yoongi pulled back immediately, looking down to exam his now soaked sweater.
The room fell quiet for a moment, until slowly Namjoon stood up and started picking up little pieces of glass off the floor. Hoseok followed behind him, murmuring to be careful because Namjoon was known for being a little clumsy, especially when he was drunk.
“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened–” Taehyung blabbered to Yoongi, looking down at his hyung’s sopping wet sweater. He reached forward, but Yoongi caught his wrist before he could touch him.
“Taetae, you’re bleeding. We can handle my sweater later, let’s get you fixed up, yeah?” Yoongi asked.
Jungkook gently stepped between them and took Taehyung’s wrist out of Yoongi’s grasp. “How about I take care of hyung, and you take care of your sweater.” Yoongi looked apprehensive, eyes flickering between Jungkook’s pleading face and the tears gathering in the corners of Taehyung’s eyes. “Please, hyung.”
Yoongi nodded. “Okay. But if you need anything–”
“You’ll be the first to know,” Jungkook assured. He turned to Taehyung and said quietly, “come on, hyung. We don’t want to stain anything.”
Taehyung followed Jungkook to the bathroom, silent other than a few sniffles here and there. He jumped onto the counter as Jungkook looked around for the first aid kit, and once he made eye contact with Taehyung, Taehyung promptly burst into tears.
“It’s okay, hyung. Don’t cry,” Jungkook said, hugging Taehyung’s torso tightly. Taehyung wiped his snot on Jungkook’s shoulder, but the younger boy didn’t seem to mind. “Listen to me. You didn’t mean to, you never mean to, so it’s okay. You’ll learn how to control yourself around him one day, okay? Please stop crying, you’re making me want to cry, too.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung said, pulling back to wipe his eyes. “I’m just– I’m so frustrated. Sometimes I wish I didn’t even have magic. All I can do is pour milk without my hands and explode things on accident.”
Jungkook silently began to wipe off Taehyung’s hand, pulling a piece of glass out of his thumb. “But you can pour milk without your hands.” Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung laughed. His mom had told him before he went to college that he would be a late bloomer and not to worry, but Taehyung was almost twenty three and couldn’t even bring the remote to himself with his mind.
“Yeah, I just feel so far behind. Like comparatively–”
“Forget about comparatively,” Jungkook said. He was wrapping a bandage around Taehyung’s hand. “Repeat after me: I’m Kim Taehyung; I can pour milk without my hands and I’m proud!”
“Jungkook–”
“I’m Kim Taehyung,” Jungkook repeated, louder this time. “I can pour milk without my hands and I’m proud!”
“This is ridiculous–”
“I’m Kim Taehyung!” Jungkook yelled. “I can pour milk without my hands and I’m proud!”
When Taehyung didn’t say anything, Jungkook opened his mouth and took a huge breath, obviously ready to scream, and Taehyung slapped his good hand over Jungkook’s mouth.
"I’m Kim Taehyung, I can pour milk without my hands and I’m proud,” Taehyung said.
Jungkook frowned, and muffled against Taehyung’s hand said, “that was weak. But I accept.”
Outside the bathroom door, they heard a drunk voice slur, “so do you pour it with your feet?”
FOUR: DECEMBER TWENTY-FIFTH, 2018
“Please tell me someone made eggnog,” Hoseok said as he entered Jin’s apartment. Namjoon rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes, mouthing ‘alcoholic’ behind his boyfriend’s back.
Jimin made a despairing sound. “Sorry, hyung. No eggnog this year. But Tae and I brought instant hot chocolate.” Hoseok’s face brightened up considerably as he skipped to the kitchen to make microwave hot chocolate.
In the living room, Jin was organizing gifts by their recipients, and Jungkook had his camera out, filming Jimin as he sang Christmas carols in over exaggerated trot versions. Namjoon and Hoseok curled up together on the loveseat, and Taehyung watched as they shared quiet conversation and passed their hot chocolate between them.
“Where’s Yoongi hyung?” Taehyung asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Both Jungkook and Jimin turned to stare at him, though, and Taehyung thought he probably failed at sounding casual.
Jin, however, did not seem to pick up on his less-than-subtle question and answered, “there was a wreck on the bridge so he got caught up in some traffic. He should be here soon.” Taehyung nodded and sank back into the couch, trying not to look at the door too much.
“Who’s turn is it to put on the star this year?” Namjoon asked as Hoseok wiped whipped cream off his upper lip. Taehyung shrugged and looked at Jimin, who shrugged and looked at Jungkook, who shrugged and looked at Jin.
Jin stared at all of them in disbelief. “We do this every year and you guys can’t remember? What a way to shit on tradition.” When no one said anything, Jin sighed. “It’s Namjoon’s turn. That’s why I got such a tall tree this year.”
Jin looked behind him and started looking for the star, and Taehyung closed his eyes. He’d been working all day on how to completely relax himself, and unless something random happened like a snake attack, he was one-hundred percent sure he wouldn’t fuck anything up on Christmas.
There was a loud banging at the door and Taehyung jumped, poised to fight. On the other side of the door, Yoongi yelled, “someone help! Shit’s heavy.” Taehyung jumped over the back of the couch and opened the door. He stared down at Yoongi for a moment, taking in his red nose and scarf that covered half of his face. Presents were piled up high enough to cover his chin, and Taehyung grinned. His hyung was so cute.
“Gonna let me in?” Yoongi asked, and Taehyung immediately moved to the side. He took the presents so Yoongi could take off his coat and shoes. “I can take some of those…” Yoongi took a few of the gifts and they made their way towards the living room. Taehyung trailed behind Yoongi, trying not to drop the gifts, when Hoseok shouted,
“Stop!” Yoongi froze in his tracks and Taehyung stopped right behind him, almost falling over his own feet. Namjoon looked up from where he was trying to get the best angle to put the star on the tree, and Jungkook and Jimin turned away from their mini concert-with-fansite business in the corner. Even Jin looked up from where he was meticulously organizing Christmas candies.
“What? Is there stuff on the ground? I can’t see over these boxes,” Yoongi said, trying to get a good look at the floor. Taehyung’s heart rate spiked, because as Yoongi looked for debris on the floor, Hoseok was fishing his phone out of his pocket with a grin on his face.
“Nothing on the floor, just mistletoe,” Hoseok said. Jin whistled and Namjoon whooped obnoxiously. Jimin and Jungkook looked shocked, both staring at Taehyung, looking worried. Yoongi didn’t say anything and Taehyung stared down at the presents in his hands. “C’mon, c’mon, don’t be prudish.”
“Hoseok–” Jimin started.
Hoseok sighed and frowned at Jimin. “Stop trying to eat Christmas.”
Jimin frowned, and Taehyung couldn’t help the loud, forced, laugh that came out of him. He’d read somewhere that laughing about a stressful situation would make you feel less nervous, or in his case, less likely to blow things up with his mind. Hoseok smiled and puffed his chest out. “See, Tae is on board! Lighten up, Jimin, it’s just a kiss.”
“Just a kiss,” Taehyung parroted.
“No big deal,” Yoongi said.
Taehyung could feel his hands as they started to shake. Yoongi slowly turned around to face him, an awkward distance away due to the presents between them. Taehyung smiled shakily and glanced up at the tiny leaf above them. Damn plants.
“Listen, we don’t have to do this. Hoseok will get over it,” Yoongi whispered. Taehyung nodded, but didn’t make any effort to move. There was rustling somewhere in the living room, probably another one of their friends pulling out his phone. Yoongi looked down at the gifts Taehyung was holding, which were shaking slightly in his grasp.
“It’s not rocket science!” Hoseok shouted from his spot on the loveseat.
Taehyung took a shaky breath. “It’s just a kiss.”
“No big deal,” Yoongi repeated. Taehyung nodded to himself, glancing over at Jimin and Jungkook, who were staring at him, both of them with their bottom lips pulled into their mouths. A nervous habit Taehyung was sure they picked up from each other. When Taehyung looked back at Yoongi, he was doing the best he could to balance on his tiptoes without dropping the presents. They made eye contact. “You sure you’re okay with this?”
“Sure, why not?” Taehyung squeaked. As he leant down towards Yoongi and Yoongi craned upwards, Taehyung closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Nothing bad would happen on Christmas, nothing bad would happen on Christmas, nothing bad would happen on Christmas.
Taehyung felt Yoongi’s breath on his face and–
A resounding thud and a groan had them both jumping backwards.
Taehyung opened his eyes to see that the tree had fallen over, and Namjoon was writhing under it, star still in his hand.
“Joonie!” Hoseok yelled, throwing his phone on the loveseat and running across the room to his boyfriend. Taehyung stood there, shocked, as Hoseok and Jin pulled the tree off of Namjoon and helped him up. “Are you okay? Anything broken? Do you feel any internal bleeding?”
Namjoon had a few scrapes on his face and arms, but was smiling widely down at his boyfriend. “I’m alright, babe. Stop worrying so much.”
“You could have gotten really hurt, Namjoon,” Hoseok said, sounding completely serious. Taehyung made a sad, guilty sound in the back of his throat, and Jungkook looked up at him.
Not your fault, he mouthed, but Taehyung couldn’t believe it.
“Yeah, what if you had hit your head? You could have been hospitalized,” Jin said. He was running his fingers through Namjoon’s hair, looking for bumps, and Taehyung felt his heart sink. Namjoon could have gotten seriously hurt, and it was all his fault. Just because he didn’t know how to control his stupid magic.
“Guys, don’t be dramatic,” Jungkook said. Despite knowing that that could have been the case, Taehyung knew that Jungkook only said that to try and make Taehyung feel better.
“Yeah, seriously. Nothing bad happened, and it’s my fault anyways, for being so clumsy,” Namjoon said. Jungkook looked over at Taehyung with an I told you so, look.
Yoongi walked into the living room and all but dropped his presents onto the floor. “I think it looks better laying down, anyways. Now I can reach all the popcorn strings.”
“Those are strictly decoration, Min Yoongi–!”
FIVE: DECEMBER THIRTIETH, 2018
“Who’s ready to be twenty three? Tae is! Tae is!” Jimin sang as he bent over Taehyung’s frame. He was digging an eyeshadow brush into Taehyung’s eyelid, and part of him wondered if he’d even be able to see after the harsh treatment. “Who’s gonna look hot enough to bang? Tae is! Tae is!”
“Are you saying he’s not always hot enough to bang?” Jungkook asked. He was laying somewhere on Taehyung’s bed, watching Jimin paint their best friend.
Jimin scoffed, and the makeup brush suddenly left Taehyung’s face. “Who asked you, Jungkook?”
Jungkook didn’t say anything back, and Taehyung imagined him holding his hands up in mock surrender. Something had been different between Jungkook and Jimin since Christmas. Jimin had been inviting him over everyday, and the other day they went on a “friend date” without him. Taehyung could only hope that the Christmas present Jungkook refused to give him in front of everyone had something to do with confessing.
“So what’s the game plan for the whole ‘Tae sees Yoongi and everything promptly goes to shit,’ thing?” Jimin asked. Taehyung made an upset noise at the name Jimin had given his situation, but both of his friends ignored him.
Jungkook hummed, his voice suddenly very close to Taehyung’s ear. “What if we just tell Yoongi hyung he can’t come to the party?”
Taehyung reeled away from Jimin’s hands and glared at Jungkook. He was sure he looked ridiculous with only one eye covered in makeup, but– “How dare you even suggest that?”
Jungkook shrugged. “I mean, if he’s not here nothing can go to shit, right?”
“Why don’t you just throw my heart in a blender?”
“Okay, okay, new plan,” Jimin said. He grabbed Taehyung’s chin and turned him back around. “First, you need to close your eyes so I can finish this. If Jungkook says anything else dumb I’ll smack him. Deal?”
“Fine.” Taehyung closed his eyes and let Jimin get back to work. “What about if someone makes me really nervous now, so I can’t magic barf all over everything later?”
Jimin made a noncommittal sound. “You really only get nervous enough for things to go wrong if it’s about school or him, though. And you’re home free of school.” Taehyung sighed and opened his eyes when Jimin patted his cheek lightly. “Make a fish face.”
Taehyung followed Jimin’s directions and Jungkook made a happy sound behind him. “What if we just keep Yoongi hyung from touching you? That would be super nonchalant, too. We just have to make sure that one of us is sitting beside you at all times, which keeps hyung from being able to!”
“I like that idea the best so far,” Taehyung said.
Jimin nodded and set down his brush, leaning back against Taehyung’s dresser. “It definitely sounds the most plausible.”
Jungkook clapped his hands together and smiled widely, proud that he came up with the solution. “Operation: Keep Yoongi hyung away from Taetae hyung is afoot!”
The operation was going well.
Until it came time for Taehyung’s birthday spanks.
“It’s time!” Hoseok yelled suddenly in the middle of their game of Mario Kart. Jungkook sighed and paused the game before moving to get a chair out of Taehyung and Jimin’s kitchen. Namjoon walked out of the kitchen with the cake, and Jin followed behind him carrying candles and a lighter.
“Can we light the candles after the spanking?” Jimin asked, and Hoseok nodded solemnly.
Jungkook put the chair down in front of Taehyung, smiling tightly before walking away. Taehyung sighed and grabbed a pillow off the couch to sling over the back of the chair – he was going to be leaning over it for a while.
“Now is the time to commence the tradition!” Hoseok yelled, just like he did at every other birthday party. “Every year, on each person’s birthday, it is accepted that the birthday boy receive as many spanks as the age he be turning! Kim Taehyung, how many spanks will you have to endure today?”
“Twenty three!” Taehyung said.
“Twenty three!” Hoseok repeated. He motioned towards Namjoon, who started to drum roll on his thighs. Honestly, it was kind of scary how much they stuck to tradition. “This year, the Spanker will be decided on account of…” Taehyung held his breath. It couldn’t be hand size, because that had been Yoongi’s birthday, and it couldn’t be height, because that was Namjoon’s. They tried their best to make every requirement for spanking relate back to the birthday boy, so there should really be no way Yoongi got picked for Taehyung’s birthday.
“Skin tone!” Hoseok yelled, violently spinning a noise maker. Taehyung breathed a sigh of relief. After him, Namjoon had the darkest skin. Maybe he could use allowing Namjoon to spank him as repentance for accidentally knocking a Christmas tree over on him. “The lightest skin tone.”
“Wait, what?” Taehyung asked, standing up from the chair. Across the living room, Yoongi was frozen, staring at Hoseok with his mouth open and an icing-covered finger halfway between himself and the cake.
“Wait, what?” Yoongi echoed.
Hoseok made a knowing face and nodded a few times. “You heard me, the Spanker will be the person with the lightest skin tone. Roll up your sleeves, boys!”
“What’s the point? We all know Yoongi glows like his skin has never seen the sun,” Jin said.
Yoongi made an upset sound. “That’s not true!”
“Believe what you want, but you’re still the palest out of all of us,” Namjoon said. Taehyung shared a panicked look with both Jimin and Jungkook, but neither one of them seemed to know what to do.
Hoseok clapped his hands together, obviously happy with the selection. “Bend over, Taetae. Yoongi hyung, I hope you warmed up your arm!”
Taehyung was pretty sure he heard Yoongi mumble something along the lines of “Jesus Christ,” as he moved to stand behind Taehyung. He and Taehyung made brief eye contact before Taehyung was pushed to lean over the chair by a very insistent Hoseok.
“C’mon, we don’t have all day, I want cake.” So Taehyung bent over the back of chair and braced himself against the seat. He kept his eyes closed, because he was sure if he opened them he’d find both Jimin and Jungkook staring at him sympathetically, and he really did not need that.
The first smack came as a shock, and Taehyung made a startled sound. Behind him, Yoongi said, “sorry!” and gently rubbed his hand against Taehyung’s asscheek.
“Please don’t do that,” Taehyung said quietly. Yoongi immediately pulled his hand back, and Taehyung closed his eyes. He tried to completely zone out while Yoongi hit him, wondering why they have so many stupid traditions and why Hoseok seemed to be gunning for he and Yoongi to do gay shit to each other.
Eventually, Taehyung heard, “Tae? You can get up now.” And Taehyung opened his eyes to find Jimin shooting him a thumbs up and Jungkook mouthing nothing bad happened! As Taehyung peeled himself away from the chair, he realized that he may have not exploded anything with his mind, but he did have a problem.
“I gotta pee, cut the cake without me,” Taehyung said. He picked up the chair and walked with it until he was out of sight of all of his friends. Taehyung looked down at his pants.
“Jesus Christ.”
+ ONE: DECEMBER THIRTY FIRST, 2018
Taehyung still hadn’t quite recovered from the day before, but he was letting Jimin dress him up again anyways. Hoseok and Namjoon were throwing another party, apparently wilder than the one at Halloween, and it would be the understatement of the century to say that Taehyung was a little nervous.
The poor neighbor lady startled Taehyung that morning getting mail, and now Taehyung could hear her through their thin walls, wondering aloud when she’d eaten so many slugs.
“It’ll be fine,” Jimin said. He was dabbing lipstick on the middle of Taehyung’s bottom lip, completely at ease. “You know, if you just confessed to him, bad things would probably stop happening.”
Taehyung made a grumbly noise. “I don’t know how setting myself up for rejection will make unprecedented boners stop happening.”
Jimin bopped him on the head with his palm, frowning. “I wasn’t talking about your boner, stupid. I was talking about the exploding bottles, or the random fires. The only thing at this point that can stop your boners is your right hand.”
Taehyung pushed Jimin away from him, but he was laughing. It was true, after all. Jimin had stopped giving him friendly handjobs some time during their junior year when Jin thought they were dating. It was a sad time for Taehyung’s dick.
Leaning back against his chair, Taehyung asked, “so, how are Jungkook and Jin?”
Jimin turned bright red and looked away from him, and Taehyung grinned. He stuck out a foot and gently prodded at his best friend, trying to get him to talk. Eventually, Jimin swatted at Taehyung’s foot and said, “they’re fine. Leave me alone.”
“Aw, c’mon, Minnie! You guys are so cute, tell me all about it.” Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jimin’s middle and pulled him down to sit on his lap. Jimin hid his face in his hands, as Taehyung cooed in his ear.
“Jungkookie’s cute,” Jimin said eventually. He took his face out of his hands and smiled. “His Christmas present to me was a GCF, all these little clips he’s collected over the years and stuff. He was practically hyperventilating by the time it was over, he was so nervous.”
Taehyung nodded. Jungkook had always been the type to silently worry himself into a tizzy. “But he confessed?”
“Yeah, he looked like he was going to puke the whole time, though,” Jimin said wistfully. “Of course, when I told him about how Jin hyung and I were kind of together, he started apologizing over and over and he was like, trying not to cry and stuff. It honestly broke my heart. But we worked it out, and he’s willing to try going steady with the both of us. Jin’s been super careful to really coddle the shit out him, too. He whines but I think he loves the attention.”
“Of course,” Taehyung said. “The kid will accept compliments from anybody. He’s even more praise driven than you are, which is saying something.” Jimin scoffed and flicked Taehyung on the forehead.
“Come on,” Jimin said, standing up and straightening out his shirt. “We have to get to the party.” Taehyung nodded and stood up after him, giving himself a long look in the mirror. He was wearing an outfit Jimin picked out, and Jimin did his eye makeup heavier than he ever did before.
Taehyung just hoped he looked okay.
“Holy shit, Tae; you look hot!” Hoseok said as soon as he opened the door. Namjoon suddenly showed up behind him and whistled lowly when his eyes landed on Taehyung. Taehyung laughed a little awkwardly and shrugged off his coat. “Stop right there, mister – who said you could come to my party and look better than me?”
“Jimin picked it out,” Taehyung said immediately, pointing at his best friend. Jimin rolled his eyes and pushed past Taehyung, looking for one or both of his boyfriends. Hoseok grabbed Taehyung by the elbow and dragged him to the kitchen to get a drink.
Hoseok immediately started pouring things into a cup. “Okay, so you guys got here like, super late, so there’s only hour until the ball drops. That means we have to get you hammered enough in this hour that you can kiss a stranger at midnight.”
“Hyung–”
“Nope, no buts, Taehyung. Tonight’s your night, my friend. You’ll get your ass grabbed if I have to do it myself.”
Namjoon made an upset sound from his place by the microwave, and Hoseok blew him a kiss. Taehyung grabbed the drink when Hoseok handed it to him. It was a bright orange color, and the top was foamy, but Hoseok was staring at him so he had to try it.
“Actually, that doesn’t taste disgusting,” Taehyung said, taking another sip. Hoseok winked and flittered out of the kitchen, Namjoon hot on his heels.
Taehyung walked out of the kitchen and saw Jimin across the room, sitting against Jin with Jungkook in his lap. Jungkook caught his eye and Taehyung gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up.
Taehyung wandered around the party, sipping on the drink Hoseok gave him and searching for someone to talk to. Most everyone already had someone to talk to, or someone to grind on, and Taehyung found himself standing in the corner of Hoseok and Namjoon’s living room, watching.
“Hey,” Taehyung jumped, his drink sloshing in the cup, as he turned around to look at Yoongi.
“What have I told you, man. What did I say.”
Yoongi grinned and shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry. I just thought you looked lonely.”
Taehyung smiled, lifting his cup to his lips. Despite the butterflies Taehyung could feel festering in his stomach, he felt otherwise calm. His hands weren’t shaking and his heart didn’t feel like it would beat out of his chest at any moment. Fleetingly, Taehyung wondered what Hoseok put in his drink.
Yoongi pulled out his phone and made an interested noise. “Only five minutes until the ball drops.”
“Yeah?” Taehyung asked, biting the rim of his cup. God, what the fuck was he doing? Did he think this was flirting? Did Yoongi really care about his teeth? What did Hoseok put in his drink?
Yoongi bit his bottom lip to try and stop his smile. “Yeah.”
Taehyung nodded. “Found anybody halfway decent to kiss at midnight?” Looking back at this moment, Taehyung would ask what the hell he was doing and when he got so straight forward. In the moment, though, all Taehyung was thinking about was Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi, and how he wanted to kiss him so bad and how he was so tired of everything exploding when Yoongi so much as breathed in his general direction.
“No, not yet,” Yoongi admitted. Taehyung nodded again, chugging the last few sips of his drink. He set down his cup and crossed his arms over his chest, squeezing at his own biceps. The shirt Jimin put him in suddenly felt too revealing. “You look, um. You look good, by the way.”
Taehyung giggled, resting his head against the wall. “Thanks. You always look good.” Yoongi’s eyebrows raised comically, and Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek. Good God, why did he always have to be so embarrassing?
“Well, thank you,” Yoongi said. Suddenly the music shut off and the big television in Hoseok and Namjoon’s living room came to life.
Hoseok climbed on top of his coffee table and raised his cup in the air. “One minute, assholes!”
Suddenly, all air of Taehyung’s coolness was gone. He was pretty sure Yoongi was aiming to kiss him at midnight, but Taehyung wasn’t sure if that good could happen without something equally as dreadful happening. The people around them started chanting the count down, and Taehyung frantically pulled on Yoongi’s shirt sleeve.
“Tae? You alright? You look sick–”
“Yoongi hyung, please listen to me for a moment,” Taehyung said, breathing hard. Yoongi looked at him, eyebrows furrowed, and brought a hand up to feel Taehyung’s forehead.
“You’re sweaty, too, Tae–”
“Twenty! Nineteen–!”
“Let’s get you some fresh air–”
“It’s my fault!” Taehyung yelled, grabbing Yoongi’s prodding hands. Yoongi stopped and stared at him, and Taehyung rushed to get out what he wanted to say before the countdown ended. “It’s my fault things caught fire at your birthday, and why that girl’s final project was ruined, and why the glasses shattered at Halloween, and why the tree fell on Joonie hyung.”
Yoongi made a confused face. “Taehyung, how could you possibly–”
“I’m a witch!”
(“Ten! Nine!”)
“I’m a witch, and when I get really nervous, bad things happen because I can’t control my magic. And– and I can also pour milk with my mind and shatter things, apparently, and, and–”
“Taetae, calm down, you’re going to give yourself a panic attack,” Yoongi said, gently holding the sides of Taehyung’s face.
Taehyung pressed on, completely ignoring the feeling of Yoongi trying to ground him. “And I like you so, so, much and every time you get close to me it feels like I’m gonna explode! And I want to kiss you so bad but I’m afraid of what might happen to Hobi and Joonie hyung’s pretty house, and–”
Three things happened at once:
- The people chanting successfully reached zero on the countdown.
- Yoongi pulled Taehyung down and kissed him hard on the mouth.
- The television made a loud popping noise and the house went completely dark.
The house erupted into quiet exaltations of “what the fuck,” and “who shut off the lights?” and two quiet voices asked, “Taehyung?”
In the corner of the room, Yoongi had ahold of Taehyung’s face, still kissing him despite the hubbub. Taehyung’s hands were hanging uselessly by his sides, and Yoongi moved one of his hands off the side of Taehyung face to grab his arm and curl it around his own waist. Taehyung pulled Yoongi closer and wrapped his other arm around his neck to make sure he couldn’t back away.
Distantly, on the other side of the living room, a voice called, “Yoongi hyung? Where’s Yoongi hyung? He can fix anything.” But neither of the boys in the corner of the room seemed to hear him. Yoongi broke the kiss for a moment to breathe, but Taehyung immediately chased his mouth, and Yoongi hardly took a full breath before Taehyung covered his mouth again.
“I think he’s over here, Hobi hyung,” another, lighter voice said. In any other moment, Taehyung’s brain would have registered that his best friend is within ten feet of him, but Yoongi reached down and grabbed his ass with his big hand, and Taehyung’s brain turned to mush.
A few feet away, that same voice choked on a gasp. “Holy shit!” Jimin yelled, pointing at his two friends. “They finally did it! They’re doing it!”
“No sex in the living room!” Hoseok yelled, pushing through the crowd. When he saw Yoongi and Taehyung in the corner, he stopped in his tracks and started clapping. “Sex in the living room is perfectly fine! I’ll get you two kids a blanket!”
Yoongi pulled back again and Taehyung made an upset sound. Yoongi looked over at Hoseok. “Hobi, please shut up.”
“How can I shut up? I’ve been trying to get you two together since March!” Hoseok yelled. Taehyung noticed he was holding his phone out to use as a light and made a confused face. “There was a power surge or something. Everything went dead right at midnight.”
Taehyung turned to Yoongi and smacked him in the chest. “I told you!”
Yoongi grinned at him, a little lopsided. “Yes, yes you did.” He stared at Taehyung for another moment before turning to Hoseok. “Go to the basement and flip the breaker, yeah? That should turn the–”
“Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung said quietly. “How about we go to the basement and flip the breaker?”
“It’s his house, Tae, why do we have to do the work?” Yoongi asked, looking disgruntled.
Jimin slung an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders. “Yes, Hobi hyung, why don’t you go down to the empty basement and flip the breaker all alone. The breaker in the empty basement where you’d be alone–”
“Okay, okay, I got it. Jesus,” Yoongi grabbed Taehyung’s hand and started dragging him away from their friends. Jimin winked, and Taehyung followed after Yoongi with a blush on his cheeks.
As they walked down the steps, Taehyung heard Hoseok yell after them,
“Flip his breaker, Yoongi hyung! Flip it!”