Archive of Our Own

Kevin watched the lions sing on the round, flickering screen of Mafala Hatimbi’s television. As he did, he pondered to himself how Uganda could have turned out so wrong and yet so right. He had lost most of his pride, and on top of that, his family’s pride. But at the same time, he had gained Arnold and Nabulungi, two of his best friends in the whole world. Kevin could honestly say there was nowhere he would rather be at that moment than a sweltering town plagued with lions and eyeball-biting flies and scorpions the size of a tennis racket.

Turning his head to share these late-night revelations with his two friends, he found them passionately making out. Again. Sighing, he watched the rest of The Lion King play out through his jaded eyes. And Kevin didn’t wish for something better than what he had, because he knew his mind wouldn’t be able to conjure up an image more pleasing than the casual pleasure of a movie night in good company. As good as Arnold’s gasp when Nabulungi pressed herself against him even harder was, anyway.

---

Once Kevin had finally managed to pry Arnold from Nabulungi, they said their goodbyes to the Hatimbi household and began their walk home (late). “Elder McKinley will be worried,” Arnold said.

“So now you’re considering other people’s feelings?” Kevin asked, because he had a strict schedule of late-night Disney movies and coffee at one in the morning, goddamnit, and Arnold seemed to have no respect for it.

“Just saying,” Arnold replied. “He’s always worried about you.”

Kevin felt his cheeks heat up. “He’s worried about both of us. It wouldn’t due to have our new prophet eaten by lions, now, would it?” he asked, forcing himself to smile and nudge Arnold jokingly.

“I guess not.” Arnold frowned. “But I wonder why he does that.”

Kevin was used to Arnold not bothering to elaborate on his thoughts by then, so he said, “Does what, Arnold?”

“Gets all nervous around you, and asks if you’re okay all the time. He never does it with anyone else.”

“Oh, yeah?” Kevin challenged. “I’m gonna need some proof if you wanna make weird claims like that.”

Arnold shrugged and thought for a moment. Then he smiled and shoulder-bumped Kevin, saying, “Just see for yourself when we get home. He’s all over you.”

Kevin scowled at Arnold for a moment, embarrassed, but then slyly grinned. “Just like how you were all over Nabulungi earlier?”

It was Arnold’s turn to be embarrassed. “Were we really that bad?” He asked, to which Kevin nodded gravely.

“I never won’t have you guys’ makeout sounds as the background track for that movie ever again,” he said. “I have been scarred for life.”

“Scarred? Like The Lion King?” Arnold asked, and they both burst out laughing.

“That was the worst, Arnold,” Kevin said, even though he was chuckling, too.

They approached the mission hut and knocked on the door, still smiling at each other like idiots. There was a time when Kevin would have tried to remain stoic around his peers at all costs, but Arnold had stolen that trait about him away, and he was more grateful than he ever had been to anyone before Uganda came along.

After the second knock, McKinley swung the door open, pulling them both inside with a relieved look. “Elders, we’re so glad you got home safely! You know about the dangers of traveling at night, and I was-- I mean, we were worried you two had gotten into some trouble.”

McKinley was giving them a close inspection as he talked, probably checking for some form of cut or bruise. As his eyes moved over Kevin and Arnold’s figures, Kevin couldn’t help but notice his district leader in turn. McKinley had bags under his tired blue eyes and a crease in his brow which never seemed to smooth anymore, but even so, the man was gorgeous to Kevin. Kevin began to grow hot under McKinley’s watchful gaze, almost wishing those eyes were full of something entirely different from worry.

Unfortunately, it seemed McKinley noticed the heat pooling in his cheeks, because he said, “You look a little red, Elder Price,” and stepped forward until they were mere inches apart, pressing his hand firmly against Kevin’s head.

Shocked and a little bit flushed in the face of McKinley’s innocent, very close blue eyes, Kevin stumbled backwards into Arnold. “I, um, I need to get ready for bed. Excuse me.”

With that, Kevin made his getaway, spinning towards the hallway and almost crashing into Michaels in his haste to retreat.

He left behind a confused Elder McKinley and an amused Elder Cunningham, both of whom watched him until he slammed the door to the bathroom shut. “Was it something I said?” Asked McKinley fretfully, to which Cunningham giggled.

“I’m sure he was just a little confused, Elder McKinley,” Cunningham said before taking his leave after Kevin.

McKinley was left without a single clue what on earth had just happened and an inkling that Elder Price was hiding something.

Meanwhile, Kevin was pressed against the back of the bathroom door, fingers pressed against his forehead in disbelief. He was reconsidering that whole “nowhere he would rather be” thing from earlier. Kevin was planning a nice, cold shower for himself. In fact, maybe he would just stay in forever.

---

Of course Arnold was waiting for him when he got back, a playful grin placed firmly on his face. “What did I tell you? Was he all over you or what?” He asked, nudging Kevin in the side.

Kevin collapsed on his bed as soon as he reached it, sighing wearily. A long pause. And, “Arnold, how did you feel earlier tonight, back when you were… you know, with Nabulungi?” Kevin’s question was muffled by the pillow his face was planted on, strategically placed to hide the true extent his curiosity.

Arnold didn’t know how that was related, so he said, “When we were making out?”

A low groan. “Yes, Arnold,” Kevin said, still hiding under the heat of his pillow.

“My whole body felt like it was on fire. She’s a special girl, Kevin.” Arnold was looking down with a reminiscing smile on his face.

“Why, planning on finding yourself a girlfriend like me?” Arnold asked teasingly, eliciting a low whine of protest from Kevin, who drew himself in until he resembled a cat curled up on its master’s bed. Kevin had never known attraction—but he had the feeling Elder McKinley had thrown that out the window.

Arnold, interpreting Kevin’s bad mood as skepticism in his own girl-finding abilities, said, “Aw, don’t worry, buddy, I’m sure a great guy like you could get a girl in ten seconds flat!”

Kevin only responded with a, “Good night, Arnold.”

Arnold raised his hands placatingly even though Kevin couldn’t see them and said, “Nighty night,” flicking off the lights.

Arnold’s mind seemed to have other plans, though. His thoughts kept replaying their conversation. What if seeing him and Nepotism together made Kevin sad because he wanted a girlfriend, too? Arnold could relate. Back in his high school days, he had desperately wanted to fit in and get the attention of girls he found attractive. None were as stunning as Nosferatu, of course, but that was besides the point. Wait...

Maybe he could ask Norimaki to get his best friend to open up! She would doubtless be better at it than he was, all weaknesses recognized, and she was so pretty, and smart, and… Well, anyway. Arnold resolved to get Numerator to talk to Kevin, get him to admit his problems, and possibly even help him find a girlfriend! One without AIDS, of course, though they came in rarity these days, as much as Arnold hated to admit it.

As Arnold’s mind whirred out of control, Kevin laid in the next bed over with both hands pressed flush against his forehead, silently panicking.

---

“Are you absolutely sure you aren’t sick, Elder Price? You look ill to me.”

McKinley’s words were true, the missionaries reflected as each one drew separate conclusions about Kevin’s pale face and baggy eyes. “I’m fine, Elder McKinley,” he said with an exhausted yawn which said otherwise.

Of course, Arnold knew just what was going on with his buddy. It didn’t matter that he had inferred it, so long as it was true. He decided to give Elder McKinley a briefing of the situation, since he was the district leader and all. Definitely not because Arnold was dying to tell someone the information he had gleaned last night. But still.

“Elder McKinley, may I talk to you for a second? Alone?”

Kevin raised his head to look between the two curiously as soon as Arnold spoke McKinley’s name.

McKinley rose with a polite smile and said, “Of course, Elder Cunningham. Elders, in case this takes a while, the chore board outlines your jobs for today.”

Smiling at the chorus of groans from the Elders, McKinley led Cunningham away from the group of disgruntled young men. He most certainly did not lock eyes with a set of tired brown eyes which slid away as soon as they met Elder McKinley’s. No, that would mean he was attached. That would be silly.

---

Once McKinley was seated in his office chair and Arnold was nervously fidgeting with the collar of his shirt, he shifted awkwardly and asked, “So, what’s up?”

Arnold met his eyes when he said, “I think I know why Kevin’s been acting weird.”

McKinley leaned forward in interest. “Oh? Out with it, then,” he urged.

“It’s ‘cause he’s jealous of Necromancy and I,” Arnold explained.

McKinley flinched at the mispronunciation, but chose not to correct it. “What do you mean?” He asked, his tone betraying his impatience.

“I think he wants a girlfriend,” Arnold confessed, looking at McKinley with earnest eyes.

McKinley just stared at Arnold, unseeing, until he turned away, an expression on his face Arnold couldn’t quite decipher, but was definitely far from pleased.

“Oh,” he said, looking intently at a peeling piece of wallpaper. “I… had no idea.”

“Right?” Arnold agreed, enthused, “I didn’t expect it either until he kept asking about me and Narcolepsy and then wouldn’t answer when I asked him if he wanted a girlfriend, too!”

“That does sound like he’s jealous,” McKinley muttered, more to himself than anyone.

Then he seemed to come to a decision, because the negative emotions seemed to disappear from his face and he straightened up, giving Arnold a tight smile. “I’m glad you brought this to my attention, Elder Cunningham. I’ll be sure to take this information into consideration in the future. You may show yourself out.”

Arnold stood to take his leave. When he looked back, though, he thought he caught a glimpse of Elder McKinley, frowning at his desk and twisting his hands frustratedly in his hair. But it must have just been his imagination.

---

Kevin had noticed a change in McKinley lately. Something about the way he would look at him was harder, more polite and less sincere. He would pause when he met Kevin’s eyes and make an excuse to leave the room. Every single time.

He was eating breakfast one day (soggy lumps of oatmeal) when McKinley addressed him out of the blue. “Elder Price,” he said, his voice hard, “I would like to see you in my office after breakfast.” With that, he paced out of the room, not even waiting for an answer.

Kevin wasn’t about to miss an opportunity to finally face McKinley after many dreary days of borderline angry looks from the man, so he gulped the rest of his food down eagerly and stood to follow McKinley to his office.

Before he could put his bowl away, though, the soft-spoken Elder Poptarts said, “I wouldn’t be so excited.”

Kevin cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Poptarts leaned towards him and said, almost in a whisper, “I can tell Elder McKinley is angry with you. For almost a week now.”

“I’m sure I can handle it, whatever his reason,” Kevin reassured the shorter boy, patting him on the shoulder.

Kevin wasn’t about to let anyone stop him from getting to the bottom of why McKinley seems to hate him all of a sudden. Even McKinley himself. Especially him.

---

“Have a seat, Elder,” McKinley said and gestured to the empty space in front of his desk.

Kevin was off-put by his expression. McKinley was looking at him flatly, none of the joy or even forced politeness in his usual expression present. His chin was resting on his hands as he trailed Kevin with his eyes. Underneath, though, Kevin could feel the tension. It was in his shoulders, the way they were tensed under his shirt, the almost nonexistent tremor in his hands. Elder McKinley was angry.

“Why did you want to talk with me, Elder McKinley?” Kevin asked, honestly having no idea what he’d done wrong and wondering how much he could have messed up to make McKinley wear such a stony expression.

“I’ve noticed a… shall we say, dip in your performance lately, Elder Price,” he said. “You’ve been slacking off, looking for ways to— to entertain yourself.”

“Like how?” Kevin asked, baffled. He hadn’t broken any rules lately, and he practically clung to Arnold, helping him preach new stories and fix pipes and find new recruits… What was McKinley’s problem?

“Well, it’s come to my attention that you’ve been thinking about violating rule seventy-eight; do not date,” he said.

Kevin knew he should just tell McKinley outright that he had it all wrong, and that the thought of dating anyone had never even crossed his mind. (Even if he couldn’t help but notice certain inappropriate attributes about his district leader, like how would he look in—nevermind.)

What came out of his mouth instead was, “But Arnold does? You don’t call him a slacker for it.”

Great. Now Elder McKinley thought he really did want to be in a relationship. Oh god, did he think Kevin was desperate? He really hoped not.

Elder McKinley had started to openly glare at Kevin, which, well, that wasn’t good. “He’s our prophet, Elder Price. That’s different.”

“Look,” Kevin said, because he was still a huge idiot with a love of confrontation, “I will date who I want, when I want, and you’re not gonna stop me.”

McKinley started positively fuming when he said that, and wow, Kevin was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. Sure, McKinley was adorable when he was smiling or worried or pouting, but this… This was almost too much. Kevin felt his anger start to recede, replaced by the burning pleasure of arousal.

“Kevin Price, I swear to God Almighty you will not be dating one of those poor Africans. Most of them have AIDS! For God’s sake, we’re missionaries!” McKinley yelled, slamming one hand down on the table to punctuate his point.

Kevin jumped, his eyes which had been fixed on the other man’s lips snapping up to see blue eyes staring at him sharply, watching his every move yet somehow not seeing the way Kevin was sure his blood was rushing to his cheeks, his eyes blown wide, his knuckles turning white from holding too hard to the table. He was sure McKinley could hear the pounding of his heart, could sense how irrevocably attached he had become to his district leader and was punishing him in a way very different from his hell dreams. But this was better. This was real.

“El—Elder McKinley, I have to—I have to go. Now. I—I’ll be sure to take your advice into consideration,” Kevin said, stumbling over words and too distracted by the thought of his district leader’s fingers running through his hair to pay attention.

Elder McKinley stared at Kevin for a few heated moments before he finally waved him away. “As long as you understand, you can go,” he said, crossing his arms like a child, and Kevin watched the beads of sweat running down McKinley’s pale face right up until he nodded curtly and left the room, slamming the door as he strode away.

---

Nabulungi was confused by Arnold’s request. “Talk to him, find out if there’s anyone he likes,” Arnold had said, repressed excitement on his features. She would gladly do anything for Arnold, but she wondered why he had thought of it in the first place. She had never thought Kevin was much of a romantic, after all. He was nothing like Arnold, who showered her in attention and babbled on about the kinds of things he would do with her if they were in America. No, Kevin seemed the type to keep to himself, to hide it even if he was interested in anyone.

So when Kevin came knocking on her door as per her request to see him (sent by text), sporting an American smile and a polite wave, she swept open the door and waved him in. “You said there was something you wanted to talk about, Nabulungi?” Kevin asked.

“Yes, over some of Baba’s tea and fried tarantula,” she said, eager to be a “good host,” as her father had called it.

“Oh, no, that’s really okay,” Kevin said, paling a little.

“I insist,” she said, and sat down, pushing him down on the chair across from her and sliding him the plate of Ugandan delicacies.

Kevin began sipping away at the tea, so Nabulungi figured it was time to begin probing. “So, as you know, Arnold and I have been in a very happy relationship for the last few months,” she began.

Kevin snorted and rolled his eyes. “You don’t say? I hadn’t noticed,” he replied, getting a half-hearted glare in response.

“Don’t you try that with me, white boy.” Nabulungi decided to take the understanding route and said, “I know you’ve been struggling with some romantic feelings yourself.”

Nabulungi was a little surprised, she had to admit, when Kevin’s entire body jumped and he recoiled, staring at her wide eyed. “How did you know?” He asked, fast and faint. He looked ready to run at any moment.

Nabulungi knew she couldn’t take back her words now, so she said, “Please. It’s obvious.”

Kevin looked down, then. Nabulungi thought she saw his face turn red, but it might have just been the shadows. “Do you think he knows, too?” He asked, voice tight and small like a child’s.

“Arnold?” She guessed, wondering why Kevin wouldn’t have told him.

“No, Elder McKinley!” He hissed, looking up at her and, wow, Nabulungi hadn’t expected him to care this much. He was beet red.

“That must have been why he was so mad at me, he knows I like him,” he muttered, so quietly Nabulungi had to strain to hear him. His eyes were darting from left to right, thinking rapidly.

Wait. Arnold asked because Kevin Price, come straight from paradise, liked McKinley? The pasty one? And more importantly, in a romantic sense? Nabulungi had heard of the nasty rumors which spread about men who liked each other like that. It was her first time knowingly coming into contact with such a person, though. That might have explained the jumpiness Kevin seemed to exhibit whenever a young woman touched him playfully, flirtatiously. He would shy away and leave with a conflicted look on his face instead of leaning into the embrace.

Now Nabulungi knew why. “Just tell him your feelings, Kevin,” she encouraged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Kevin looked at her like she was crazy. “Are you crazy? He already looks like he wants to kill me,” he said, a self-deprecating smile sliding in place.

That wouldn’t be good. “What are you planning on doing, then? Just waiting until you have to say goodbye?” She asked.

“If I have to.” Kevin suddenly gained a manic look in his eye. He met her eyes and said seriously, “Listen. You absolutely can’t mention anything about this to him. He doesn’t hate me yet, and I plan on keeping it that way.”

Nabulungi nodded. “I won’t tell him for you. I know that’s your job,” she said, prompting a panicked look from Kevin which she answered with a grin.

With one last significant look sent her direction, Kevin stood up and said, “I guess I should be taking my leave.”

“Oh, but you haven’t touched your food--”

“See you, Nabulungi! Good talk!” he said, practically slamming the door in his haste to retreat. Confused, Nabulungi bit down on a fried tarantula leg. “Mmm.”

---

“So?” Arnold prompted the moment he saw Nabulungi.

She grinned. “I’m not sure if I should tell you,” she sang with a teasing grin, poking his nose with her finger.

“Oh, come on,” Arnold whined, “I’m the one who asked in the first place!”

Nabulungi relented. “Okay. I know who he likes.”

“And?” Arnold asked, eyes growing comically wide, “Who is it?”

“It’s the leader of the Elders, Elder McKinley,” she said, taking great joy in this revelation at Kevin’s expense.

Arnold was stunned speechless for a moment, mouth hanging open. “You’ll catch flies,” Nabulungi warned, and he closed it.

“You mean,” Arnold gulped, “My best friend is gay for Elder McKinley and I didn’t even know it?”

Nabulungi nodded, unable to resist giggling a little.

“Oh man. Okay, Nostalgia, gotta run,” Arnold said, giving Nabulungi a peck on the cheek, to which she giggled even more, before running off to do whatever it is Arnold does.

Nabulungi waved until he was out of sight, grinning all the while.

---

“Kevin! Hey, Keeeviiiin!” Arnold burst through the doors to the mission hut, calling for his friend as he did.

He didn’t stop even when he saw Elder McKinley, whom he gave a wide-eyed stare before bumping into Kevin. Geez, the man was tall. “Kevin! I had no idea you were in love with-- mmph!”

Kevin swiftly covered his mouth before he could get the man’s name out and looked around to see who heard. Oh, right. Elder McKinley was still in the room. In fact, Elder McKinley was staring at Kevin, looking equal parts flustered, surprised, and angry. He turned on his heel and marched out of the room.

Turning back to Kevin, who still had his hand on Arnold’s mouth, he saw Kevin staring after McKinley’s retreating figure. “Buddy? Sorry ‘bout that,” he said, and Kevin snapped around to face him again.

Arnold laughed nervously. Kevin stared at him sharply for a moment, then just sighed and said, “Fuck. God only knows what he thinks of me now.” He seemed to pause and consider something before looking suspiciously at Arnold. “Wait… Did Nabulungi tell you?” he asked, gesturing vaguely in McKinley’s direction.

“Yeah,” Arnold replied, feeling embarrassed. What kind of best friend has to find out about his best friend’s secrets from his own girlfriend?

Kevin sighed again. “Y’know, it’s not all bad,” Arnold said, “He seemed pretty mad just a second ago.”

“Probably because he knows the person I like is him! Of course he’d be mad!” Kevin said, his voice strained like it was near its breaking point.

After a second, though, he seemed to deflate. “I know it’s not your fault, buddy,” Kevin said, “he was bound to find out sooner or later.”

Arnold gave him a pat on the back. “At least you don’t have to hide it anymore!” he reassured.

Kevin gave him a smile, albeit a sad one, and flopped back on their stuffy, green couch. “Just-- I need some time to think. Alone.”

Arnold nodded and left to brush his teeth, wondering how much of this was his fault.

---

“I hate him.”

Poptarts sighed, already knowing who Elder McKinley was talking about.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, crawling over to McKinley’s side of their shared room and making himself at home on his bed.

McKinley was sitting with his knees folded up to his chest and his hands wrapped around them. His face was miserable, his hair was disheveled from his hands running through it too much, and his eyes were glassy. “Of course not,” he answered.

“I don’t think he hates you,” Poptarts offered.

McKinley only threw his head back and groaned. “That’s what makes this so difficult!” he whined, “If only he hated me! I don’t know, sometimes I think maybe he’s just scared of me, sometimes we talk and joke, sometimes we’re like strangers…” McKinley trailed off, lost in thought.

“Sometimes, for just a second, I think he feels the same way.”

The silence in the room was deafening. Finally, Poptarts spoke. “Maybe he does.”

“Don’t give me false hope like that, Thomas. It’s bad for my health,” McKinley said, massaging his shoulder.

“No, Elder Price is bad for your health,” Poptarts joked.

McKinley laughed quietly, but genuinely nonetheless. “Earlier, I heard Prophet Cunningham say Kevin’s in love with someone, probably a village girl. Do you think it’s true?”

“No. If he liked girls, wouldn’t he have tried to win over Nabulungi?”

Elder McKinley yawned and said, “There are preferences.”

“Then why doesn’t he have a girlfriend waiting for him back home?” Poptarts shot back, “You told me he’s attractive yourself.”

McKinley blushed and said, “I don’t know, Thomas, maybe he was waiting for the right person to come along. Look, we’re not debating Elder Price’s sexuality when he’s two rooms over. I’m going to sleep.”

With that, the redhead turned to face away from Poptarts, who sighed and returned to his own bed. “Good luck tonight, Elder McKinley,” he said, as was customary ever since he found out about the other man’s hell dreams.

“Good night to you, too, Elder,” came the muffled reply.

---

Elder Cunningham sat waiting late into the night for his mission companion. Worried he’d said the wrong thing. Revealed too much.

Kevin never went to bed that night.

---

Three cups. That was the amount of coffee Kevin had consumed, and he was reaching for another refill before he realized he wasn’t even done with the last cup yet. Maybe he was being childish, sleeping on a couch when there was a perfectly good bed down the hall with nobody to occupy it, but he couldn’t get one thought out of his head.

As usual, these days, it revolved around Elder McKinley.

Kevin’s face burned when he thought of him, and surely that wasn’t normal. To imagine McKinley push him down viciously, his hair mussed and sweaty with passion instead of heat, his freckles hidden by blushing cheeks, his eyes confident, even haughty, and fixed on him and nothing else, no-one else. Pale skin, warm to the touch; freckles covering the wide expanse of his neck, collarbone, chest.

Kevin felt his heartbeat speed up. There was panic welling up in his gut because he couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this, immense guilty pleasure overtaking his logical side, the side of him which still remembered that he was in Uganda.

He tossed and turned on the couch until he managed to tamper down on the filthy thoughts rooted in his head. What would McKinley think of him for this? McKinley knew already, Kevin thought, he had surely figured it out when Arnold almost confessed Kevin’s sins. Who else could it be? McKinley wouldn’t believe Kevin was in love with anyone except--wait.

What if he told McKinley he was in love with Arnold? They were always at each other’s side, surely he could convince his district leader.

With that, Kevin gave in to sleep, his mind full of thoughts of Elder McKinley and the lie he was about to tell.

---

“Goodness, Elder Price, you scared me!”

Those were the words Kevin woke up to. He jumped awake, losing his balance and rolling off the couch. He was greeted to the sight of an apologetic Elder McKinley upside down.

“Jesus, Elder,” he said, repositioning himself on the couch while McKinley looked at him with big, sorry eyes.

“Elder Price, I didn’t mean to wake you so early, I just, I was coming to prepare breakfast--”

“Elder, it’s fine,” Kevin interrupted, “I got plenty of sleep.”

He hadn’t, but McKinley didn’t need to know that. “Oh, good,” breathed Elder McKinley, looking relieved.

Suddenly, the thought struck Kevin. Now was the time to tell him, when nobody else was around to hear. He would resolve the issue and be done with it. “Elder McKinley?” he asked.

“Yes, Elder?”

“I bet you’re wondering why I slept here,” Kevin said, pointing to the squeaky couch.

“I assumed you had a hell dream, Elder,” said McKinley, noticing for the first time the heavy bags under Kevin’s eyes. He looked exhausted.

“Well, see, that’s not quite it. I was just… confused.”

“What do you mean, Elder?”

Kevin took a deep breath. This was it. “I’ve been having… gay thoughts… about Arnold, so it was weird to sleep next to him.” The awkwardness in his voice wasn’t feigned.

McKinley froze, his icy blue eyes staring straight through Kevin. Then he turned so Kevin couldn’t see his face. There was a slight tremor in his shoulders. “I had no idea,” he said, voice hollow.

Kevin had a sinking feeling he had just made a big mistake. “Yeah. So, I slept down here to think.”

“Prophet Cunningham has Nabulungi. I doubt you plan on interfering,” said McKinley.

“I can’t help it, Elder,” Kevin said, thinking of his feelings for the redhead in front of him.

“Then make it happen, Elder. Get over it. You know what happens to people like--like that, here!” Elder McKinley said, his voice shrill and frightened at the end.

He was looking at Kevin now, as if seeing him in a new light. He looked scared, if not for himself, then for Kevin. And as grateful as Kevin was, he knew he couldn’t take his district leader’s advice. Not when it came out of those lips.

Eventually, McKinley seemed to collapse in on himself, his face becoming the picture of despair and his arms hanging loosely by his sides. “I’m sorry, Elder, for exploding like that. I hope you can figure things out.”

With that, the man turned and walked away, leaving Kevin confused and upset. He didn’t see the tears welling up in McKinley’s eyes, nor did he see how he struggled to stir oatmeal and brush his silent tears away at the same time.

All Kevin saw was the shell of a man he yearned to fix.

---

McKinley spent the day avoiding Kevin, which wasn’t hard to do when he scheduled job duties for the day.

Kevin, meanwhile, spent his day sulking and accidentally smacking the carrots he pulled out of the ground on his face. Damn Elder McKinley knew he hated this job most. The worst part was that Kevin had no idea why McKinley was still avoiding him, even after Kevin told him he had a crush on Arnold. Was it that unbelievable?

That evening, Kevin curled up on his bed, thinking. Arnold seemed glad to see him back. At least someone was happy.

Long after Arnold had fallen asleep, Kevin lay awake, staring at the starry night sky from the tiny window and wondering, wondering, wondering.

Eventually, he got sick of listening to the countless voices in his head paired with Arnold’s ear-piercing snoring and wandered into the kitchen. Just as he was giving in to his baser instincts and grabbing a mug from the cabinet, he heard a loud shriek coming from one of the bedrooms. He dropped the cup, shattering it, but he was already running to find the source of the sound before it touched the ground.

He heard the muffled sound of voices. “Elder McKinley… okay? Did you… dream again?”

Kevin pressed his ear to the door, wincing at the coolness. “I’m fine, Thomas, it was nothing.” Elder McKinley.

He heard Poptarts reply, “It didn’t sound like nothing. What’s got you so worked up?”

A pause.

“Just--it was about him again.”

Him? “Ah. What did he do?”

“He--he tied me up and touched me… I didn’t… then, then he said I was as worthless as dirt and pushed me down, and then…” McKinley’s teary voice cracked and he broke into sobs.

Kevin felt awful. He wished fate hadn’t been so cruel to give McKinley so much… sadness, guilt, whatever it was that caused the hell dreams. He didn’t deserve any of the grief they gave him.

“I know. I’m sorry,” came the gentle voice of Poptarts.

“Thomas, he loves--he’s in love with Elder Cunningham--”

Kevin didn’t hear the rest. It felt like his heart had run out of oxygen and just decided to stop beating altogether. He was the cause of McKinley’s hell dreams? The reason he suffered at night? And the reason McKinley was crying his eyes out?

“--but I love him.”

Kevin felt like he was dreaming, or dying, or maybe just coming out of a coma. Either way, he couldn’t take it anymore. He opened the door.

Both heads snapped to him as he stepped into the room quietly, slowly, cautiously. “Why are you here?” McKinley sneered, then, “I thought you wanted to be with Cunningham.”

The effect was lessened by his wet eyes and shuddering breaths. Kevin let out an inhuman whine. “Listen, Elder. I--when I told you I liked Arnold, I lied.”

McKinley stared at him. “You lied?” he asked, eyes blank.

“Yes,” Kevin said, “I lied. I wanted you to like me, so I--I lied. Because I didn’t want you to know… I was scared to tell you that I love you. I love you, Elder McKinley.”

Slowly, Elder McKinley stood up from the bed and walked over to Kevin. He raised his hand, poised to slap him. Kevin felt himself flinch instinctively, but he couldn’t move away. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to.

And then McKinley crushed him in a hug.

Voice emotional and muffled from Kevin’s shoulder, he said, “I hate you, Kevin Price. I hate you so much.”

Kevin was shocked solid, stiff even as his body was flooded with warmth from McKinley’s touch. Slowly, he looked down at the shorter man, holding onto him like his life depended on it. And then he smiled, laughed, and said, “I find that hard to believe.”

McKinley pulled back at that and took Kevin’s face in his hands, surprising him yet again. McKinley gave him a hard look, verging on playful. “You don’t know what you put me through.”

Kevin’s eyes slipped to the floor. “I know.”

And suddenly, McKinley was kissing him. Like oxygen meant nothing and kissing him, him, was giving McKinley the strength to go on. Kevin felt himself respond immediately.

This was so much better than Planet Orlando, any hopes for the future, any doubt, any guilty pleasure, any pride he would have sacrificed for this, anything. McKinley held him and shifted against him, threading his fingers through Kevin’s hair as their mouths moved to create sweet friction.

It ended when McKinley moved back slightly, his face still so tantalizingly close to Kevin, his freckles and eyes and hair and everything within reach. Breathlessly, McKinley said, “Connor.”

“Huh?” Kevin asked, almost whined, still winded himself.

“That’s my first name,” said Connor McKinley, smiling indulgently. “You’re not supposed to know that.”

“We’re not supposed to do this, either,” said Kevin and dived into another kiss, to which Connor eagerly returned.

They kissed slowly, enjoying the intimacy, for a long time. Connor pulled back suddenly as if just realizing something, looking around the room. “Kevin?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Where did Poptarts go?”

Kevin shrugged. “Not sure. It would have been embarrassing if he’d seen the whole thing, though.”

Connor giggled. “Yeah, we were really going at it,” he said.

Elder Poptarts chose that moment to enter the room, biting off the edge of one of his aforementioned poptarts. He said, “Oh, you guys didn’t have sex yet? I was sure, at the rate you were going--”

“Thomas!” Connor interrupted, scandalized. Kevin felt his own face go red, even as he watched Connor blush darkly.

“I have to go to my room!” He shouted, rushing back to his own room and slamming the door shut with his chest heaving. Oh, what a night.

When Kevin told Arnold about it the next day, his laughs could be heard echoing throughout the building.