Work Text:
Larry raced up the stairs. “Hey! Give me the tablet!”
“Stay back!” Lancelot snarled, whirling around. “Stay back. Stand back!”
Larry blinked in surprise as the others filed onto the rooftop behind him. “Whoa!”
“What?” Lancelot demanded.
“Your nose, it's...,” Larry cleared his throat as he looked for the right words.
“What about my nose?”
“Your nose is dripping.”
“What?”
“It's melting.” Larry gestured to the torch. “From the fire.”
Lancelot screamed and dunked the torch in a nearby bucket of water before quickly composing himself. “How bad is it?”
Larry raised an eyebrow. “It’s not great.”
“But I'm Lancelot!” the knight screeched.
Larry snapped as he noticed the tablet start to hum. “There never was a Lancelot! Lancelot is a legend. You're not real.”
“I don't understand!” Lancelot cried.
“I know,” Larry said, “it's a lot to take in, but please, just give me the tablet.”
“Oh, and then what? Back to the museum? Stand there as little children ogle and point?”
“And learn.” Teddy stepped forward, stiff and obviously in some sort of pain. “And get inspired to do great things. There are far less noble fates, my friend.”
Lancelot shook his head. “Not for me, there aren't!” He trembled. “If there is no Camelot... there is no Guinevere and no Lancelot... then I'm nothing. I'm just a sad lump of misshapen wax. Stop looking at my nose!” He snapped.
Larry blinked and tried to look away. “I wasn't looking at it.”
Lancelot scowled and pointed accusingly. “You were, I saw you. You were like this – ʺ he craned his neck in a passable imitation " – ‘hmm, hmm’. Staring!”
“I wasn't like that.”
“You were! Don't look at it!”
“It really is hard not to look at,” Jedediah mumbled from Attila’s hat.
“Yes, he is,” Octavius sighed.
“I didn't,” Larry insisted.
“I saw you!” Lancelot looked a second from drawing his sword.
“No, I'm looking at your eyes.”
Lancelot pointed to Dexter. “Monkey, stop it!”
The humming on the edge of Larry’s hearing grew louder. “Could you give me the tablet, please?” he asked, nearing desperation. Lancelot moved it out of his reach. “Give me the tablet. If you give me the tablet, I promise I won't....”
“Do not look at my nose!” Lancelot screeched.
“Give me the tablet,” Larry snarled.
“Look away.”
“Give me the tablet.”
“How hard could it be not to look at my nose?!”
“I'm not gonna look at your nose - I can't help it!”
“Look to the heavens!”
In a last bid to negotiate with the unhinged knight, Larry looked immediately to the stars.
“It's disgusting,” Jedediah whispered.
Octavius nodded. “Yet, he's still handsome.”
“No one shall look at, or mention, my nose from this moment forward!” Lancelot sighed and relaxed somewhat. “I'm sorry, I forgot what we were talking about.”
“Lawrence.”
Larry looked over just in time to see Teddy turn completely to wax.
Sacagawea gasped and ran over to him before turning herself.
“Larry,” Ahkmenrah called, on the verge of tears as his flesh decomposed. “We've run out of time.”
Larry growled and whirled on Lancelot. “Listen to me. You got to straighten the pieces. Straighten the pieces right now or they're all gonna die! You too!”
Lancelot took a deep, shaky breath, then nodded to himself. “A world without Camelot is not a world worth living in.”
“Dad!” Nicky cried.
Larry turned to see Ahk had collapsed completely and he ran over, kneeling beside him, feeling for a pulse, gazing in those dead eyes. “Oh, no. No, no. No! Ahk? No, no. Come on, man! Ahkmenrah!”
“Dad, he's gone,” Nicky sobbed.
“I'll take that hand now,” Jedediah reached down to where he could not see, but he felt Octavius grip his fingers and squeezed back.
Dexter chirruped sadly as he too became a statue.
Larry shook his head and turned back to Ahk, clutching his hand to his chest.
Lancelot knelt down near a teary-eyed Larry. “I understand now,” he said, solemn. “The king was the quest. It was never about the tablet. It was about them. Forgive me. It is I who have been the fool.” He bowed his head and offered the tablet.
Larry snatched it from his hand and leaped to the center of the roof, turning the tiles one by one until they finally face the moon. “No,” he whimpered when nothing happened.
Then the tablet began to glow.
Ahkmenrah gasped in a lungful of air, body restoring itself immediately, and Larry couldn’t take his eyes off him.
Jedediah cheered. “We're back, baby!”
“Lawrence!” Teddy laughed, relief and joy and… alive.
Dexter jumped to Nicky’s shoulder, and they all surrounded Larry, congratulations and thanks pouring from their lips.
When they returned to the museum, Shepserehet was waiting. She wrapped her arms around her son. “Well done, my child.”
Merenkahre moved towards Larry. “Thank you,” he said, “for bringing my son home safely. It's a strange thing... seeing your boy become a man.”
Larry smiled and looked over to where Ahk was telling his mother what happened – “There were lions chasing us!” – then glanced over at his own son. “Yeah, it's crazy,” he agreed. “One day, they're riding a dinosaur through Central Park... and then the next day they're DJ-ing in Ibiza.”
Merenkahre looked confused for a moment, then nodded sternly and turned to face him. “You've served my family well. We shall build a great tomb and bury you with many riches. I, personally, will see to it that your organs are removed and placed in separate jewel-encrusted jars.”
Larry struggled for words for a moment, then fell back on everything the past years had taught him. “Thank you.”
“It's the right thing to do,” Sacagawea whispered as Larry walked over to their group.
“Then we're agreed,” Teddy said, turning to face the night guard. “Lawrence... may I have a word?”
Larry frowned but nodded. “Yeah.”
“The others and I have been talking. Ahkmenrah's place is here with his family. He must remain here. And the tablet should stay here as well, son.”
“This is where it belongs, Gigantor,” Jedidiah said.
Larry blinked in shock. “Yeah, but it.... That means you guys would have to stay.”
“We belong in New York,” Sacagawea said, answering his unasked question.
Larry shook his head. “Yeah, but if you... if you guys go, then you... you won't be alive after tonight.”
Jedidiah smiled. “We're museum exhibits, Laredo. It's what we are. Folks come to look at us, maybe learn a little something. That's alive, man.”
“But I'm....” Larry swallowed back tears. “I'm supposed to take care of you guys.”
“And you have,” Teddy said. “It's okay, Lawrence. We're ready.”
“I'm not,” Larry insisted.
Teddy put a hand on his shoulder. “Let us go, son.”
Larry nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said.
Ahk flowed down the short steps and came to a stop in front of Larry. “Thank you for giving me back my family, Larry, Guardian of Brooklyn.”
Larry nodded, feeling torn in two.
“Dad,” Nicky called. “If we leave right now, we can still catch a flight... get home with everyone still awake before the sun comes up.”
Larry tore his eyes away from the pharaoh. “Yeah, okay,” he sighed. “Let's go home.”
Ahkmenrah nodded and followed, tucking the tablet under his arm.
“Wait.” Larry held out his hand, confused.
Ahk raised an eyebrow. “You’re not seriously leaving me behind?”
“Your family - ʺ
“I was trapped in a tomb with them for 4000 years, I think I can stand at least few hundred more without them.”
Larry stuttered for a moment. “The paperwork….”
“Doctor McPhee’s bluff will be found soon enough. Easier to ship me back now and explain there was a mix-up.”
Larry, Nicky, and the rest of the exhibits stared in shock.
“What?” Ahk asked. “You really think I would leave you – leave my friends?” He huffed and flounced out of the room like the prince he really was.
Larry stared, open-mouthed.
True to Nicky’s word, they did make it back before sunrise. Larry saw to it that all the exhibits were settled before he met Ahkmenrah at his sarcophagus. The pharaoh stared at his tablet, back on the wall where it belonged.
Larry cleared his throat as he joined him. “Hey, listen.” He took a deep breath, and Ahk turned to look at him. “Up there on the roof, when you... when you almost....”
Ahk stopped him with a hand on his jaw. He stared him in the eyes a long moment before leaning in ever so slowly and pressing soft lips against the corner of his mouth.
Larry gaped a moment, resting a hand on Ahk’s hip as he thought, before drawing him closer and plundering his mouth as the prince’s fingers threaded through his hair.
When he pulled away, gasping, lips swollen, he took a moment to rest their foreheads together.
“That was a long time coming,” Ahk murmured.
“Yeah.” Larry gave him one more kiss before pulling away completely and drawing the lid off the sarcophagus.
Ahk smirked and laid down, adjusting the ridiculous panda neck pillow. “I’ll see you at sunset,” he said.
Larry leaned down and kissed him one last time. “I’ll see you then,” he murmured, so close he could feel his lips as he spoke. With some difficulty, he drew away, closed the casket, and walked out of the exhibit.
He couldn’t wait for night to come.
