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It's been almost four weeks since Dean is gone. Four weeks since he said "Yes" to Michael to have a chance at defeating Lucifer - his father. Four weeks since his father stole most of his grace. Some of it restored itself but he isn't near as powerful as he used to be.
He can't help but to feel guilty about being so useless. With his normal powers he would have been able to track Micheal, and with him Dean, down in the blink of an eye.
Sam, Castiel, Mary and even Bobby assured him it wasn't his fault but when he sees the sadness in their eyes he just can't help it.
This morning he passed Dean's room on his way to the kitchen. The door was open and he saw Castiel sitting on the bed, a stack of photographs in his hand.
Jack knew what photos Castiel was looking at. It were photos of Dean with his loved ones. Sam, Mary, the Bobby of their universe and himself. It was clear he missed Dean very much.
He always knew their relationship was different. Different to Castiel's relationship with Sam. Or Mary. He had his suspicions as to why but he was to young to fully understand this concept and he didn't want to ask Castiel because he felt like that would be wrong.
But Jack knew who he could ask. He found Mary in the library sitting in front of the laptop Sam got for her. She had a worried look on her face and the dark circles under her eyes showed how tired she was. She spent every waking minute trying to find signs where Micheal could be.
He took the seat across from her and she gave him a tired but genuine smile. "Hey, Jack. Everything alright?" Jack nodded in response then shook his head. "I... I have a question."
"Let's see if I can help you." Mary answered closing her laptop to give him her full attention. "What is it like to be in love?" Jack asked straight away. He got a confused look in return.
"Why do you want to know that?" Mary wanted to know. "I still have a lot to learn and I want to understand it." Jack told her truthfully.
She took a few seconds to think about it before she answered. "Well... it's like finding your best friend. But it feels like... more, you know? Sparks fly when you see them for the first time. At least it was for me like that when I met John."
She smiled when she mentioned her husband. Jack felt sorry for her. It must be horrible to come back after 30 years to find out the love of your life is gone.
"You feel happy around them, you lose track of time when you're with them and it always feels like it wasn't enough. You feel miserable without them. You get this look on your face when you look at them. They are the one person that knows you better than anyone else. They make you a better person... no, actually you do that yourself. Because they inspire you. You can be yourself around them. They accept and believe in you. Believe in you before anyone else does or doesn't want to."
Jack nodded. He began to understand but Mary was not finished yet. "They are everything to you. You need them. And if you know they're the one for you, you'll carry them with you forever. And no matter what happens, you will always love them and nothing can ever change that."
"But when you have such strong feelings about someone... why can't you just tell them?" His question made Mary laugh. It was her first real laugh in days. "Oh, Jack. You still have a lot to learn about love. It isn't always that easy. Sometimes it's not the right time or you're scared. Scared because of something that happened to you in the past. Scared you might lose them or that they will leave you eventually. There are a lot of reasons why."
"You really loved John." And it wasn't a question. Mary nodded and touched the ring she was wearing on a necklace around her neck. "Yes. He really was the love of my life. I still miss him every day."
"Are you sure your question had no other motive than curiousity?" She asked him with a knowing look on her face. Jack looked over to Castiel who was sitting at the other end of the library. He was reading a book about archangels in a language only he was able to read.
"I see. We will get Dean back. And they will come to terms with their feelings for each other eventually. But at their own pace. We can't help them with that."
"Thank you, Mary. You helped me a lot." Jack said and got up. "You're welcome. You can always talk to me if you have any questions." She responded.
Jack thanked her again and looked over at Castiel. He was still reading. They'll find Michael and get Dean back. No matter what. They deserve to find their happiness in each other.