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Distant city lights, the red glow of the Tokyo Tower. Two men stand on a balcony, saying nothing. The weatherman said it would rain in the evening, but the skies are clear. Black and starless. Liar, liar.
“We should break up.”
Yokozawa lights a cigarette, taking a long, slow drag. He avoids Kirishima’s gaze. His eyes are distant, staring at the red glow from miles away.
Kirishima doesn’t say a thing. What would he say anyway? Shock seers through him, cutting deep in his skin. Burning eyes, “Don’t… Don’t joke around like that,” he places his hand on his partner’s, “That scared me.” His heart prays it was a joke, that he was just teasing for some sort of rouse, or at least a confirmation of their mutuality.
No. It’s not that.
“I’m not joking. You know I would joke about something like that,” Yokozawa’s voice shakes as he says it, not with uncertainty, but with fear.
What? “I don’t… I don’t like this,” he grabs his hand again, “Did I do something wrong? I-I know that I’m not the greatest guy, but I can change. I promise.”
He doesn’t respond, just wipes the tears from his eyes. He taps the butt of the cigarette against the barrier, watching the ashes fall down into the streets.
“Yokozawa…” Kirishima’s heart aches, “I love you. I’ll always love you, no matter what. S-So if you need to talk about something…” His hands shake, “D-Do you not like me anymore?”
“That’s not i-it,” he covers his sniffling with sharp coughs, leaning his face into his sleeve.
Kirishima’s voice raises unintentionally, “Then what is it!”
“You have a daughter, Kirishima-san,” he coughs, “And she doesn’t know. And my parents don’t know. And your parents don’t know. And once the company finds out, once everyone finds out, we’re both gonna have n-nothing,” he shakily crushes the cigarette on the rail, his speech rough, “So what are we supposed to do after that!?”
It hurts him to know that all these things were true. It hurts him not to know the answer to that question.
“...I’m leaving.” Yokozawa drops his head and walks away, closing the door behind himself.
Let him cool off, the voice in Kirishima’s head whispers. The voice also tells him to run after him. It tells him to hold him and never let him go. It tells him to jump. Stuck.
The balcony door is flung open, Yokozawa can hear the footsteps running after him. He lets the arms envelop him, lets Kirishima pin him against the wall. What else would he expect? Things like this never go over easily.
“Don’t go. Please don’t go,” Kirishima dips his head into the crook of Yokozawa’s neck, “Just stay with me for one more night. Please. I don’t want you to go.”
Yokozawa weak hands push against him, the ‘don’t touch me’ unable to pass through his shaking lips. “Zen, stop it. Y-You’re being childish.”
“I’m not!” He shouts it, tears falling from his cheeks, “I’m human, Takafumi! How can you be so fucking inconsiderate!!”
“Would you lower your voice? You’re gonna wake up Hiyo...”
“It’s not just me, you know,” his voice cracks, “How do you think Hiyori’s gonna feel when you stop showing up!? She can’t deal with losing another parent. I can’t go through that again.”
Hiyo… Yokozawa turns his head away, a tear escaping to run down his cheek. He never thought about that. That girl was as much of his sunshine as her father, and to lose the both of them…
Kirishima’s fingers force his chin to a center point, their lips crashing together. Yokozawa struggles away from him, pressing against the man’s grip on his wrists. He succeeds in shifting his head away, at a loss for breath, “Stop it! We can’t do this anymore-!”
“Yokozawa-Onii-chan!”
Hiyori’s eyes shoot open when something bangs harshly against the living room wall. It’s a thousand degrees under the comforters, along with Sora-chan sleeping on her legs. The tiredness that should be accompanied by waking up so early is lost to her. Her mind is to overrun with dread to even think of falling back asleep.
There’s an innate angst of having your space invaded, or having a loved one get hurt. That pounding on the wall ignites that fear, leaving her eyes wide open and her body paralyzed. She wants to call out for her papa, let him take care of it. But, the mature part of her keeps her paralyzed, only able to reach out to feel her cat’s fur.
She pulls the covers over her head, whispering a quiet, “Ghosts aren’t real.” But intruders were, she saw them on TV. And murderers were too.
So, she climbs out of bed, holding a teddy to her chest. Once, when her father and Onii-chan weren’t around once, she watched a horror movie. She knew what she was doing.
In the movie, they always opened the doors with stealth and intense silence; she did her best to replicate that, slowly, slowly twisting the knob-
“How can you be so fucking inconsiderate!!” Papa? She jumps back, frightened by the sudden shouting. She never heard Kirishima talk that way before, not to anyone except the people on the telephone. Maybe… Her eyes widen. Maybe Papa was fighting the bad guy!! She starts out the door, ready to accompany her father in the battle. She smiles a bit to herself at her immense bravery. Her father was going to be so proud.
“How do you think Hiyori’s gonna feel when you stop showing up!? She can’t deal with losing another parent.” Yes, that was definitely her father’s voice- Wait. What was he talking about? Worried, she peers down into the living room, beside the entry hall… Was that Onii-chan? She gasps, ‘Is Onii-chan the bad guy?’ At the realization, her brave facade dissipates. That means… Onii-chan’s leaving?
“I can’t go through that again.” Her father’s words aren’t meant for fighting, they aren’t bitter. He’s just as scared as she is.
She hears a soft sniffle, her eyes flashing towards Yokozawa. In the moonlight, she can see his sad expression, the tears running down his cheeks. She had never seen a man cry before, especially not her Onii-chan. Is he frightened too?
Suddenly, the two men shift, growing closer together, touching their lips. She holds her plushy tight to her chest, holding her breath. She only saw embracing like this at the ends of Disney movies and late-night rom-coms. So does this mean… And if that’s true then..?
Onii-chan and Father are breaking up?
“Stop it! We can’t do this anymore!” Yokozawa shoves him away, hiding his expression-
“Yokozawa-Onii-chan!” Hiyori’s booming voice travels without her permission, making the two men stare up at each other in stupor.
Kirishima swallows, bracing towards his daughter, “H-Hiyo, let’s go back to bed, okay?” Hiyori doesn’t look at him, biting her bottom lip. “D-Don’t worry, me and Onii-chan were just having a little disagreement, that’s all,” His eyes flash backward at Yokozawa’s shaking frame. Onii-chan covers his face with his hand, as if he was ashamed to see the girl.
“N-No! I don’t want to go to bed!!” She pushes away Kirishima’s inviting hands, bounding towards her ‘big brother.’ “Onii-chan!” she calls out, pulling at his shirt, “Please don’t go!”
Yokozawa looks at her in shock, his chest still heaving. To some extent, he figured she’d hate him, especially after seeing all that. But still, she looks up at him with gleaming eyes…
“Please!! If we work together, we can fix everything and be one big happy family!!” She pleads in her bravest voice, “Please, Onii-chan!! I promise!!!”
Kirishima chuckles and walks towards the pair, running a hand through his hair, “Well, you heard her. What do you say, Takafumi?”
Yokozawa stands, his mouth hanging open. Hiyori gives her biggest grin a reaches up for his hand, Zen planting a small kiss on his forehead. Gingerly, he leans into his partner chest, letting Hiyori take two of his fingers in her hand. “I don’t know,” he smiles to himself, gazing at the red city lights in the corner of his eye, “I’ve never felt so loved before in my life.”