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rip my heart out

Summary:

so go ahead, rip my heart out, show me what love's all about

Notes:

title and summary are both from the song if you don't know - 5 seconds of summer

Work Text:

If one didn't know Jinyoung, it would have been hard to tell that there was something wrong with him. But if you knew him, it was clear that he had just been putting on a performance. He was just acting, just pretending that he was okay. The fans believed it, in general the public did. But the other members knew better, and their manager had known better.

Well, the manager just has also known the group and all of the member's long enough to be able to tell when things were anything but okay. There was a thick, ugly, and tense atmosphere, and he could see that some of the other members would do anything, desperate, to try and make things seem better, but it had always failed. Jackson especially, and BamBam, sometimes even Youngjae and Yugyeom would join in on their antics as well.

It was from that that their manager was able to tell who the issues and tension was coming from, he knew it wasn't Mark because the only member Mark has ever had issues with was BamBam but that had been long resolved, and that just left two members left (and why is he even surprised?) ; Jaebum and Jinyoung. Which really, that wasn't anything new. Jaebum had quite the reputation for being a hot head, and Jinyoung was definitely known as being stubborn. Their manager could remember the some of the horror stories from the boys trainee days, or even their JJ Project days, disagreements and fights were more than common than they would want to admit for two men who were suppose to be a duo. It had seemed like the two of them had grown up and matured, learning how to handle and deal with other people, but it was like they both regressed when it came to each other and the ugliest sides of them would come out, but, their manager had to hand it to them, because it always ended up fixed... until the next fight.

So he left it alone, assuming that they would just fix it on their on, like they always had. But after a few days he began to feel wary because things were still not resolved, and it was getting to the point that he wasn't sure if he could just keep avoiding it.

Once a week passed, their manager decided he couldn't ignore it any longer and that he had to give the two boys a push. So after their training for the day, he pulled Jaebum alone. "So I'm not going to sugar coat anything for you because you should be able to handle it."

"Yes sir."

"Fix whatever is going on with you and Jinyoung." he noticed the way that surprise flickered across Jaebum's features, and then, a shame that they had been caught. "You're the leader, you shouldn't have even let it go on this long."

"Sir, I don't think-"

Raising his hand, he stopped Jaebum mid sentence. "Fix it, before I get JYP involved."

That was enough to make Jaebum shut up right away, and have any opposition die out, even though he still believed that it was an awful idea to talk to Jinyoung. Jinyoung wouldn't even want to talk to him because it was Jaebum's fault that Jinyoung is so pissy. "Yes sir."

When he got back to their dorm, he tried to avoid it for as long as he could, trying to procrastinate it. The other members were side eyeing him, and that was getting on his nerves. He knew that they saw their manager pull him to the side, and he also knew that they weren't idiots and knew why their manager wanted to talk to him alone.

So that night, when Jaebum walked into Jinyoung's room, he knew what it was about right away. It wasn't hard to guess, Jinyoung's been getting a lot of side eye lately. It was because their manager talked to him, told him he had to do it, and that made him snort out of annoyance. Jaebum was just going to keep avoiding him.

It was awkward as Jaebum sat at the edge of the bed, as far away from Jinyoung who was sitting there scribbling into a notebook to himself. "What do you want?" Jinyoung asked, trying to seem nonchalant about the whole thing as he didn't look up from his notebook.

"You know you can talk to me about what's going on? You know I'm always here for you?"

That successfully makes Jinyoung tear his eyes away from the notebook as he tried to resist the urge to chuck it right at Jaebum's face and curse him out. Was he just trying to mock Jinyoung? He fucking knew what was going on with Jinyoung. And frankly, if anyone needed an intervention, it was Jaebum, and not him. "Why?" he asks, vague in question, searching for almost a thousand answers.

Why should I talk to you?

Why are you even bothering?

Why are you in denial?

Why are you so afraid of your own feelings?

Why do you run from me?

After a moment of silence, like Jaebum was debating on what to say, he finally settled with, "I'm the leader, it's my job to take care of all of you."

But no one is taking care of you, and you won't let me. The words make Jinyoung want to call out that he is lying, call out the utter bullshit, that this wasn't just about being a leader and responsibility anymore, that it was because he knows he's hurt Jinyoung, and whether he wants to admit it or not, there is something there. He wants to ask, when had Jaebum stopped caring on a personal level, since when was it suppose to be his job to care?

But Jinyoung didn't, he just felt the hope seeking out of his bones and his being, and it left him feeling numb. He wanted to get mad, but he couldn't find it in him to do so. So, he gave the first bullshit excuse he could give, reasonable, probably overused, but whatever. If Jaebum wasn't going to be honest with him, why should he bother to tell him the truth? "I'm just tired today, I stayed up reading last night."

Jaebum nodded at the answer, clearly able to tell that it was a blatant lie, but he accepted it anyways with a, "Make sure to get some sleep tonight then."

Jinyoung's words were just as empty, "I will."

He didn't.

After several more seconds of Jaebum lingering in the awkwardness of it all, appearing like he might say something more, but ultimately chickening out like he always does, he left, escaping to his room and no one saw him for the rest of the night.

At some point, Jinyoung drifted out into the living room, to watch the television since no one else was, to watch pointless episodes of dramas that he hardly remembers. Seeing characters caught up in love situations, and feeling just as miserable as him was comforting in a way.

Eventually, two people were joining him, sitting on either side of him, Mark and Jackson, both men being like his own personal angels. Neither said anything, they didn't have to, nor did they know where to even begin from. So they both just wrapped their arms around Jinyoung and watched the dramas anyways. And when Jinyoung ultimately ended up crying, and blamed it on the episode, they comforted him, and when he fell asleep they carried him back to his room and tucked him in.

When they walked back out, they saw the other door that was open, it was Jaebum, staring at them, and at Jinyoung's newly closed door. He didn't have to speak a word, Mark had already known what he wanted to know. So with one simple nod, Jaebum was backing down, locking himself back into his bed room again, and then Mark and Jackson departed to go to their separate bedrooms.

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