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Damen’s ride toward Vere was a difficult one, though that was likely due only to the pace that he set for himself, unbridled urgency propelling him forward and likely exhausting his horse.
He had given Laurent no warning of his arrival. They had not planned to see each other for another month, both finding themselves with hands full as the unification drew rapidly nearer.
In the meantime, there had been distance. Damen was working from the new palace that had been constructed for himself and Laurent in Delfeur, having only recently relocated there a month prior, the most loyal of the kyroi alongside him. He remembered with fondness the first tour of the finished palace, walking alongside Laurent through halls and chambers with linked hands, the hope of the future spread out before them in white marble.
It was a nice memory; with Laurent working in Arles, the palace had not felt the same since.
For the most part, they were tying up loose ends, securing international relationships as a unified empire, having already undertaken the worst of the difficult task of soothing tensions between their own two vastly different countries. There had been spurts of violence on both sides of the border, which was anticipated and yet difficult to manage all the same. Even when there wasn’t violence, there was contempt -- the issue with the latter being that it could not be extinguished by the intervention of the kings’ soldiers. It had not gone perfectly, and it still did not, but they had not expected it to.
In spite of the difficulties they still worked pacify, hope thrummed within and between them like a pulse, the approach of the official unification feeling tantalizingly close and yet lifetimes away.
Consequentially, Damen had work to do.
Instead, he was riding into Vere as quickly as his best horse would take him.
He knew that it was dangerous to leave Delfeur while he and Laurent grappled with the vulnerability of their empire. This was not the time to take risks beyond what was necessary, and it was perhaps poor leadership to leave the palace at all, but he couldn’t find it in himself to stay.
His body had all but compelled him forward since the moment the idea planted itself within his head at the Kingsmeet, staring at a statue of his father standing next to a queen -- a wife that he loved, but was not in love with. His lover would never be immortalized the way his queen would be. Many would not ever understand the way the King Theomedes had loved his mistress in a way that he did not love the woman who ruled alongside him. Damen was not sure if history would care either way.
It twisted in his gut then, the fear that years from now, people would not understand the intention of the unification. It had been no secret that he and Laurent were lovers. Nonetheless, there had still been whispers floating around Akielos and Vere for months about the true motivations of the union, some more forgiving than others. Damen paid them no mind, passed them off as an expected side-effect of combining their kingdoms with blind faith that they would only be temporary.
It never occurred to him until then that perhaps they wouldn’t be.
He had immediately left the Kingsmeet and ordered a horse prepared for the morning. Nikandros had nagged him about his recklessness, but Nikandros didn’t get it, the feeling that blossomed within and seemed to take over until it was all that he could focus on.
“This is foolish, Damianos,” Nikandros had chided, following briskly at Damen’s heels as he made for the Kings’ chambers. “I can’t imagine a worse time to leave. This is impulsive, even for you.”
Damen made no attempt to slow or turn around to face his friend -- or listen to him, for that matter. He threw open the door of his room. “You have told me.”
He said nothing else as he quickly paced through the length of the room, gathering a small number of spare items to bring: his best pair of riding gloves; Laurent’s favorite book, left with Damen by mistake; a golden pin engraved with a starburst behind a lion with a red gem in its mouth -- one half of a twin pair.
“This cannot wait even a month?” Nikandros asked as he watched Damen move around the room. “Is Laurent less likely to agree to this under more stable circumstances? Does he, too, take pleasure in reckless abandon?”
Damen finally slowed to consider his friend for the first time.
“I am going, Nikandros. There is nothing for me to do here that you are not capable of managing in my stead.” If it hadn’t been for the years of friendship between them, he almost would not have noticed the faint pride that flashed across Nikandros’ face at that, hidden beneath hardened disapproval. “I trust you.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere.”
“Oh, I’m sure it can get me to Arles, at least.”
Nikandros looked unimpressed.
“You have made up your mind about this,” he said, a simple statement of fact.
“You know I have.”
Damen watched as Nikandros nodded slowly, swallowing whatever protests he had left unsaid, of which -- Damen was sure -- there were many.
“Alright. I will do what you need me to do in your absence--” Damen felt his face break out into a grin before his friend could finish, voice firm. “--but be quick. And take a guard, at least. There are plenty up north who would have your head if you offered it.”
Damen clasped his hand against the breadth of Nikandros’ shoulder, feeling him endure the force of the grip. “You are good to me, Nik.”
“I am indulgent of you.”
“Perhaps you are both,” Damen replied with a smile. With a few belongings tucked beneath his arm, he turned to leave.
“Damen.” Nikandros’ voice stopped him before he stepped out into the hall. He turned back to his friend who had softened in spite of himself, his gaze lingering on the book in Damen’s arms. He, too, knew that it was Laurent’s favorite. “Should he say yes, you have my full support.”
The blessing of any part of the kyroi was beneficial, though ultimately unnecessary, but his support still meant something to Damen. Nikandros and Laurent had kindled a growing respect between the two of them, though neither liked to often outright admit it -- Nikandros out of pride and Laurent out of petty entertainment.
“Thank you. You know what that means to me,” he said, willing Nikandros to understand the gratitude within him. “I am sorry to run out like this. I am trusting in you.”
Nikandros nodded, gesturing vaguely toward the door. “Good luck then.”
Now, Damen was moving toward Vere with unrestrained speed, having broken away from his men a long stretch back, and still found it was not quick enough. By the time he had arrived at the gates of Arles, it was beyond sundown, the torches at the front of the palace lit and making the stone look grand and shadowed.
“Exalted,” blurted the surprised guard as Damen dismounted at the gates, his movements feeling clumsy with impatience. “I beg your pardon, we were not aware of your arrival.”
“I didn’t send word,” Damen assured, walking ahead. “Where is Laurent?”
“His bedchamber, I believe, though --”
With that, Damen rushed ahead, leaving the palace guard stunned and confused. Damen had spent enough time now in Arles as a free man to be able to navigate the overdressed halls, which was lucky because he felt that he could not get to Laurent any slower without driving himself mad. His strides, foolishly large, echoed against the cold tile in the quiet palace.
The doors of Laurent’s room were closed and quiet when he approached them, the entire hallway cleared aside from two guards who stood silently nearby.
“Is he inside?” Damen asked, his pulse accelerating when they nodded and stepped aside, eyes wide with surprise.
Damen swung the door open with what may have been a bit too much force, watching as Laurent, tucked behind a desk, startled despite himself at the sudden interruption. Damen savored the surge of relief that settled deep within his bones at the sight of him, dressed down to a white shirt, his blonde hair long enough now to tuck into a simple braid. He worked in low candlelight that muted the edges of the room, making him look comfortable; intimate; warm.
“Damen,” Laurent said with confusion. “What are you doing here?”
“Is that all the greeting that I get?” Damen asked, his voice rich and low. “It was a long ride.”
Slowly, as though he could not believe that Damen was standing in front of him, Laurent rounded the desk, a cautious excitement beginning to enter his countenance. Damen opened his arms in invitation before Laurent was enveloped within them, pleasant and familiar. Their time away from one another had been consistently punctuated by the importance of the work they had to do. It made the distance harder, but the reunions sweeter.
“I’ve missed you,” Damen murmured into the fine strands of Laurent’s hair, allowing himself the delight of nuzzling the top of his head. “It’s so good to see you.”
“It’s nice to see you too,” Laurent whispered, his face hot against Damen’s chest. He pulled back reluctantly to peer up with confusion at Damen’s beaming face. “But I don’t understand; you are supposed to be in Delfeur. You didn’t write to tell me that you were coming.”
“I was in Delfeur. It was a sudden decision to come; I needed to speak with you as soon as possible. In person.”
A cold caution dawned over Laurent’s face. “Has something happened?”
“No!” Damen reached out to cusp Laurent’s face as if to wipe the concern away. “Nothing has happened. I came on personal matters.”
Laurent was silent for a long moment. “We are in the final steps of unification, and you left your work behind and fled from Delfeur on a romantic whim?”
Damen, smirking despite himself and Laurent’s hardened disapproval, simply replied, “Yes.”
Laurent stared at him with pursed lips, but much to Damen’s own pleasure he still could not quite extinguish the glint of excitement in his eyes.
“Don’t be angry with me,” Damen pleaded. “It is relevant to the unification.”
“It is obviously important enough that a letter would not be adequate. Do tell.”
“I have been thinking,” Damen began hesitantly, but found that he had nowhere to go.
Laurent stared at him evenly, one blonde eyebrow raised slightly. “I should hope so.”
Damen smirked but didn’t continue. He had decided on his journey to Vere that he would not pick and rehearse a certain dialogue, but that he would speak candidly when the time came. He had never been one to struggle with words and yet remembered that decision now with great regret.
“What have you been thinking about?” Laurent asked, pulling Damen from his thoughts. Damen could feel Laurent’s fingers slowly tracing the line of his arm as he waited for Damen to reply. The touch left trails of sparks; he hoped that it always would.
Laurent stared up at him expectantly, his blue eyes curious, if not slightly anxious. Damen met his gaze, and with a calming breath, said simply, “I think we should be wed.”
The confusion fell away from Laurent, only to be replaced by his jaw falling open, shifting back to regard Damen with shock.
“We --” Laurent started before closing his mouth once more. “What?”
It was not often that Laurent was found at a loss of words and Damen tried to appreciate the novelty for what it was, though he would have appreciated it more had it not been for the nerves that were beginning to expand and intensify within himself. They were proving to be awfully distracting.
“We should get married,” Damen said. “To each other,” he clarified when the silence stretched on. It felt like a foolish thing to clarify, but the alarm on Laurent’s face was beyond what Damen had anticipated, so he clarified all the same.
“You came here to propose marriage to me,” Laurent said. The way he said it was not quite a question, though it was not quite a statement either.
“I did.”
Slowly, Laurent spoke, a whisper of laughter at the edge of his voice. “We are uniting our kingdoms as kings. We are the ultimate authority of our countries; I did not think that marriage was necessary between us.”
Damen said nothing for a moment, his blood turning to ice. He took a deep breath, trying to recall the self-assurance that he had felt during his ride into Vere, but feeling it slip through his fingers all the same.
“It isn’t necessary. I would never ask you to do something that you don’t want to do.”
“It’s not that I --” Laurent started, his head shaking, but seemed unable to continue. The silence was suffocating.
“We do not have to get married,” Damen assured. “We are the kings of Akielos and Vere and we can do with our countries what we please. We will build the empire that we intend to build, and we will do it by each other’s sides and we will be remembered for it.”
Laurent nodded. He knew this. They both knew this.
“But I do not ask for your hand out of political necessity, Laurent.”
Damen watched as quiet realization began to fall over Laurent’s face, his features softening, the corner of his mouth curling in a way that Damen would have missed had he not devoted so much time into coaxing it out. “Why are you asking then?”
Laurent already knew the answer to his own question. Damen knew that he knew it, and yet he answered it all the same.
“Because I want to marry you,” Damen said simply. The curl of Laurent’s lips grew more defined now, if not slightly disbelieving. “Don’t you ever think about our future? Not our kingdom’s future, but our own.”
“The prince-killer of Akielos and the last of the Veretian royal line who united two hostile countries?” Laurent replied softly. “I suppose I do.”
Damen brushed a thumb along Laurent’s cheekbone, and down the curve of his jaw. He wished, pointlessly, that he could simply show Laurent the relentless force that had pushed him toward Arles -- that had long ago begun to push him toward wherever Laurent was.
He could not give that, of course -- he could not open his heart for display. Instead, he gave the simple truth that thrummed within him.
“When we are gone, I want our people to know that you and I embodied the unity that we are trying to foster, that I chose to tie myself to you, even though it wasn’t necessary.”
Wonder filled the blue of Laurent’s eyes. “You are proposing a marriage of love?”
“It would strengthen the legitimacy of the unification,” Damen offered.
“It would,” Laurent granted, nodding. “Though that is not why you are asking.”
“No. It’s not.”
Laurent was quiet again for a long moment, lost in thought. In Damen’s mind, this exchange had not involved so much silence, but then Laurent always one to surprise him. When Laurent finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper, distant as though still deep in thought.
“Auguste used to tell me that he wanted me to be able to marry for love someday. I think he had accepted the possibility of an arranged marriage for himself, but he still wanted me to have a decision. At that age, I didn’t have much interest in romance and wasn’t entirely convinced that a prince could do that anyway. I doubt our father would have allowed it. But now…” Laurent slid his hands up Damen’s biceps, past his shoulders, allowing his hands to twine together behind Damen’s neck. He looked as if he still could not quite believe that Damen was standing in front of him at all, as if to confirm that he was truly there, asking what he was asking. “I cannot say that I have never imagined it.”
“Imagined it?” Damen pulled back at that. “With me?”
Laurent simply chuckled, as he always did when Damen let his ego get ahead of him. He shook his head up as if that were a stupid question. It was, but Damen wanted to hear the answer anyway.
“Have you not?” Laurent asked as if the idea were foolish.
“I came to you as soon I realized that I wanted it.”
Damen felt a furl of pleasure at the way Laurent’s cheeks darkened at that. “Why the change of heart?”
“Well, there are rumors around Akielos that you have outwitted me and are manipulating me for power.”
“Oh,” Laurent nodded with a laugh, infectious and sweet. Damen’s heart ached at the sound. “This is a matter of personal honor. I should have known.”
Damen felt a mirroring laugh rise inside of him in return, happiness growing and sparking between them. The cold that had momentarily run through his veins had thawed and grew warmer still. When he spoke, he found the truth spilling out of him, taking the bitter dread with it.
“I never considered it much because I placed more importance in my kingship than anything else. I would have done anything for my father, for my country.” Damen reached his hand out slowly, tucking a strand of blonde hair out of Laurent’s face. “But I was foolish; I’d never been in love before. So, I’d say it was you that changed my mind.”
“Something I said?” He said it teasingly, lifting one brow as he gazed up at Damen, mischief in his eye. It was not a real question, though Damen could give a real answer. He could give a thousand. And he would if Laurent would hear them.
“Marry me, Laurent.”
Laurent let a slow grin unfurl across his face before yanking Damen’s head up to meet his lips, effectively pulling the air from his lungs. Damen allowed his hands to wander, splendidly, before settling firmly on Laurent’s hips, the touch anchoring him from the joy that spread throughout his body. He felt, dizzyingly so, closer to home than he had at the empty palace back in Delfeur. A palace without its King was an empty thing.
“Is this a yes?” Damen asked through roughened breathing against Laurent’s mouth.
Laurent nodded earnestly as he nonsensically erupted in laughter. The sound was so piercingly happy that Damen didn’t even mind that it had effectively interrupted their kiss.
“Yes, Damen.”
Damen felt relief first, followed by a joy that surged through his chest with each new beat of his heart, heavy and quick. He pulled Laurent in once more, kissing because he had to right then, the necessity of it pulling their bodies together and the air from their lungs. Laurent arched into the kiss like a flower toward the sun, asking for more, and Damen gave and gave and gave. He always would.
“You’ll have to forgive me,” Damen said, his breathing labored. “In Akielos, proposals of marriage are a more formal process than what I had time to prepare. I am supposed to present you with gifts, but I couldn’t wait.”
“You have given me enough.”
Slowly, taking pleasure in the lazy shift of skin, Damen tilted Laurent’s head up, leaning his head down to touch his lips to the column of Laurent’s neck, across the jut of his exposed collarbone.
“How long will you be here for?” Laurent asked, closing his eyes against the whisper of lips on his neck.
“I can’t stay long. My horse won’t be rested enough to leave tomorrow, though I am half certain that Nikandros will come and deliver me home himself if I am slow to return.”
“You are free to take a horse from--” Laurent started, but Damen quickly cut him off with a firm kiss.
“If you don’t offer, I won’t have a way back.”
Damen felt Laurent grin against his lips as he twisted his hands into the thick curls of Damen's hair and pulled him down toward the bed. “You’ll have to stay with me then.”
“That’s why I came.”
There would be much to plan; marriage for any reason was a politically-rich move and would only add to the workload in front of them, but for now, they did not concern themselves with it. Problems such as those were the problems of kings, and for one night, even if solely for one night, they went to bed together only as men, a lifetime strung out brilliantly before them.