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Phil Lester booked the flight immediate after Dan Howell, his boyfriend of 9 years, agreed to the trip.
“Now you can’t change your mind!” Phil said, as he entered the room showing the flight information on his laptop, “We are going to Jamaica!”
“When,” Dan asked, eyes wide.
“Right after the last show of the tour! We come home for a week, pack, then get on a plane!”
“How long are we staying?”
“Two weeks! It’s going to be marvelous!” Phil proclaimed.
“It does sound great” Dan said, “Two whole weeks alone. I’m sleeping the entire time.”
“Ha! No you’re not,” Phil said, laughing, “I’m off now to make some plans!”
“No swimming with sharks, okay?!” Dan called after Phil, but Phil was already headed down the stairs, in his own little world.
The tour went well, despite a show where the power to the stage went out and they had to improvise half of the show. The fans were mostly well-behaved, and they made great friends with the crew. The app was terrible, but it paid for the expensive parts of the tour, so they didn’t much care about that.
Dan opened the door to the apartment, dropped his bags, and immediately fell face down onto the carpet. “I’m never moving another muscle again,” he declared.
“Dan! At least let me by!” Phil said.
“No,” came Dan’s stoic reply. “I am unable to move. My muscles and bones have dissolved. Have a nice life.”
Phil giggled, rolled his yes, and began the careful process of stepping over Dan’s prone body and into the apartment.
“Goodness,” he said as he finally lifted his final bag over Dan’s head and placed it onto the floor, “it is stuffy in here. I’m going to open some windows.”
“Phil?” Dan said, pitifully.
“What?” Phil said as he walked away.
“Bring me my bed.”
Phil just laughed.
Ten minutes later, he was back at the front door, trying to get Dan to move his lanky legs so he could close it.
“At least bend your knees for a second!” He implored.
“Ugh,” Dan said, slowly bending his knees as if his feet weighed 20 pounds.
Phil closed the door, “There, was that so hard?” He asked.
“Yes,” Dan said, flatly. “Phil, get down here.”
“No! I’m not laying on a dirty floor!”
“But Phil,” Dan said blissfully, “It doesn’t move.”
Phil cocked his head to the side, then carefully lay down on his stomach next to Dan.
“Oh my God,” Phil said, “it’s so still!”
“See?” Dan said, “It’s wonderful.”
The two men lay without speaking for a full five minutes.
“It is missing one thing, though,” Phil said, turning his head to face Dan’s.
“What?” Dan asked.
“Food.”
“Shit,” Dan replied.
“Rock, paper, scissors?” Phil suggested.
“I’m not moving my arms,” Dan declared.
“Alright, verbally then,” Phil said.
Together, they said, “Rock, Paper, Scissors, GO!”
“Rock”, said Dan, at the same time Phil said, “Rock!”
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, GO!”
“Rock”, said Dan, while Phil said, “Scissors!”
“Dammit!” Cursed Phil.
“Haha!” Dan laughed. “Bring me food and feed it to me. But if I’m asleep, don’t wake me.”
“You want me,” Phil began, “to just shove the food down your unconscious throat?”
“NO!” Dan said, “No one is forcing anything down anyone’s throat. Go now, peasant, and bring me food.”
Phil signed, got up, and headed for the kitchen. He came back and announced, in a deep and regal voice, “Sire, the refrigerator is empty and the cabinets are filled with nought but canned vegetables and rice. It appears we will starve to death.”
Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket without moving the rest of his body, dialed, placed the phone to his ear, waited for the shop to answer, then said, “Hello, I’d like to place an order for two, please.”
“Yes!” Phil cheered in a whisper, then turned and started to pull his luggage up the stairs to their room.
They spent the week lounging on the couch, playing video games, napping, and eating way too much food.
The car came for them at 3 am the following Sunday morning, and Dan and Phil jogged down the stairs with their luggage bouncing along behind them.
The driver put their bags into the trunk as the two men got into the back seat and shut the door behind them.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this!” Dan said. “We haven’t been to Jamaica in nearly 8 years!”
“I bet it’s even better this time of year,” Phil said, “And I have so many tours planned.”
“I hope I don’t get too tan again, Dan said, suddenly worried about the SPF 20 he had in his bag.
“I quite like ‘tan Dan’,” Phil said, knocking into Phil’s shoulder with his own and laughing.
The airport was full of sleepy, mostly silent people, moving groggily through lines and struggling to stay awake through security.
As they boarded the plane, Phil took the window seat and Dan took the aisle. Phil had booked them into first class luxury, so their seats actually reclined into beds.
“This is amazing,” Dan said as he tried out the reclining function and stretched out his legs.
“I know!” Phil said, “It’s definitely worth it.”
At 10,000 feet, the WiFi became available, and Dan pulled out his laptop and began scrolling through Tumblr. Phil cried through 3 episodes of “Queer Eye”, then nodded off.
The flight attendant woke them with a gentle whisper, “For breakfast, this morning, we are offering a ham and cheese omlette with potatoes on the side, or a vegetable skillet with a raspberry yogurt parfait.”
Both chose the skillet, and sat their chairs back up as they awaited its arrival.
Phil yawned. “How long was I asleep?”
“About 30 minutes or so,” Dan said, stowing his laptop and sitting back down again.
“That’s all?” Phil said, amazed. “I feel like I slept for an hour and a half!”
“No, you cried for that long, you only slept for thirty!” Dan teased.
“Wait until you watch, Dan,” Phil said, not the least bit embarrassed, “you’ll cry, too!”
They ate breakfast to the view of the sun rising to their right. The clouds were golden at this height, and the sun cast brilliant glows on their faces.
“This is wonderful,” Dan said with a smile Phil hadn’t seen in a week.
“Yeah,” Phil replied. “It’s lovely.”
The plane touched down in Jamaica and Phil nudged Dan awake. They were among the first off the plane, which meant they were first at the luggage carousel and waited for their bags for about 30 minutes. They stood there contentedly, occasionally yawning and stretching, but already feeling a slowing down of pace that only a vacation can bring.
They took a cab to the hotel and when they walked into the room, they were awed by the view from the open window. Before them lay the ocean, with the sun occasionally piercing through the leaves of the trees by their private balcony, dancing on the sparkling sand.
“Oh, wow,” Phil said. “Dan, look! There’s a dolphin!”
Phil ran out the balcony door and grasped the rail with one hand, pointing with the other, “There! Do you see? It just jumped!”
Dan raced over and laughed with excitement, “Oh my God! How majestic!”
They spent nearly half an hour taking in the view before Dan said, “I’m ready for a meal. What day and or time is it?”
To the best of their ability to figure, they needed breakfast again, making Phil happy as this meant he could order pancakes.
Room service came and Dan scarfed down his omelette while Phil was still buttering up his pancakes.
“Dan, you’re going to make yourself sick!” Phil exclaimed with concern.
“I have a stomach of steel, my good man,” Dan answered as he grabbed the sausage patty and stuffed the entire thing into his mouth.”
Phil laughed and rolled his eyes, “You are just too much sometimes!”
Their first excursion took them on a helicopter tour of the island, complete with a guide to point out the most historic and scenic points. Dan ran out of space on his phone and grabbed Phil’s to continue documenting the striking scenes.
That night, they fell asleep in mere minutes, exhausted from the flight and the tour. The next morning Dan awoke first and Phil came awake as he heard Dan turn off the shower.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Dan said, as he came out of the shower wrapped in a towel around his waist.
“Good morning,” Phil said, rolling over to grab his glasses, “What time is it?”
“5am,” Dan laughed.
“Oh, God,” Phil laughed. “That’s jet lag for you! Is it too early to order room service?”
A knock came at the door.
Dan grabbed another towel, draped it around his shoulders, and answered it the knock.
The room service delivery person rolled in a tray filled with pancakes, waffles, and a variety of juices. When he left, Phil said, “Aww, thanks Dan!”
“No worries, mate,” Dan answered. “Get your butt over here and let’s eat!”
As they ate, Phil described their itinerary for the day. “First,” he said as he chewed, “we have a tour of some ruins at 10. Then, at 2 o’clock, we go scuba diving. After that, we come back here and shower and change, and then we have dinner reservations at Cafe Jamaica, right by the infinity pool!”
“Phil, you have outdone yourself!” Dan said and Phil beamed.
The tour of the ruins was gorgeous, and Phil took nearly a dozen shots of Dan looking at them.
“Are you going to take any pictures of the ruins themselves?” Dan teased.
“You’re the one who filled up his phone. I decide the pictures now and I’m taking what I want!” Phil declared with a smile.
Scuba diving was a bit scary for Phil, as he hated deep water, but they stayed close to the reef and saw a fantastically brilliant show of colors and lights. Dan couldn’t resist and reached out and tickled Phil’s back, causing Phil to spring out of the water with a yelp.
Dan surfaced and laughed and pointed, delighted his prank had worked.
“Oh my God!” Phil exclaimed, “I thought it was a shark!”
Dan just shook his head and kept laughing, and Phil splashed water into Dan’s face.
The boat ride back in as the sun set was gorgeous, and Phil took several pics of Dan’s silhouette against it.
The food that the restaurant was very good, and the lighted infinity pool looked as if it truly did go on forever, straight out into the ocean and into the horizon.
Phil ordered the grouper, and Dan ordered a ribeye steak, medium rare. As the salads came, the restaurant’s lights dimmed and the two men looked at each other in the candle light.
“You know,” Phil said, as he speared a tomato with his salad fork,”I knew that wasn’t really a shark.”
“Yeah, right,” Dan laughed. “You turned so white, I thought I could see right through you! You should have seen yourself bolt out of the water!”
“It was all a show, Howell,” Phil said, “I knew it was you the whole time!”
Dan shook his head and grinned.
“Let’s walk on the beach,” Dan suggested.
“Oh, yeah! That’s a great idea, Dan!” Phil agreed.
They strolled out onto the beach and started walking. The moon hung low and bright over the water, it’s reflection shimmering as the tide came in.
Dan reached out and touched Phil’s arm, “Slow down, mate!” He said, “Let’s enjoy the view. We have no where to be.”
Phil slowed down, reached back for Dan’s hand, and took it in his own.
They walked in contented silence for several minutes, before Phil said, “I heard this thing about the moon.”
“What’s that?” Dan asked.
“That they left a mirror up there and you can bounce a laser off of it.”
“Yeah, I saw that episode of ‘The Big Bang Theory’, too” Dan said.
“Oh yeah, that’s where I heard it. I wonder if it’s true?”
“I think it is,” Dan said. “This moon rise is just too perfect,” he added, “Let me borrow your phone, please.”
“Okay,” Phil said as he handed the phone to Dan.
Dan unlocked it with his finger print, then took several pictures.
“Watch out!” Phil warned as he grabbed for Dan’s arm and pulled him back from the water.
“What?!” Dan shrieked.
“You almost stepped on a baby turtle!”
“Look at you!” Dan said, using his high pitched voice to speak to the tiny animal, “You’re so little!”
“There must be a nest nearby and they are making their way to the ocean!” Phil said, excitedly.
“Oh my God!” Dan said, “Don’t move, they could be everywhere!”
And they were. When they focused their eyes down upon the sand they saw them: dozens, neigh hundreds of infinitesimally small turtles doggedly fighting their way towards the moonlit water.
They carefully started to walk backwards to get out of their path. Once they were sure they were clear, Dan snapped at least two dozen pictures. Phil just stood there in awe.
When they got back to the hotel, they each took a quick shower, then set about scrolling through the pictures they had taken that day. Laying next to each other on the bed, Phil enlarged one particularly sharp picture of a baby turtle that Dan had taken and cropped it.
“You should really look into photography, Dan,” Phil said, “this is really good work!”
“Thank you,” Dan said, smiling. “I could open a shop called ‘Turtles and Selfies’”
Phil laughed and put the phone down and turning his head towards Dan’s.
They held the gaze for a moment, then Dan leaned in and kissed Phil on the forehead.
“Let’s get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow,” Dan suggested.
“Yes, we do, though how do you know?” Phil asked, quizzically.
“I looked at the notes app on your phone while you were in the shower!” Dan said, triumphantly.
“DAN!” Phil exclaimed, “It was supposed to be a surprise!”
“I wanted to know what to wear,” Dan said calmly, shrugging his shoulders, “Plus, how big of a surprise could it be? We’re on an island.”
Phil just laughed. “Maybe I was going to have you deported!”
“And you’d have that in your notes app?”
“Yes,” Phil said.
“You’re a mess, Mr. Lester,” Dan said, shaking his head.
“Good night, Mr. Howell,” Phil said, snuggling against his boyfriend’s side.
“Good night, Philly,” Dan said hugging him closer.
And the two tall boys fell asleep in a tangle of arms and legs, with the sounds of the crashing ocean waves as the soundtrack to their dreams.
Thirteen more days to go.