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Reggie did not have feelings for Archie. He couldn’t care less about the fact that the adorably innocent red-head hadn’t removed his arm from around Veronica’s waist for a minute since the group had settled around the fire at ‘Lodge-Lodge’. He blamed the sick feeling in his stomach that emerged whenever the Latina touched her lips to Archie’s on the bag of greasy fries he had shared with Moose on the ride up. He didn’t like Archie. He couldn’t, but he did.
He liked him so much it fucking hurt. Everything about the boy two inches his junior was perfect. His hands were strong, but not overly calloused like Moose’s. His laughter was pure and contagious. His ginger hair reminded Reggie of a sunset, unlike Cheryl’s red that he had come to associate with blood. Reggie loved all his friends with his whole heart; though none of them as much as he loved Archie, none of them in the same way.
“Reg,” Moose whispered, nudging his head over with one of his large hands. “Let’s take a walk.”
Reggie rolled his eyes at the larger boy and attempted to push him away, but Moose pulled him up off the hardwood floor and half dragged him to the large French-doors behind them.
“What the hell do you want Moose?” Reggie asked, his voice dripping in false annoyance.
“I just wanna make sure you’re okay,” The brunette said softly. “You’ve been moping since we got here.”
A small panic rose in Reggie’s chest. He wasn’t even sure of his own feelings, yet he knew Moose would see through any lie he told him. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Moose, in fact he trusted him more than he ever could trust anyone else; it was the fact that he didn’t want his looming feelings to be true that was stopping him from saying anything.
“You know you can tell me anything Reg? Whatever’s bothering you we’ll figure it out.”
“Nothing to figure out, just tired that’s all,” Reggie mumbled sheepishly, “I think I’ll just go sleep.”
Moose wasn’t buying his half-assed lie and Reggie knew it, but he needed to figure himself out first before he dealt with everyone else. He turned on his heel, walking quickly, with his head down up back through the doors and up the stained wood staircase.
—
“What’s with him?” Toni asked, looking up from the intricate braid she had been weaving in her girlfriends ginger hair.
Moose shrugged explaining that Reggie was tired but Archie wasn’t so easily convinced. The look on Reggie’s face was near identical to the one plastered across it 3 weeks ago when he had showed up soaking wet, half frozen, and entirely shitfaced on Archie’s doorstep.
“I’m in trouble Andrews,” the drunk boy slurred, swaying on the spot.
“What happened Reg? Are you hurt? Did someone do something?” Archie asked all in one breath, reaching out to steady his larger friend.
“No no no, not like that Arch,” the boy said, tears jumping to his eyes. “I’m in trouble because I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t be.”
“Who? Someone older?” Archie prompted quickly and full of concern. Reggie’s word instantly reminded him of his relationship with Ms. Grundy.
“No idiot, you.” Reggie sighed before stumbling into Archie’s arms half asleep.
“I think I’ll go check on him,” Kevin announced, breaking Archie out of his flashback to that fateful night he was almost sure Reggie had no memory of.
—
“Reggie?” Kevin called, tapping on and opening the bedroom’s door simultaneously.
“What do you want Keller?” The raven-haired boy mumbled.
Kevin couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of the usually arrogant, hyper-masculine boy curled up into a ball, with his face hidden deep in the pillow he was clutching close to himself.
“So, Archie huh?” Kevin questioned, sitting on the edge of the bed, as Reggie shot up in apparent distress. “Don’t worry, I can keep a secret.”
“No,” Reggie said shaking his head, “It’s really not like that. I mean not there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just, you know, it wouldn’t work for me.”
“And why not?” Kevin inquired, the ghost of a kind smile lingering on his lips.
“Wh-what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Why wouldn’t it work for you?”
The question had clearly made Reggie uncomfortable, maybe a little more so than Kevin had intended, but still this discomfort would lead to his eventual self acceptance. God knows Kevin could have used a gay guardian angel of his own back in middle school. The best he had was Reggie himself actually. He would knock out anyone who said anything bad about him, now it was Kevin’s turn to return the favour.
“It just won’t Kev, not for me, and never with him.” The boy sighed, his voice breaking ever so slightly in his attempt to hold back tears. “My parents aren’t like yours, their love isn’t unconditional, and Andrews is head over fucking heels for Veronica. He’d never leave her, definitely not for me.”
Kevin bit the inside of his cheek and swallowed hard, searching for the right words.
“Listen Reg-“ He began before Fangs and Sweet Pea’s knock interrupted him.
“Ronnie’s making margaritas downstairs.” The shorter of the two announced, at which Reggie immediately jumped up to.
“Booze is exactly what I need right now.” He said, trapping Sweet Pea in a headlock, causing the two to playfully fight all the way down to the kitchen in a fit of youthful giggles.
Kevin shook his head at the boy who hid his feelings almost as well as Betty’s mother covered her roots. He’d have to finish this little heart-to-heart of theirs later.
—
Sweet Pea and Reggie crashed into the kitchen like a pair of five year olds just let out for recess. The sight of his best friend going reverting back to his happy-go-lucky self easily put Moose’s worries aside. Kevin and Fangs walked through the door not moment later and he instantly motioned for his boyfriend to come into his arms.
“Whatever you said to him it worked,” Moose mumbled into Kevin’s forehead before placing a kiss on the same spot.
As he looked around the room at all of his friends Moose felt as if this vacation was a straight out of the brochure daydream. From Archie and Veronica dancing and giggling along to the bubblegum pop music blasting from Kevin’s playlist, to Toni and Cheryl sitting on parallel chairs and painting each other’s toe nails, to Sweet Pea and Reggie throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths while Fangs rolled his eyes lovingly at his boyfriend and best friends antics. Everything seemed to be perfect. A masterpiece, waiting to be destroyed.
—
Night has fallen over the cosy cabin, and the group of friends found themselves huddled around the fireplace again. Archie was mindlessly strumming his guitar, his mind however was completely focused on the boy on the right of him. Reggie and Fangs were sprawled out on their stomachs, colouring the same page of a intricate colouring book. Reggie’s furrowed his brows in concentration in the same adorable way they did when he was going over football plays, and his hair was falling into his eyes.
As much as he loved helping Ronnie out with her dad, and how greats fake girlfriend she was, her heart belonged with Toni and Cheryl. As of recent, he had really started to think his belonged to Reggie. He wanted to take him on dates to Pop’s, and on drives down by Sweetwater River, and wear Reggie’s letterman jacket instead of his own.
“Guys, I think there’s something I need to tell you.” Veronica announced, rising from spot between Archie and Cheryl. She locked eyes with the two girls on her left, and then Archie.
“Ronnie?” The ginger boy asked, despite knowing exactly what was about to come out of her mouth.
“Archie it’s okay,” She said, taking in a deep breath. “You don’t need to pretend anymore. The truth is Archie and I were never together. I’m really with Cheryl and Toni.”
Kevin’s gasped slightly as Sweet Pea laughed. “I can’t believe you’ve been her beard this whole time Andrews.”
Archie smiled, “It was just so Ronnie’s dad wouldn’t be on her case, we just thought it’d be easier if everyone thought we were actually together.”
“But that wasn’t fair, on anyone.” V said, making eye contact with Reggie. “Now we all know, but this information does not leave the core group. Understand?”
The group nodded in unison, and Veronica smiled, taking a seat in between her two girlfriends.
Archie couldn’t help but think about what Ronnie said, why was she looking at Reggie when she said that? Why not him, or Cheryl, or Toni? Did she know something?
—
The group of teens quickly reverted to their own smaller conversions, and Archie had began to strum the simple tune on his guitar again.
Reggie had tried concentrating on the floral pattern he and Fangs had been spending the past half hour colouring again, but the only thing on his mind was an endless loop of glances, and smiles from Archie that could have meant more than what Reggie had originally thought.
“You okay?” Fangs whispered a few moments later.
“Yeah,” he said “Yeah, I was just thinking about something.”
“Something? Or someone?” The leather clad serpent asked, his brows raised.
“Fuck, how obvious am I?” Reggie asked, it seemed the only person who didn’t know he liked Archie, was Archie.
“No one stares at a friend the way you stare at him Reg.”
“Shut up.”
—
Cheryl smiled at the sight of Reggie and Fangs talking so freely. Perhaps Fangs was a better gay guardian angel then she could be. Though that wasn’t going to stop her from talking to Archie. She dragged her fellow red-head into the kitchen and quickly shut the door.
“Listen up Elmo. You obviously like Reggie, and you need to do something about it before one of you explodes from unspoken tension.”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Archie stuttered.
“Oh save it. I’m not dropping this until you admit that you have feelings for him!”
Archie shifted his weight, and scratched the back of his head. “Maybe I do like him, but that doesn’t mean anything, I don’t even know if Reggie is into guys.”
“Maybe, but I know he’s into you,” Cheryl said sympathetically, placing a hand on his forearm. “Just talk to him. I know it’s scary Archie, but there’s no risk without reward.”
Archie nodded, bounced a little on his heels and turned out the door. Cheryl shook her head and smiled at the innocent boy, and followed him back into the living room.
—
“Reggie?” Archie asked, standing over boy. “C-Can I talk to you for a second?”
Fangs smiled and glanced back at Sweet Pea who had an identical grin on his face. “He’s all yours Archie.”
Reggie stood, looking slightly nervous, and followed Archie out onto the front porch.
“Something wrong Arch?” He asked, leaning on the railing.
“No, no not really. I mean, kinda, but like not wrong-wrong, it’s more of a personal issue, but like not an issue-issue but-“ Archie rambled anxiously before Reggie cut him off, stepping closer to him and placing his hand on his shoulder.
“Calm down Archie. Whatever it is, you can tell me, you can tell me anything.”
Archie nodded and shifted his eyes away from Reggie and to the trees surrounding them. There was no way he could actually tell Reggie. What if he didn’t feel the same? Oh god, he could ruin everything between them, he could ruin everything for the group.
“Arch?”
The boys soft voice, filled with concern snapped Archie back to reality. He looked into Reggie’s warm, loving eyes and he knew he had to do it.
He licked his lips, grabbed Reggie’s face, and pressed his lips to his. He tasted like the watermelon gum he and Fangs were always chewing, and his lips were so soft.
—
Archie was kissing him. He was kissing Archie back. They were kissing, and he liked it. No, he more than liked it, this was the best thing he’d ever done. If Reggie had a choice he’d never do anything else ever again.
Everything was about it was supposed to feel wrong, but really he had never felt so right. His hands were in the boys hair, it wasn’t quite soft, but it wasn’t course either. He tasted like the vanilla chapstick he always carried in his letterman’s pocket. He was perfect. This was perfect.
When they first broke the kiss there was only silence; and then smiles; and then airy childish giggling.
“That was nice,” Reggie said, his hand still running through Archie’s hair.
“Really nice,”
Reggie sighed, and looked into Archie’s eyes. His innocent, loving, hope filled eyes, and he knew it would never work. Besides the fact that his parents would disown him, or even worse send him to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, in every conceivable way he was undeserving of the gingers love.
“Reggie?” The boy asked, placing his hand back on Reggie’s face and wiping away the tears Reg hadn’t even noticed he let fall.
“This isn’t gonna work Archie, and it’s not because I don’t want it, because fuck I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my life. But you deserve better than me Arch, fuck you deserve a prince fucking charming but I can’t give that to you and I’m so fucking sorry Archie. I’m sorry but I don’t want to let you down, I couldn’t live with that.” Reggie said, tears only streaming faster down his face as he went on.
Archie stood shocked, searching for the right words to say, but before he could Reggie turned on his heel and back into the lodge.
—
“What the hell happened Andrews?” Sweet Pea asked accusingly as soon as Archie opened the door. “You take him out there, and five minutes later he storms up the stairs in tears?”
“We kissed.” Archie said, slightly in shock over the events that had taken place. “And then he started crying and he told me he wasn’t good enough for me, and before I had the chance to say anything he ran back inside.”
“Fuck.” Fangs whispered, biting the nail of his thumb.
“What’re we supposed to do?” Toni asked, looking up the stairs with a worried look.
“He shouldn’t be alone.” Kevin replied.
They all looked around at each other, and it was wordlessly decided that Moose would be the first of them to go up.
—
“Reg? It’s Moose. Can I come-“ The boy began before Reggie had pulled him into the room and into a hug.
“I fucked it up Moose, I fucked it like I do everything else.” He said, his voice thick.
“Hey,” Moose said lifting Reggie’s chin so they’d be looking eye to eye. “You didn’t fuck anything up, everything is okay dude. Just talk to me, tell me what happened.”
“He kissed me,” He said, nearly choking on his words. “And I liked it.”
“That’s good! Reggie, that’s so good.”
“I’ll never be able to give him what he deserves. I’m not brave like you, or Kevin, or Sweet Pea or Fangs or Cheryl or Toni or Ronnie, I’d never be able to tell anyone. I’d never be able to tell my parents.”
“First off,” The larger boy said, overcome with the protective instinct he had always had when it came to Reggie. “I didn’t always think I’d be able to tell people either, none of us did. It’s has nothing to do with being brave, it’s just about being ready. Okay?”
Reggie nodded, giving his oldest friend a meek yet hopeful smile.
“And second, there’s nothing wrong with you Reg.”
“What?”
“You’re acting like you’re some broken little boy but you’re not. All Archie wants is you. And anything else that you think you can’t give him? You can probably do it better than any other guy he could possibly go for.”
“Mhm, I still fucked it up Moose,” The boy said “I freaked out and went off on him, I scared him away.”
Moose chuckled slightly, and shook his head.
“The only thing that would have scared him away tonight is Sweet Pea threatening him when he thought he hurt you.”
Reggie smiled, for real this time and made a mental note to thank Sweets later.
—
Long after Moose had left the room, Reggie lay sprawled across the bed with Fangs and Sweet Pea on either side of him. The three were chatting over a movie, and eating ice cream out of the tub Veronica had brought up for them.
“I love you guys, you know that?” Reggie said absentmindedly, twisting the rings on Fangs fingers.
“We love you too dork.” Fangs replied, smiling at the taller boy.
“Love you a lot more if you got your dumbass a boyfriend so the four of us could double date.” Sweet Pea scoffed, ruffling his hair.
“Shut up, you ass.”
He shoved Sweet Peas head away from his prompting another fit of giggles and fighting between the three boys.
“God you three are idiots.” Cheryl said from the door, with her two girlfriends on either side of her.
“We need to talk to Reggie,” Toni explained, causing all three boys to rise simultaneously from the king sized bed.
“Alone, so slither away little snakes.” Cheryl added, grabbing each of the other boys by the arm and leading them out the door.
“You need to talk to him Reg, you’ve had your time to sulk but now it’s time to grow the fuck up and deal with your emotions.” Toni began. “We know it’s scary Reg, but it will get easier and trust me you’ll feel a hell of a lot better.”
“And, so will your red-headed Romeo who’s been wallowing in self pity and hate for the past hour, trying to figure out how to make you feel better.” Veronica said, smiling up at him.
Reggie sighed, realizing his friends weren’t gonna let him pass so easy. “Could you send him up here then?”
“Exactly the response we were hoping for!” Cheryl exclaimed,taking each of her girlfriends by the arm. “Lover boy will be up in a New York Minute!”
Reggie took a deep breath and paced nervously across the room. He knew what he had to do. Archie had already taken a risk, it was damn time for him to do the same.
“Reg, listen I am so sor-“ Archie began before Reggie cut him off by grabbing him from the shirt and kissing him deeply.
“Don’t apologize. I wanted it, I want you, I want us.” Reggie breathed, pressing his forehead to Archie’s.
“I knew that, but you weren’t ready and-“
“Wait wait wait, how’d you know?”
“3 Saturdays ago, remember when you woke up at my house with a wicked hangover?” Archie answered smiling.
“I didn’t,” Reggie groaned, running both hands through his hair.
“Full on Nicholas Sparks declaration of love.” Archie responded, his voice laced with teasing laughter.
“Fuck,” Reggie mumbled as he broke out in his own laughter, quickly returning to his serious tone. “I meant it though.”
“You did?” Archie asked, the amusement in his voice replaced by hope.
“I did, still do. So, if you’ll have me, I would love to be your boyfriend.” Reggie asked, playing with Archie’s fingers as he looked deeply into his eyes.
“Absolutely Reggie. I want us too.” Archie said, kissing his boyfriend.
“Good, good! Now, let’s go tell everyone.” Reggie laughed, pulling the ginger out of the bedroom and down the winding stairs. Their loud giggling echosd through the wooden cabin, and both boys felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders.