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English
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Part 1 of hozier
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Taejin Archives - Seokjin X Taehyung - @BeautyxYouth
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Published:
2018-07-16
Completed:
2025-08-10
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3,595
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2/2
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525
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cherry wine

Summary:

It’s then, in that moment, that Taehyung falls in love under a cherry wine sky, when day fades to night and magic comes alive. Maybe magic is to blame for Taehyung’s confession, or maybe not. He’s willing to believe anything at this point.

or,

the taejin confession that reeks of warm summer nights

Notes:

Part of my on-going BTS writing challenge with my ult bias Mel.

prompt: taejin confession

Update 27/8/18: this fic has been translated into Vietnamese by the lovely seventhchord93. thank you so much for translating! check it out here!

Update 21/12/18: cherry wine has been translated into Russian by the awesome hlop_chan. thanks so much! i'm honored that you took the time to translate and help share my fic! click here!

Chapter 1: cherry wine

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Summers in Seoul have a way of melting everything in its path. Taehyung watches with intense longing as a single bead of sweat rolls down the length of his cherry popsicle and drips onto the sizzling concrete below. He had opened the summer treat not two minutes before. He sighs, bored and apathetic. But it’s nice, being bored.

“It’s melting,” Jimin says in way of a greeting as he joins him outside on the patio. Taehyung hums, bringing the red sucker to his lips and giving the sides a good, long lick. It stains his lips red, and he wonders if he should offer Jimin a taste. He tilts the popsicle towards Jimin and raises his eyebrows, but Jimin just shakes his head and wraps his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders. “It’s so hot.”

“It’s the first day of summer,” Taehyung supplies helpfully, “the summer solstice…it should be hot, shouldn’t it?”

It’s one of their rare days off, but besides himself, none of the other boys seem to know how to relax. Most of the other members usually dedicate themselves to some form of preparation – for what’s next, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok – or practice – for what’s to come, Seokjin, Jimin, and Jeongguk. Taehyung knows the value of rest, the importance of self-care. Right now, Taehyung can see Seokjin and Jeongguk through one of the glass walls of the dance studio rehearsing the choreography. He can see a fine sheen of sweat shimmering off of Jimin as well.

“Practice going well, Jimin-ah?” Jimin shrugs his shoulder, but Taehyung can see a faintest frown beginning to form. “No?”

“It’s fine, but I think Jeongguk-ie is getting frustrated with Jin-hyung. Jin-hyung keeps cracking jokes when he makes a mistake and Jeongguk thinks he’s not being serious.” Silence swells in Taehyungs chest, stilling the air in his lungs, and he bites his lips.

“You know Jin-hyung,” Jimin continues, “He pretends it’s funny, but I know he’s getting upset too.”

“You should have said something.” Taehyung can’t help the annoyance that creeps into his tone.

“Maybe, but I never know if Jin-hyung wants that. It might make him feel embarrassed, pointing it out.”

Taehyung is reminded of how considerate Jimin is as he considers his words. He may be right, but Taehyung’s willing to bet that, deep down, Seokjin would find being stood up for a comforting change of pace.

--

The dawn of dusk ushers in cool respite from the heat, and the twilight paints the sky with streaks of purple and red. Taehyung finds Seokjin sitting on the same wooden bench as he was a few hours earlier under the punishing sun. He’s got his headphones in and his eyes closed as he sways to the sound of music, no doubt an old-school Korean ballad. It’s one of the many things they share, their love for the classics. Maybe it’s the song he’s been covering in one of his many midnight jam sessions recently.

He stops to study Seokjin. Taehyung has always loved art, especially paintings, and the sight of Seokjin illuminated by the soft, fading sunlight and the cooling starry sky breathes fresh air into his lungs. Taehyung compares the feeling to the break in the tree line as you scale the highest mountain, the parting of the clouds beneath your feet as you reach the edge of a cliff, when the simple beauty of Mother Nature reveals itself before you. That’s Seokjin’s kind of beauty – undeniable and unattainable in its magnificence. The kind that brings you to your knees in awe.

Taehyung grins, a giddiness erupting from within him. Taehyung knows he’s beautiful; he’s got two eyes. But his beauty has been described as otherworldly, striking and fatal. The impressive kind that leaves you arrested and just a little bit afraid. Taehyung treasures the idea that he and Seokjin are two halves of a whole – perfect complements, a complete image.

Seokjin cracks open his eyes and turns to smile at him.

“Tae?”

--

The sinking sun is rapidly draining their world of color, but Taehyung doesn’t mind. There’s still plenty of light left in the sky, a brilliant mix of red, orange, and purple, and the stars are beginning to freckle the heavens. The two of them trudge quietly up the stairs, the soft glow of the fairy lights guiding them to the roof of the dorm. Taehyung has a fluffy blanket in one hand and Seokjin’s hand in the other.

“It’s so humid; I want to go inside with the A/C,” Seokjin complains without any bite. Taehyung just squeezes his hand in response, nudging open the gate with his foot and revealing the rooftop deck. It looks like it always does, strewn with throw pillows and woven rugs. Without any words, they begin to set up camp, Seokjin piling up the pillows and Taehyung dragging a rug to the center and laying down his blanket on top. They sit down, their silhouettes set against the last rays of a dying sun.

“Are you still warm?” Taehyung asks. He brings his knees to his chest and crosses his arms atop of them, burying a cheek into the crooks of his elbows and staring at Seokjin intently.

“No. Not anymore. It’s nice out, thanks for bringing me.” Seokjin gives Taehyung a radiant smile, one that starts deep in his heart, but then it falters slightly.

“Was Jimin busy? Jeongguk?” Taehyung gives him an offended look in return, confusion plain for Seokjin to see.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask them. Why?”

“Uh, no reason, really.” Seokjin lays down, letting his head fall back and takes a deep breath. He avoids the real reason, and that annoys Taehyung for some reason.

“Hyung, can you look at me?” His voice is gentle but firm. Seokjin glances curiously at him, head tilting. “Why would you think I’d ask them and not you? Why do you think you’re the backup? You’re never the backup to me, hyung.”

Something about Taehyung’s voice sends shivers up Seokjin’s spine, something possessive sleeping beneath the surface. It makes his skin crawl uncomfortably, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it. A delicious warmth blooms in his chest, and he looks away shyly.

“I want to spend time with you. Is that so surprising?”

“Not really. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with me? I’m the best.”

The subject drops, and Taehyung stretches and lays down next to Seokjin. His fingers reach out until they find Seokjin’s resting against his stomach. The skin of Seokjin’s stomach is warm as Taehyung squeezes his fingers gently. Taehyung stares at Seokjin’s peaceful face and does his best to memorize every detail, every curve and shadow, every dip and hill.

It’s then, in that moment, that Taehyung falls in love under a cherry wine sky, when day fades to night and magic comes alive. Maybe magic is to blame for Taehyung’s confession, or maybe not. He’s willing to believe anything at this point.

--

The night sky is a pastel purple by now, the pale light of the stars shining on them. Taehyung knows that Seokjin must be beet red, heat prickling under his skin, even though he can’t really see all that well. Seokjin is silent, not moving a muscle. Taehyung wonders if he’s even breathing.

“Hyung? You don’t have to answer me. I don’t expect you to feel the same.” At least for now, maybe? “It’s okay, really. I didn’t tell you this to force you to respond or anything. I just wanted you to know.” His voice is barely a whisper. Seokjin can barely hear him, but he does nonetheless. Seokjin nods, and even in the darkness, he assumes Taehyung understands.

“I understand,” is all he can muster up the courage to say. And even though the confession is unexpected, Seokjin intuitively knows he’s serious. This isn’t something he can bury beneath a joke. On the rare occasions he decides to share, he hates when people dismiss his feelings, so he wouldn’t do that to Taehyung either.

Silence descends again, but this time the air is changed. The buzz of the cicadas seem especially loud, and the breeze picks up, washing them in a warm summer wind. Taehyung’s hand twitches, craving contact, but he refrains, not wanting to make Seokjin uneasy. Seokjin can sense Taehyung’s turmoil, however, and the idea of their relationship being anything less than before is too bitter a sadness for him to bear. He turns to his side and reaches out, resting his hand on Taehyung’s neck and rubbing the sharp line of his jaw with his thumb.

“You know we can’t, right? Not now, not while we’re still Bangtan.” Taehyung finishes Seokjin’s unspoken thought. Not while Bangtan is the priority. Not while our wants come second.

“I just wanted you to know,” Taehyung repeats.

“That you love me?” Seokjin asks with disbelief.

“An honor, right?” Taehyung replies cheekily, smiling into Seokjin’s palm, and then takes a deep breath. “I wanted you to know that you make me happy— so happy— and that I want to make you as happy as you make me.” Taehyung speaks with purpose, the finality in his voice causing goosebumps to race up Seokjin’s arms. Every word feels like scripture.

“It must be nice to be you,” Seokjin scoffs, his voice playful and easy. He’s trying to steer the conversation back into familiar territory, Taehyung realizes, but that’s fine with him. He’ll gladly follow whatever path the other decides to take. He inches closer, urging Seokjin to continue.

“To say whatever you want, whenever you want. To not feel any ounce of shame or embarrassment…I wish I could do that too.” His cheeks feel hot with sincerity. “I wish I could be like you, Tae…I wish I never doubted myself, that I was as confident as you.”

Taehyung feels pain squeeze at his heart, and the words begin to tumble out of him. “Me too, hyung. I wish you could see it too. How beautiful you are, that you’re more than enough.” The praise makes Seokjin sick to his stomach in embarrassment. He’s not used to being drenched by such whole-hearted devotion, held hostage by such absolute adoration. He begins to turn his head away when Taehyung grabs his chin lightly but resolutely, drawing Seokjin’s eyes back to him.

“I wish you could tell me about the happiness and the heaviness in your heart. I want to hold those feelings in my heart too. I want you to trust me with the things that trouble you, and I want you to trust me to protect them.” There’s a ferociousness in his eyes that leaves Seokjin speechless. Taehyung’s love is overwhelming, and Seokjin thinks, not for the first time, about how happy he’d be if he could accept them without fear of consequence.

“You really don’t care what other people think, do you? You’re the strangest person I’ve ever met, Taehyung.”

Taehyung smiles, letting go of Seokjin’s chin and intertwining his fingers with Seokjin’s once more. “Mm, not really. I get shy like everyone else. People used to call me 4D, remember? Like an alien. I didn’t really like that before; I thought, I’m just me. What’s so strange about that? I’m not that different…” He begins to rub his thumb gently along Seokjin’s wrist, and lets his gaze fall to their linked hands. “But then I realized that I didn’t mind being strange, doing things differently. I’m happier that way, being myself. You should be yourself too, Jin-hyung. You’re the best when you’re yourself.”

It’s dark now, the night well on its way, so Seokjin doesn’t know why he turns his head away in awkwardness over his next words. “You’re unique, Tae. You’re special and I love that about you. How your mind works, the thoughtfulness with which you approach everything. Your confidence…I hope you never change. I would be too sad if you did.”

The wind is colder now, nipping at their skin, and Taehyung shivers a little. He drags an extra blanket over them, nuzzling closer until their foreheads are resting against each other. He clasps Seokjin’s hand between his own, reveling in the warmth they share.

--

It’s late, and Seokjin knows they should head back inside now. The other members are no doubt looking for them, but he wants to stay huddled beneath the blanket with Taehyung. He wants to spend a few more moments, staring at the stars in silence. There’s beauty in silence, Seokjin thinks, and there are very few people in the world he can share his silence with. But, Taehyung was brave enough to confess to him tonight, so Seokjin thinks it’s only fair for him to offer up a confession of his own.

“I’m faking it. Most of the time.”

Taehyung’s head pops up from beneath the blankets where he’d been resting on Seokjin’s chest. He levels Seokjin with a bored stare. “That’s obvious, hyung.”

Seokjin just rolls his eyes, jostling Taehyung off of him until they’re lying side by side on their backs, their hands still intertwined between them. “I talk about how handsome I am, how I’m a better dancer than Namjoon, how I always choose to be positive to make people happy…and it’s true. I am handsome, and I am a better dancer than Namjoon,” Seokjin adds in snootily, “and I really do choose to be positive to make others happy…”

“…but?”

“…but sometimes…sometimes I’m lying. Sometimes I don’t feel very handsome or like I'm a good dancer,” Seokjin says quietly, letting his words diffuse into the darkness. “And sometimes I choose to be blindly positive for me, to save myself from the sadness. So, I feel like I’m faking it, when I pretend that nothing bothers me…

Taehyung doesn’t say anything for a while, letting both of them ruminate on Seokjin’s confession. They just listen to the space between them that speaks louder than words. Finally,

“Hyung, I hate to break it to you, but I think we all know that. Me, Jimin, Yoongi, and everyone else…” Taehyung turns to his side to stare at Seokjin even though he can’t really see him. “But it’s okay to be selfish, once in a while. We’re all guilty of pretending, but you don’t have to pretend for our sake.” 

Seokjin tugs Taehyung closer until the younger is nestled into his side, their heats combined, and combs his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. He wonders, for the hundredth time, if happiness and honesty are two sides of the same coin or if people are destined to choose heads or tails.

“Tae?”

“Yeah?”

“When are you happiest?” Taehyung considers the question carefully.

“I guess I should probably say something romantic, like making music, or performing in front of our fans...I’m not sure though…Lately, I’m always happy, except when I’m not. But it’s like, happy is my normal?”

Seokjin squeezes Taehyungs hand and says, “That’s good…that’s good for you, Tae. I’m happy.”

“What about you?” Taehyung tilts his body and watches for Seokjin’s reaction. Taehyung has always been observant and perceptive, unnaturally so. Seokjin knows, instinctively, that if Taehyung wanted, he could run his bow across the strings of Seokjin’s soul and play him like a fiddle. That knowledge unnerves him. Strangely enough, Yoongi’s name comes to mind, and Seokjin knows he can’t lie, not to the Daegu boys. He takes a deep breath, and then –

“The sound of my own voice,” Seokjin sounds small, as if afraid of his own answer. “I’m happiest when I can hear myself, above all the noise…when the music carries my voice forward…” he trails off, a familiar disappointment weighing down his tongue. Seokjin doesn’t finish his thought, but Taehyung knows the truth left unspoken. Taehyung feels like he could cry.

He slides down Seokjin’s chest until his head is resting over his heart and waits until their blood beats in tandem. “You know how Yoongi-hyung says he likes Jimin’s voice the best?”

“Of course, he always says he has so many songs he wants to give him.” As much as Seokjin wants to be jealous, to feel envy’s heat spread within, he can’t find it in himself to be bitter. Jimin’s voice is beautiful; he won’t deny that.

Taehyung hums in agreement. “Jimin’s voice really is great. So is Jeongguk’s. Their colors are really nice, and I love their voices a lot...” He rises, raising his head until his eyes find Seokjin’s in the dark. “But, hyung, guess what I think.”

Seconds pass, silent save for their soft breaths mixing. Then Taehyung speaks, surrendering his second confession of the night.

“I think your voice sounds the best next to mine.”

--

Later that night, alone in his room, Seokjin thinks about how strange it is that even in perfect darkness, Taehyung is the light that guides him home. A lighthouse, calling him to shore; Polaris, pointing the way north. Seokjin thinks, if Hoseok is the sun, then Taehyung is surely a supernova, a burst of brilliance illuminating his little corner of the cosmos.

 

Chapter 2: author's note

Chapter Text

hi hi~

as some of you may have read in my author's note on confetti cake, i'm going through my old fics and releasing them from the void one by one! in case you don't know what happened to them, i'm going to copy & paste the story down below!

i finally got access to my account after being locked out for almost two years!

i took down all of my fics around the time BTS went on hiatus because it just felt right at the time and i am notorious for scrubbing my digital footprint every few years, because i'm whimsical and a cryptid. then, after some time, i forgot the password to not only this account but also the associated email...and the cherry on top was that the recovery phone number was my old HK number that has been long disconnected...so i literally had no way back into my account...and my frantic emails to ao3 support went unanswered...

so i just gave up LOL

the really funny part of all this is that since all of my drafts were saved to the email drive i couldn't get back into, i didn't have a copy of my own fics anywhere LOLOL so i couldn't even re-upload them to a new account if i wanted!! truly a comedy of errors...

i figured it was a sign from the universe that some things are best left forgotten. in my mind, these stories had their time to shine and i was happy to leave them in the past. so two years went by in the blink of an eye...

but then Ri found out all my fics were gone and went on twitter to try to find out if anyone had downloaded any copies and then Toibs came through like an absolute hero to save the day...(THANK YOU RI & TOIBS!!!) 

and then I went to New Zealand to visit Ri and she inspired (guilt tripped) me into trying one more time after i gave up ever getting back into this account...

and then, would you have guessed it?? ao3 support finally reset my password the exact same night I saw jin at his #runseokjin_tour.ep concert!!!! 

so i guess the universe had other plans for me :) 

it has been so long since i read my own fics that i honest to god forgot my own stories. re-reading this one felt like reading someone else's story...it really felt like i was reading it for the first time...

i'm going through all of my old fics now to figure out what i want to do with each one...whether i want to release them back into society, keep them private/delete them, publish them anonymously, or orphan them.... i had a lot of wips that were originally published anonymously too, so i'm thinking about what i want to do with those...

for now, i decided to publish this one again because it was the fic that started it all for me...i was a baby army when i wrote this fic, and i hadn't developed a strong attachment to any one particular ship. my friend gave me "confessions + taejin" as a a prompt and i just ran with it. the rest is history...

this fic has a special place in my heart, and i know it does for a lot of 'so what' era taejinnies too. special shout out to ao3 user footloosest who has been one of the loudest supporters of this fic!! their love for the line "I think your voice sounds the best next to mine" always makes my heart swell! 

but i may change my mind later, so i won't promise it'll be up forever! i don't know if anyone remembers this story or wants to read it again, but here's my public announcement to download a copy if this is you! 

i also want to sincerely thank everyone who encouraged me to write, who took the time to read this story of mine, who left me a wonderful comment or sent me a nice message of support...it truly meant more to me than you'll ever know. you all helped carry me through some tough times and gave me the energy and love i needed to put one foot in front of another. i may be retired from writing and inactive on socials now, but i look back at that time in my life with such warmth and fondness. thank you <3 

anyway, that's all from me! 

bye! 

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