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Robert woke to what he hated to see the most.
His husband was crying.
Aaron wasn’t making any noise aside from the occasional quiet sniff, and his back was to him, but he could tell by the way the hand he wasn’t laying on would come up and angrily rub at his face. Aaron was crying and he didn’t want Robert to know.
Robert took a deep breath, not as easy as it was before his carbon monoxide vape, and blinked several times to wake himself more. The room was lighter than he was used to, their suite at the B&B letting in the direct light of the full moon through the sheer coverings over the window. He could see clearly enough to make out the hands on the wall clock that which told him it was half three.
He started to turn onto his side and at the same time reached out to touch Aaron on his arm. The younger man stiffened. Robert slid his hand under his pillowed head and then pulled Aaron’s arm so that the other man rolled onto his own back. Aaron only resisted for a moment before sighing and letting himself be turned. He rubbed his fist across his eyes again before reluctantly giving Robert a watery smile.
“’S just stupid,” Aaron muttered.
Robert cupped the side of his face and bade him look at him.
“I doubt that.”
Aaron closed his eyes and turned onto his side so that he was fully facing Robert. Robert continued to gently stroke his thumb across the side of Aaron’s jaw.
“You’re fine. Liv’s fine. Seb’s fine. So, yeah… this is stupid.” He took a breath. “It just started and…”
“Aaron… You walked into your home to find what I assume would be your worst nightmare. I know it would be mine. You didn’t crumble though. You called the ambulance. You got us out the house. You saved us both. Then you stayed with me in hospital until they let me go.”
“And the point of that re-cap?”
Rob leaned forward and pecked Aaron on the lips.
“Everything is settling now. Emergency over. Maybe it was shock or adrenaline that was keeping you going before, but now, your mind’s got time to process what happened. You’re doing a hell of a lot better than I would be in your shoes.”
There was quiet for a few minutes.
“I just can’t get it out of my head. Can’t stop seeing it. Both of you just lying there. And when I couldn’t get either of you to wake up…” Aaron shuttered a breath. More tears creaked out of his eyes and fell sideways down his face. “I just can’t stop seeing it.”
Robert nodded.
“I still see you in that car sometimes. In the lake.”
Aaron knitted his brow. “You do?”
“Not often. Just, sometimes. Less over time. Sometimes I see you in that prison visiting room… broken down. Alone.”
“Basically you keep a catalogue of all the worst that’s happened to me?”
“Can’t help it. I love you. I worry. Can’t control what pops into my head of its own accord. No one can.”
“So what do you do when that happens?”
Robert slid closer to Aaron. He tipped Aaron’s head forward, as he did with his own so that their foreheads were touching. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Aaron’s breath hitched. Robert knew he recognized the movement. Rob would seemingly out of nowhere grab both of Aaron’s hands and hold them to his chest, while touching their foreheads together until they breathed they were breathing the same. Robert would release him a few minutes later, to taunts of being a soft lad. Sometimes he would smile without comment. Sometimes he’d reply with something off colour. Sometimes, if they were alone, he’d drop to his knees and show his husband exactly what a ‘soft lad’ could do. But he’d never explained it. But now Aaron knew.
“…I almost lost ya,” Aaron whispered.
“But you didn’t.” Robert brushed their noses together. “You didn’t and I’m here.” He grabbed Aaron’s hand and held it to his own heart. “I’m right here.”
They were quiet then, their breath matching each other, slow and reassuring.
“I think I need you to stay with me forever, Mr Dingle.” Aaron said quietly.
“Only if you agree to stay with me forever, Mr Sugden.”
Aaron leaned forward and brushed their lips together again.
“Deal.”
End