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"hey, johnny," dally said, walking into the room the small boy was in. "what ya' doin'?" johnny says nothing, he simply starts giggling. "what?"
"they gave me a duckie," johnny said, between laughs, holding up a miniature rubber duck.
"how come?" dally asked, holding back his laughter.
" 'cause i'm a good boy," johnny answered, still laughing.
"did you name it?" dally asked, humoring the dazed boy.
"her name is," johnny paused, thinking, then (somehow) smiled wider. "quackie!"
"quackie?" dally asked, amused.
"yes!" johnny responded. dally had never seen johnny so... joyous. most of the time, johnny was quiet and jumpy (though he could mask this pretty well when it came down to self-defense, or fighting in general). but, now, it was as if dally was in the presence of an entirely different person. this johnny was goofy, funny, happy.
johnny's current behavior reminded dally of two-bit. all laughs, jokes, and goofiness. this in of itself was funny, considering the fact that two-bit and johnny were essentially two very different people.
as humoring as this all was, dally couldn't help but not really like this johnny, because, well, it wasn't johnny. this johnny was all laughs, and generally no thought whatsoever. regular johnny, on the other hand, was quiet, observant, and, when he did talk, it was witty and thoughtful.
and that's what dally loves about him.
though he wasn't really interested in having another two-bit around, dally knew that this was temporary, and two-bit 2.0 would fade with the anesthesia soon enough.
"where'd you get that name from?" dally asked, playing the game that johnny didn't know he had set up.
"she's a duck, silly! ducks go quackie!" johnny exclaimed. dally stayed silent, observing him play with the toy, his small hands gently bobbing up and down as he made the object "dance".
he took in the boy's features as if he'd never seen them before, though he definitely had. perhaps it was the fact that dally had yet to see johnny this happy that he thought this memory deserved to last forever. however, he honestly didn't understand why this image caused him to feel the butterflies you hear about in all those cliché rom-coms. then again, this wasn't new.
dally pushed his thoughts away, choosing to focus more on caring for johnny than thinking about him. he decided that he'd move the "conversation" away from the rubber duck, and onto something less random and pointless. "so, you into any girls lately?"
the smile plastered onto johnny's face fell a bit, just enough to fill dally's mind with mild concern. "no, i'm gay."
those three simple words caused so much confusion to arise within dal. honestly, he wasn't sure if johnny was joking or not. of course, he could just call it that and play along, but, something told him that it wasn't.
maybe it was the way his smile slightly fell, the evident change of the atmosphere, or past signs that pointed to this, but, it made too much sense to not be a joke.
that's why he never went out with anyone. that's why he avoided the topic of dating when it came up in group discussions. that's why he was so isolated.
he thought they wouldn't accept him.
"that's why they beat me," he started. "that's why my folks hate me. i'm wrong." at this point, the smile was completely gone. dally wanted it back.
"they didn't want me anyways. they didn't want a kid, but, here i am."
dally didn't want to listen, but, listening was all he could do. he didn't want johnny to live like that, he shouldn't have to.
"that's why them soc's beat me, too. they knew. i don't know how, but, they did. i guess it's obvious."
at this point, he knew it wasn't a joke. however, a part of him wanted it to. not because he thought being gay was wrong, (he didn't, he himself was pansexual) but because johnny didn't deserve this. he deserved so much more than this, but, he got nothing but consistent bad in his life, and dally couldn't do anything about it.
and that killed him inside.
- - -
it was 5:30 am.
dally was awake.
he, along with the rest of the gang, were at the curtis house for one of their traditional monthly sleepovers. everyone else was asleep.
"dal?" johnny whispered, startling dallas. apparently not everyone.
"yeah?" dally responded.
"are you," johnny started, then pausing for a moment. "are you avoiding me?"
"what? why would i be avoiding you?" dal asked in response.
"i don't know, it's just," johnny rolled over from his previous position on the floor to lay on his stomach, as opposed to his back. "we haven't talked in, like, a week. since my dentist appointment. did i do something?"
"no, no, you didn't. i just," dally stopped, not wanting to bring up their last "conversation", yet still feeling the need to. "at the appointment, you said some... odd things"
"odd?" johnny asked. "how odd are we talkin' here?" odd as in you coming out to me, also telling me your experiences with homophobia, right after you talking kinda in depth about a rubber duck, dallas thought.
"uh," he hesitated. "well, it started with a duck."
"so that's where it came from!" johnny explained, semi-jokingly.
"and then, uh"
i can't do it, dally thought. i just can't do it.
"just say it, dal," johnny said, visibly tense, even in the darkness.
"you said that you're gay," dallas forced out, leaving a moment o silence for johnny to process the information given. "look, okay, it's cool. it's not a big deal to me, it changes nothing. i promise." after that, there was just the right amount of fresh sunlight piercing through the windows to see johnny's big, genuine smile.
no anesthesia needed.