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"I love you, Aominecchi."
Aomine froze. He stared at the top of the Kise's head, memorizing the way the part split his hair and the way the sun caught in those silky blond strands. The last thing he'd expected when he called Kise to meet him at the park was a confession. He expected some tears, maybe a hug, or even a kiss on the cheek (or the lips, if he was lucky).
He had never been good at expressing his feelings, but if there was one thing he knew, it was that he loved Kise Ryouta. He knew it from it the moment he'd felt that rush of adrenaline the first time he'd played the blond in a one-on-one match. He knew it in that smile, the way it made those eyes sparkle so bright they rivaled the stars. He knew it in that laugh, the way it brought out the smiles he'd thought he'd lost to teenage angst. He wasn't sure how to define their relationship, but he'd never cared for labels in the first place. He found comfort in the familiarity of the blond and Kise relished the time he got to spend with the only man he'd ever idolized.
He loved Kise, but he didn't know how to say it.
"Aominecchi?"
He jumped. How long was I staring? The silence must have been nerve wracking. He saw the way Kise sucked on his bottom lip and knew he was thinking the worst. The ace was in no better position. He had to find the right way to say it, if he could say it at all.
"I–" love you. "I'm going to America." He pulled in a sharp breath before continuing. "I got into that training camp I told you about. You know, the one that potentially prepares you for the NBA. Well, I got in and I accepted, so I'm leaving next week."
Kise stared at him. His eyes glossed over and Aomine knew he was about to cry. He tried for a smile, but that light never quite reached his eyes. "Ah... that's great!"
Aomine paused. There was something off. If anyone knew Kise best, it was him. "Ryouta, are you–"
"That's just wonderful! Aominecchi gets to follow his dream! Wouldn't it be so great if you got drafted? What team would you wanna be on? I really like the colors of–"
"Ryouta, what's up? You're rambling."
"I... I'm just really happy for Aominecchi." He wiped away the tears that started to fall. "You get to go across the ocean and see new things and meet new people. Maybe you'll meet that special someone over there."
A dark brow rose in confusion and Aomine shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about, Ryouta. Look... I wanted you to be the first to know 'cause, well, you're my best friend."
"I'm glad you told me." There was that smile again. "Maybe we can have a match one last time before you go?"
"One last time?"
Kise grabbed his hand in a grip so tight. "I'm so proud of Aominecchi!"
"Ryouta... hey... would you wanna maybe come to the airport to see me off?"
"I don't think that'd be such a good idea."
"What? Why?"
"I'm too emotional." He laughed, but the sound was so hollow it made Aomine flinch. "And I'm not good with goodbyes. Anyway, I think I'm gonna get going." He pushed himself off the bench and released the ace's hand so suddenly it fell onto the bench with a dull thud. "I'll see you before you go." He waved a goodbye and disappeared into the crowd. Aomine hadn't received that hug he'd been expecting, or that kiss, cheek or otherwise.
Kise had always been the only one who could come close to reading his mind. Yet it appeared that this time he hadn't and it was only then that Aomine realized he hadn't said the words out loud.
But...
"I love you, Ryouta."
The blond didn't hear him. He was already gone.
"I'm closing up, Daiki."
It was the janitor again. The gym had long since closed, but Aomine remained with permission from his coach and the owner of the facility. The janitors knew him on a first name basis and he found they were some of the closest people too him nowadays.
"Just a few more hoops. Then I'll go."
"No can do. You're way past your time. You're lucky I even let you stay this late."
Aomine sighed and absently dribbled the ball at his side. He spent almost every night practicing until he was kicked out when, out of all the people on his team, he needed it the least.
"Maybe you should quit this night practice thing you got going. You're gonna run yourself ragged. Then what good'll you do your team?"
Aomine snorted. "I've got more talent than my entire team combined. I'll never run ragged. Even if I do, I'll still be better than them."
The janitor chuckled. "Now I know why you're always here alone. No one likes an arrogant asshole."
"No one likes janitors either," Aomine retorted, scowling.
"Yeah, yeah." The janitors were used to his attitude. They had long since accustomed themselves to the crass way he spoke. "Why don't you ask a teammate to practice with you some time?"
"I can't." Aomine shook his head. He hadn't played one-on-one with anyone since he left home. "It's just not the same."
It had been three years.
Three years since he'd moved to America. Three years since he'd been back home. Three years since he'd seen or heard anything from Kise. To be fair, he'd made no attempt to contact the blond since he left, but he assumed Kise would be the first to ask how the move went. He assumed Kise would be the first to wish him good luck with his training camp. When he finally got drafted, he figured Kise would have some way of finding out, and even though it had been a year and a half into moving to America, he still expected a call or a text.
He received neither one.
Kise had met him the day before Aomine left for America. They played one-on-one and, of course, Kise lost. He had smiled and joked about how he wished he could've beat Aomine at least once. Aomine wanted to say he'd have the chance in the future, but the words never came.
This time he received the hug he had expected before. Kise had reluctantly slipped his arm's around the ace's waist and pressed his cheek against the curve of Aomine's shoulder. He pulled back when Aomine pressed a kiss against his forehead. He could still remember how Kise had whispered, "Guess this is goodbye" before smiling and waving his farewell.
A year and a half ago, the dream started. Every night it was the same. Kise in stark white robes, cinched tightly across his slender waist. A serene smile on those light pink lips. When Aomine reached out to him, wings spread from Kise's back. The air as he took off pushed Aomine back, back into bed. He couldn't move his legs and his arms remained immobile at his sides as Kise flew into the night sky, straight for the moon. No matter how hard he tried, he could never reach that high.
Since the dream had started, he'd been having trouble sleeping. He didn't want to wake in a sweat, knowing Kise was still out of reach.
With a resigned sigh, Aomine reached for his cell phone. He thumbed through his contacts until he came to the one name he'd been staring at year after year. He scowled at his phone and opened his text messaging application. Staring would get him nowhere. All it did was frustrate him. He was more a man of action anyway. With a grumble, he started typing out a message.
Sent to: Kise
[text]: hey[text]: i miss you(deleted)
[text]: its been a long time
[text]: that was a stupid thing to say, wasn't it? its been years[text]: i shoulda told you the truth back then(deleted)
[text]: i was thinking of coming home when i get a break and was kinda hoping maybe we could play some one on one[text]: i love you(deleted)
He regretted the messages the moment he pressed send, even more so when he received no reply. With another sigh, he tossed his phone aside and stared at the growing dent in his wall. Too many times his fist had met with the wall beside his bed. He still had the scars as proof of just how abrasive that meeting had been.
He curled his fingers into the palm of his hand and slammed his knuckles into the dent. Frustrated and more than a little dejected, he rolled off the bed, pocketed his phone and threw a jacket around his shoulders.
Fuck this. I'm getting a burger.
There was a burger joint just down the street. While it was no Maji burger, their food had become some of his favorite and the staff knew him well enough to offer nothing more than the required pleasantries before leaving him be. He usually ate his food quickly and left before anyone could recognize him. Today, he mulled over his food, watching the people pass by. He tried to tune out the conversations around him, but there was one that caught his attention. He had no choice but to hear the group of girls that packed the table directly behind him.
"I can't believe he's already on the cover of Vogue!"
The shrill squeal cut through Aomine's silence and he scowled. Another group of annoying fangirls. Dammit. Just as he was about to get up, something the girl said caught his mind.
"He's the only blond I like."
Aomine stopped crumpling his wrapper to listen.
"Ryouta is so beautiful!"
He turned in his seat. "Oi, you said Ryouta, didn't you?" All the girls looked startled as he continued. "Did you mean Ryouta Kise?"
None of them responded immediately. A few turned their faces to hide the blush on their cheeks. Finally the girl closest to him piped up. "Uh, yeah." She rifled through the plastic bag sitting in her lap and pulled out a glossy magazine. "He just made it onto the cover this week."
Aomine's breath caught in his throat. No matter how many years passed, that face would always stop his heart. He remembered those eyes so vividly, but there was something different about this picture. Kise had grown. He had fleshed out, no longer the slender, lanky teenager he had once been. Though his body was toned before, the muscle definition was much more prominent, especially when that bare skin was framed by a brilliant blue shirt. It was a color so familiar to Aomine, so similar to Kaijou jerseys Kise so often wore. His eyes moved from the distracting body to that beautiful face. There was a darkness to those eyes, and the way he bit his lip was not the way he bit it when he was deep in thought. The look screamed sensuality and he'd experienced that look before.
"Are you a fan?"
He jumped. How long was I staring? "Eh... you could say that." His eyes scanned the cover and found text in the corner about the ten page article where "Ryouta Kise Spills it All". "Hey... do you think I could borrow that for a minute? I just wanna take a look at an article."
The girl tilted her head in confusion, but slowly extended the magazine.
"Thanks. I'll give it back in a minute." He slid the magazine onto the table in front of him and thumbed through the pages until Kise's beautiful face was once again in front of him. He skimmed through the first few pages that described Kise's life before coming to America, how he started at the bottom and climbed the ladder of popularity in Japan to finally reach across the ocean and make it big in America. He paused when he came across the section about Kise's love life.
Kise: I'm an open book right now, so I'd take advantage if I were you.
Interviewer: So Ryouta, are you in love?
Aomine pulled in a sharp breath. He hated to see someone be so familiar with the blond. Then again, they were in America. People weren't accustomed to addressing others only by their family name.
Kise: Ehe... I wasn't expecting that one.
Interviewer: I'm sure all your adoring fans are wondering what kind of girl can win your heart.
Kise: Ah, well... I've been in love before, yeah. I mean, I guess I'm still in love. But love is painful. I guess I'm not really in the market for someone right now. (laughs) No offense to all the lovely ladies out there.
Interviewer: I bet I speak for all our readers when I say that you're quite the catch. Whoever that lucky person is, I'm sure you can win their heart back.
Kise: (laughs) I'm a little too late for that.
The table shook as Aomine slammed a palm against the open page. The words barely sunk in before he turned and slid the magazine back onto the table behind him. "Thanks again." He said, sliding off the bench. "Do you know what agency Ryouta works at?"
"Oh... uh... No. I haven't really done my research." The girl tapped her manicured fingernails against the table, grating on the ace's frayed nerves.
"You gotta have some ideas."
"Well, there's only one in the area that I know about. It's not far from here. If you just go down–"
"Nope. Got it. Thanks." He took off. If there was only one in the area, it was the one he was thinking of. He hoped it was the right place. Prayed he'd find the blond he was looking for.
He still loves me. He still fucking loves me.
It had been a long time since he pushed himself so hard. He was naturally quick on his feet, but now each step was jarring and made his legs scream in protest. He hadn't thought to be running in these old, ragged gym shoes. Still, he kept going, despite the need to break for air.
He turned the corner to the street he was seeking and saw a group of black suited security guards ushering an individual into a large, sleek building. One glance upward and he caught sight of the name of the agency he was searching for. He planned to sneak in with them when he saw a flash of blond hair amongst the sea of black.
"RYOUTA!"
He slammed into the hard chest of a thick, gruff-faced security guard. The man grabbed Aomine's wrist and pushed him back. "Where do you think you're going? Mr. Kise has no more interviews for today and no fans are allowed in the building."
"Yeah, yeah. I gotta talk to him for a minute. I'm an old friend." He tried to step around the man, but was blocked once again.
"Do you know how many times I've heard that? It ain't workin' this time, punk."
Aomine dipped his shoulder downward and drove it into the man's gut. The security guard doubled over, but he was quick despite his size and he caught Aomine's arm before he could dart around.
"RYOUTA! LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!" he roared as the security guard shoved him back. He stumbled, but not before those golden hues met with his own.
"... Aominecchi?"
The man turned his head and stepped aside as Kise moved forward. "I was trying to get rid of him, Mr. Kise, but he's a persistent one."
"It's okay." Kise turned and his lips twitched into a faint smile. "I can handle this. Please, go inside."
Though they were reluctant, the group of security guards obeyed and slowly made their way into the building.
Aomine bent forward, hands braced on his knees as he fought to catch his breath. He saw Kise step forward and tentatively reach a hand out, placing it on his shoulder.
"Aominecchi, what did you do? It looks like you ran a marathon."
"I had to... I... saw a picture... your picture... and I had... I knew you were... had to find you..." He could barely form a coherent sentence in his mind, let alone find the breath to say it out loud.
Kise pulled his hand back and put a small distance between them. "A picture? Of me?"
Aomine nodded and straightened as his breathing slowly evened. "I saw your picture... the one in the magazine."
"Why are you here?"
"'Cause I saw your picture."
Kise sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. "That doesn't tell me anything, Aominecchi. Why did you come here? How did you know I was here?"
"I saw your–" His action mirrored Kise's, palming his forehead and dragging the hand down his face. "Look, I took a wild guess and assumed this was where you worked. I had to come when I found out you were here. I ran all the way from this burger joint by my apartment, so I was out of breath."
"Why?"
"I had to see you." He grit his teeth and shook his head. "I had to... I... I made a mistake a long time ago and I just... when i found out you were here I had to find you no matter what it took. I've spent years wondering... but it doesn't really matter if I wonder 'cause it doesn't change the fact that I didn't say what I should've said to you." He hissed a string of profanities and palmed the nape of his neck. "I'm not good at this shit, Ryouta. I don't even know how to say what I want to say."
Kise took a step back. Aomine could see the confusion set deep in those golden hues. "I don't know what you're trying to say. Not good with what?"
"Feelings." He growled his frustration and tried to continue. "I made a mistake. I should've told you long ago how I felt. But I didn't know how to say it. I wanted to tell you that I wanted you to wait. That I would come back. I took this opportunity so I could make something of myself. I wanted to make a living here, to start a life. And I wanted to come back and get you. I wanted you to be a part of this life." He locked his eyes on the copycat's. If he wasn't saying the right words, it wouldn't matter. Kise was always good at reading others when he looked into their eyes. Eyes are a window to the soul, after all, and Aomine's soul was indefinitely tied to Kise's just as it was tied to basketball. There was no way he was going to risk severing that tie again. "You're the only person I could see myself with because... I don't know... you were the only one that made me feel like I was alive. Like I had my own personal sun. When I left, it was like I couldn't find the sun anymore. I didn't see a point to anything. What good was my dream without the one person I wanted to share that shit with? I just... goddamnit... none of this is making sense, is it?"
Kise's eyes were wide and his hand was pressed so tightly over his mouth, his knuckles were turning white. Tears beaded at the corners of his eyes, but Aomine could see that he was trying hard to hold them back.
"Ryouta... I love you. I should've said it before. I just didn't know how to. I loved you three years ago and I still love you now." Finally saying those words was like lifting the heaviest weight from his shoulders. All weights would be dropped if the response was favorable.
"You... you didn't say it."
"I know..." It sounded like a lame response, even to him.
"Do you know how much that hurt me? I... I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to talk to you because I wouldn't be able to hold in my emotions. I started working all the time. I dropped everything else in my life so I could work myself half to death. I didn't want the time to think. Then I ended up here of all places, where you were." Tears rolled down his cheeks now. No matter how many times Kise wiped them away, they kept falling.
"I know I hurt you. I've never hated myself for something more than that." He frowned and palmed the nape of his neck. "I know I hurt you, but I want to fix it. I know I have three years to make up for, but I have a lifetime to do it, if you'll give me the chance. I know it'll be hard, but I'm willing to do whatever the hell it takes to make sure you're happy. But I want you to be happy with me. I can't lose you again. I will camp outside here day in and day out if I have to, until you give me a chance. I finally found you and I'm not gonna let go, Ryouta."
Kise stared at him. The silence that hung between them was so palpable. It weighed him down and felt so much like rejection that Aomine clenched his fists, ready to turn and run. Then he saw Kise pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. Such a small gesture, but it gave him a hint of confidence. If Kise was thinking about it, then maybe... just maybe...
"Ryouta?" He took a hesitant step forward. When Kise didn't step back, he took another. "Ryouta, please." Another step. "Please..." And another. "What is there to think about?"
He took another step forward and was almost within reach. He had to fight the urge to throw his arms around the blond, too afraid that Kise would bolt. Then he was offered the blond's hand.
Kise slowly extended his arm and waited. Without hesitation, Aomine's fingers slipped between his and pulled him forward. Kise buried his face against Aomine's chest. His body shook with unrestrained sobs. Aomine peppered kisses on the side of his head and whispered reassurances against the blond's ear.
"There's nothing to think about." Kise finally choked out. "I know what I want."
Aomine sighed and his body finally relaxed. His arms tightened around the blond's shoulders and he buried his face against Kise's neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne and faint, sweet scent that was all Kise. He didn't care if people were watching. Let them watch. Kise Ryouta was his.
"Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of an angel on the moon," he whispered.
"Then lasso the angel and bring him back to earth," Kise whispered back, once again in tune with the ace.
Aomine chuckled and pulled back enough to look into those golden eyes. He didn't realize how much he had taken that unique color for granted. "I think I already have." He sealed the acceptance with a kiss.