Work Text:
“Is everything okay?” Kara asks quietly, glancing over to the balcony where Carter sits with a book on his lap and unfocused eyes. Cat follows her gaze, her own eyes softening even as her lips tighten.
“He was supposed to go to Japan next week,” she says, letting out a heavy sigh. “Thomas has a conference but it was supposed to last just a couple of days, and they were going to spend the rest of the trip together.”
“He was really excited about it,” Kara murmurs, heart sinking as she puts the pieces together. It’s hardly the first time Cat’s ex-husband has dropped the ball when it came to their son, but Carter’s been talking about this for months. “What happened?”
Cat leans back in her chair, hands fluttering a little helplessly on the armrests. “Work, I suppose,” she says, the sneer on her face suggesting just what she thinks of that explanation. “He’s still going to Japan, of course, he just doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Carter to come with him. And I’d take him, but I thought he was going to be gone, so…”
She trails off rather than finishing the sentence, but Kara knows how she makes a point of packing her schedule when Carter is away. She fills it with late night dinners, stressful meetings, and everything that will keep her annoyed, distracted, and gone in ways she never wants be when Carter is around. Normally, it’s a good thing.
And it’s not like Kara doesn’t remember what happened the last time she spoke without thinking or that she even really expects Cat to say yes, but Cat looks as lost as she ever does, there are soft sniffling sounds coming from the balcony, and somehow she can’t stop herself. “He could come with us,” she blurts out.
Cat blinks at her.
“To Comic Con, I mean," Kara continues, dimly realizing how quickly she's speaking. "Next week. Me and Winn and Alex.” She stops when she realizes that she’s lost control of complete sentences, but can’t quite bring herself to regret opening her mouth in the first place.
“Comic Con?” Cat raises an eyebrow. “In San Diego?”
Kara nods eagerly, taking a seat in the chair in front of Cat’s desk. “Winn got us tickets last year,” she says. “I mean, not one for Carter, obviously, but I’m sure you could get him one. And he’d have a good time, I think? I know he’s into comics, and Doctor Who, and I think there’s a superhero panel…”
(She knows there’s a superhero panel. Alex has already forbidden her from crashing it as Supergirl.)
Cat looks a little amused but isn’t dismissing the idea out of hand, which tells Kara exactly how out of options she must be. They’ve come a long way, the two of them, and Kara knows that Cat trusts her with her life, but trusting her with her Carter is a different thing altogether. Especially after the last time. Still, she doesn’t say no, and Kara can’t help the warm feeling that swells in her chest as she realizes that Cat is seriously considering it.
“And where would you be staying?” Cat asks, leaning forward a little as she turns the idea over in her head.
“Um.” Kara thinks quickly, because no matter how convinced she is that Cat knows her secret she’s not about to give her the honest answer, which is that she planned to fly them over from National City each morning. “An Air B&B?”
Cat raises that same eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, but doesn’t call Kara on it. “Next week is going to be hell but I can come get him Friday night or Saturday morning,” she says slowly, clearly thinking it through. “I’ll pay you, of course. But Kara -” she hesitates.
“I know,” Kara says hurriedly, “I know it didn’t go well last time, but Ms. Grant, I promise - I promise he’ll be fine. I won’t take my eyes off him. None of us will.”
“It’s not that,” Cat counters. “Well, not entirely. Are you sure? This is your vacation, I can’t ask you to give it up to babysit Carter just because his parents don’t have their acts together.” There’s a little bitterness in her voice, and it make something twist in Kara’s stomach.
She shakes her head. “You’re not asking, I’m offering. And it’s not like that. Carter’s such an amazing kid, and it’s not your fault that his dad bailed again. I think he’d have a good time, and I’d really like him to come with us. I’d like to spend time with him.”
Cat’s breath catches on the inhale, and she squeezes her fingers more tightly over the armrests. Kara waits, holding her own breath, as Cat glances at Carter once more and then seems to come to a decision.
“I’ll talk to him,” she says at last. “If he’d like to, then yes, that would be wonderful. Thank you, Kara.”
***
Carter is quiet when Cat brings it up that night. She’s careful not to push one way or another, not wanting him to feel like she, too, is trying to hand him off to someone else for the week, but trying, as she always does, to be as honest with him as possible.
“I think you’d have a good time, sweetheart,” she finishes, leaning back in her chair. “I wish that I could take you somewhere, but…” She trails off, swallowing hard. He knows how that sentence ends only too well.
“I like Kara,” he finally says, not quite meeting her eye. He twists the napkin in his lap, wrapping one corner around his finger. “And Comic Con sounds cool.”
“It does,” Cat agrees, pointedly not thinking about massive crowds and the endless opportunities for Carter to vanish into them. “And I’ll join you as soon as I can.”
Carter nods, twisting the napkin tighter and staring determinedly at the table. With a gentle hum, Cat catches his wrist and pulls the napkin away.
“Carter,” she says, a tight, unpleasant burning in her throat. “Carter, I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t what you wanted, and I know it’s not fair to you.”
When he meets her gaze his eyes are as blue as the day he was born, and glassy. Cat’s hand tightens on his wrist.
“Why did Dad change his mind?” he whispers, voice breaking a little over the last word.
The rage is white-hot, almost overwhelming. It catches in her chest and she breathes through it, closing her eyes just long enough to shove it to the back of her mind to deal with later. “I don’t know, darling,” she says, her voice almost as unsteady as his as she strokes a thumb along the inside of his arm. “I wish I did. Your father…” she hesitates, careful not to say anything she’ll regret later. “He cares about you,” she settles on, knowing how hollow it sounds. “But I don’t think he always knows what to do with you.”
It's true, if not the whole truth, and Carter seems to recognize that. "Yeah," he mutters thickly, swiping at his eyes with his free hand.
“Come here,” Cat murmurs, moving to the other side of the table to sit next to her son and wrap an arm around him. He leans into her, and she feels tears dampening the neckline of her dress. Her fingers comb through his hair and she remembers holding him like this as a baby, the way he’d fall asleep on her lap and how she’d often fall asleep herself, never quite able to regret the aches and pains that came from spending the night on the couch or an armchair.
Those nights, Thomas would usually cover them with a blanket. He’d been a good husband, Cat has to admit - he’d loved her in a way that no one else had, and some part of her thinks that if Carter hadn’t been born, they might have made it. They might be sitting at this same table, laughing over wine and the meal he’d have cooked while Cat finished up at work, and it would be easy and comfortable, everything she’d never known in a relationship before him.
But she’d wanted another chance, a child, and so Thomas gave her Carter like he gave her everything else she wanted, not bothering to tell her that it wasn’t something he wanted until it was too late.
And nothing - no number of nights spent alone, of scraped knees and fevers and the indescribable, constant terror of her son existing in a world that she can’t control - nothing could make her regret a single moment of what brought her to this moment: heartbroken and helpless but here, holding him, hating the thought of ever having to let go.
***
“This is amazing,” Winn marvels from the doorway of the hotel room. Even Alex looks impressed. Carter alone looks nonplussed, perhaps unaware of how many strings even his mother must have had to pull to land rooms like this less than a week before the biggest entertainment event of the year.
The room has floor to ceiling windows that look out over the long waterfront, where sailboats bob along the horizon, and the sun sparkles over the bay. Already the boardwalk is packed with con-goers; Kara alone can pick up the excited chatter that dominates the Gaslamp district.
The rooms themselves - booked by Cat at the last minute after she told Kara in no uncertain terms that her son would not be staying in a stranger’s basement - are large, open and airy, and joined by a door in the middle. Each has two queen-sized beds as well as a television, desk, and bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi tub. Kara's pretty sure that she could spend the entire weekend just in the hotel and call it a win.
Even so they don’t linger, instead making their way to pick up their badges (all with press credentials, again courtesy of Cat) and take advantage of the smaller Preview Night crowds to wander the Exhibit Hall. Already it’s bordering on overwhelming - the most well-designed event still can’t keep tens of thousands of people particularly organized, and Kara doesn’t mind that Carter sticks close to her. It helps to focus on him. His heartbeat, his slightly rapid breathing - everything else falls to the background as they navigate the floor, stopping occasionally for Winn to gawk over exhibits or at a particularly interesting booth.
“What do you think?” Alex asks at one point, hefting a giant sword from one of the display tables and winking at Carter. “Not too bad, right?”
“I think you have enough toys at work,” Kara says firmly, a little wary at how wide Carter’s eyes have gotten.
He’d been quiet when they first left, but it had been a long drive and Winn’s easy, excited chatter had won him over quickly enough. Alex had taken a little longer, but when she’d mentioned a Science of Superheroes panel that she was curious about, he’d perked up. Over the next several hours, Alex had frankly delighted in positioning herself as Carter’s new badass, genius, non-superpowered hero. (Kara had only pouted a little bit.)
It’s nice to have an extra couple of eyes on him, but Alex, at least, does not have any healthy sense of fear when it comes to how Cat would react to finding out that her son had been allowed near deadly weapons of any kind. Winn seems to have the same thought, and catches Kara’s eye before half-shouting over the crowd, “Hey, is that a Supergirl poster?” and gesturing towards a booth a few aisles over.
Kara can’t help the smug little smile she shoots Alex as Carter promptly makes the purchase.
***
The line for Hall H, where the biggest panels will be held, is already snaking out past their hotel when they walk outside Thursday morning. Before inviting Carter, Kara and Winn had talked about camping out in line one night (Alex had flatly refused), but now - armed with the credentials Cat had arranged for them - they walk straight through the press door into the cavernous hall just in time for the Doctor Who panel.
"That was incredible," Carter gushes afterwards as they make their way down the street in search of lunch. "She's so cool."
”I think Supergirl has competition for his favorite alien,” Alex teases, nudging Kara.
Kara just shrugs - she'd cheered as loudly as Carter when the Thirteenth Doctor had made her entrance. "Whatever," she says. "Supergirl probably loves Doctor Who. She'd probably want to team up with her." Next to her, Winn mouths OH MY GOD CAN YOU DO THAT?, and Kara grins.
"It's not a competition anyway," Carter interjects. "The Doctor's awesome and all, but Supergirl's real."
“Yeah, Alex,” Winn chimes in, ducking out of Alex’s reach. “No one compares to Supergirl, come on. I hear she might even crash the superhero panel on Saturday.”
Carter stops dead. Kara quickly ushers him out of the street, finding a spot on the sidewalk where they won’t be mowed down by someone in a seven foot costume. He barely seems to notice. “You’re kidding.”
“Of course he’s kidding,” Alex says sharply, giving Winn a death glare over Carter’s head. “Sorry, Carter, that wasn’t funny. You know Supergirl doesn’t like to leave National City.” She pinches Winn on the arm, hard enough that he yelps.
“Ouch! Ouch, sorry, Carter,” he says hastily, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t mean - it was just a rumor, probably not true at all. But it should be a good panel anyway, right?” He looks pleadingly at Kara.
Kara nods, slinging an arm around Carter’s shoulder. “Yeah, it’ll be great,” she assures him. He smiles obligingly, but disappointment lingers in his eyes - Alex sees it too, and she throws Kara a look as they start walking again.
Kara pretends she doesn’t see it.
They split up the next day, Winn to one of the smaller video game panels and Alex lingering in the hotel room, ostensibly to rest her feet but more likely, Kara suspects, to call Maggie. If that gives Kara some time alone with Carter, that’s an unspoken kindness.
They wander aimlessly for the most part. The Exhibit Hall has gone from simply chaotic to completely overwhelming so they steer clear, instead braving one of the endless lines that even Cat’s influence can’t spare them. The ice cream at the end of it is worth it, Kara decides, and the sparkle in Carter’s eyes as he swears not to tell his mother even more so. “We had vegetables on the pizza yesterday,” he tries to reassure her, but Kara just winces. Eliza hadn’t been a fan of that particular excuse, and she imagines Cat will be even less so.
“You like Adventure Time, right?” she asks as they make their way back towards the convention center. “I think they have a panel starting soon if you want to check it out.”
Carter shrugs, not looking particularly enthused. “I think I’d rather just hang out,” he says, sounding shy like he hadn’t since they first picked him up. “I can watch it online later.”
“Sure,” Kara agrees, giving him an easy smile. “You want to find a place to sit? We haven’t had a chance to do much people watching yet, and that’s the best part.”
There aren’t any free benches but they’re able to find a patch of grass not far from the main strip, a little shade offering relief from the sun. Kara’s been religious about making Carter apply sunscreen (going so far as to apply it herself just to set an example), but he’s still pink around his ears and cheeks.
Kara’s never been great with silence but she sits in it with him, resisting the urge to fill it with eager chatter. He seems content if contemplative, grinning every once in awhile when a particularly outrageous cosplayer walks past. At one point a family wanders by, harried parents trying to keep track of four kids dressed as different superheroes; Kara melts just a little at the tiny Supergirl and Superman, clearly arguing about something.
“Alex is your foster sister, right?” Carter asks suddenly. He's watching them too, she realizes, with something like longing.
She shifts, wincing as she realizes she’s probably getting grass stains all over her clothes. “Yeah,” she says. “Her family adopted me when I was thirteen.”
“So you were an only child before that?”
He tears his gaze away but doesn't meet hers, staring instead at the flat expanse of grass before them.
Kara nods. “Yeah. I always wanted a brother or sister, but where I grew up…” She pauses, choosing her words carefully. “It didn’t make sense to have more than one child,” she settles on. “I was really close with my parents, though.”
Carter nods jerkily, just in time for Kara to realize that was probably the wrong thing to say.
“I’m really sorry you weren’t able to go to Japan with your dad,” she tells him quietly, figuring there’s no sense in beating around the bush. “I know you were excited about it.”
“I don’t even like him that much,” Carter says, clearly trying to sound offhand about it. “I love him, ‘cause he’s my dad, but he’s not…” He swallows hard, clenching his jaw to stop it from quivering. “I just wish he liked me."
Kara shifts again, closer this time. “I don’t know your dad,” she admits, resting a gentle hand on Carter’s back - he’s stiff but doesn’t seem to mind it, so she leaves it there. “But I do know that anyone who doesn’t see how amazing you are is missing out. And I know it’s not the same, but your mom loves you more than anything else in the world.” She pauses, then adds, “And I love you, too.”
She says it to make him feel better, but it’s true, she realizes with sudden clarity. She loves Carter. She love the way his curls stick up in the morning and the fact that he has a favorite pen to do his homework with. She loves that he’s been to four different schools in the time that she’s known him, that he keeps trying even though it's harder every time. She loves that when he decided he wanted a cat, he chose the smallest of the litter and named her Susan. She loves his sweet, gentle soul, and she loves how much of Cat she sees in him, how much of Carter she sees in Cat, now that she knows where to look.
And maybe she’s not his parent, or even anything close to it (no matter how easily she can picture it sometimes, having a place in his life besides his mom’s former assistant - no matter how much she wants it) but she hopes it counts for something.
Carter doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at her, but he leans into her side and lets her wrap her arm across his shoulders. They sit like that for a long time.
***
The knock on the door comes late Friday night, not long after Carter’s fallen asleep in the next room. Winn unfolds himself from the desk chair to answer it.
It’s not room service.
“Ms. Grant!” he squeaks, and promptly clears his throat. “Uh, Ms. Grant. Hi!”
Kara, who’d been lying on her stomach flipping through one of the free comic books she’d been handed at some point, twists upright at something just short of superspeed. “Ms. Grant!” she gasps, rushing towards the door.
“Is there an echo in here?” Cat demands, stepping past Winn and Kara both to take in the chaos of the room before her - half-unpacked suitcases, the remains of several board games, four room service trays, and Alex, watching warily from her own bed. “Where’s my son?”
“He’s asleep,” Kara says, gesturing towards the door to Carter’s room and her own Wonder Woman-patterned pajama pants. “We thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow.”
Cat shrugs, a little defensively. “I was able to get away a little early. I texted you,” she adds pointedly - Kara glances at her phone, which had died earlier in the day and then sat untouched for three hours after being plugged in.
“We’ve been playing games,” Alex says, still lounging comfortably against her pillows.
Kara shoots her a look. “Sorry,” she mumbles. “I don’t - do you want to wake Carter up? I don’t know where you’re staying or, you know, what you’re doing, but he just fell asleep. It’s been a really long day, and the science panel is pretty early tomorrow -”
Cat’s eyebrows pinch. She’s perfectly put together, of course - she's still dressed for work in a cream dress, a blazer, and heels that make Kara’s feet hurt just looking at them - but she looks a little ruffled, her eyes a little glazed. “I’d rather not wake him if he’s asleep,” she concedes. “What time tomorrow? I have a room a few floors down so I can pick him up whenever he wakes up.”
“Pick him up?” Alex asks, frowning. “He’s been looking forward to this panel.”
Winn stares between Cat and Alex like he’s not sure if he should be scared or excited.
“We’re really happy to take him, Ms. Grant,” Kara cuts in, fingering with the drawstring of her pajama pants. “I mean, if you want to come too, of course…”
Cat stares at her. “I couldn’t ask you to -”
“You’re not asking,” Alex cuts her off. Cat looks startled for half a second, then simply irritated as she swings to face Alex, who ignores Kara and Winn’s identical panicked faces and continues talking. “We’re having a good time with him, and he seems to be having fun. We all want to do the science and superhero panels tomorrow, so why not let him come with us?” There’s a challenge in her voice, and for a moment, Kara is genuinely afraid for Cat’s reaction.
It’s quiet, when it comes - a long exhale, like she’s letting the frustration drain away. “I just meant that I could take him,” she says with only a slight edge to the words. “You’ve already given up half your trip, I don’t want to ask any more of you.”
Kara shakes her head, stepping a little closer to Cat. “We love having him around,” she says quietly. “If you want to spend the weekend just the two of you that’s fine, we totally get it, but it’s not a burden or anything to spend time with him.” She tries to put a little emphasis on the last words.
It seems to work because Cat goes very still and quiet, eyes glassy as she searches Kara’s face for - something. Whatever it is she seems to find it, because she nods once, a short, strained motion.
“Thank you,” she murmurs, looking as brittle as Kara’s ever seen her, and uncharacteristically hesitant as she continues. “I’d like to join you, if that’s all right. To spend time with Carter.”
Unexpectedly, it’s Winn who answers. “That’d be great,” he enthuses, sounding genuine enough, even as he looks as shocked as everyone else to realize that he’d spoken. “I mean, Carter would love it,” he adds, a little more sedately.
“He’s right,” Kara agrees, looking back at Cat. “We all would.”
She smiles hopefully, stomach in inexplicable knots that turn into something soft and fluttery when Cat smiles back.
***
Carter throws himself into Cat's arms as soon as she steps through the door the next morning. “Mom!” he cries, and she holds him tightly, breathing in the scent of sunscreen and hotel shampoo.
When he pulls back - sooner than she’d like, but that’s the way of it - he’s beaming, and behind him, so is Kara. “You look good, Ms. Grant,” she grins, giving her casual outfit an appreciative once-over. It’s brazen - had they been at the office Cat would have called her out - but her son is reaching for Kara’s hand as easily as he reaches for her own, and she allows herself the warm gratification even as she scoffs.
“You look - bright,” she offers in response, eyeing the group warily.
Even the sister is wearing color for the first time since Cat’s met her, a bright gold logo on her t-shirt that she recognizes vaguely as being from Star Wars; Carter’s (clearly new) backpack has some sort of face on it. Winn (she supposes that she can call him that, now that he’s not working for her) has what might well be the most hideous cardigan she’s ever seen, which is a high bar to clear - it’s red, and covered in a pattern of what look like spaceships. Or possibly Christmas trees. She can’t tell for sure.
Kara, meanwhile, is wearing a bright yellow sweater with a badger on the front, and shorts that barely reach mid thigh. She looks objectively ridiculous. Cat can barely take her eyes off her.
She sticks close to Carter as they make their way to one of the smaller ballrooms, listening more than participating in the active discussion about the science of...light phasers, or something. It’s impressive, she has to admit - Alex and Winn spout off technobabble that she can barely make sense of, though Carter seems to follow along well enough, interjecting on occasion as the discussion turns to heated debate.
“They’re always like this,” Kara says, watching them fondly. “You should have heard them talking about wormholes earlier.”
“Sorry I missed that,” Cat replies wryly. A slight smile plays on her lips as Carter says something that makes Winn give him a high five. “He really is having fun, isn’t he?”
Kara gives her a sideways glance. “Yeah,” she agrees. “More now that you’re here, I think. He missed you.”
“Well, of course he did,” Cat huffs, but something in her chest loosens all the same.
After the panel - which is entertaining enough, if mostly lost on her - they have a couple of hours to kill before the day’s big event: the Superheroes Among Us panel in Hall H.
“People have been in line for three days already,” Carter informs her, and Cat nearly chokes on her coffee.
“Who’s on this panel?” she asks hoarsely, taking the napkin Kara produces from nowhere. “What, is Batman hosting?”
Carter shrugs. “There are some scientists, and people who have worked with some of them,” he says. “And a couple of smaller heroes. Like, sidekicks. It’s all about how they became heroes and what they do.” He pauses. “I think a lot of people are hoping there might be surprise guests. That happens sometimes.”
Cat shoots a sideways glance at Kara, who pretends not to notice. Next to her, Alex sighs.
They skip the line - Winn takes the chance to thank Cat profusely for their CatCo press credentials - but even so, the hall is packed. “You can’t see very well from the press pit,” Kara says. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to get seats together, though.” She seems unconcerned, and Cat’s suspicions grow as she cheerfully suggests that Cat and Carter see if they can find seats together and meet up with the rest of them afterwards.
They’re able to snag decent seats when the Warner Brothers panel ends - and the newest issue of CatCo magazine will certainly be talking about that, because Johnny Depp is not what she had in mind when it came to surprise appearances - and a few audience members take their leave. She doesn’t see where Kara, Winn, and Alex have ended up, but she doesn’t look too hard. She’s sure she’ll see Kara, at least, sooner than later.
“You know,” she says to Carter, leaning close so that he can hear her over the crowd, “I’m surprised they didn’t ask me to be on this panel. I’m Supergirl’s media manager, after all.”
He snorts, laughter sparkling in his eyes, and she nudges him in mock outrage. “I’m serious!” she insists. “I could moderate it, at least.”
“Maybe next year, Mom,” he says soothingly, and while she’s mostly joking, she puts a pin in the idea to come back to later.
The panel is comprised of a reporter from Gotham, a scientist with ties to the Justice League, the editor of an anthology cataloging various superhero rescues, and a police officer from Metropolis who doesn't look altogether thrilled to be there. It's a little lackluster even when the Blue Beetle makes his entrance, followed by a fully-suited up Booster Gold. Gold flies a couple of laps around the room, at least, which goes a ways towards energizing the crowd.
He's a charming enough presence, and the panelists have enough stories and insider knowledge to keep the audience engaged if not on the edge of their seats.
It's the reporter - Ashara something - who draws Cat's attention. She's quiet for the most part, laughing at all the right moments and interjecting here and there, but it's not until the Beetle has finished showing off his latest gadget that she leans forward.
“You know, I'm glad you showed us that,” she says, “because it's important to remember that with the right resources, the right technology, anyone can do what superheroes do. In theory, at least. What makes them really super is that they commit to it. They use whatever resources they have to help people, to put themselves at risk in service of others. It helps to have powers or awesome gadgets, for sure -” the audience laughs - “but it takes a lot more than that.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Supergirl agrees from where she’s suddenly sitting at the end of the table.
The entire hall erupts. Carter shrieks, yanking Cat’s arm so hard it nearly jerks out of its socket, and stamps his feet in excitement so palpable that Cat could burst from it. On stage, Kara laughs delightedly. Her hair falls in perfect curls down her shoulders, cape billowing behind her as she stands and waves.
“Hi, everyone!” she beams, offering a hand to the panelists, who seem as starstruck as everyone else (apart from Gold, who simply looks put out). “I’m sorry to crash the panel, but I heard this is where the action’s happening today and wanted to say hi. Is everyone having a good convention?”
The roar is practically deafening at this point. Cat can feel the vibrations in the floor; a couple of rows ahead of them, a little girl has climbed to stand on top of her seat. “Awesome,” Kara says happily. “You know, I’ve actually been wandering around a little bit this weekend…” She says it conspiratorially, like she’s letting them all in on a great secret. “I’ve been with some friends and it’s been so much fun. I love how passionate everyone is, you know? If the rest of the world could have this kind of energy, I’d spend a lot less time fighting bad guys.” She pauses, offering a sly smile. “Maybe next time, I should just show them an episode of Star Trek and see if that can’t put them in a better mood.”
Cat rolls her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek.
“Anyway,” Kara goes on, “I just wanted to thank you guys for coming out, and these guys for a great panel.” She waits for the applause to die down before growing more serious. “Ashara’s right, you know. You guys all know who I am because I can fly, and that’s pretty cool, but there are so many people who do just as much good as I do every day. The people I work with, even the people I save, are every bit as brave as I am. Even more than I am, sometimes.”
There’s no way a normal human could have found them in the crowd, but Cat isn’t surprised when Kara looks directly at her and Carter. “You guys are my heroes,” she says, so earnestly that Cat feels a lump rising in her throat. “We all deal with difficult situations. We all know what it’s like to be scared, and hurt, and lonely. And sometimes it’s really easy to want to give into those feelings.”
“But being strong - being a hero - is about not letting those feelings rule you,” Kara continues. “It’s about choosing hope over fear, and letting people in even after you’ve been let down. And it’s about always making sure you extend a hand to someone who might need it, because you never know if they might end up being the one to save you.”
The hall is quiet now, and a distant part of Cat can’t help but appreciate how Kara commands her audience. She’s known for some time now that her awkward former assistant is also the protector of National City, and the closer she’s gotten to both of them, the easier it’s been to reconcile. There are moments, though, when it seems impossible to bridge the gap between the two personas.
She thinks about Kara this morning in a sweater one size too big, sleeves slipping down almost to her fingers, and the look on her face when she’d snatched her sister’s frappuccino to lick the whipped cream from the top. She thinks about Kara last night, the thin line of skin between her tank top and pajama pants, the messy sheets of her bed and how easily she’s stayed friends with the boy who was once in love with her. She thinks about Kara in her office, insisting that Carter should spend the week with her, and the way Alex insisted he stay beyond that, the way Kara insisted they both do.
She thinks about all of these things as she watches Carter, flushed and captivated, and the pieces finally fit into place.
***
Let’s meet back at the hotel, Kara texts afterwards. Too crazy here.
She’s not wrong. Supergirl’s surprise appearance has sent not only ticket-holders but also the media into a frenzy, and between crowds, cars, and cameras, it takes them nearly twice as long to get back to the Hilton as it had to get there.
Kara’s waiting in the lobby, only the slightest bit of sheepishness in her expression. “Some panel, right?” she greets them, ruffling Carter’s hair.
“Definitely better than Doctor Who,” he says with a smirk. Winn snorts, and Cat is aware that she’s missing something. It doesn’t bother her as much as she’d have thought.
“You know, Supergirl could have given CatCo a warning,” she says dryly. “I think we only had one reporter in there. No exclusive whatsoever.”
“I don’t think Supergirl exactly thought that through,” Alex huffs. Kara cringes, but Alex seems more resigned than annoyed. “People got their money’s worth, at least.”
And then some, Cat thinks. After her Inspiring Speech™, Kara had lightened the mood and quite frankly shown off by flying around the room and picking a couple of kids to fly up onto the stage. She’d started to make her way towards Carter, but Cat had caught her eye and shaken her head, and Kara veered off to find another little Supergirl in the audience instead.
Poor Booster had barely gotten another word in the entire panel.
Cat catches Kara's gaze again, and this time jerks her head ever so slightly. And - as always - Kara understands.
“I’m starving,” she says, and Cat suspects that much is true. “Alex, can you guys go grab some sandwiches from that booth upstairs? Ms. Grant and I have to, um, figure out the Supergirl article.”
Alex looks at her disbelievingly - not, Cat suspects, at what she’d heard, but rather the appalling attempt at a lie. She doesn’t argue, though, just shoves Winn forward and puts a hand on Carter’s back. “By your command,” she says mockingly over her shoulder as they walk towards the escalator, but there’s something curious in her eyes as she turns away from Kara and Cat.
She hides it easily enough as she engages Carter in conversation, and it’s gone entirely by the time they step on. A bright smile breaks across her face as they move smoothly upwards, her attention fully focused on Carter, and Cat marvels at how easily her son laughs.
She waits until they’ve disappeared before walking to one of the plush benches along the wall and taking a seat. When Kara doesn’t immediately move to follow, she rolls her eyes and pointedly pats the spot next to her.
That, Kara understands.
“That was risky,” Cat says as soon as she’s sat down. “It’s one thing for Kara Danvers to live in the same city as Supergirl, but it’s another for you both to be somewhere else at the same time.”
There’s a long, tense moment that stretches between them like a soap bubble, fragile and fraught.
“I know,” Kara finally breathes, and just like that it’s gone, like it was never there at all.
Except Cat feels it - the absence of this thing that’s been hanging between them for so long, and she steadies herself with a deep breath. Kara’s watching her, worried, and it’s like a veil has been lifted. Like all the things that have kept them apart have vanished with this last secret, and it’s nothing at all to take Kara’s hand, to hold it in her own.
Kara laughs, an edge of nervousness to it. “Alex isn’t as mad as I thought she’d be,” she says, squeezing Cat’s fingers. “She knew how happy it would make Carter.”
“He seems to adore her,” Cat agrees. Her heart is racing. She wonders if Kara can hear it.
“Why didn’t you let me bring him on stage?” Kara asks, looking genuinely curious. “You know he would have loved it.”
Cat hums, deep in her throat. “Of course he would have,” she says, only a little impatiently. “But it would only take one person to put together who he’d spent the week with here, and only one step from there to see that he’s getting special treatment from Supergirl.” She lifts one shoulder in a delicate shrug. “It wasn’t worth it. Not for either of you.”
Kara goes silent as she turns that over. “I didn’t think about that,” she finally admits, looking down. Cat grips her hand more tightly.
“Kara.” She pauses. The words are on the tip of her tongue, and she lets them sit there for a moment as she gathers the courage to commit to them. “Kara,” she starts again, “you’ve done more than enough for him already. You, not Supergirl. You have to know that. The panel, that was just icing on the cake.”
A blush stains Kara’s cheeks. It’s helplessly endearing in a way that sends a giddy sort of laughter bubbling up Cat’s throat; she catches it there but can’t stop the smile that splits her face, a full, honest, uncontrollable smile that she knows Kara’s never seen on her before.
It’s contagious, apparently, because the expression on Kara’s face is one she’s never seen, either. Or maybe it’s just that she’s never been this close. Because they are extremely close, she realizes suddenly, and just as suddenly it’s hard to breathe.
“Carter doesn’t have many people like you in his life,” she murmurs, turning her focus back to her son just long enough to pull herself together. Then, even more quietly - “Neither of us do.”
Kara sucks in a breath and stares at her for so long that Cat would be concerned if her hands weren’t still tight around Cat’s, eyes dark and as soft as Cat’s ever seen them.
“Good thing I’m not going anywhere, then,” she says at last, and her lips are even softer.