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Alec kept his eyes on their hands, they fit together perfectly, as if Alec’s hands were made for holding Magnus’.
Slowly, delicate connecting tendrils of blue weaved through their fingers.
Alec felt his heart leap.
***
The training room was almost unbearably hot. It was as if the old floorboards and high rafters held all the heat in the world, and Alec was in the center of it. He was lying on his back, hovering above the room on one of the wooden rafters, sweat running down his temple and back into his already damp hair. He’d just finished a training session alone, trying to drive the image of the High Warlock of Brooklyn out from behind his eyelids and thoughts and dreams.
It had been a week since his first date with Magnus Bane, a week since Alec had felt the rush of his blood simply because Magnus had been close to him. They’d made a promise to see each other again and today was that day, making Alec especially on edge and swimming in the thought of Magnus. He had been playing the events of that night over in his head since the moment he left Magnus’ apartment. The way Magnus’ fingers had felt like spots of fire on his skin, the way Magnus gasped when Alec kissed his palm. When he had made his way back to the institute he’d become acutely aware of how impossible this would be, as if being with Magnus was a dream he was floating on, and the realities of what that meant was too heavy for Alec to decipher.
So he’d trained. He’d got up before anyone in the institute and had worked himself until the only thought in his mind was how exhausted he was. He couldn’t even sleep without dreaming of Magnus, he couldn’t do anything without his low voice dripping through his thoughts like honey. His body buzzed with this new feeling, like a constant humming beneath his skin. But this wonderful feeling was mixed with a deep and utter fear, making him restless. Every time he thought he heard Magnus’ name, Alec tensed. The only thing that helped relieve the pressure was training, and even then the buzzing was always there. This morning the training had been successful in that for about an hour. That is, until he closed his eyes as he swung from the ropes and Magnus appeared in the black of Alec’s closed eyes. All mischievously curling lips and bronze skin. Alec had opened his eyes with a sharp exhale and caught himself on one of the rafters. He’d been lying there ever since.
It was quiet in the way that early mornings were and the sun was beginning to rise, catching the colors of the stained glass windows and scattering their light across the training room. Alec lifted his arm into the colors and carefully turned it as he watched the light cast shadows across the planes of him. Again he thought of Magnus, the colorful light that seemed to radiate from him, and this time he let himself smile. It was then that the training room doors burst open and Alec’s body jerked at the noise, but he steadied himself by sitting up and wrapping his legs around the beam. He heard a grunt and then something hitting a wall. Alec knew who it was before looking but he looked any way, as he always did.
“Stupid…” Jace mumbled, and then an incoherent stream of noises. The colors from the sun streaming through the stained glass caught at Jace’s hair and skin, making him glow as if gold pumped through his veins instead of blood. Alec stared for a moment. Watching as Jace took throwing knives from the weapons wall and threw them directly into their target, still mumbling, still swearing, still beautiful. Alec’s eyebrows knitted together, he felt like there was a battle inside of his chest that he couldn’t quite comprehend. He still had conflicting feelings about Jace, even with this new feeling with Magnus, and he couldn’t understand why. He knew it wasn’t the same, Jace never made Alec feel like Magnus did, but there was still something. He closed his eyes and took a long inhale. Magnus manifesting, his gold-green cats eyes gazing directly at him. Alec shook his head as if he could clear Magnus like clearing cobwebs, and gracefully jumped from the beam and onto the training room floor.
Jace whirled around and expertly threw a knife. Alec reflexively threw his hand up and caught it at its hilt. Alec smiled and Jace didn’t.
“I was wondering when you would come down from there.” Jace stated, his eyes were still on Alec, making him shift.
“I was trying the element of surprise,” Alec got out. Jace’s eyes moved from his face to the hand holding the knife and smiled. Alec hadn’t seen him genuinely smile since he found out Clary was his sister, only in small flashes like this one. Alec felt guilty for taking a bit of relief from his parabatai’s pain, when he’d found out they were related it was like a chain loosened around his heart, still there, still constricting, but looser.
“I’m never surprised.” He rose his chin and ran a hand through his hair. Oh no, Alec thought, except when you discover your father’s alive, a madman, and the girl you were falling in love with is your sister. “What are you doing up here this early any way? Didn’t you get in really late last night?”
Alec nearly dropped the knife, he could feel blood creeping into his face. “I…” he stuttered, “needed to clear my head. I went for a walk.” He turned around and walked toward the ropes so Jace couldn’t see his red stained cheeks. He silently cursed himself, it wasn’t as if he’d lied, he really did go for a walk to clear his head. It was who he was clearing his head of that made him so… reactive.
“Ah,” Jace pulled a knife from the target. “Taking a page from my book I see.”
Alec let out a surprised laugh. “Sure.” Alec raked a hand through his hair and felt his face was normal enough to turn back towards him. To Alec’s surprise Jace was studying him from across the room.
“Still got any training left in you?” Jace asked. He looked tired and drawn. Suddenly Alec had training left in him. Alec threw the knife he caught from Jace so it hit and stuck in the wall beside him.
“Always.”
***
Alec, in fact, did not have that much training left in him. Jace was like a burning ball of fire, clearly training his thoughts away as Alec had tried earlier that morning. But the distraction was welcome and needed so he trained like he hadn't already. They had collapsed on the ground together both drenched in sweat. Alec, for a brief moment, forgot why he hadn’t been able to sleep, and then he slid his eyes shut and the buzzing crept back under his skin. Alec bolted upright and scrambled to his feet, still breathing hard from training.
“What are you..” Jace gazed at him from beneath his eye lashes, a curious look puzzling his features when Isabelle came strutting through the doors, cutting off the rest of Jace’s question. She looked upon the scene in front of her, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and cocked her hip out to the side.
“Again. Again you train without me.”
“I need a shower.” Alec blurted maybe slightly too loud. “Jace will train with you.” Alec looked down at the heap that was Jace. Suddenly he came to life, jack knifing so he was standing next to Alec.
“You don’t do it right if you don’t train twice,” He winked at Izzy. Alec could tell his heart wasn’t in the wink or the remark.
“Shut up and throw me a staff.” Izzy said, rolling her eyes.
Alec took this as his out. He slid out of the training room, letting the doors fall shut behind him as he took long strides to his bedroom. Once he was safely locked in his room, he ran towards his phone lying on the bed. Alec flipped it open and saw a name he’d been thinking about all week.
Magnus: 1 new message. Alec’s heart stuttered in his chest. He opened the text:
Good morning, Alec. We still on for tonight? - MB
He read the message ten times. The first three times he had to keep setting the phone down, seeing the text was too much for him, he felt his face would split in two the amount he was smiling. Alec began texting back and realized a simple yes wasn’t enough. Oh god, he thought, oh god I need Izzy. He almost ran out his door when he realized getting Izzy would mean interrupting her training. With Jace. Alec sucked in a breath and threw his phone back onto his bed. Maybe a shower would clear his head, and his sweat.
He rushed over to his bathroom and turned the handles to the shower. Closing the door, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, not too long ago he would have flinched and looked away. Now, he looked at the boy in the mirror. His hair was still sticking to his face and neck with sweat and his cheeks were flushed. His eyes looked incredibly blue. He gripped at the sink and looked harder at his reflection.
“Relax.” He said aloud to his mirrored self, as sane people do. “Relax. It’s just a text. All you have to do is tell him we’re still on for tonight and hit send. Relax. It’s not a big deal. Relax. Relax.” He stripped off his training gear and climbed into the shower.
He did not relax.
“Hey Magnus! It’s Alec,” Alec tested as he swiftly worked shampoo into his scalp. “Thats stupid. So stupid. He knows it’s you. He texted you.”
Alec tried a Jace approach, “Of course we’re still on, duh, psh” and failed, stopping his rinse for a moment. “Idiot.”
He stood quiet for a moment, listening to the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. “Hey Magnus,” He finished soaping the rest of his body and was letting the water clear the suds away as he leaned against the shower wall, talking to an invisible Magnus. His tone was softer, “I’ve been looking forward to this day all week. Yes, we’re still on. We’re always still on.” He stared at the empty space that was imaginary Magnus, suddenly losing the energy he had a moment ago. He felt very serious, and suddenly incredibly sad. He let his eyes droop shut and gently touched his bottom lip with his thumb, remembering Magnus’ own lips soft against his. Remembering Magnus’ face when Alec pulled away from him.
Abruptly, he turned the water off, and got out.
***
Alec stood in the bathrooms’ threshold, leaning against the doors frame as he nervously picked at the sweater in his hands. His eyes were glued to the phone on his bed. Alec sighed and tugged the sweater over his head as he made his way over to his phone. He sunk onto the bed and took a deep breath. He was deathly nervous, but he couldn’t call this off. He couldn’t not text Magnus. He couldn’t not see him again. Alec fiddled at the hems of the sleeves on his sweater, unaware of the holes he was worsening. He picked up the phone and flipped it open to Magnus’ text. The black letters stark against the white screen. One word was standing out over the rest: we.
Alec slowly punched in his response, took a deep breath, and hit send.
***
Magnus Bane was leaning over his kitchen island, a magicly conjured cup of coffee resting in his finely jeweled hands, reading a recipe from a peruvian cookbook, when he heard his phone buzz from another room. He reacted too quickly and too intensely to it. He jumped at the noise, spilling some of his coffee on the table and a bit onto his beloved cookbook.
“No,” Magnus gasped, and snapped his fingers so the spilt liquid floated back into his cup. He ran into the next room, almost colliding into one of the dining chairs, and slid into the lounge area. He snatched the phone up from the coffee table and flipped it open.
Alec: 1 new message.
Magnus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and opened the message.
Good Morning Magnus. Yes, we’re still on.
Magnus bit his bottom lip as a smile spread across his face. He slowly collapsed onto his sofa, legs dangling over the armrest and punched in a response.
Good. What time can you be here?
He had to forcibly not type in a winky face and sent the message. He closed the phone and stared up at his ceiling, still grinning, when a small pang bloomed in his stomach. Did he just run to his phone?
Magnus groaned and slid his hands over his face. He hadn’t reacted like this towards someone in a very long time. He still had the sinking but welcoming feeling he’d had after Alec left his apartment on their first date; this was going to be much more than he originally intended.
He thought back to the events that had transpired. How he had almost abandoned Alec in that god forsaken restaurant, how Alec had moved to protect him when they were helping the werewolf girl, how Alec had looked at him in the stairwell of his apartment, how Alec’s body had felt on top of his; Strong and careful and only ever sincere. Magnus uncovered his face and lifted himself off of the sofa.
“A Shadowhunter,” he said aloud. Magnus slowly walked away from his phone and stopped at the window he had watched Alec walk away from when he’d left last friday.
He sank onto the windowsill. “A Shadowhunter,” he repeated. “Imagine the things Ragnor would tell you.”
He intended this as a joke — but Magnus felt a small but real fear blooming in his chest. This wasn’t any nephilim boy. This was a Lightwood. A famous Shadowhunter name and family. If what was happening between them became deeper, if it turned into what he thought was creeping into his heart; how would their worlds react to them?
He looked down at his hands and flexed his fingers, delicate blue sparks crackling between them, when a low buzz came from the couch.
Magnus stared at the phone from his place at the windowsill, his body humming with that same feeling he feared but relished in. After what felt like hours he got up and plucked his phone from the couch.
Alec: 1 new message
I think I can be there around 10 or midnight. Is that too late?
Magnus felt his heart tighten. He knew what Alec was doing. He knew Alec had to lie and sneak around certain people in order to see Magnus. Magnus was suddenly very aware of Alec’s situation. Very aware that Alec was putting a lot of trust in him simply by seeing him again. He was also very aware of how much he wanted to have that trust, how much he wanted to be the one to ease Alec’s constant tension. Magnus punched in his response:
It’s never too late
***
The lights were dim in the Institutes library. Alec had settled himself in one of the large velvet armchairs next to the burning fireplace. He sunk further into the chair and nervously toyed with the phone in his hand. It was 9:28 in the evening and everyone in the institute was awake. His plan was to wait until everyone retired to their separate rooms before he left for Magnus’ apartment. Yet his mother and father were held up in the drawing room, arguing about the Inquisitors future visit. Izzy was painting her nails at one of the large mahogany desks in the center of the library. His youngest brother, Max, was reading a comic book next to her, occasionally pointing at the pages for Izzy to see in which she would react with an uninterested “wow” or “cool”.
Jace had been restlessly tugging Alec around all day. He had used an opening rune on Alec’s bedroom door to find him lying on the bed, hopelessly staring at the last text Magnus had sent; It’s never too late. Alec had been staring at it, his heart skipping in his chest, for an eternity, and nearly thrown the phone across the room when Jace had barged in.
“Woah, what were you looking at?” Jace had said. He’d gone entirely red, but thankfully Jace was already looking around the room. Alec hoped his mind wasn’t on the subject anymore.
He had scrambled to his feet and Jace had eyed him. “You hungry?”
“Sure, yeah. Food sounds good.” He’d tugged his sleeves over his hands and followed Jace out of the room, quickly snatching up his phone he’d thrown. Jace had been dragging him about the institute ever since, which landed them in the library.
“So,” Jace drawled. He was swinging himself between two wooden chairs. “Anyone wanna bet on me getting kicked out?”
Izzy looked up from her nails, her eyes blazing even from the distance Alec sat away from her, “Shut up Jace, no ones kicking you out. We won’t let them.”
“Really?” Jace mocked, “Not even a dollar?”
Max looked at Jace with all the hero worship in the world. “Why would you get kicked out?” He asked, his voice straining. Jace stopped swinging himself and looked up and over at Max.
“Your big brother’s in a little trouble,” he said with a smile that was a little forced. Alec folded his legs up against his chest and absently picked the holes at the knees. Alec couldn’t think of what to say. Izzy fired back at Jace and Jace kept coming back with his quick sarcasm. It had been like this for two weeks, everyone in the institute was constantly teetering on edge.
He shut his eyes and rested his head on his knees. Immediately his mind went to Magnus, and for a moment he let himself float on the thought. What is he doing right now?
A slam jolted Alec out of his reverie.
He looked up to find Jace missing. “What’s happening?” Alec asked. Izzy was on her feet, fury written on her face. Alec missed their argument, clearly it had gotten more heated than he had previously thought.
“He’s feeling sorry for himself, that’s what’s happening.” She looked at Max suddenly, as if she forgot he was there. “Max,” she gasped.
Max’s face was twisted up with worry. “Is Jace leaving? Are they really sending him away?”
Isabelle quickly moved over to him, kneeling so she was at his level. “No.” She said definitively. ”No one’s going anywhere, got it?” She smoothed his wild hair down and straightened his askew glasses. Max just looked at her. “Got it?” She repeated.
“Got it.” Max said, his voice small. Izzy nodded and poked at Max’s side, making him giggle.
“You should go to bed, I need to talk to Alec.” She straightened herself, taking Max’s hand, and began leading him out of the room.
“But I'm not tired!” He protested, in vain.
“Yes you are,” Izzy said, opening the doors of the library. Max grunted as Izzy pushed him out into the hallway. “Good niiiight, Maxy.” She blew him a kiss and shut the door just as Max was beginning to protest again. Alec stared at the door.
“I should go after him.” He said, as Izzy made her way to the matching armchair across from him.
“Max? He’ll be fine,” she waved her hand.
“No not Max, Jace.” Alec stretched his legs out in front of him, preparing to stand up, when Izzy coughed. Alec looked over at her, one of her delicate eyebrows raised, a small smile playing on her glossed lips. Alec looked away then back at her, “...What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me, Alec. I know what today is,” She crossed her legs and gripped the arms of the chair, her long black hair falling forward a bit. “Your date with Mr. Magic.” She wiggled her fingers at her brother.
“Oh by the Angel, do not call him that.”
“Oh relax,” she said jokingly, “Seriously, is that still happening?” Alec felt caught, he didn’t know why, but there it was. He’d told Izzy most of the details of their first date, leaving out the desperate kissing bits, and smoothing over the embarrassing parts on Alec’s behalf, and told her there would be a second. Izzy was the one person in all the world he could tell this to, and yet it still felt strange to talk about aloud.
Alec cleared his throat. “Yes,” he mumbled.
Izzy clapped her hands. “When!? Where!?” She looked suddenly very alarmed, “Are you going like that?” She said with all the dread in the world.
“I… no?” Alec tried.
“Good.” Izzy gestured with her hand that he should answer her other questions. Alec ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t exactly know what we’re doing or where we’re going,” he breathed. “All I know is I’m meeting him at his apartment in,” he turned around at the grandfather clock ticking away behind them. “Almost an hour.” He felt a jolt of nervousness and tugged at his sleeves. Izzy smiled and reached out and grabbed at Alec’s hands, stopping him from his nervous habit.
“Everything’s okay, Alec.” She said softly. “You are going to be okay.” There was more weight in the words than he thought she meant to put in them. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Are you excited, at least?”
Her face looked hopeful and very young, her hands were still on his. Alec looked down at them and moved to hold them, letting a small smile onto his face despite himself.
“Yes,” he whispered, looking up from their hands and into her face. “I’m excited.” He bit his bottom lip. Izzy’s smile widened and she took her hands back and fell against her chair.
“This is gonna be good,” She kicked her feet. “And don’t worry I’m still covering you. Now we gotta get you into something… with less holes.”
***
Magnus had been watching the sidewalk out of his front window when he saw a tall slim figure walk up to his apartments main entrance. Alec. Magnus’ heart leaped, he couldn’t help it. He’d felt like he’d been waiting for months rather than a week to see him again. Alec stood on the entryway for a bit. He could see his breath in the crisp fall air as he took a deep breath and let it out. Magnus walked away from the window. A man should build up his nerve without the eyes of the reason he was nervous to begin with.
He looked out at his apartment. He’d done some light decorating, he didn’t want to make too big a deal out of this. After all, it was only their second date. He’d arranged his dining area so it matched the theme of the food Magnus had prepared. A Peruvian night in. Way less pressure than going out, he’d thought. The dining area was all warm colors and would be dim candle light. In the center of the room he’d placed antique dining chairs he’d conjured up from one of his favorite antiquity shops in Peru, intricate designs scrawled up the backs, placed around an intimate round dining table, small enough for two.
He’d put out lovely vintage table settings, expertly arranged. White drapes pillowed above the dining room, hopefully catching the light of the candles and romanticizing the atmosphere. Magnus had set up antique chinese dividers so it made the area look smaller than it was.
Magnus crossed his arms and smiled at his work. Chairman Meow came slinking over to weave himself between Magnus’ legs. “You’re right,” Magnus said, “It needs música.” Magnus snapped his fingers and a record fell onto his player, sweet low sounds of classical spanish guitar softly filled the space. The sound of Alec buzzing the doorbell cut through the apartment. Magnus felt his nerves spike and then settle. He took a deep breath, walked over to the speaker box, and buzzed Alec in.
***
Alec had been standing outside of Magnus’ apartment for far too long. He was mustering the courage to ring the bell, taking deep breaths and shaking out his hands. He stared at himself in the reflection of the glass doors that opened to the apartments entrance. His hair was a little windblown and very black against his skin, his cheeks were slightly flushed from the chill fall air. He was wearing a black turtleneck that fit closer to his tall, trim frame than he was used to, and deep blue jeans that only had a hole in one of the knees. Alec parted his lips a bit, he looked… good.
Isabelle had torn apart his closet, looking for items that would make him look, “Over-all cooler.” In the end she’d shoved some garments into his hands and had forced him to change in his bathroom so she could judge her work.
When Alec had presented himself to her, she sighed. “Decidedly less holey than the ensemble before. I like it! You look suave, sleek and—” She was about to throw out another adjective when Alec finished for her.
“Over-all cooler.” Alec mocked.
“Exactly,” she clapped her hands together. “See, now you’re getting it.” She smiled up at him from her place on the edge of his bed. “Alec relax, you look amazing and Magnus actually wants to see you again. Those are both two very good things.”
Isabelle had pushed him out of the Institute in the same manner she did with Max earlier in the evening. Alec had breathed in the chilly night air and decided he’d walk to Magnus’s, it would give him time to clear his head of Jace and his parents and what they would think of him if they knew what he was doing.
Now, Alec took a final deep breath and quickly buzzed the doorbell. He jumped in place as he waited for Magnus to buzz him in, closing his eyes and holding his breath. In the space of that moment his mind went to the last time he was in Magnus’ apartment. The feel of Magnus so close to him, the warmth of his touch and his kiss and just him. Alec stopped jumping, opened his eyes, and let out his breath. A wave of excitement fell over him, he desperately needed to see Magnus’ face.
BZZZZZZZZ
Alec’s hand shot out and gripped the door handle, pulling it open and stepping inside the entrance way, bringing with him a wave of night air. He started to make his way up the rickety stairs when he looked up to find Magnus leaning against the door frame of his apartment, arms crossed over his chest; again, doing incredible things for them. Alec stopped suddenly, arrested on the bottom steps. Magnus was wearing a silk, short sleeve rose colored pajama top, tucked in to a pair of black trousers. He didn’t look real.
Alec was soon very aware he was staring and made the rest of the way up the steps. He slowed as he reached the top.
“Hi,” Magnus breathed. This close to him Alec took in all that was Magnus. There was a black cursive M embroidered on his shirt-pocket and he wore a delicate gold chain that drew his attention to his throat. There was glitter on the tops of his cheek bones and his lips looked shiny and slightly tinted a deeper shade than his natural lip color. Alec very much wanted to know how they tasted.
“Hi,” Alec finally stuttered out. He bit his bottom lip as he smiled at Magnus. Magnus’ smile widened in return. He had no idea what to do next; did they kiss? Were they on casual kissing bases? Did he hug him? Magnus seemed to read the questions running through Alec’s head and chuckled. He reached down for Alec’s hand and raised it to his lips, head bent and eyes looking into Alec’s. Alec froze and melted all at the same time. When Magnus let go of his hand, there was a light stain in the delicate shape of Magnus’ lips. Alec’s eyes widened and Magnus grinned.
“Come on,” he cocked his head, motioning towards the inside of his apartment. Alec shook his head at Magnus, still smiling.
“I’m sorry I had to come here so late.” Alec said as he walked past Magnus and into the apartment.
Magnus swung the door shut and shrugged, “I don’t mind at all.” He said, looking at Alec from his spot by the door. There was something in his breath, a little catch when he looked at Alec. Alec felt himself blush and silently willed it away. “Are you hungry? Or we could...” Magnus made his way over to where Alec stood among the sofa and lounge chairs.
“Starving.” Alec answered a little too quickly, cutting the rest of Magnus’ suggestion off. Magnus’ smile wided. “Or, I’m sorry,” Alec shook his head, not able to take his eyes off Magnus. “What were you going to say?”
Magnus sat on the arm of the sofa and looked up at Alec. “I was going to say we can sit for a bit, maybe have a glass of wine or whatever you like?” Magnus was still smiling, Alec felt his heart beating against his chest.
“Oh..” Alec raked a hand through his hair, “Yeah.. yes. We should sit.”
Magnus put his hand against his face, “If you’re starving we can eat. Whatever you want to do.”
Alec shook his head and sat on an arm of one of the lounge chairs near the sofa. “No, I’m, I’m not starving. I just said the first thing that came to mind.” He looked down at his hands, he was pulling at his sleeves again.
Magnus fell back onto the sofa, his legs dangling over its arm, his head propped up by a throw pillow. “Mmm, you tend to do that. I quite like it.” Magnus kicked his legs, his eyes on Alec’s face. Alec wanted to melt into the chair.
“I… I’m sorry, I’m so nervous.” Alec flexed his fingers, “I feel like I shouldn’t be this nervous.”
Magnus moved so he was sitting instead of laying, and patted the spot next to him. Alec smiled and got up from his place, slowly making his way over. The room was warm and Alec was reminded of what transpired on this couch the night of their first date and blushed. “It’s okay if you’re nervous. The first few dates are… nerve racking.” Magnus said. He had moved so he was facing Alec, one foot was on the floor and the other leg was pulled to his chest, his ringed fingers folded over his knee.
“If you say so,” Alec breathed. “Where are we going tonight?”
Magnus gestured towards the dining room. Alec followed the gesture and as he did about a hundred unlit candles caught flame. Each gently lighting themselves, catching at the pillowing sheets draped above the room, making the room fill with a warm and welcome glow. Alec’s mouth fell open. He didn’t see magic like this every day, or, any day for that matter, and he'd been so enamored with Magnus he hadn't noticed much else around him. “You… you did this?” There was wonder plain in his voice.
“Yes, I did this,” Magnus said, Alec could hear the smile on his lips. His eyes slowly moved across the room, and when he moved his head to look at Magnus, Magnus was looking at him. “I thought it would be better than going out.”
“It’s… perfect.” Alec could feel the stunned look on his face. He couldn’t believe someone took the time to do this for him, or even wanted to do this for him.
“I was hoping you’d say something like that.” Magnus laughed and ran a hand through his spiked hair. “How was your walk over here?”
“I… How did you know I walked?”
Magnus leaned forward and brushed one of the many hairs that were fallen across Alec’s face. “Your hair.”
Magnus’ touch left a trail of warmth on his forehead. “Oh,” Alec tucked some hair behind his ear, eyes sliding to the hole in his jeans. “It was really nice actually. It’s good to get out of the institute with everything that's going on.”
“Ah,” Magnus made a mock serious face. “With big bad Valentine running loose.”
Alec let out a laugh, “Yeah, it’s all very... intense.”
“I can imagine.” Magnus cleared his throat. “How is Jace doing with all of this?” There was a look on Magnus' face when he said Jace's name Alec couldn't quite read.
Alec almost forgot about Jace, the thought of him made his nerves prickle. “He’s… pining.”
“Hmm. As one does.” Magnus smiled. He made a small movement with his wrist, a light flick, and two wine glasses appeared on the coffee table next to them along with a dark, aged-looking bottle of red wine. Alec starred.
Magnus made another motion and the wine uncorked itself and began to pour into one of the glasses. Alec looked at him with a hint of amazement and Magnus looked at the wine as if this was the most casual thing in the world. Magnus caught the look and smiled, delicate blue lightning webbing between his fingers. The wine bottle filled the other glass and Magnus pointed towards one of them and moved his finger so it was pointing at Alec’s hand. The wine glass lifted from the table and followed the direction, Alec caught it at the stem.
“I…” Alec looked at the glass in his hand, then at Magnus, who was smiling around the the rim of his own glass. “That was…”
“Magical?” Magnus tried.
“Well.. yeah. Yes. But also, no it was…” His eyes fell onto Magnus' hands. “Can I—can you do that again?”
Magnus’ eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Do what again?”
Alec set down his wine glass and inched closer to Magnus. He looked into his face and blushed as he gently took Magnus’ hand. Alec ran his fingers over Magnus', “The blue…” Alec said, and suddenly realized how close they were. Magnus was inches from Alec’s face, he could have closed the space between them.
“Oh,” Magnus let out a low chuckle that sent a shiver through Alec. “Here.” Magnus set down his wine glass. He moved the hand Alec was holding so that their palms were flat against each other. Alec kept his eyes on their hands, they fit together perfectly, as if Alec’s hands were made for holding Magnus’. Slowly, delicate connecting tendrils of blue weaved through their fingers. Alec felt his heart leap.
“You know,” Magnus breathed, the tendrils wrapping themselves around their hands, “This used to get me in a lot of trouble.”
Alec looked into Magnus’ eyes, “Your magic?” Alec felt he should whisper. There was something about the quiet of the moment Alec didn’t want to ruin. Magnus nodded, there was an unguarded look on his face, as if Magnus was just as astounded by Alec as Alec was with Magnus. Gently the blue tendrils rose up above their heads, creating a canopy or soft blue light. Alec tilted his head back, watching as the tendrils danced above them. Magnus slid his hand to Alec’s wrist, carefully wrapping his fingers around it and lowered Alec’s hand so his palm was facing upward. Alec looked down at their hands, watching Magnus’ movement in fascination.
“People have always been interested in it,” Magnus said softly. “But out of fear or for their own personal gain.” Magnus took his other hand and slid it in underneath Alec’s. He thumbed the inside of Alec’s wrist with the hand holding it, then slid his fingers to the center of Alec’s palm. Magnus touched his finger tips together and lifted his hand from Alec’s, a blue trail of magic living between their hands. They were surrounded by Magnus’ blue magic, it canopied above them, and danced around them. Alec felt as though he could feel the magic rush through his hand, as if it was in his blood. He remembered the restless humming of his body in the week leading up to this moment, the way Magnus’ magic felt in his hand was like breathing after holding your breath for too long.
Alec parted his lips and tilted his head back, looking at what lived around them in stunned fascination. Blue tendrils were slowly raining down around them, some resting on their skin, fading upon contact. Alec slowly looked at Magnus, who had been gazing at Alec through shining cat eyes.
He took the hand Magnus wasn’t holding and touched the canopy above them, it rippled like water. When he brought his arm back, the tip of his finger was glowing blue. He was aware of Magnus watching him, aware of the way his lips were parted and his chest was rising and falling. Alec looked up at him, feeling incredibly brave, and traced the glowing fingertip across the top of his cheek bone, where he noticed the glitter shining earlier. It left a blue trail that faded with the movement of his finger. Magnus was still watching him, perfectly still.
“I’m not afraid of your magic.” Alec whispered, his finger moved from Magnus’ cheek to his jawline, tracing a pathway down his neck. “I think it’s beautiful.” Bathed in blue, Magnus shivered. Alec was overcome with the beauty of him. The delicate curve of his gold-green cat eyes, and how in certain light it was more gold than green but under his magic they shone like the candles he lit. The deep honey tone to his skin, warm and inviting. The fullness of his lips, and how when he parts them they stick together for the tiniest moment before separating. His eyes stayed there for a moment. He needed to kiss him. His entire body ached to kiss him. Alec cupped Magnus’ neck and slowly pulled him toward himself. Magnus was still looking at Alec, wonder falling across his face.
“Alexander,” Magnus whispered, as if he was discovering something. Alec shuddered at the sound of his full name on Magnus’ tongue. They were so close Alec could feel Magnus’ breath against his lips.
“Magnus,” Alec whispered back, as if a great weight was being lifted from his shoulders. Alec gently touched his nose with Magnus’, softly nudging it, and closed the space between their lips. Alec gasped a little at the shock it sent through his body. Behind his eyelids Magnus’ magic glowed brighter, and when Magnus dragged his hand up Alec’s chest and behind his neck to knot his fingers in his hair, Alec felt the trail of warmth his magic left behind. Expertly, Magnus parted Alec’s lips with his own. Alec breathed him in, tasting the inside of his mouth and pulled away only to drag his tongue along Magnus’ bottom lip, still curious about the way they tasted. His lips tasted of wine and something else, something distinctly Magnus.
Magnus pulled Alec against him, his magic still living in his hands, and slowly rucked up the back of Alecs shirt, slipping his hands under. Alec felt himself make a low sound in the back of his throat and deepened the kiss, touching his fingers to the back of Magnus’ neck and tracing the shape of him there. Magnus exhaled and bit at Alec’s lip, moving his hands under Alec's shirt so his fingers were gliding over the muscles of his abdomen. Alec gasped as Magnus ran his tongue along the inside of his mouth and, with shaking hands, unbuttoned the top buttons of Magnus’ shirt, slipping his hands under the silk there, feeling the smooth skin of his chest. He was drowning in Magnus, in the feel and smell and taste of him. They were enveloped in blue, as if every touch inspired more magic. He didn’t want anything else. How could he want anything other than this?
They stayed kissing for what felt like hours. It wasn’t the desperate kind of their first date, but a slower, heavier kind. They finally broke apart when Chairman Meow leaped onto the coffee table and knocked over their glasses, still full of wine. At the sound of glass breaking, the blue tendrils of magic fell down around them. Alec looked about them, somehow Magnus had gotten on top of Alec, their limbs entirely tangled together, his blue magic falling down to kiss his hair and skin. Alec reached up and touched Magnus’ face and Magnus traced a line over Alec’s cheekbone, making him shiver.
Alec was filled with an overwhelming feeling he couldn’t exactly place, but it put him intensely at ease. “I really like you.” Alec said, a little breathless.
Magnus searched Alec's face and smiled, “I really like you.” He buried his face in Alec’s neck and Alec wanted to stay like this forever. “Now you’ve done it.” Magnus said against the fabric of Alec’s sweater.
“Did what?” Alec tensed a bit and Magnus pulled away, hovering over him.
“Amazed me,” Magnus said, his tone steady and sweet. “That isn’t very easy to do.” He winked and lifted himself off of Alec so he was standing, he snapped his fingers and the mess of the spilled wine and broken glasses was gone. Alec blinked. Magnus looked down at him and Alec noticed a few marks he left on Magnus’ neck, he felt immensely happy.
“Come on,” Magnus held his hands out to Alec. “I’m starving.” Magnus joked. Alec smiled and took his hands, letting him lift him to his feet. Alec kept his hands in Magnus’ and kissed him lightly on the lips. When he pulled away Magnus was looking at him and smiling.
“What are we eating?” Alec asked as Magnus walked backward towards the dining room, placing gentle kisses down the side of Alec’s face.
“Food from my favorite place in the whole world.” Magnus snapped his fingers and steaming plates of food appeared on the small dining table. The candles were burnt down a little more than halfway.
“And where’s that?” Alec asked, nearly tripping as he tugged Magnus back against him, kissing the corner of his mouth.
“Peru.” Magnus smiled and dragged Alec to his seat. Alec watched from his place at the table as Magnus walked to the corner of the room and flipped the record that had long stopped playing. Music spilled from the speakers. He watched as Magnus' shoulders moved beneath the silk of his shirt, now untucked and slightly off kilter.
“Where have you been?” Alec asked.
Magnus turned around and walked to his seat across from Alec. He reminded him of a panther. “Right here,” He smiled, as he took his seat and picked up a piece of bread, tearing it in half.
Alec smiled at Magnus’ smile, positively drunk with him, “No, I mean in the world.” Alec looked down at his food and his stomach grumbled, there was sliced steak artfully placed atop warm, fluffy white rice, covered with a rich gravy that smelled sweetly of mushrooms. He breathed it in, he hadn’t eaten since that morning. Alec picked up his fork and shoveled rice and mushroom onto it.
Magnus laughed, “Everywhere,” Magnus took a bite of his bread and chewed thoughtfully. “Well… close to everywhere, I imagine. I guess one never really knows if they’ve truly been everywhere. There’s always something new waiting on the horizon.” Alec looked up at that, he could feel heat rising into his cheeks. Magnus looked at him through lowered eyelids, “How do you like your food?”
Alec swallowed the mouthful he’d been savoring, “Really good, I mean, where did you get this?”
Magnus closed his eyes and opened his hands wide.
“You… you made this?”
“You act surprised?” Magnus said, raising an eyebrow.
Alec waved his hand, “No! No, I’m not, I’m not surprised in a bad way. I just, Izzy is the only one who cooks at the institute— well when my mom when is away— and its… less than appetizing.” He shuddered at the remembrance of her fish soup.
“Well I, for one, am an amazing cook.” Magnus winked. Alec felt a rush of affection towards Magnus, he reached for his hand resting at the table. It was almost a reflex, it felt natural and right. Magnus' eyes followed Alec's hand, he moved to to take it and gently glided his thumb along Alec’s knuckles. Alec’s breath caught, this is going to be something big, he thought. He felt it in his bones, in his blood.
Alec opened his mouth to speak when his phone buzzed in his back pocket. He jumped at the noise, tearing his hand away from Magnus and hitting his knees against the table, sending his fork clattering to the ground. Magnus steadied the table with both hands. “Are you okay?” He sounded alarmed.
Alec reached in his back pocket and retrieved his phone, “Im so sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off as he opened his phone, reading the name of the person who texted him. Jace: 1 New Message.
“Alec, its okay,” Magnus said in soothing tones. “Everything’s okay, who's the text from?”
Alec opened the message: Where are you?? I found Izzy asleep in your room, I wanted to train with you.
Alec ran a hand through his hair, panic creeping into his voice, “Jace, he’s asking where I am. I don’t know what to—”
“Alec,” Magnus whispered, he got up from his seat and was in front of Alec in the span of a breath. He crouched down to him so he was on his knees, his eyes a little lower than Alec’s, taking his face in his hands. “Breathe, everything is fine. Jace doesn’t know where you are.”
Alec’s breath was slowing, his heart still pounding in his chest. He closed his eyes and let himself hang suspended there, with Magnus’ slim hands cupping his face. Alec knew he was being paranoid, he knew if he had been someone else he wouldn't have cared, but he wasn't anyone else and he cared very much. Even so, Magnus was right. Jace didn’t know anything, and for this moment, everything was okay. Alec took a deep breath and opened his eyes onto to Magnus’ face. He didn’t look bothered, he didn’t look angry or hurt, just open. Accepting Alec, even as he fought this battle within himself. Alec reached up and held Magnus’ hands cupping his face.
“You’re right,” Alec breathed, his eyes searching Magnus’. “You’re right, I’m sorry, Magnus. I’m really sorry, I know I’m not the greatest at this,” Alec took Magnus’ hands from his face and held them in his lap. “But I really like you. And I want to keep seeing you. I’m just…” Alec was at a loss for words.
“Scared,” Magnus whispered. His eyes traveled to their hands.
“Yes, I’m scared. I’m not supposed to be scared of anything but…”
“It’s okay,” Magnus looked up into his face. “It’s okay, Alec. Please stop apologizing.” Magnus’ eyes were serious and Alec couldn’t breathe. “I understand you, I’d never judge you or want you to be or do anything you aren’t ready for.” Magnus tightened his grip on Alec’s hands. “I like you. Just as you are. I just want you to be happy.” There was a long pause, Alec felt a stinging in the back of his eyes. “Alexander, you’re safe with me here, you don’t have to be anyone else but you.” Magnus reached up and wiped a finger under Alec’s eye. It came back wet.
Alec looked at Magnus for a long moment, then slowly met him on the ground, he buried his face in Magnus’ shoulder and Magnus held him there, gently stroking his hair. “I have to go back,” Alec said into the fabric of Magnus’ shirt. He desperately did not want to leave, he wanted to stay with Magnus like this all night, clutching each other in the dim glow of the dying candle light.
Magnus kissed Alec’s cheek, “I know you do,” he whispered. Magnus started to stand and Alec wanted to pull him back to the ground. He didn’t. Instead he let Magnus pull him to his feet, and they stood close together. The soft sound of the music Magnus put on was still humming through the room. “Before you go,” Magnus put a hand on the small of Alec’s back, pulling him in closer. “Will you dance with me?” Alec looked up into Magnus’ face, Magnus was taller than him, something that rarely happened, and after spending his life looking down at the ground, Alec was beginning to realize he liked looking up.
Alec couldn’t help it, he laughed. “I don’t dance.” He said softly.
“You do tonight,” Magnus reached down and positioned Alec’s arms around his neck. “All you need to do is sway with me.” Alec bit back a smile and tightened his arms around Magnus, so their cheeks were pressed together. “What are you going to tell Jace?” He whispered against Alecs ear, making him shiver.
Alec sighed, “I don’t know… I’ll tell him I went for a walk… to Peru.”
Magnus laughed at that, “That sounds promising.” And Alec could have listened to that laugh every day until the sun blinked out.
Alec moved so they were face to face, his own blue eyes reflected in Magnus’ gold green ones. He touched Magnus’ lips with his fingertips and dragged them so he cupped his cheek, his thumb gently running along the delicate bones of Magnus’ face, and kissed him. He could feel Magnus’ heartbeat quicken through his chest, and so he kissed him deeper, wanting them to disappear into it together. When they pulled apart Magnus’ eyes and lips were shining.
“When can I see you again?” Alec asked, he could hear the desperation plain in his voice but whether or not he tried to hide it didn’t matter anymore.
“Tomorrow,” Magnus breathed. “Or the next day, or the day after that. Whenever you want.”
Alec nodded, “I’ll call you.” He said searching Magnus’ face, “Or you can call me.” Alec added quickly.
A smile broke onto Magnus’ face as he nodded, Alec took his face in his hands and kissed him again.
“You have to go,” Magnus said against his mouth. Magnus walked backwards towards the door. Alec wanted to pull him back, he wanted to kiss him until they fell asleep. Magnus reached for the door handle behind him and pulled it open. Alec reached and shut the door so they fell against it. Magnus didn’t protest. Alec slid his hands from Magnus’ shoulders to the waistband on his trousers and tugged him closer, Magnus gasped and wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck. And then a buzz came from his back pocket.
Magnus pulled away first. “Alec,” he said, his cheeks a little flushed.
Alec nodded, and Magnus pulled the door open. Magnus took Alec by the hands and led him out of his apartment. Alec turned to look at him, he felt that humming again in his veins, the humming of being far from Magnus. “Good night, Magnus.” Alec whispered.
Magnus was holding onto his door, leaning his face against it. He shook his head and leaned forward. “You’re gonna be bad for business,” he tucked his finger under Alec’s chin and brought him close to his face, Alec’s heart pinged. “I can tell.” Gently he kissed Alec one more time, it was slow and soft and Alec didn’t want it to end.
“Good night, Alec.” He said as he pulled away. And Alec could have floated down the stairs.
***
Magnus watched as Alec made his way down the steps and out of the door. He stood there in his hallway for a while before going back in. He felt his blood hot in his veins, and his heart ached for Alec. Magnus saw the giant conundrum that was Alec’s situation, and if he could make it easier for him he would. If that meant being a secret for now, he would be a secret. Magnus straightened and closed the door, he looked out onto his apartment.
The candles had burned out and his couch looked about right for what had transpired there. Magnus sighed and fell against the door, he closed his eyes and saw Alec’s face. All tousled black hair and serious deep blue eyes. He could swim in them.
He looked towards the sofa and remembered Alec’s face when he saw Magnus’ magic. The wonder and awe of it. It was a rare thing to have people think of his magic like that, let alone a Shadowhunter. The entirety of his life Shadowhunters referred to him as “warlock” or “half-breed”, they referred to him as less than their divine blood and glory. But the way Alec looked at him was as if he was the divine glory. Magnus felt a pang go through his heart and spread in his veins.
This was going to be something.
He walked over into his bedroom and fell against the pillows. He was feeling much too much, way too soon. He reached his hand out across the bed and longed for Alec to be lying there next to him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Dreaming of him would have to do.
***
Alec didn’t know how long it took him to get home. He’d been floating in the thought of Magnus. You’re safe with me here, you don’t have to be anyone else but you.
In another time he would have felt mortified that Magnus saw Alec with tears in his eyes, but this was not another time. Magnus was the only person, the only one, that truly understood him. In the short time that they’ve known each other Alec felt as if Magnus saw him, as if Magnus understood the messy parts of his mind. No one had ever made him feel the way Magnus did, like he was truly accepted, like he was undeniably home.
Alec somehow made it into the Institute, up the elevator and down the corridor to his room. The lights were dim and Alec didn’t need to check the time to know everyone was asleep. He found Jace and Izzy asleep on his bed.
Some cover, Alec thought. Izzy stirred lightly, throwing a hand over Jace’s face, Jace made a groan of protest and turned to face away from her. Alec was relieved he didn't have to answer to him, but also at the fact that Jace was actually sleeping after spending so long with bruises under his eyes. There was no room on his bed, so he made his way to the library, trailing his fingers against the institutes walls, a lazy smile plastered on his face.
Alec padded his way to the large velvet chair he was in earlier. The fire was almost out so he built it back up and sunk into the chair. He kicked his shoes off and curled up there. He’d tell Jace he went for a walk and fallen asleep in the library. Whether or not Jace would believe him was far from Alec’s mind.
He sat there, watching the fire and thinking of the magic that had filled his body tonight, and slipped into sleep, dreaming in blue.