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In and out.
3:34 AM.
In and out.
With every breath, Shouta felt his chest constrict as his lungs struggled. Each inhale felt shorter and more forced than the last. He was aware that focusing on his breathing would likely make the issue worse, but part of him felt like if he didn’t concentrate on breathing regularly, he’d forget to. He felt his heart pound in his chest and his mouth grow dry as he tried to calm himself down.
In and out.
3:36 AM.
In and out.
The seconds dragged on, and they slowly began to feel like minutes. Shouta would subtly clear his throat every once in a while, so he wouldn’t cough and wake up his husband lying beside him. Hizashi was usually a heavy sleeper, but Shouta didn’t want to chance it. He repressed loud coughs and replaced them with smaller, quieter ones, but the buzzing in his chest didn’t cease.
In and out.
3:45 AM.
In and out.
Shouta so badly wanted to sleep. Every time he tried, his breathing would pause abruptly and his eyes would fly open. The rattling in his lungs grew more obvious and more annoying as minutes passed. Shouta had developed a strong urge to cough, so he slowly climbed out of bed. He grabbed his blue rescue inhaler from his bedside drawer, and crept into the living room.
He carefully closed the bedroom door and made his way to the couch. A breath of air squeezed its way into his lungs. Instead of exhaling calmly, a grating cough swayed Shouta’s tired body as he slowly sat down. He felt his chest hurt and the rattling continued, albeit not as bad as before.
Another jarring wheeze rattled his body, and Shouta felt himself begin to take rapid, shallow breaths in between coughs. As he took the cap off of his rescue inhaler, he exhaled sharply, causing another grating cough to vibrate in his lungs. Shouta felt his chest buzz with every breath as he shook the canister. He inhaled, taking a puff of the albuterol. Shouta subconsciously straightened his back as he held his breath, placing the cap back on the inhaler and placing it on the coffee table.
After holding his breath for thirty seconds, he exhaled slowly. The rattling was gone, for the time being. As his breathing normalized a little, he felt his heart beat faster as his fingers began to shake. The albuterol started to fully kick in, and Shouta knew that he was going to be up for a while after this.
His asthma rarely acted up outside of allergy season anymore, and when it did, it was only - to his convenience, of course - very late at night. Taking his inhaler meant extending the time he would’ve spent awake by at least an hour or two.
A sudden grating cough shook his body, and stirred up a dull pain in his chest. The dull pain grew sharp as an onslaught of harsh coughs rattled his exhausted form. Each cough was louder than the last, and his chest began to grow tight. His hands trembled from the albuterol, and he sighed heavily as another cough clawed at his throat. Shouta knew that since he just took his inhaler, he’d have to wait at least 30 minutes to take it again. But in attempts to completely ease his discomfort, he heavily debated on just grabbing it and taking another puff anyways.
In the midst of his coughing, he didn’t hear or see Hizashi creep out of the bedroom door. His husband frowned and recoiled in sympathy as he sat down next to him. Hizashi placed a hand on Shouta’s shoulder, making him aware of his presence. Shouta slumped into his husband, his body feeling drained. Hizashi exhaled slowly and placed a gentle kiss on his husband’s forehead. Another flurry of dry coughs shook his whole body, and Hizashi rubbed Shouta’s back in hopes of comforting him some.
“I’m going to grab you some water,” Hizashi stated, tucking his long blonde hair behind his ear as he stood up from the couch. Shouta cleared his throat and nodded, moving a strand of hair away from his eyes. His fingers trembled as he slowly reached for his inhaler on the coffee table. Hizashi grabbed it for him, handing both the glass of water and the blue canister to him. Shouta’s hands shook as he grabbed them.
“Thanks,” Shouta managed, his voice gruff. He cleared his throat again before drinking half of the glass of water in one go. Another cough rattled his lungs and he took another puff of his inhaler. After holding his breath for a few seconds, he exhaled once, and then a second time in relief.
“Sorry I woke you,” He mumbled, looking down at his quivering hands. Hizashi chuckled and slowly shook his head.
“Don’t be,” The blonde replied instantly. Shouta leaned into his husband again, and Hizashi wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
“Is there anything I could do to help?” Hizashi questioned, his voice low. Shouta shrugged, bringing a fist to his lips as he coughed again.
“I’ve taken my inhaler twice now, so I don’t think there’s much else to do but wait,” He muttered, placing his shaky hand onto his lap.
“How come this only ever happens late at night?” Hizashi questioned rhetorically, trying to help lighten the mood.
“I dunno,” Shouta replied with another shrug. “It’s not very convenient.”
“It’s not allergy season, is it?” Hizashi muttered to himself, trying to come up with a plausible cause for his husband’s asthma flare up.
“Sometimes it just acts up for no reason. Probably just a fluke,” Shouta replied, blinking slowly. Hizashi hummed in response.
“I’ve heard coffee helps,” Hizashi suggested suddenly, raising an eyebrow. Shouta gave him a blank look.
“Isn’t it like, four in the morning?” He questioned, his voice lightly laced with amusement.
“Oh yeah,” Hizashi muttered in defeat. Shouta nose-laughed.
“The albuterol from my inhaler is going to keep me up for a while. Coffee would just make it worse,” He explained, causing the blonde to pout.
“That’s lame… I wanted to be helpful,” Hizashi whined, causing Shouta to slowly shake his head in amusement.
“You are being helpful,” Shouta assured. “You brought me water, and you’re keeping me company.”
“Anything for you,” Hizashi grinned widely, pecking his husband’s cheek. Shouta felt the corner of his lips tug upwards in a small smile as Hizashi nudged his glasses up with his finger.
“Thank you for sitting out here with me,” He muttered, a shade of pink dancing across his cheeks. Hizashi’s face flushed as well, and he smiled widely.
“Of course!” He chirped, and then proceeding to clasp his hand over his lips when he realized how loud he was being. Shouta shot him a pointed yet amused look.
“Oops,” Hizashi whisper-shouted, laughter bubbling up in his throat. Shouta loved that sound.
Hizashi sighed and Shouta’s eyes trailed across the walls, landing on the window. It was still dark out, but the sky was lightening as the sun prepared to rise. The street lights were still on, illuminating the dust floating in the air. It created a calm, almost otherworldly atmosphere.
“You feelin’ okay now?” Hizashi questioned after a while, his voice low. Shouta hummed as he rested his head on his husband’s shoulder, not looking away from the window. Hizashi looked to the window as well, and sighed contentedly.
The pair sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company. Hizashi felt Shouta’s breathing begin to slow, and looked to his shoulder. Shouta’s eyes were half-lidded, and he was looking down at his lap.
“Wanna go back to bed?” Hizashi spoke quietly. His husband nodded slowly, and sat up. The blonde reached a hand out, and Shouta took it.
Their hands never separated during the short distance from the living room couch to their bed. Shouta rolled onto his side, placing his head and his hand on Hizashi’s chest. A smile tugged at Hizashi’s lips as he wrapped an arm around Shouta’s shoulder.
“I love you,” Hizashi breathed, his low voice breaking the calm silence between them. A heavy, contented sigh came from Shouta. It took him a moment to reply.
“I love you, too, ‘Zashi,” Shouta murmured drowsily, his warm breath cascading across Hizashi’s chest.
The room was quiet, the only sound being their calm breathing. The atmosphere surrounding them was tranquil, and Hizashi noticed that his husband was asleep on his chest. A smile tugged at his lips and warmth flooded him. It was nights like these when he wondered how he got so lucky.
Hizashi laid in silence for a while, enjoying the comfort that Shouta brought him. He soon felt his eyelids droop in exhaustion, prompting him to carefully sit up and place his glasses on his bedside table before laying down completely. As he relaxed, he delicately tucked a stray piece of hair behind Shouta’s ear, recoiling when he stirred; Shouta had always been a light sleeper.
His husband slowly settled, and Hizashi planted a gentle kiss on his forehead before letting his eyes close. The feeling of warmth and affection flooded through his chest again, and Hizashi felt so happy and so lucky that he was married to someone so wonderful. He almost didn’t want to sleep because he was enjoying his company so much; If he fell asleep, he would be without him until he woke up hours later. Sleep eventually overcame him anyway, but the two never moved apart; They had remained in the same place for the rest of the early morning.
When Shouta awoke around four hours later, he got that same feeling in his chest that Hizashi felt the night before. He felt so lucky to have someone who cared for him so greatly. Even if he didn’t know exactly how to help Shouta through something, he stuck by his side and did whatever he could.
And for him, that was enough.
Shouta moved closer to his husband, closing any possible gaps between them. He didn’t care if they were only inches apart; Shouta just wanted to be as close to him as possible. Hizashi shifted a little, causing his long blonde hair to fall across his face. Shouta smiled fondly and tucked the strand of hair back behind his ear.
“I’m so lucky.”