Chapter Text
Jonathan grinned and leaned forward in his seat. “Okay Karamo! Who are we doing this week?” he asked excitedly, Grabbing Karamo’s shoulder and peering over his shoulder to see the tablet he held.
Karamo grinned and looked each of the Fab 5 in the face. “This week we get to do a superhero!”
They all clapped excitedly, except Bobby, who was driving. He bounced in his seat but kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. “If we’re going to Avengers tower, I’m not sure what it is I have to do! I know for a fact that everything in that place was picked by Pepper Potts, and she has impeccable taste.”
“Apparently this Avenger has a side apartment in Bedstuy. He owns the building and stays there a lot more than the tower.” Karamo explained, eyes on the tablet. “An apparently, it’s a mess.”
Natasha’s face popped up on the screen as she spoke. “I’ve tried everything, so I guess this is what it’s come to.” She rolled her eyes and the video panned to Tony’s face.
“Barton needs help and if we can’t help him, then we need some outside help. You guys are the best bet we have.” He said, his whole face showing how excited he was about the whole project. “Plus, I can’t wait to see the look on his face. This will absolutely be the best episode of Queer Eye ever.”
The video changed, showing Clint leaned against a wall, scowling. “Apparently I don’t have the choice in the matter because it’s good for the public to be able to relate to us or whatever. I don’t think anything is wrong with me. I’ve got an apartment, a pretty sick part time job, a side kick, and a dog.”
When the video shut off, Tan sighed. “What the hell is that man wearing? He had on purple sweatpants with a purple shirt. It wasn’t even the same shade of purple or a track suit or anything.”
“But did you see his arms!?!? I’ll be his damsel in distress any day as long as I get to be held in them!” Jonathan wrapped his arms around himself and sighed.
“If he looks like that he’s gotta keep in shape! He must be eating well! No way you can save the world and not be eating well.” Antoni tried to sound confident, but from the
look on his face he knew that he had to expect anything.
“Well, we’re off to New York to save a superhero!” Karamo looked around the car and the other guys laughed.
“Hell yeah!” they yelled.
****
Clint sat at the conference table and adjusted his hearing aids. There was no way they were working right. What he’d just heard come out of Hill’s mouth… Stark must be fucking with him.
“If you’re going to prank me, at least make it believable.” He said, rolling his eyes and dropping his hands from his ears. His eyes landed on Tony. “Was this your idea? Cause if it was I’m highly disappointed. You’ve gotta have better ideas from pranks than that.”
Tony was giving him a shit eating grin as he leaned forward just a bit. “Not me, Katniss. This wasn’t my idea, but I support it whole heartedly. You definitely need their help.”
Clint was usually good at knowing when Tony was lying. Sometimes the man could fool him, but it was very rare. He sounded like he was telling the truth. Clint’s eyes widened slightly and he looked at Maria, panicked.
“There is absolutely no way in hell you’re serious. I’m a spy! I can’t be on some popular fucking Netfix show!” he yelled, sitting up straight in his chair.
Maria rolled her eyes and set down the file she had been reading from. “Once you became an Avenger, you became useless as a field agent. Your face is too recognizable, you don’t wear a mask, you’ve been on TV before, and they have actual fucking dolls of you, Barton. Your face is already recognizable.”
“Why the fuck this show then!?” Clint yelled. He was starting to get pissed off. Sure, he loved Queer Eye just like everyone else but that didn’t mean he wanted to be on the show.
“Because it’s popular with everybody and you’re the one who fits the bill. It will help the public relate to the Avengers and it will do some damage control to you reputation after you blew up that building last week.” Maria glared and crossed her arms.
“That building didn’t have anyone in it and was the best way to take that alien down!” Clint defended, though he knew that a lot of people were pissed. Their fights always ended with damage to the city, but he had taken the entire building down on purpose, having checked that it was empty first, and it had all gotten caught on camera.
“So I have to go on the show, get a makeover, have these people invade my apartment, and do it all with a smile on my face?”
“Think of it as a mission,” Maria offered, a small smile on her face. “Maybe it will be fun. Plus, you need a bit of a makeover. That apartment of yours really needs to be cleaned as well. You’re doing it.”
Clint looked at the others, hoping for some kind of backup. Tony was still grinning, Steve wouldn’t meet his eyes, Natasha was smiling, Bruce looked like he’d fallen asleep, Thor shrugged, and Bucky had on his usual grumpy face. No one made even a peep in his defense.
“Aw no.”