Chapter Text
What now…
Emma sighs heavily, watching as her breath condenses before her in the cold air. The wind blowing in off the harbor adds a bite to the air as the snow continues to fall gently around her.
There’s the sound of footsteps behind her, so sharp and crisp that even the new layer of snow does nothing to soften the approach of whoever is coming up on her. She wonders idly who it might be.
The steps are too even paced to be a waddling Mary Margaret and too light to be David’s. Also, they don’t have the cocky scuff and scrape which normally accompany Hook’s swaggering gait.
But as she goes through these small details in her mind she realizes, she knew who it was the moment she heard the footsteps and so she turns. Regina’s name on the tip of her tongue is silenced by the harsh sting of the other woman’s palm against her cheek.
The shock of it whirls Emma around and into the railing of the dock as she rubs her tender cheek, “Ow! What the hell Regina?”
She’s about to seriously go off on the brunette but as she turns she sees the angry tears forming in Regina’s eyes.
“How dare you!” Regina snaps and although this situation may have been warranted in the past, Emma is having a seriously hard time coming up with exactly what she’s done recently to deserve this.
“How dare I what?” She asks, her brow furrowing in confusion and maybe even a little hurt.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Regina continues.
“Find out what?” Emma tries again but Regina ignores her questions.
“How could you?” Tears are beginning to track down Regina’s flushed cheeks now and even though Emma is currently on the receiving end of this tirade she still has to resist the urge to wipe them away or at least comfort Regina in some way. “How could you even begin to think about taking him away from me again? After everything we’ve been through?”
And that’s when it clicks for Emma. As Regina stands there, shoulders heaving in anguish, waiting for answers, Emma feels her heart sink slightly.
“Who told you?” Her voice quiet.
“Who told me?” Regina scoffs, wiping angrily at her wet cheeks, “Whom do you think? And if you assume for one second that I am going to allow that slimy, one-handed, walking leather coat to be a bigger part of Henry’s life than me, you have got another thing coming!”
Emma can’t help but roll her eyes slightly. Of course Hook would’ve told Regina about Emma’s plans to return to New York with Henry. It’s obvious how much he envies the easy way Regina and Emma co-parented their son; and after Hook’s latest revelation of dishonesty and manipulation it’s really no surprise that he would try to drive a wedge between Emma and anyone who might actually care about her in any way, shape or form.
“Honestly, Emma…” Regina continues but the rage had left her. Her shoulders sag slightly and her voice breaks, shaking as she speaks, “What were you going to do? Just up and leave with him without telling me? Or maybe give me the courtesy,” the word drips with derision from her mouth, “of a day or two’s notice before stealing him away yet again?”
Emma shakes her head firmly, shaking away not only the accusations but the hurt that accompanies them. She would have hoped Regina thought better of her than that but at the same time…she doesn’t know what she’d been thinking. She hasn’t exactly thought that far ahead, but as she contemplates it a vision of her future seems to materialize in her mind’s eye.
“No, of course not,” she tries to explain to which Regina arches a skeptical eyebrow.
“Then what?” Regina questions sharply.
“I don’t know,” Emma shrugs, going over everything in her mind, “I guess I just…” she pictures their old apartment in New York, hers and Henry’s – except it isn’t just hers and Henry’s anymore.
Regina taps her foot impatiently, “I’m waiting for an explanation, Ms. Swan.” She snaps, using the name she always does whenever she is especially perturbed with Emma.
“I guess I just always kind of a imagined you coming with us!”
The words tumble from Emma’s mouth before properly filtering through her brain but she realizes, with startling clarity, that it’s the truth.
“We had a really good life Regina,” she continues, “a life that you gave us, which…thank you for that by the way, I guess I haven’t really done that yet have I? Thanked you I mean.”
The way Emma trips and stumbles over her words makes Regina’s scowl soften ever so slightly.
“And you and I, we…I don’t know,” Emma throws her hands up in exasperation, “we just kind of figured out how to work well together you know? With Henry and everything. The three of us, we just fit. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, I should have. You should’ve been the first person I talked to about it but whenever I pictured me and the kid heading back out over that town line…it wasn’t just him and me.”
Regina cocks her head curiously to the side with a slight smile on her face that gently encourages Emma to continue.
“I guess I never really thought about the big picture but I imagined the little things. Like Henry and I cleaning up the dishes after one of your amazing meals or you insisting we stop playing video games until Henry’s homework was done.”
Regina feels her chest clench in an unfamiliar way. It’s warm and comforting but terrifying at the same time.
Emma shrugs, “I don’t know when it happened but at some point I guess I started thinking of us as a weird little family unit.”
“It’s not weird,” Regina replies softly, almost all of her anger dissipated by now. Emma offers her a crooked half smile, the one that almost seems pained in its uncomfortable sincerity.
“Do you mean that?” Regina asks, and when Emma tilts her head in confusion she continues, “You want me to come with you and Henry to New York? You want us to…” she pauses momentarily, “…to be a family?”
“Well, yeah,” Emma says simply, “I mean, I didn’t really put that much thought into it. I don’t have any grand plans or anything but…” she trails off, a thought suddenly coming into her head, “…hang on though.” She narrows her eyes accusingly at Regina, “You’re the one hooking up with Mr. Fairytale over here! I mean, the guy’s got a kid Regina! What, were you looking to replace Henry so soon?”
“Of course not!” Regina snaps before deflating once again, “I…” she sighs heavily, “I was lonely, Emma. And he…he pursued me. He didn’t care that I was The Evil Queen.”
“Neither did I…” Emma’s soft reply takes Regina by surprise.
“Well perhaps,” Regina scoffs, “but you also weren’t trying to pursue a relationship with me.”
“Sure I was,” Emma shrugs, peering out over the windswept water. Regina actually physically recoils in surprise at her answer but quickly calms as Emma continues, “It just wasn’t like…the kind where we make out and stuff.” She turns to regard Regina carefully, “But I did want a relationship with you. I wanted to know who had raised my son. I wanted to be a part of that.” She shrugs again, brushing some snow from the railing absentmindedly, “I never really wanted to take him away from you and I sure as hell don’t now.”
Regina feels her face warm with something akin to affection for the blonde. It’s true that Emma has really been the only person for a long time to look at her as just Regina instead of The Evil Queen.
She watches as Emma gently rubs at her cheek, a faint handprint still evident against her pale skin.
“I’m sorry,” Regina offers suddenly, “for…” she gestures vaguely towards Emma’s face.
“For slapping the crap out of me?” Emma supplies, a slight grin taking the bite out of the words. “It’s ok,” she admits, “I deserved it; I should’ve told you first.” She turns to Regina, her grin widening, “But maybe next time you could give me a little warning? Maybe a safe-word or something?”
Regina’s throaty chuckle makes something in Emma do a sort of flip-flop and she has to laugh a little at how much their ‘relationship’ has changed since that first day here in Storybrooke.
Regina is still chuckling as she arches an eyebrow, “Safe-word, huh?” She can’t help the wicked grin that stretches across her face, “Can it be flying monkey?”
Emma clucks her tongue at the well placed burn, “Ok, first of all…” she starts, overly serious, “that is two words. Second of all…ouch. Low blow.” But she’s laughing and Regina is tucking her hair back behind her ear with a slight blush rising in her cheeks at her moment of audacity, not meeting Emma’s eyes.
They stay in companionable silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts as they stared off, unseeing, over the harbor.
“So this kind of sucks,” Emma says finally.
Regina furrows her brow in confusion, “What do you mean?”
Emma huffs; a cloud of breath puffs from her lips, “I mean…” she stretches the word out and rocks back on her heels, obviously uncomfortable with what she’s about to say, “you’re going to have to make a choice.”
Her hands are shoved stiffly in her pockets and she forces her lips together in a tight line that somehow says ‘I’m sorry’.
She watches as it clicks in Regina’s mind, “Between you and Robin,” she says softly.
“Between Henry and Robin,” Emma corrects her; unsure of why Regina would assume that.
Regina smiles sadly, shaking her head, “You know that it’s no question when it comes to Henry.”
Emma nods slowly.
“I would’ve made it work if you left,” Regina admits, “I would’ve come to visit and often too.”
This confuses Emma to no end as her face scrunches incredulously, “Then why--?”
But Regina cuts her off, “I was angry because…” she pauses, gesturing vaguely with her hands as she searches for the words she wants Emma to hear but doesn’t necessarily want to say. She sighs, dropping her hands and her gaze.
“He reminded me of you,” her voice trembles as the words tumble out, “He wasn’t afraid of me. Quite the opposite in fact, he challenged me…just like you had. He took my biting remarks and threw them back at me with a smile. He…” she trails off, an odd look coming over her face. She meets Emma’s eyes suddenly, her tone accusatory, “He’s different here than he was in the Enchanted Forest.”
Emma worries that her brow is going to get stuck in this perpetual state of wrinkled confusion, “Different how?”
“I despised him,” Regina reveals, a slight frown darkening her features as she goes over her newly restored memories in her mind, “And he certainly held no fondness for me.”
“So, what changed?” Emma questions, treading carefully on this new information.
An image of a lion tattoo flashes behind Regina’s eyes and the wheels and cogs of her analytic mind begin to turn.
But Emma doesn’t know that story and she doesn’t much feel like telling it at the moment.
“I…” she starts to offer some sort of explanation; any explanation that isn’t the truth but Emma’s open and honest face, questioning her with worry keeps the lies at bay. Still she doesn’t want to go down that road just yet.
“I don’t know,” she says, turning away from Emma, hoping that perhaps this one time the other woman’s superpower will fail.
After a few moments she hears Emma sigh heavily behind her.
“Well, we’ve still got a witch to battle,” her voice is suddenly tired, weary. She steps up beside Regina, shrugging her shoulders so that her coat and scarf rise to cover her mouth for a moment, keeping the snowy chill at bay for just a bit longer.
“You’ve got time to make up your mind.”
Emma’s low murmur sends a chill up Regina’s spine for more reasons than she wants to contemplate at the moment.
Without waiting for a reply Emma starts off back towards where her yellow bug is parked on the other side of the docks.
Regina almost calls her back.
Almost.
But instead she is left with her thoughts. One in particular taunts her whirling, chaotic mind.
What now?