Chapter Text
“I think I have a crush on Roman Sanders.”
Virgil could hear the eyebrow raise from the phone pressed against his ear as he sat in his closet, breath shaky and mind racing. Remy spoke up, “No shit.”
“Remy! This is serious!” Virgil huffed out, hand gripping his hair as he tried to think of a way to calm down, “He’s my roommate- I can’t- he thinks I’m straight! Oh my god!”
“Virgil, calm down it's not that big of a deal,” Remy sounded borderline bored, “Breath in, honey, because you’re fine.”
“I am not fine!” Virgil shouted into the phone.
He groaned realizing his mistake. Tumbling out of the closet, he laid onto the floor of his room facing the ceiling waiting for the impending doom to greet him. Remy was laughing, and Virgil could practically imagine his best friend pointing at him in that moment. The knock came seconds after.
Patton Moran poked their head in, “Virgil, kiddo, you okay?”
“Fine,” He squeaked, hands over his face, Remy still cackling on the other end of the phone.
Patton sighed, stepping into Virgil’s room, the blue wrist band on the hand he extended to his friend alerting Virgil to he/him pronouns today, “You literally just shouted that you were not fine.”
“It was a joke! Between me and Remy!” He grabbed the phone.
“Speaking of you, Remy,” He hissed, “We’ll talk about this later, you whore.”
“See ya, bitch.”
And with that, his best friend hung up. Virgil sighed pressing his hand two his brow. He took a deep breath before facing the other boy in the room, “Hey Patton, what’s up?”
“Just wondering if you were okay,” He said, soft smile on his face, “But if you say you’re fine I won’t push. You coming out and joining Lo and Ro and I for dinner?”
Virgil weighed his options, “Yeah, I guess. Where are we going?”
“Just down the street to Panda Express,” Patton chirped, grabbing his hand pulling him out to the hallway, and linking his arm with Virgils.
Patton Moran was probably the closest thing that Virgil had to a best friend in college. Of course, Remy was his actual best friend, and had been best friends since they were born- but Patton was also his best friend. The gender fluid boy was amazingly kind, and super cool in Virgil’s eyes. He was kind, and smart, being a creative writing major. Virgil lucked out when it turned out that Patton was his roommate. Course he had two other roommates in the apartment.
Logan Sanders was pretty awesome. The kid was smarter than anyone Virgil had ever known- with an exception of Remy- and was an absolute unit. There was a story behind it, but the 6’5 guy was just as beefy as his twin who was an actual college hockey player, and it kinda made Virgil’s head spin how someone so jacked could use words like elucidate and obfuscate so casually in sentences. It was honestly kind of endearing. It was also endearing how smitten Logan was with Patton- who was well aware of Logan's feelings, and returned them quite happily. The only reason the two weren’t dating yet was because Logan didn’t realize that the crush was requested, and Patton just wants Logan to figure out everything before he makes a move.
Roman Sanders on the other hand was a shit show of fiery passion and absolute douchebagness. When he first met the hockey player he hated him with an unexplained passion. He had been rude, arrogant, loud, intruding, and just an overall jackass to Virgil. And then the year went on and a tentative friendship was built over all night-ers, Disney films, and musicals. And now Virgil was fucking it up. By having a crush on him.
Virgil stopped, covering his face with his hands and groaning. Patton turned to him, “You sure you’re okay?”
“Fine!”
Patton raised a brow, “Yep, that’s why you’re blush is strong enough to see through your makeup and you’re covering your face.”
“Patton?” Virgil whispered, “Shut up.”
Patton giggled, loud and adorable as they stepped into the living room, their two other roommates looking up at the sound of Patton’s laugh. Logan blushed at the boy, who grinned at him. Roman groaned, “What took you two so long?”
“Nothing,” He glanced at Patton who caught on, “Nothing at all.”
Patton giggled again, sending Virgil a wink. He shuddered. Something about Patton’s laugh alerted him to the fact that he probably knew way more than he let on. He sent him a look, as Logan and Roman shot each other confused looks as well.
“Alright so,” Virgil spoke up, running his hands through his hair in an effort to make it look like he wasn’t shaking with nerves, “Panda Express.”
“Panda Express,” Roman echoed, glancing at Virgil’s hands, “You okay?”
“Yep! I’m peachy.”
His phone vibrated in his pocket but he ignored it, instead focusing on the floor. Logan cleared his throat, “Well, we should get going shouldn’t we?”
“Course!” Patton said, linking arms with Logan, “Come on, guys, let’s head out.”
The blush on Logan’s face was more amusing that Virgil was willing to let on, and he saw Roman snickering at his twin and how flustered he was at a single action. Roman turned to Virgil as soon as Logan and Patton were at the door, “Those too are so oblivious, its wild.”
“Um,” Virgil tried to shake the nerves coiling inside him. So what if he was talking to his crush. It was Roman, who was a huge nerd about everything, “I don’t know what kind of propaganda you’ve been sipping, but Patton knows literally everything.”
“Everything, huh?” Roman smirked, and Virgil could feel his face heating.
Virgil coughed, looking away from Roman, and taking a few steps towards the door, “Yes, everything.”
“Sounds like propaganda to me.”
“Dude, are you kidding?” Virgil snorted a laugh, “Patton knows every dark secret I have and I have told him literally none of them.”
He stopped. He looked at Roman, wide eyed, “Oh shit, Patton knows all my secrets.”
“Yeah, and?” Roman raised an eyebrow, “I’m pretty sure they don’t go that dark, doom and gloom.”
“No, no,” he ran a hand through his hair, ignoring his phone once again buzzing in his pocket, “He knows.”
“He knows?”
With a jolt Virgil remembered who he was talking to, and even more importantly about what. Virgil shrank back, “Stuff, he knows stuff. Come on, we should catch up to them.”
And then Virgil avoided him and his questions. He pretended to be watching something on his phone on the elevator ride down, putting any attempted conversation with Roman on halt. He’d speed walk away until he caught up to Patton and Logan, and then proceed to not look at Roman at all during the remainder of the walk. His phone was buzzing once more, but he ignored it in favor of studying everything around him. At the Panda Express he muttered what he wanted to Patton before sitting down, and finally checking his phone. Three missed calls from Remy.
He frowned, “Hey, guys, I’ll be right back.”
“Where you going?”
“My friends been calling.”
With that he pushed away from the crew, tapping Remy’s name as he stood outside of the door.
“Remy? You okay dude?”
Remy’s voice rang loud and clear, “So you remember how earlier I mentioned I was in a car? Right before you dropped the Ro-Ro bomb?”
“Um,” Virgil furrowed his brow, “Yeah, I guess? Also, never call him Ro-Ro again if you value my friendship.”
“Rude. So anyway,” Remy’s voice was louder now, “Guess where I am?”
“I don’t know? Some deadbeat town?”
“Nope. Turn around, bitch,” And with that Virgil whipped his head around, his best friend standing a foot away from him. He let out a shriek, “Oh my god!”
And he tackled his best friend to the ground as Roman, Patton, and Logan came rushing out at his shriek. He was wheezing from laughter at his best friend, whose shades had been knocked off his face from the force of Virgil’s tackle. He snorted, sitting up, straddling his best friend, and grinning big and broad, “How the fuck are you here?”
“Skipped town and haven’t looked back,” Remy snorted, “College is for wimps.”
“Oh my god,” Virgil snorted back at him, “You did not drop out.”
“You’re right I didn’t!” Remy wheezed, sitting up, grabbing his sunglasses and putting them on, “I just wanted to see my honey baby.”
Virgil pushed him back down, “Don’t call me that!”
“Honey baby.” Remy said, smirk etched into his face as he looked at his best friend.
Virgil smiled, returning the sweet name with another, “Baby boy.”
“Bunny babe,” Remy retaliated.
Virgil stifled a laugh, “Cowboy.”
“Daddy.”
Silence enveloped the two before Virgil let out a loud deep laugh, getting off Remy and pulling him up into a hug. He turned to his roommates a wide smile on his face, his cheeks cherry red, “Guys, this is Remy, my best friend.”
“Looks like a little more than friend,” Roman muttered, a dark look on his face.
“Course he’s more than a friend!” Patton grinned, “Virgil said best friend didn’t he?”
Remy grinned, extending his hand, “And you’re probably Patton, Virgil’s other best friend then?”
Patton nodded excitedly taking Remy’s hand, and Remy brought it to his mouth, kissing it gently and sending Patton a wink causing him to giggle loud and clear. Logan looked like he was going to throw a fit as he took Remy’s hand, forcibly shook it and said, “I’m Logan Sanders, Virgil’s roommate.”
“Yikes, girl,” Remy grinned, “You’re gripping my hand harder than Virgil’s-”
“And that enough of you speaking,” Virgil interrupted him before his best friend could destroy his image.
“Awww, but baby,” He flashed Roman a grin, “You haven’t introduced me to the jock.”
“The names Roman,” He spoke quickly, but didn’t take Remy’s outstretched hand, “You know for his best friend, I haven’t heard one thing about you.”
“Well, I’ve heard all about you,” Remy winked, gaining an elbow in the gut from Virgil who glared, frowning at his best friend. Remy just smiled wider, “Either way, would love to stay in chat, but me and my baby have a lot of catching up to do.”
And with that he linked his arm with Virgil’s, before pausing in his stride turning back around, winking, “Hope to see you soon, Patton.”
“Remy! Stop flirting with my friend!” Virgil’s voice trailed off as the two got farther away.
“Aw man,” Patton sighed, “They left before they could get Virgil’s food.”
Roman turned to him, “I think I have bigger fish to fry, Patton. Is Virgil gay? Are him and Remy dating? What is happening in the world?”
“I would hope,” Logan snapped at his twin, “That you would have realized by now that Virgil is literally the gayest out of all of us. And if him and Remy are in a relationship, I would be pretty upset considering Remy’s blatant flirting with Patton.”
Patton frowned concerned etched into his face, “Lo, those were jokes.”
“Were they, Patton?” Logan’s voice was tight.
Roman put a hand on his brothers shoulder. He knew how hard it was for him to express a majority of his emotions, because of previous relationship and friendships. Things that he wasn’t sure Logan was ready to admit to Patton or himself. But he also knew that his brother wasn’t as oblivious to Patton’s feelings as he pretended to be, and now he knew that neither was Patton. Logan looked at him, and for a moment, Roman was reminded of ninth grade. Logan’s first girlfriend. God that was hell. But he looked hurt right now, as hurt as he had been the first time she had cheated on him.
Patton grabbed Logan's hand, looking up at the taller boy, “Yes, they were. And even if they weren’t my hearts pretty set on someone else.”
Logan still didn’t look at Patton but gripped his hand tighter. He faced his brother, “To answer your questions though, yes Virgil is gay. I’m surprised you didn’t know.”
“Well how was I supposed to know,” Roman ran a hand through his hair, a habit he picked up from Virgil’s nervous tendency, “He never told me.”
“Well,” Patton spoke softly, “You two haven’t had the best relationship in the world.”
“But I thought we were getting close. I thought me and him were friends.”
“You guys are friends-”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” Roman laughed bitter and kind of mad, “Actually you guys can eat my food, I think I’m gonna go home.”
And with that Roman was off.
To be honest he was hurt. He had genuinely thought that he and Virgil were becoming friends, he had thought that Virgil trusted him. But he guessed he was wrong.Virgil probably didn’t want to tell him because he had figured out Roman’s crush on him, and wanted to just be friends. After all, how on earth could someone like Virgil like someone like him?
He doubted he was Virgil's type. He was a dickhead who spent to much time on community theater and the other half of the time on hockey. He wasn’t particularly smart and only chose this college to go to because he was afraid of being alone, on his own without his brother. And then he met Virgil.
Virgil was exactly his type if he was honest. Funny, dry, sarcastic, pretty, and amazing. The emo aesthetic was actually fairly attractive on him, and Roman hated him at first. For a month the two antagonized each other as if they were enemies in a movie. And then, one day Roman had come home from an away game with a split lip and a black eye. Logan had fussed over him, but had eventually gone back to his room to read. Patton had done the same with a lot more fussing. Virgil hadn’t done anything, or said anything. That night though, he sat down next to Roman and watched Cinderella with him.
Roman let himself back into the apartment, slipping onto the small balcony they had in the living room. It had been tentative, the silence that overcame them. The kindness that it was filled with as Virgil begrudgingly admitted that he had watched the game on the hockey website, and had been nervous when the Yale team member dropped gloves. The night had ended with a small, “stay safe when you’re on the ice.” But it had thoroughly shook Roman’s world.
And thus his horrible, awful, no good, really bad crush was born. He had a crush- on what he thought- was a straight boy, who hated him.
And here he was, pining over his friend, when his friend was currently running around with a guy who clearly had him enchanted. Virgil had smiled more with Remy in a few minutes than he had ever smiled at him.
Roman didn’t want to admit he was kind of jealous.
He slipped on his headphones, and lost himself in the soothing tones of Mayday Parade.
He didn’t notice the passage of time, the slow turning of blue to purple to black. Lost in his music and his thoughts, leaning against the railing, staring out to the sky. He ignored Logan's concerned questions when he and Patton got back, staying quiet and thinking. Patton didn’t try, presumably after Logan had warned him off Roman’s mood. He didn’t really wanted to talk, he wanted to brood.
It was only when he felt a warm presence slip next to him, the air heavy with the smell of Virgil’s shampoo. He glanced at the smaller boy, eyes taking note of his wet hair, and the pajama top that he could have sworn was his brothers. He glanced back at the sky, taking his headphones off and pausing his songs.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was gay.”
Virgil wasn’t looking at him either, but Roman responded anyway, “You know I’m gay right?”
“Flamboyantly so.”
“So why didn’t you trust me with that information?” Roman kind of hated how his voice sounded more betrayed than anything.
Virgil looked at him, studying his profile, “It wasn’t trust… it just didn’t ever come up.”
“Yeah well,” Roman’s voice was dry, “It would have been nice to know.”
“Yeah.” Virgil muttered, "Patton said you were hurt I didn't trust you with it. I'm sorry."
"Eh, you aren't obliged to come out to me," Roman glanced at him, “So. Remy.”
“Yeah, Remy,” Virgil sighed, running a hand through his hair, showing his unease, “Don’t take him to seriously, he’s a huge flirt but he means no harm. And honestly he’s currently inside trying to get under Logan’s skin by flirting with Patton.”
“So you two aren’t together then?”
Virgil laughed, “No, no, god no. I love Remy, but he is so not my type. Besides, I’ve had a pretty dramatic realization. I like a guy.”
Roman deflated. Oh. Of course Virgil liked someone. And if Remy wasn’t Virgil’s type, then there was probably no chance that he was. He sure as hell wasn’t Virgil’s crush either. He spoke again, looking away, “So what is your type?”
“Well,” Virgil hesitated, “I’m kinda into six foot six theater nerds, who like Disney, and can talk me through panic attacks, and is obsessed with hockey and talks to face and gives me weird nicknames.”
Roman stood up a little straighter, looking at Virgil with wide eyes. Virgil just grinned, ‘What’s your type?”
“I like, um,” He stumbled over his words, and the coy smirk on Virgil’s face edged him to say the truth, “I like five foot ten emo boys, who enjoy watching and analyzing disney, and worried about me during hockey games, and it obsessed with art and art theory, and responds to my bad attempts at flirting with sarcastic comments.”
“Your type sounds familiar,” Virgil’s grin widened.
Roman let a smile escape, “Yours does too. Though, I gotta say, I’m still not sure if my type likes me.”
“Well,” Virgil bit his lip, raising a brow, “There might be a chance that your type just figured out his feelings for you.”
“Really now?” Roman said, “So you’re positive my type likes me back?”
“Pretty positive,” Virgil was leaning towards him, the small balcony making it so that they were already pretty close. Roman studied his eyes for a moment.
He leaned closer to Virgil as well, “Would there be a chance that my type would grant me with a chance to kiss him?”
The only response was a press of lips to his own.