Chapter Text
Memories of THE a Summer Trip by Lee Jihoon.
"Not again, please!"
I almost yell as I throw another sheet of paper into the already full trash bin. It bumps on the rim of the bin and rolls over to my feet.
I'm stuck, again . Fuck this writer block! Last year was pure hell because of it and I thought it was gone but here I am.
My mind is blank, I cannot think of a single word or sentence that would make sense for a song. I had no problems whatsoever in composing the beat of the song, however, every word seems to be so inappropriate for it. They seem to be so clichè and already voided of their meaning and value as they had been used over and over again in the same ways. "I love you", "hold me", "from head to toe, I like everything about you" who never heard or even sang along to this kind of lines?
I want it to be a song about a love that hits you hard, that takes you in so many different ways, that even after time passes you still feel as if it's the first time you experience it. A kind of love that I haven't felt for quite a long time and maybe that’s why I can't seem to find the right words to express it.
I keep scribbling and erasing lines on pieces of paper, throwing them when the frustration is too much to bear and start all over again. I almost pulled out my hair off thinking about what to write and the fact that this song is due in two weeks. I am so dead if I can't meet the deadline.
As I am repeatedly hitting my head on the desk trying to get a concussion and pass out to avoid dealing with this block, I have a brainwave: last year, when I was stuck, going to the beach was really helpful. It made me think of my hometown, my friends back there, the noona I used to like and to whom I couldn’t confess. I filled almost an entire notebook with lyrics and ideas for new songs. Maybe I can do the same this time too and see if the sea is willing to be my muse, again.
Now, the problem is my boss. People in my company always say that I’m the apple of his eyes and that he does anything I ask but even if it’s true, he can still get angry with me thinking that this time I want to just laze around and not actually do my job.
They say he’s quite scary when he gets angry and I wish I won’t ever see him like that in my life.
However, I need to do this, so I muster my courage and call my boss to ask him if I can actually stay away for a few days. To my surprise, he agrees quite quickly and without any complaint.
I go back to my house to pack my things and then take the first train for Gangneung deciding to find a B&B to sleep in once I'm on the train.
There are a lot of beaches nearer Seoul, I know that, but I fell in love with this one since the first time my feet touched its sand.
In summer it's packed with people spending their days off of work with their families or friends at the beach. Everyone is busy doing their own things: some play soccer or volleyball in the fields on the beach or on the shore; the kids play with their parents or little friends making castles and modelling the sand as they like, pretending to be chefs, doctors, astronauts, archeologists or they simply dig the sand for hours until they can find water or to bury themselves in it; some people just enjoy bathing in the rays of the sun or taking long walks on the waterfront. Well, it can be a lot noisy but if you can find the right spot, it can be actually peaceful. It's just you, the sweet sound of the waves, the smell of salt water that the light breeze brings under your nose, that same breeze that caresses your skin, the warmth of the sun that grazes your skin, the colours of the sea and the sky that fill your eyes. You can feel free, like the seagulls that fly high in the sky among the clouds and are able to enjoy all of that for the rest of their lives without ever getting bored of it.
I was like those seagulls when I lived back in Busan, I couldn't get sick of the sea, not even in winter when everything was surrounded with a melancholic atmosphere. I really loved that feeling of being one with nature and that freedom you experience when looking at the horizon. Even though you know it's not like that because the sea has its end, it feels as if you're looking at the infinite and that you can be part of it. Moreover, I always felt safe in the embrace of the waves as if it was okay to forget about my problems and pain when I was in its arms and drift away in a place where I could be happy and smile with the people I loved or even alone. The sea is that kind of place to me. It's my paradise on earth.