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Universe of the Underground

Chapter 12: steven is fucking poor

Summary:

steven finds out that the US dollar means nothing in this world

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Steven ventured forward, halting right before a small bridge. Almost missing it, he turned to his left partially behind him, to spot...

...An ice cream stand??? In the cold????

He curiously made his way up to the ice cream cart, which even sported a red and yellow-striped umbrella. He overheard the vender mumbling to himself, who appeared to be a blue bunny sporting a yellow shirt and red suspenders, perfectly matching his umbrella. As he leaned over his cart, his ears drooped down in a somber fashion revealing his sorrow.

"I don't understand why these aren't selling... It's the perfect weather for something cold."

Wanting to help out, Steven stood on his tippy-toes and voiced out, "People usually don't want something cold when it is cold." He folded his arms over the cart, curious for a response and justification.

Just then, the bunny perked up, surprised to hear a voice at all. Ignoring Steven's concerns, he shouted, "OH!!! A CUSTOMER!!!" Adjusting his position to be more professional and upright, the vender cleared his throat. "Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart!"

Surprised by the sudden change of mood (and wanting to make his day), Steven hesitantly nodded. "Um, sure! What kind of flavors are there?"

The Nice Cream vendor slid open the cart's built-in container and shuffled around. "Well, we have 21 distinct flavors!" He pondered for a moment as he brought out a wrapped block of ice cream on a stick. "This one is... strawberry. Interested?"

Steven instantly perked up. "Yeah!!" He shuffled through his front pockets for money. Pulling out roughly 35 dollars, he inquired, "How much is it?"

"15 gold...?" He curiously looked at the paper bills in Steven's hand, almost as if he has never seen anything like it before.

"--Gold???" Out of surprised, he dropped all of his money, floating gently to the ground. "Ah jeez, I don't have that!! I'm sorry!" He knelt to pick everything he dropped and shove it back into his pocket, embarrassed.

"W-well... Why don't I give a free sample?" The bunny leaned over the cart, generously extending his hand to offer the ice cream bar on a stick. "I don't usually do this, but..."

Steven bounced back up, absolutely surprised. "Ohmygosh! Really??"

Taken aback by the glee of the human child in front of him, he stuttered. "Y-yeah! Sure!! You'll come by to buy one if you have money, right??"

"Yeah!! I promise!" He took the frozen treat from the vender's blue paws and studied it before walking away. "Thank you so much!!"

"You're welcome!!!"

Crossing the very short bridge, Steven looked at the wrapper of the Nice Cream. Curious, he unwrapped it, and studied the writing on the inside...

Is this as sweet as you?

Steven's heart melted as he read the words off of the paper, internally letting out an 'aww.' Putting the wrapper in his back pocket and taking a bite of the ice cream, he spotted the world-famous Sans just ahead. After cringing due to a sudden-yet-expected brain freeze, he passed the giant snowball and ran on over to greet the stout skeleton. "Hey, Sans!!"

"oh, hey stev'o. i've been thinking of selling treats, too." He winked, adding, "want some fried snow? it's only five cents."

Steven, interested in how fried snow works and noting how it's actually within his price range, used his free left hand to dig into his front pocket as he took a bite of the ice cream with his other. "Mh, o'kay."

"oh, did i say five cents? i meant five dollars."

Steven froze for a moment, then resumed searching for the appropriate amount of money. "M'kay."

"did i say five dollars? i meant fifty dollars."

Almost tempted to do a spit-take, he literally had just pulled out his dollar bills and was about to count out five. He swallowed and with a grin, Steven held a puzzled look with Sans. "I can't... afford that."

"yeah, you're right. that's still too low."

Even more baffled, knowing he'll never get to hold this apparent fried snow, Steven shoved the money back into his pocket. "How does fried snow even work??"'

"well, you take snow and you fry it."

"Wouldn't it melt???"

Sans shrugged in response. "how should i know? i didn't fry the snow yet."

Steven gave in started giggling at this apparent silliness. "Heheh, then, why are you even selling it???"

Sans shrugged again, clearly enjoying messing with him.

Almost forgetting he's holding ice cream and about to drop it, Steven attempted to contain himself and breathe. "You're really silly."

"that's my middle name, after all."

Letting out one last snicker, Steven waved goodbye and turned back around, only to be greeted with the giant snowball he missed earlier. It seemed to be placed on a pathway leading to a hole, like a golf course. Except, sadly, there isn't any golf clubs. Finishing the Nice Cream and sticking the stick into his back pocket along with its previous wrapper, he decided to try something out-- to kick the ball into the hole.

He gently kicked it, to see how far it would go without absolutely shattering it. To his surprised, the ball rolled quite far and showed no sign of damage. Steven aligned himself better and punted it toward the goal, watching it skip along the snowy ground and place itself just next to the hole. He dashed up next to it, and gently nudged it into the hole with his foot.

A red flag slowly sprung from the hole, with a note and leather pouch taped to the pole. Reaching for it, Steven then pulled it off and read,

Your concern and care for "Ball" led to a delicious victory.

He placed the note back where it was, tape still attached, and took the small bag instead. He curiously opened it, peeking inside with only an eye...

 

Inside, was 1 gold coin.

"...Well, better than nothing???"

Steven took out the singular gold coin and put it in one of his front pockets, reattaching the pouch to the pole as well. He moved forward, unsure of what to expect next.

Notes:

i have no idea if these chapters are getting shorter but i completed the papyrus fight and shit. i just have to work up to it which is a pain because i just wanna! post it grrr