Chapter Text
Even woke up to the sound of insistent knocking on his door. He groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then yelled, voice hoarse: "Come in!"
"Even. Hi! I made some more coffee for you, it's on the counter." Isak looked at his watch, muttering a swear under his breath. "I have to go or I'll be late. Bye!"
Isak turned around to leave but he stopped in his tracks when Even spoke up, still under the duvet and not bothering to open his eyes:
"Maybe you will find a hot doctor to hook up with now that you'll work as an intern at hospital" Even mentally slapped himself for saying that Why am I such a dick oh my god
Isak looked at him and there were so many emotions reflecting in his eyes that Even didn't know what to make of them all.
"I doubt that."
"Isak wait..."
"Forget it. We'll talk later." He said after slamming the door behind him.
Fuck
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After breaking up with Sonja, Even needed a new place to stay. At the moment, moving in with your girlfriend of 5 years seemed like a rational decision. Too bad that he ignored the cracks in their relationship that had been showing for so long. They had many fights, many breaks but Even was a forgiving person by nature, maybe too forgiving.
There was something like a weird compromise between them. Sonja was controlling and annoyed the hell out of him when she was monitoring him and acting like a babysitter, but the truth was that Even had done his fair amount of shitty things and he pretended not to care about Sonja's behaviour. He cheated on her twice. Once with Mikael and it counts even though it was in a moment of pure mania because he did have feelings for him, and once with a guy at the party that he can't even remember because he was drunk and high out of his mind after a bad fight with Sonja. And there's also the fact that she put up with all his moods and took care of him like nobody else during his episodes.
So yes, they had an arrangement, they had to stick with each other because it was all they had ever known, their relationship was a safety net they were both too scared to leave.
But after a year of living together, neither of them could stand it anymore and Even knew that if they continued they would grow to resent each other completely and he didn't want that, because Sonja had been his first love and a huge part of his life. They did have strong feelings for each other once, but they simply fell out of love and the most alarming part was that Even didn't know when that happened. So they broke up and both agreed that it's for the best to separate as soon as possible so that they can still be on amicable terms.
He left their apartment like the gentleman he is and decided to look for a new place. But he couldn't live on his own becuase it was too expensive, no matter how many tips he got at KB and he didn't want to milk his parents of all their money. Thanks to Elias, he found out about a friend of Sana's who was just starting uni and moving out of a shared apartment.
After a few months he decided that living with Isak had been the best decison he had ever made. He was kind of falling for him but decided to brush his feelings off because he was still not completely over Sonja and Isak had also just got out of a relationship in a not very friendly way. He caught his ex cheating on him the day after they talked about moving in together. Even couldn't understand why somebody would hurt the angel that Isak was that way.
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After Isak left, Even got up and got dressed to go to uni.They had been living together for more than a year now. He was in his third year of film school as he wanted to fulfill his all-time dream of becoming a director. He coudn't pay attention to any of the classes that usually stirred his interest because his mind was wandering to some completely different places. He took notes though while bouncing his feet uncontrollably and looking at the clock anxiously.
As soon as he was done with the never-ending classes, he took his two hour shift at KB where he couldn't focus either and almost spilled coffee on the customers more than once. His shift was almost over when his phone pinged with a message and his heart pounded in anticipation thinking it was Isak. He groaned when he saw it was just Mikael who invited him over to smoke a joint.
Even sighed in frustration, but decided that he could use a smoke to get his mind off things.
•
"I just don't get it. You like him, he likes you. Why won't allow yourself to have this?" Mikael said as he blew a ring of smoke into the air.
They were sitting side on the floor and Even was silently counting the dots on the curtains. 21, 22, 23-
"Even! Are you even listening to me?!" Mikael growled.
Even sighed "Yes I heard you. And it's not that easy."
"Why?"
"Because I am a fuck up. That's why. Sonja hardly put up with me and she grew to hate me. I don't want Isak to go through that. He's way too good for me."
"You know what? You are not a fuck up, you are stupid. And not only are you stupid, but you are also a big coward."
"Mik-"
"Don't Mik me now. Listen to me! Just because you had a bad relationship and an even worse experience with me, it doesn't mean that it is always going to be like that. And people don't have to 'put up with you'. You are nice to be with. If you were an asshole I wouldn't be your friend, trust me. But now that I think about it, you kind of are an asshole, because you took a decision for Isak without even asking him how he feels."
"I didn't-"
"Yes, you did. Didn't it use to bother you when Sonja did that? When she dimissed your feelings? When she did things without asking you first? You won't even give him a chance when he made it so clear that he wants to be with you."
"I-"
"You deserve happiness Ev. No matter how hard it is for you to get it through your thick head. You are a great, you are compassionate, selfless, generous, so smart, and a nice person in general. Anybody would be lucky to date you."
Even was dumfounded by Mikael's speech and looking at him with his mouth gaping.
"I don't know how else to make you see."
"Make me see what?" Even mumbled after a few minutes when he collected himself, as he took another smoke and closed his eyes feeling the effect the weed had on him already.
"That Isak cares about you. And that he would do anything for you."
"I know that."
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It was only a month after he moved in together with Isak when he had an episode. Now if he thinks about it, it happened because he took the drinking and smoking game a little too far and forgot to take his meds more than once, but alose because of all the changes in his life: the break up with Sonja, changing apartments and the stress from uni wasn't really helping either. When he felt himself slipping, he immediately went back to his parents' because even if Isak knew about his bipolar, it didn't mean that he had to deal with it. But after two weeks of not returning home, Isak was at his door.
"Hey roomie" Isak said sitting next to him on the mattress, Even was facing the wall and not looking at him.
No answer
"The house is kind of empty without you. I think it misses you."
The ghost of a smile appeared on Even's face.
"Or it was me that missed you."
At that Even turned around to face him.
"Oh, you don't believe that? I have been kind of starving without your food, you know? I thought that in our roomates contract it was clearly stated that you had to do me favours, such as cooking in order to live with me."
"There's a contract?" Even raised his eyebrows.
"Ja. Of course. Your mom hired me to be your roomate. Why do you think I agreed to live with you?"
"Oh really?"
"Ja. I get 500kr per week. Also written in the contract."
Even laughed: "I should look over that contract then...Wait, you said 'favours'. What else am I supposed to do?"
Isak thought for a few minutes and his cheeks turned a shade of pink.
"Umm how about you should do the dishes when it is your turn to do them?"
"It was only once that I forgot!" Even exclaimed.
"What about that time you didn't do the laundry and it smelled like rotten mold for a week in the entire apartment? I had to ask Eskild to borrow me lavender spray."
"It wasn't that bad!"
"It was, you just couldn't smell it because of that weed nose of yours."
Even laughed again.
"I like seeing you smile" Isak commented and Even's heart fluttered.
"For real now" Isak continued. "Why did you leave in the first place, I knew about your bipolar, no need to hide it from me."
Even's face fell again.
"I just didn't want you to see me like this...or to feel like you have to look after me."
"But I want to look after you because I care about you." His face was red again. "I mean, the contract says...no fuck it. Ev, there's nothing wrong in you needing somebody to help you sometimes, it doesn't mean that you are weak or anything. People need people. And...I would like to be that person for you since we live together and we are...friends...we are friends right?" Isak was rambling.
Oh how I wish we weren't just friends. "Of course we are." Even reassured him.
"So will you come home with me then?" Isak's eyes were full of hope.
"Okay."
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Even smiled at the memory. His joint was finished now and Mikael was done with his second one. He seemed to be in a completely different universe.
"I don't know what I am going to do with you."
It was dark already and Even opened the window, letting the cool air of the night hit his face as he took a deep breath.
"By the way, you two have both been moping around since that party at your place last week. What happened?" Mikael asked and Even was wondering how he could still form coherent sentences considering how high he was.
"We...we kissed. And I pretended that I didn't remember it."
"Oh shit."
"Yeah."
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It was Magnus' birthday and they let him have a party at their place because it was much bigger than his and because they are good friends. Even quickly grew close to all of Isak's friends after he met them. The apartment was packed and there were so many people there that they didn't even know that Even wondered how they let things go so far. The music was blasting way too loud for his liking, he couldn't see anything through the thick smoke and it smelled like weed, alcohol and...sex. Everybody was hooking up all around him and Even could only pray that nobody would fuck on his bed.
"Even" Isak's voice snapped him from the very unwelcome images of finding his bed in complete disarray and covered in somebody else's...liquids.
"Somebody took a piss on our bathroom floor."
"Disgusting." Even groaned. "We are ending this party right now."
"I agree. But first, go clean the bathroom because else that smell is going to hunt us for months."
"Why me?" Even squealed.
"Because it is your fault. You told Magnus we could host his party."
"There is no way I am touching somebody else's piss." Even complained.
"You don't have to touch it. Just use a mop."
"A what?" Even asked.
"Oh my god. I can't believe I have to teach you how to do cleaning. I will come with you jesus christ." Isak said as he grabbed him by the arm to lead the way and Even could feel his pulse quicken at the touch.
As they entered the bathroom and closed the door, of course that Isak slipped. Even only hoped that it was water and not piss they were standing on as he caught Isak from falling and face-planting on the hard tiles. With Isak still in his arms and them staring at each other intensely, they kissed. And it was the most ridiculous place and way in which two people could have their first kiss, but it happened.
Even could blame it on the fact that his brain was clogged with alcohol or that he had been watching couples making out for the whole night with envy, but in reality it happened because they had both been pining for a long time. They smashed their mouths together, pressing their lips harder and harder on each other's, as if they were in the middle of some kind of war.
Even cupped Isak's face with both his hands and tilted his head to deepen the kiss and he could feel Isak melt under his touch as he let out a small moan that only made Even's heart beat faster than it already did. And it felt so good and familiar, as if they had done this before. They were caught in their own bubble until somebody opened the door, startling them and making them pull apart, still panting.
They didn't speak about the incident for the rest of the night. They just both made sure everybody left their apartment and then Even passed out on his bed.
The next morning when they were both sitting at the kitchen table and avoiding each other's eyes, Even said:
"Fuck. I don't remeber anything that happened last night, I was so drunk. I hope I didn't do anything stupid, did I?" He hadn't been drunk, he only had one beer, two at most and Isak most likely knew that. He also remembered everything in vivid detail. Why are you like this oh my god
Isak only looked at him with wide eyes and mouth gaping.
"You didn't...do anything stupid." Isak said as he swallowed hard, got up and then went to his room, closing the door behind him.
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Even's memory was interrupted, again, by the sound of knocking on the door.
"Oh." Mikael said. "I invited Yousef and the boys. Wanna stay more?"
"No. I should go home. Isak must have arrived already and I have to apologise for being a dick this morning." Even said as he got up to leave.
"Even? Do me a favour and cut the bullshit.Tell Isak how you feel."
"I will." Even nodded as he took the tram and went back to his place.
Surprisingly, Isak wasn't home and it was pretty late. He usually texted him if he was spending the night at Jonas', but then again, he seemed mad at him and maybe that is why he didn't tell him anything. Even wanted to take a shower and go to bed to wallow in self-pity when his phone rang.
"Hello. Is this Even Bech Næsheim?” Even’s heart hammered in his chest.
"I’m calling you because Isak Valtersen has you listed as an emergency contact. He is in critical condition as he was..."
Even dropped the phone.
No no no this can't be happening