Chapter Text
When Even got the phone call that night, he felt like the ground had been swept off his feet, as if it was the end of world.
“Hello. Is this Even Bech Næsheim?” Even’s heart was in his throat. Shit this can’t be good.
"I’m calling from the Oslo University hospital. Isak Valtersen has been involved in a car accident and he has you listed as an emergency contact."
Even swears his heart stopped in that moment. His ears were ringing and his vision was getting blurry. He dropped the phone.
No no no no
“Sir? Are you still there?”
No no no no this can’t be happening it must be a dream, a nightmare. He would wake up and Isak would be there holding him and kissing his tears away-
“Hello?”
He snapped back to reality and clutched the phone to his ear with trembling hands.
“Yeah Yeah I’m here.”
“I know this might be…hard to hear but he is in critical condition. He-”
Even couldn’t hear anymore, tears were already falling down his cheeks and he felt like suffocating.
“I’ll be there in 10.”
And that day had started so good.
***
Even woke up to the feeling of kisses being pressed all over his face. He giggled and opened his eyes slowly. Isak was on top of him with a blinding smile and blonde curls dangling all over. And if that sight didn't do wonders to him, even though it was the image he had been waking up to for years now.
"Hi! Good morning sleeping beauty. I made coffee and I'm late" he said and was ready to get out of bed but Even grabbed him by the middle.
"5 more minutes. I need morning cuddles and kisses."
Isak laughed and rolled his eyes. "No. I am meeting Sana in 10 minutes. I have to go." But Even was having none of it and pulled Isak on top of him again to kiss him.
"When did you become so needy?" Isak asked after a 5-minute-long make out session that left him breathless. "Fuck stop if we continue I'll really have a problem." He pulled away and Even pouted.
"You know you used to be just like this?" Even asked as Isak was putting on a jacket. "I mean you were the one begging me to stay in bed with you more. But then you got into med school and became so mature and busy and stressed 27/4."
"That's what med school does to you." Isak pointed out. "Today is important because they will finally let me work as an intern at the hospital. I'm so excited and you should be happy for me." He continued as he grabbed a banana and his keys from the kitchen counter. He sighed when he saw that Even was still frowning. "See you tonight okay? We'll do whatever you want then."
Even smiled. "You'll do that thing you do in the shower?" He raised his brows suggestively.
Isak rolled his eyes "Sure. Whatever. Bye." He said as he closed the door behind him.
"Love you!" Even shouted after him but Isak had already left.
***
Even doesn’t think he had run this fast in his entire life. Not even years ago, back when Isak gave him an ultimatum and he went running to his apartment.
After he arrived at the hospital, everything was in a blur. He barely registered the doctor's words: surgery, brain trauma, broken ribs, massive internal bleeding. It was a lot to take in and he didn’t understand half of the words anyway. Isak is the med student. He would know this. Which immediately led him to a horrible thought: It should have been me. Not him. It should have been me.
He called his parents because he needed some kind of comfort. He was a man in his twenties and he was bawling like a baby in his mother’s arms in a hospital waiting room.
***
"The good news is that he survived the surgery. The bad news is that...he is in a coma now."
***
After Isak left, Even sighed and got dressed because he was also supposed to go to uni. He was in his last year of film school and he worked as an intern at nrk. They were filming a tv show for teenagers at the moment.
He was not famous. Yet. He only posted short movies on youtube that he filmed with Mikael's help, which were actually their assignments for school. It is true that they had a lot of views and positive comments, but he was far from becoming a director. He was working on something big though. But it was also far from from being done.
The day passed by pretty quickly. After school and work, he hung out with the boys for a while. Met Yousef who was studying to become a history teacher and chatted a bit. Arranged a double date the next day because they both agreed that Sana and Isak were too stressed and needed a break. Yousef's phone pinged and he said that he got a text from Sana that she would be home soon so he should go.
Even nodded and after checking his own phone, he saw that there was no text from Isak. He went home and it was an hour later and there was still no sign from his boyfriend, even though he tried calling him repeatedly. He didn't worry too much though, it was not the first time Isak came home late and said it was because he was held back at work and that his phone had died.
Even thought about calling Yousef to see if Sana got home when his phone finally rang. But it was not who he was hoping for.
***
Day 1
“Hi baby. The doctors told me that it would be good if I talked to you a little. Apparently it is said that people in comas can hear everything around them and that some patients who woke up confirmed that. I remember that you didn’t believe in this when we were watching 'If I stay.' You said: Oh Even that’s bullshit I don’t think comas work like that. But I sure hope that you can hear me now.”
Day 2
“I said that I wouldn’t cry again but I can’t.” He sobs. “I miss you so much. Every minute that you don’t wake up is pure torture. I miss your eyes” he traces his fingers along his face softly, careful not to disturb the oxygen mask “And your smile and your laugh. I even miss your grumpiness and the snarky remarks. God baby I miss you.”
Day 3
“I know I have said this a thousand times for the past 4 years we have been dating, but it still doesn’t feel like I have said it enough. I love you so much, i have never loved someone as much as I love you. It scares me sometimes, how strong my feelings for you are, but I am not scared of our love, no, it is the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me.”
Day 4
“Please fight Isak. Please don’t leave me please please. I can’t do this without you.”
Day 5
“You know who visited you today? Sana, Eva, Noora, Vilde and Chris. The boys are coming here almost every day too. They miss you. Your friends need you Issy. Actually I need you because I realised something. You are not just my soulmate, you are my entire soul. You are all of me, my entire world, my universe. I don’t think that I can live without you. I am serious. Actually maybe I could, but I definitely don’t want to. I refuse to exist in a word where you don’t.”
Day 6
“You sure scared the shit out of me today baby. I really thought that I had lost you…I have never felt that scared in my entire life. Maybe just when I got the call from the hospital that you were here. But you are stable now, so it’s okay. Don’t ever do that again please. ”
Day 7
“I need you. Maybe I am going to sound selfish when I say this, but please do it for me. Wake up. I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I can’t function, I can’t breathe. I think I am slipping. Please I am begging you here. I need you.”
Day 8
“Wake up wake up wake up”
***
And he did. It was a miracle, according to the doctors.
"Hi" Even told him that day, squeezing his hand hard like he had been doing for the past 9 days. “I missed you” Tears were already forming in his eyes and threatening to fall.
Isak looked confused, there was no recognition in his gaze.
“Who are you?”
***
Isak doesn't remeber him. Great. Out of all the 'what if's' conversations they had, it had to be this one that became reality. He would rather they lived on streets. Or Isak joined the circus. Or literally anything except for this. But he made a promise back then. And if it had been him and him only that Isak forgot about, maybe Even would have broken the promise and said alright. He deserves somebody better anyway. But Isak doesn't seem to remeber anybody else. Not his parents, not his friends, not even who he himself was before the accident.
He looks like a lost child, hurt, scared and confused, eyes vacant and soul empty. And Even would be damned if he wasn't the one to help Isak in this state. The doctor said that there was a slight chance he might remember things, at least glimpses of his past, but it could take weeks, months or even years. And Even was willing to take that chance.
"Hi b"-he can't say that now, god it hurt. "Isak. How are you feeling?" He sits next to his bed on a chair, and has to stop himself again, from reaching to take Isak's hand in his own.
"Better. My head isn't killing me anymore. And they took off the oxygen mask."
"Good. I'm glad." Even smiles. "Look I brought you some clothes and some books from home so you don't get bored while staying here. Just your nerdy stuff, astronomy and biology, that's all you ever read."
"We live together?" Isak asks mouth open.
Oh shit shit. Don't overwhelm him with too much information, that's what the doctors said.
"Yeah. We are...flatmates." What the fuck
"Flatmates? Nice. You seem like a nice flatmate."
Even raises his eyebrows: "Really? How so?"
"Well apart from the fact that you look...like that..."
Even chuckles. Is Is he flirting with me? Is he trying to kill me? God.
"I don't know, you seem genuinely nice, like the kind of person who always does the chores and stuff."
The older man snorts. "Actually it's you that is obsessed with doing the dishes and laundry. I forget about them sometimes."
"Then why do I live with you?" Isak smirks but there is no maliciousness in his tone, only a hint of teasing.
Good question. Even asked himself that a couple of times. "Well maybe becaue of my..." he can't make a sexual joke godammit. "Cooking skills. You love my cooking." That's not really a lie.
"If you say so." Isak smiles but then doubles over and winces in pain.
"What's wrong?!" Even asks coming to take a closer look, eyes full of concern.
"It hurts...to breathe. Bad."
"Hold on. I'll ask for help."
***
After that day he crashed. It was expected, he knew it would happen. His life had been pretty chaotic the past week and a half. He barely slept and only took his meds a few times. The mania was short-lived but the depression that came after...the worst he's had in years because this time Isak wasn't around to baby him and make his days a little brighter. He stayed with his parents and they did everything they could, but he was too far gone in his head.
***
Darkness
Silence
Lights turned off and on
Motion outside his room
A hand-his mom's on his back sometimes
A glass of water and a sandwich on the nightstand
Dogs barking outside
The woosh of the air
The sound of the clock ticking
Days. Weeks passing
Tears. A lot of them.
***
"Hey roomie" Isak sits next to him on the mattress. "For somebody who said that he lived with me, you sure don't seem to."
No answer
"I heard about your bipolar, didn't mean to intrude. Sorry. One of my 'friends', Magnus? Is that his name? Yeah I think so. The blonde one anyway, he told me and I'm sorry if you didn't want me to know. I don't remeber if we were close or anything, but that is your apartment too, and I don't think that the fact that I don't remeber you should stop you from coming home. So what do you say? Will you come home with me?"
Even wants to laugh because even now, when he doesn't remeber him, after almost dying and being in a coma for more than a week, Isak still cares about him and is still the one to look after him when it should be the other way around.
"Okay." The ghost of a smile forms on his face.
***
After that, he started feeling better and went back to uni and work.
"We are not just rommates, are we?" Isak blurts one day.
Well shit