Chapter Text
Adam: Welcome to the Waterdeep Adventurer’s Guild! Why don’t you all introduce your characters? Lance and Keith, since you’re our guild leaders, why don’t you go first?
Lance(as Gael): Hi, my name is Gael and I’m a wizard. Don’t let all the joking around fool you–I have kind of a thing for killing.
Keith: Lance, what the fuck?
Gael: And if you don’t like me, that’s your problem, ‘cause I have an Intelligence of 18.
Keith, sighing(as Cerrano): Hey Gael, I’m Cerrano Browersback, and I’ve been a sailor for twenty-eight years, which also happens to be how old I am! I have two rapiers named Audacity and Panache, and I’m basically the coolest dude ever.
Gael: Wonderful.
Keith: And just so you all know, Cerrano never shows his arms, so he’s wearing leather armor over a light grey long-sleeved tunic and shorts.
Lance: Oh, should we give physical descriptions? Gael is a five foot tall high elf with long blonde hair, tan skin and red face tattoos, and he wears a lavender tunic with arcane symbols around the hems.
Keith: Cerrano is human, and he looks kinda like Lance.
Lance: Hey, don’t steal my appearance for your character!
Keith: I’m sorry you just have a sailor vibe.
Lance(staring): ...
Pidge(as Jaws): Hi, I’m Jaws. I’m good at hitting things.
Pidge: Jaws is a dragonborn barbarian with silver scales, horns and a tail. She is wearing only black capris. Her lizard titties are out. Also, she’s a sailor.
Gael and Cerrano(AA voice): Hi Jaws.
Hunk(as Mint): Hi everyone, my name is Mint. I’m fairly ok at punching.
Hunk: Mint is an aasimar monk. He’s very shy. He has pale green skin, bright orange hair, and he wears a tattered brown robe and bandages around his hands and feet.
Cerrano: Hey, how’s it going, Mint?
Mint: Uh, OK I guess.
Shiro(as Zuke): Hi guys, I’m Zuke! I’m a half-elf paladin.
Pidge: What does he look like?
Shiro: Well, he’s wearing chain mail and dirty clothing, he has some scars, he looks prepubescent, his face is caked with dirt and maybe a bit of blood…
Lance: But what does he look like?
Pidge: What color are your eyes?
Shiro: Uh, brown…
Adam: Anyway, moving on.
Allura(as Reverence): Hello, everyone, my name is Reverence. My primary skill is to sit and look pretty.
Gael: Well, you are pretty good at that.
Allura: Reverence is a tiefling bard. She has pale skin, long blue-violet hair, gnarled horns and a tail, and she wears a purple ankle-length dress with a leather corset and a chartreuse cape. She plays the viol.
Pidge: Sounds practical.
Gael: The important thing is that you’re pretty.
Reverence(giggling): Well, thank you, Gael.
Lotor(as Laeros): My name is Laeros and–
Lance: Hey, who let him play??!
Allura: Lance, don’t be mean.
Lance: OK, but he’ll ruin our game…
Adam: Lance, settle down. Lotor, continue.
Laeros: I am searching for an aspect of Orcus, as I believe him to be awakening. Undead are rising with greater frequency than ever before, and these abominations must be stopped.
Pidge: That told us literally nothing about the character you’re playing.
Lotor: Laeros is a half-elf sorcerer, noble background. He has pale skin, flowing blonde hair, and wears a somewhat flashy purple-and-gold outfit.
Lance: Flowing hair. What a surprise.
Lotor: What can I say? Why would I not include my own most notable and positive trait in my character?
Pidge: Ooh, sick burn.
Hunk: Self-burn?
Pidge: Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?
Lance: You doing OK, buddy?
Lotor: I do not know to what you are referring. I simply meant that the best thing about me is my hair.
Lance: Yeah, we got that. Don’t you find that a little sad?
Lotor: Not really. Given the people by whom I was raised, it’s amazing I got the amount of personality I did. Like Reverence, my main skill is sitting and looking pretty. Fortunately, I am very good at that.
Adam: Guys, guys, settle down. Matt?
Matt(as Nibbs): Hi, I’m Nibbs. I am very stronk.
Matt: Nibbs is a half-orc barbarian and she is good at hitting things. She has green skin, black hair and black eyes, and she wears the brown clothing befitting an outlander.
Adam: Alright, now that you’ve all introduced yourselves, let’s plan the first session. Who can do this Sunday at 4?
Lance, Keith and Matt: I can!
Adam: Alright, let’s plan for you three then. Some ruins in the jungle were recently uncovered. Would you like to do that adventure?
Keith: Yeah, sure.