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Steve, as a rule, really enjoyed Avengers movie nights. They never quite managed to make them a regular event, but on a somewhat frequent, if erratic basis, all the Avengers would pile into one of Tony’s common rooms and watch the same film at the same time. It was, typically, a comfortable, relaxing activity.
This particular movie night was going very badly.
They had been watching some silly comedy that Clint had picked and the quality of the film could be more or less summed up in that forty-five minutes after the opening credits Steve couldn’t remember what it was called. They’d been sitting through an oddly uncomfortable looking sex scene and Tony, in what might have been a poorly-thought-out attempt to alleviate the second-hand embarrassment turned to Natasha and asked “So, does that guy have better taste than the Ambassador last week, or would this be an improvement.” His face said he was looking for Natasha to bite his head off.
Instead she stared at him, with her forehead creased and her head tilted to one side, and asked “How on Earth would I know?”
Tony had the good grace to look at least slightly taken aback. “I’m sorry. You left for a party in that very tight, sexy, black dress and next day we have to go storm the Ambassador’s mansion, so I just assumed, but clearly I have underestimated your ability to kick ass in a sexy dress for which you have my sincerest apologies.”
Natasha kept right on frowning. “No. I seduced him. I just don’t understand what you are asking me.”
Tony grinned even more and his eyebrows rose, which was never a good sign, with him. “Was it any good?”
“It worked didn’t it?” Natasha asked. She hadn’t untilted her head.
Now it was Tony’s turn to tilt-and-frown. “I was talking about the sex. Actually you know what, this has ceased to be funny, I’m going to stop.”
“It was sex.” Said Natasha with complete finality.
In the background, Bruce was repeatedly wiping his glasses and tugging at his shirt sleeves, Thor was leaning forward and starting to frown as well. Even Clint, who normally saw team arguments as a source of free entertainment was grimacing.
“I am certain that the Man of Iron was merely making jest. Surely he would wish that your seductions be nothing but pleasurable for you.” Thor interjected.
Bruce squirmed even more and Clint joined him.
Natasha sat up very straight and said with extreme dignity. “Its my job, I do it, it works, this discussion has finished. Barton, you have a terrible taste in films.”
Tony goggled at her. “You mean you don’t even…”
Natasha shot him a look a look. “Is that a problem?”
“Oh,” said Tony, said, his jaw went slack, as some bit of information Steve had missed hit him in the face “Oh! My mistake, foot, mouth, apologies and all that.”
“Thank you.” Natasha said graciously, and settled back to watch the movie.
Common sense dictated that when The Black Widow told you to drop it and leave alone, you did that. But Steve had always been longer on team loyalty than common sense, and he could tell when he was missing half a conversation. “Natasha,” he asked pointedly, “is everything okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Natasha asked, pressing her lips together.
“I, er,” Steve mumbled for a second “you just made it sound like you were, well, not doing what you wanted.”
Natasha’s eyebrows shot up. “I wanted information from the French Ambassador, and I got exactly what I wanted. I just don’t consider getting it to have come with extra perks. Is that a problem, Captain?”
Thor, who had been frowning in concert with Steve nodded to himself and leaned back, apparently satisfied with the explanation, but Steve wasn’t. “I just don’t think that you should have to do any, you know, things, that you don’t want to do.”
“I didn’t,” said Natasha.
“Well it’s just that you said you weren’t, you know, having a – having a nice time. And just because you’re a pretty dame – woman – doesn’t mean you should have to get pressured into things –“
Over the course of Steve’s explanation Natasha had gone from looking vaguely nonplussed to exceedingly displeased, and then cut Steve off by standing up abruptly. “Cap, can I have a word in private,” she hissed.
Steve followed her out into the kitchen and they spent a minute looking awkward at each other.
“I, ah, hum –“ Steve started. It wasn’t the sort of situation he had ever done well in and he wasn’t sure if Natasha needed an apology, comfort, or something else entirely.
“Steve I think you have the wrong idea about things.” Natasha eventually said. “And you know, I get it. You woke up somewhere new and you had to learn new things. And you’ve been really good about it.” Steve gritted his teeth and sighed. People had been complimenting him on his ability to adapt and be ‘good about it’ since he woke up in a SHIELD base in New York. When it came to new technology and seventy years of missed pop culture and slang he appreciated it. With sex and its supposed moral headaches, it was just uncomfortable. In part because it wasn’t something he was brought up to be able to talk about, but in part because that had left him without the vocabulary, or maybe just the confidence, he’d need to explain that he wasn’t adapting. That he had never had trouble letting people make their own choices and treating them nicely, and that it had actually a relief to have a large and growing portion of society agree with him.
“No, that’s all fine.” he eventually managed to mumble. “I mean, everyone doing what they want to do.”
Natasha spared him a frustrated little smile. “Not everyone does, you know.”
“Does what?” Steve asked.
“Want it.” Natasha prompted.
Steve looked at Natasha and frowned very pointedly. “But you just said-“
Natasha cut him off again before he could get any further – “I said I wanted information. I got information.”
Steve kept right on frowning and wished Natasha would be clearer. This was something like the fifth want/don’t want and he was fairly sure he wasn’t keeping them straight any more. Natasha must have noticed because she rolled her eyes good-naturedly, “You’re actually going to make me do the whole coming out speech aren’t you?”
“Sorry,” Steve mumbled and blushed, which was so embarrassing it made him blush harder.
Natasha bit back a laugh. “No, its okay. Its just, you know, some people have sex because they want to, and some people think it’s a boring waste of time and have sex to steal secrets from corrupt ambassadors. Its alright. I’m very accepting of people who want to have sex even though it is a complete waste of time.” She was nearly grinning when she said that, keeping her mouth shut but crinkling her eyes. So Steve knew she wasn’t actually annoyed at him. “That’s it I’m done, you have any other burning asexuality questions you can ask JARVIS, Google or Clint in that order.” Natasha said, rather finally.
Steve nodded and got up to go talk to JARVIS. “But Cap,” Natasha called after him, “I appreciate the thought.”
“Well I’ve got to look out for my team,” said Steve, “I’m Captain America.”
Natasha laughed.