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“You just have to—work, damnit—”
Sakura yelps as the paper slides under her feet.
Everything goes black, for a moment, and then she is standing on a battlefield.
It is the same as where she was before, except there is a lot more death and a lot more living people.
The moment she looks up, a woman stabs a man right through the heart.
Her heart skips a beat, and she thinks she has hearts in her eyes.
“And that—that is what you get for killing my people, Uchiha,” she gasps, stumbling backward into Sakura. Sakura immediately goes to steady the woman.
And receives a . . . naginata? in front of her face for it.
Sakura blinks, smiles, and asks, “You good?”
The woman frowns. “What? Who the fuck are you? You're not an Uchiha, and you're definitely not a Senju.” She looks like she knows she's stating the obvious, but she doesn't seem to care.
Sakura hums. “Well, I'm from the future. I didn't quite expect to land in the middle of your battle—sorry about that, a few minutes later and I'd have missed you, huh? Name's Haruno Sakura.”
“Haruno, huh?” the woman looks at her, glances at her arms and the blood that covers her body, stares at the mud caking her dress. She looks back up and she grins. “I'm Senju Touka, and you have just landed in the middle of the Senju-Uchiha war. What's up?”
Sakura feels her own smile widen. “That's what I meant to do.”
[ — ]
“What the fuck, Touka? You can't just bring in another stray and expect it to end well—”
“Fuck off, bastard. Tobi and Hashi won't mind,” Touka interrupts the elderly man, winking at Sakura. “Besides, she's no stray. She's exactly where she meant to be, right Sakura-chan?” she asks chirpily.
Sakura nods. “Of course. I have to stop the shinobi wars, after all. Or at least the fourth one. If we stop Senju Tobirama from killing Uchiha Izuna, Uchiha Madara won't go fucking crazy and murder everyone with the help of some aloe vera guy.”
“The fuck’s gone off in the future? Goddamn.” Touka shakes her head. “Anyway, let's go see the boys.”
Sakura nods.
“So, any o’ the Senju famous in the future?” Touka asks.
Sakura scoffs. “Well you guys are only the co-founders of the first Shinobi village ever,” she says. “Hashirama and Tobirama were both village leaders. And Hashirama's granddaughter was the fifth leader.” She very carefully avoids saying the word hokage.
Touka blinks. “Oh, wow. That's cool. Am I famous too or nah?”
“Touka . . . hmm, I think I read a book that mentioned you, but nobody ever talks about kunoichi other than Hashirama's granddaughter. Which fucking sucks, y'know how it feels to literally be one of the three strongest shinobi in the world and have everyone pass over your name to talk about the boys? I have literally brought them both back to life. Fucking idiots.”
Touka snorts. “Makes sense. People don't like to think their mothers might've killed a few hundred men,” she says casually.
“True.” Sakura nods.
They walk together in silence for another minute, and then a door slams open down the hall.
“Touka, tell me you didn't—goddamnit, Touka.” An albino man—the second hokage, it's obvious—sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. “Stop bringing in so many random people. The last two literally died—”
“Oh, hush, Tobi, it's not like I had no reason to. She's fuckin’ cool. From the future ’n’ shit. Sup, Hashi.”
“Hello, Touka,” the long-haired man greets. He must be the shodaime. “What's this you say? A woman from the future?”
“From, like, a hundred something years in the future, where the fourth shinobi world war has only come to an end because everyone else is dead,” Sakura explains.
Tobirama blinks. “Thanks for the information. Why did you come back a hundred something years?”
“Because you're part of the reason the fourth shinobi war ever happened,” she answers. “Do me a favor and don't kill Uchiha Izuna, yeah? We don't want Hashirama dying and Madara to kill the entire world, do we?”
Silence.
“What?”
[ — ]
“How many times,” Tobirama says. It's not a question, and it needs no answer.
Sakura answers anyway, “Four times. The first time, I landed in Madara and Hashirama's battle. Second, I think I landed in Tobirama and Izuna's battle, third time was just a few minutes after Touka’s. She was already gone, and I about got ambushed by some old guys. All three of those times I fucked up at some point. Hoping that, uh, fourth time’s the charm?”
“That—goddamn, Sakura. Have you met me in any of 'em?” Touka asks.
“Mm.” Sakura coughs. “Yeah, we uh—got pretty close, y'know. Anyway, um, Tobirama. Don't you fucking kill Izuna, got it? I know you don't actually hate the Uchiha. A lot of people in my time thought you did, but after getting to know you, I get it. But don't kill Izuna. Hashirama!” Hashirama instinctively sits up straight.
Sakura narrows her eyes. “Don't fucking hide that you're planning on having peace talks after a battle! That's the entire reason Izuna and Tobirama didn't know not to kill each other! Stupid! I'd hit you if I didn't respect you!” She turns to Tobirama, grabs his hand, and says, “Tobi, sweetheart, I'm so sorry you have to deal with your brother's bullshit. Grow up and marry Madara, honey.”
“Excuse me?”
[ — ]
“If you kill each other, I'll go back in time again and pummel you both into the ground!” Sakura growls at Izuna and Tobirama when the Senju and Uchiha meet for peace talks.
They put a pause on the fighting to try to make peace purely because she told everything to Tobirama and Hashirama. She's so proud.
Of herself, that is. They're all idiots.
Except for Touka, of course.
Her lovely girlfriend.