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Liede was surprisingly cold for this time of day and the sun had begun setting, painting the skies orange and purple. Ignis blinked to push back the film of exhaustion that tried to cover his eyes and focused intently on the road, hoping that the concentration would stave off his fatigue.
The entire car was nearly silent but nobody was asleep yet, not even Noctis. Prompto merely stared blearily at his lap in the passenger seat, not even the knowledge that they were heading to Hammerhead – and thus Cindy – had managed to bring more than a tired smile to the gunner’s face.
Ignis glanced back in the rear-view mirror at the other two. Noctis looked drained and as if he would collapse right then and there but he was busying himself with tying off the bandage he had wrapped around Gladiolus’ bicep. The Shield murmured something quietly to the prince, who merely smiled wearily, and tossed the remainder of the gauze into the medical kit and closed it.
They may have all been exhausted but the Niflheim Empire had lost its blockade between Leide and Duscae. And Noctis had succeeded in claiming two Royal Arms.
The Prairie Outpost was, in all honesty, closer than Hammerhead but they had agreed that they had not wanted to stay so close to the newly fallen blockade when Niflheim would no doubt send soldiers to try and catch them. Cor, before the Marshal left them, had also encouraged them to take some time to rest before heading into Duscae.
So, Hammerhead it was.
There was a soft sigh of relief from Gladiolus in the back as the sign of Hammerhead appeared just in the distance and moments later they were pulling into the garage.
“Howdy, fellas!” Cindy greeted, cheerfully, before her expression became concerned. “Ya’ll are lookin’ real peaky. Ya’ll doin’ okay?”
“Yes, thank you Cindy. We’re just tired,” Ignis said, eyeing Noctis in concern as the prince stumbled towards the caravan with little more than a half-hearted wave to acknowledge Cindy’s presence. Gladiolus followed and while Prompto tried to conjure his enthusiasm at the sight of his favourite mechanic, even he had no choice but to deflate and trail after the other two.
“Well. I hope ya’ll get some rest. Let me know if’n ya’ll need anythin’.” Cindy smiled. “When ya’ll are feelin’ better, come an’ see me. There’s somethin’ I’d like to ask ya.”
“Of course.” Ignis tilted his head politely and left her. Noctis and Prompto had already shed most of their clothes and collapsed into the bunk beds they had chosen and where now asleep. Gladiolus was still awake, barely, and relaxed as soon as Ignis came into the caravan.
Ignis gently tucked Prompto’s arm – it was hanging off the side of the top bunk – back under the covers and checked over Noctis, who grunted at him from the lower bunk when he was moved.
“So Duscae tomorrow?” Gladiolus asked and yawned.
“Cindy has asked us to see her when we wake,” Ignis said, checking the Shield’s injuries despite his attempts to wave him off. Satisfied the Shield wasn’t about to bleed out or something equally detrimental, he undressed and climbed into the bunk above the older man. “We’ll see what she wants and then head for the Alstor Slough, I suppose.”
Gladiolus grunted in affirmation and then the caravan was silent besides soft breathing and gentle, breathy snores.
0-o-0-o-0
Ignis woke a good hour before he was usually awake, the sky outside only faintly touched with dim orangish light in the east. He laid there for a moment and listened to the sounds of the others sleeping before finally pushing himself up and down the ladder. Gladiolus stirred and opened his eyes before closing them again, reassured that the movement he had felt in the caravan was simply Ignis.
Ignis found an Ebony and sipped at it as he considered their supplies for the morning’s meal. Gladiolus managed to rouse himself fully about twenty minutes later and woke Prompto. They slipped out of the caravan and came back about the time that Ignis had finished dishing the food onto the plates, both sweating and breathing heavily from their run around Hammerhead.
“That smells good,” Gladiolus said appreciatively. “Sleeping beauty still out of it?”
Ignis nodded. “Think you can get him up?”
“I’ll try,” The Shield said, grinning. A disgruntled shout and curse from inside the caravan told Ignis that he had been successful and moments later an amused Gladiolus and grumpy Noctis took their places at the table.
After eating and cleaning up the caravan, they all moved over to where Cindy was leaning against the bonnet of an old car, studying two pieces of metal with a serious frown. Apparently, they were supposed to fit together because she held them against each other but then she looked up at them and set the two pieces down.
“Mornin’ boys. Ya’ll are lookin’ better.”
“Morning, Cindy,” Prompto chirped, a slight bounce to his step.
“We’re doing much better, thank you.” Ignis smiled.
“Ignis said you wanted to ask us something?” Noctis said. Cindy wiped her hands off on a grease stained rag before placing them on her belt.
“I did. Ya see, a hunter fella – and one of our regulars – was huntin’ out west of the Weaverwilds when he came across an old tunnel. Don’t know what the tunnel was for but it ain’t been used in a cactuar’s age. He said there was a lot of stuff left over from before the Wall and mentioned a special can of car wax. But the fella just didn’t have the foresight to grab it.”
“And you want us to go get it?” Gladiolus asked.
“Well,” Cindy drawled and crossed her ankles, looking down at the ground. “Truth be told, I was kinda hopin’ ya would. I was goin’ to go an’ get it myself but this here flivver,” And she indicated the automobile she had been working on, “is goin’ to darn well take all day. I had hoped ya’ll let me use it on the old girl. Purdy little lady like that needs the best make-up, ya know.”
Ignis opened his mouth to remind Noctis that the drive to Lestallum would take hours and they really needed to be there before night fell but the pleading, excitable look that Prompto turned on the prince made him close his mouth and say nothing. Noctis looked at all of them for a moment and lingered on Ignis, sensing his hesitation, but when no protest came forth he turned back to Cindy.
“Since it’s for the Regalia, we can do the leg work,” Noctis said and there was a sound from Prompto that sounded like a hastily cut off cheer.
“Ya’ll will?” Cindy smiled. “Well, that’s mighty big of ya’ll. Just let me see your map there and I’ll point out where the hunter said the tunnel was.”
Noctis produced the map and Cindy pointed out the location a little northwest of the Three Valleys. She followed them to the Regalia.
“Now ya’ll don’t tell Paw Paw ‘bout this but ya’ll looked plumb tuckered out last night and I felt a mite sorry for ya. So, I fuelled up the old girl for ya boys. On the house.”
“Thanks Cindy.” Prompto smiled brightly at her, climbing into the passenger seat. She merely nodded her head.
“Ya’ll bring me back that wax and I’ll get this here girl all gussied up.” Cindy patted the Regalia’s rear wheel well and then stepped back as Ignis started the engine. “Ya’ll be careful now.”
“We’ll do our best,” Ignis said. Prompto waved at Cindy as they pulled out of Hammerhead and ignored Noctis’ teasing about his crush.
0-o-0-o-0
It didn’t take long before Ignis pulled the Regalia over onto the roadside, just pass the dirt road that cut by the Three Valleys to Longwythe.
“This is as far as we can go with the car,” he said, already opening the door.
“It should just be around this plateau,” Noctis said, looking up from the map he was studying. Prompto leaned on his shoulder to look as well.
“Looks about right,” he agreed.
“Well standing around here isn’t going to get the wax. Come on.” Gladiolus indicated for them to follow him and the Shield moved up the path they were certain led to the tunnel. Gladiolus came to a stop at the entrance to the area, chain-link fence and warning signs an attempt to warn people away.
“Keep your distance or die,” he read. “Vicious varmints and dangerous daemons.”
“Oh great,” Noctis drawled. “And we thought this would be easy.”
“Well we’re here and we might as well see what this place has in store for us,” Gladiolus sighed.
“Keep on your toes,” Ignis reminded. A short walk revealed the opening of the tunnel in the cliff face and they paused at the edge of the heavy shadow that extended from the tunnel. They looked at each other, hesitantly, for a moment and then Gladiolus heaved a heavy sigh and walked into the semi-gloom.
Prompto stuck close to him and Ignis kept near Noctis as they moved cautiously through the darkness, their torches only lighting the area directly in front of them. A high pitched, screeching laugh came from somewhere in the tunnel and the sound of metal clattering against the ground made all of them jump.
“Sounds like Goblins,” Gladiolus murmured quietly.
“Oh, I just love dark tunnels and jump scares,” Prompto groaned, sarcastically. Another screeching laugh and something darted across their path, just outside the halo of their torches. Without a word, they all summoned their weapons.
The flashing lights of the magic pushed the darkness outside the halo of their torches back just a little further, revealing the jittering forms of several Goblins that had surrounded them. The daemons apparently took offence to the weapons – or the magic used to summon them – and attacked, slashing with their twisted claws.
Many of them were the variety they were used to, small humanoid-like creatures with reddish caps, but there were two that were unfamiliar. These were a little bigger with darker purple caps and strange purplish vials that they shook constantly.
Noctis warped, impaling one of the regular Goblins straight through its thin chest, and let the sword vanish before he conjured a set of daggers and spun low, hitting another of the shrieking creatures. Prompto pulled out his auto crossbow and set off an explosion that took out two of the regular Goblins.
One of the unusual Goblins leapt shrieking at Gladiolus as he spilt one of the regular ones nearly in two with a downward swing. The Goblin looked like it was going to upend the contents of its vial on the Shield but Gladiolus was having none of that, swinging his sword up and around. The flat of his blade hit the Goblin and it spun in the air before it struck the wall hard and slid to the ground, vanishing into black ichor.
Ignis threw his daggers, one after the other, with devastating accuracy at one of the regular Goblins and summoned his lance to pierce the back of one’s neck as it tried to claw at his legs. The second of the unusual Goblins came running at him and leapt into the air. Ignis was caught off guard as the creature jumped higher than he had expected it to – right over his lance – and he flinched as the liquid in the vial drenched his head, small drops splattering on his glasses.
He raised a hand up to wipe it from his eyes but was surprised to find that the liquid dried almost instantly, absorbing into his skin. That was probably not a good thing but he had no time to concentrate on it.
He stabbed up with his lance, catching the fell creature in the torso. It twitched on the end of his lance like an impaled insect and screeched with its pain. Ignis slammed the Goblin down hard against the ground once, twice, thrice before it stopped moving and shrieking at him.
“The prince of pain!” Gladiolus called cheerfully from somewhere behind him.
“Yup.” Came Noctis’ rejoinder.
Ignis spun around and found that the movement didn’t sit well with him at all. The world tilted to the side and he blinked several times, shaking his head, as his vision seemed to double and overlap itself. Ignis wavered slightly and stumbled back a step. Was he poisoned or hit with confusion perhaps? Something came flying at his face and some voice in the back of his head told him that he should defend himself but his body felt sluggish and heavy.
“Iggy!” Something rammed into him and he couldn’t catch his balance, falling back onto the ground with a thud.
He could only lay there and giggle.
“Iggy! Ignis, are you alright?” A face came into his view but it so blurry he couldn’t make out who it was, except the lack of blond hair told him that it wasn’t Prompto.
“Why are there three of you?” He said and his voice broke halfway in the last word as another giggle bubbled from inside his throat.
“It’s just me Ignis,” Gladiolus said, frowning as he helped the younger man into a sitting position. Ignis swayed and flopped against the Shield’s chest and giggled again before bringing his arms up to curl them around Gladiolus’ shoulders.
Everything was just so funny.
“Where’s the floor?” The advisor asked, his voice distant and airy. Gladiolus gently grabbed the man’s chin, tilting his head up so he could get a good look at him and he was disturbed by the fact that Ignis’ pupils were two different sizes.
“Is he okay?” Noctis asked breathlessly, dropping to his knees by them both. Prompto was right behind him; apparently, they had slain the last three or four Goblins they had been fighting.
“I don’t know.” Gladiolus shook his head. “He’s seeing double and isn’t entirely all there.”
“I’m fine,” Ignis giggled but he simply slumped against Gladiolus and didn’t seem at all inclined to pull his face away from the older man’s shoulder.
“Sure, you are,” Gladiolus said.
“I saw that Goblin dump that vial on his head,” Noctis said. “Maybe whatever this is, is connected to that.”
“More than likely. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was drunk. All the symptoms point to it,” the bigger man replied. Ignis giggled again and pushed himself further into Gladiolus, clinging to him.
“You’re warm,” he murmured. Gladiolus heaved a sigh and gave them a look that said: ‘I told you so’. Noctis looked disturbed and Prompto opened his mouth multiple times.
“I found the wax?” Prompto said and it sounded like a question. He was holding the red can in his hands delicately.
“Good,” Gladiolus replied. “Let’s leave. Ignis, can you walk?”
“…Of course.” But he didn’t make any attempts to move.
“Yeah.” The Shield clicked his tongue. “Princess, Blondie help me get him on my back.”
Prompto and Noctis held Ignis up between them, unsure what to make of the man’s seemingly overwhelming affection – he was trying to cuddle Noctis – and the giggling, as Gladiolus crouched down before them. Ignis slumped against the Shield’s back and Noctis draped the advisor’s arms over Gladiolus’ shoulders while the bigger man looped his arms under his knees.
“You smell nice,” Ignis murmured, nuzzling into the Shield’s neck. Gladiolus huffed, pausing as Prompto slipped the glasses from Ignis’ face and stashed them in a pocket.
“Glad to know you like my cologne,” he said drily. “Let’s get out of here already. He’s really starting to worry me.”
Noctis seemed to agree and began leading them back the way they came. Prompto considered Ignis for a few moments as the older man nuzzled against Gladiolus and let the odd giggle escape.
Ignis was apparently a giggly, cuddly drunk.
Who knew.
0-o-0-o-0
They breathed sighs of relief as they stepped out into daylight. Ignis had fallen into a quiet stupor with only the occasional giggle leaving his lips and he had stopped responding to them verbally which worried all of them to no end.
“Should we go back to Hammerhead?” Noctis asked, as they moved down the path to the Regalia. “Prairie Outpost might be closer, though.”
Gladiolus winced, hitching Ignis up higher on his back. “Iggy might not be happy with the idea of people he knows seeing him like this. You know how he is and I’d whether not end up with a dagger in my throat one morning, thanks.”
“So, a haven?”
“We can go to the hotel in Longwythe,” Prompto suggested. “Pull the car up right in front of the door and get him into the room quickly. We can try to wash whatever that stuff was off and it has a bath. Unless one of us wants to take a shower with him in that tiny caravan bathroom.”
“Good point,” Gladiolus sighed. “Except how do we pay for a hotel room? We’re still short of funds and, if this is a status ailment, we’re going to need what we have to pay for a remedy. Not to mention lunch and supper.”
Noctis and Prompto were silent as they reached the car considering Gladiolus’ argument. No one spoke for a few moments as they carefully manoeuvred Ignis into the back seat, the advisor immediately falling over to curl on the seat.
“We could sell these,” Prompto suggested, digging in his pocket and coming up with three of those old coins that Ignis had told them was the Lucian currency from before the Wall was constructed and a glittering star shaped seashell.
“Oh, but Prom,” Noctis said, “you wanted to keep those as souvenirs.”
“Yeah but there’ll be others.” Prompto smiled and deposited them into Noctis’ hand. “Iggy’s more important.”
Noctis could have hugged him but he simply squeezed his shoulder in thanks before pocketing the tokens and sliding behind the wheel. Gladiolus shifted Ignis around in the back until he could take his seat and Ignis immediately wrapped his arms around the Shield’s waist, burying his face into the older man’s stomach.
Gladiolus sighed, his face adopting a long-suffering expression as he patted Ignis’ shoulder awkwardly but didn’t try to peel the younger man away from him.
The car ride was mostly silent as Noctis took the dirt road down to Longwythe and pulled into the motel car park an hour later. Gladiolus didn’t try to move as Ignis was firmly attached to him, studying one of the buttons on Gladiolus’ jacket but obviously unable to make heads or tails of it.
This would be very amusing if it wasn’t so worrying, he decided.
Getting Ignis into the hotel room without attracting attention was a fun adventure they hoped would not be repeated anytime soon. Ignis tried to help by walking himself – or at least that’s what they thought he was trying to do – but the world was apparently still tipsy for him and he kept leaning heavily to the right. Gladiolus had to stop multiple times to readjust his hold and groan loudly that Ignis should ‘just stay still, damn-it’.
But they succeeded and Gladiolus wanted nothing more than to deposit him onto one of the beds and be done with all of this. Instead he held him up in the middle of the room, his arms around Ignis’ chest in front of him.
“Get a bath going, Blondie,” hhe Shield ordered. “Noct, help me strip him.”
Prompto scurried into the bathroom and Noctis blinked owlishly, a light pink tint to his cheeks.
“Lukewarm, Prompto!” Gladiolus called, receiving a confirmation seconds later and the sound of running water. The Shield looked down at Noctis who looked like he as sizing Ignis up, unsure how to proceed.
“Oh, for…” Gladiolus hitched Ignis up a little, the man having slid down in his arms as his legs gave up trying to bare his weight. “Don’t be a prude, Noct. Just get him undressed already. If you’re going to be this gun shy about undressing someone then the throne’s never going to have an heir.”
Noctis turned red, the blush extending all the way to the tips of his ears and down the back of his neck. “Gladio!”
Ignis burst into a fresh wave of giggles and snorts.
Noctis’ blush stayed firmly on his face but he obligingly began to pull Ignis’ shoes off, tumbling backwards onto his arse in the process. He hesitated before undoing the advisor’s belt and tugging his trousers down. Prompto came back about then and helped finish undressing him before Gladiolus half-carried, half-drug the younger man into the bathroom.
It took a little longer than they would have liked to bathe Ignis and to get him dressed in his sleepwear. Mainly because his enforced drunkenness made it impossible for him to sit or stand up straight and because he kept feebly fighting them.
And then he started singing.
Ignis had a surprisingly wonderful singing voice, when it wasn’t slurred or off pitch. He was singing a pub song…a Galahdian pub song…and it had some bawdy verses to it that had even Gladiolus embarrassed. He was sure that Ignis would kill them all once he sobered up and remembered all of this.
That he even knew a pub song – apparently by memory – was probably the most shocking thing. The other three weren’t exactly sure how to even process this information.
Gladiolus finally deposited him onto one of the beds and groaned, standing up to stretch his back.
“Well the bath didn’t seem to do anything,” he said, rolling his head. “I guess we’ll have to get a remedy after all.”
“It was a good idea, even if I’m so tired I just want to collapse,” Noctis said.
“You can stay here and keep an eye on him then.” Gladiolus waved his hand at the advisor. “Prompto, let’s go see if that vendor has a remedy and pick up something for lunch.”
“Sure.” Prompto bit his lip as Noctis gave him the items he had offered to sell. “Let us know if anything changes?”
“Will do.” They left and Noctis hovered over Ignis for a moment, unsure. Eventually he just decided that he might as well get a nap out of this and settled on the bed beside the advisor, who immediately latched onto him. Noctis huffed a sigh but didn’t complain reaching up to run his fingers through Ignis’ hair.
It reminded him very strongly of when they were kids and would fall asleep curled up together after several hours of play, usually with Gladiolus reading a faerie story out loud to them.
0-o-0-o-0
“None!” Noctis jerked from his doze at the shout as Prompto and Gladiolus came into the room, Ignis twitched in his arms but didn’t wake. “Not a single remedy!”
“Wha…?” the Prince murmured, shifting Ignis so he could sit up.
“Oh, sorry dude. Didn’t realize you were asleep,” Prompto apologized. Noctis waved him off and yawned.
“What were you yelling about?”
“The shop didn’t have any remedies,” Gladiolus explained, setting two bags on the little table near the window. “Or smelling salts. Apparently, there’s a group of cactuar running around and the people around here have bought out the shop.”
“Oh lovely,” Noctis sighed. “So, we can’t do anything for Specs.”
“Didn’t say that.” Gladiolus pulled something out of one of the bags and tossed it to Noctis. Noctis raised his eyebrow.
“Instant miso soup?”
“Packed full of protein,” the Shield explained, also pulling out several bottles of water. “It helps with hangovers. And even if this doesn’t cause a hangover, the extra protein certainly won’t hurt him.”
“We also picked up some painkillers and I found Iggy’s sunglasses in the Regalia, just in case,” Prompto piped up, handing Noctis a food container from the Crow’s Nest.
While the younger two ate, Gladiolus took it upon himself to mix up a bowl of the miso soup and rouse Ignis long enough to get both the soup and a bottle of water into him. Ignis still swayed and his vision was still wobbly – he missed grabbing the bottle completely – but he seemed to be sobering up at least.
Well, he stopped giggling at everything. Gladiolus considered that a win.
The Shield hoped that this would completely go away by that evening or the morning at the latest. Most status ailments – from what he could remember from his lessons – faded after a few hours and had very few lingering effects. Brief memory lost with confusion, wobbliness in the limbs from toad, and nausea from poison to name just a few.
He didn’t think he’d ever come across a drunk one in any of his lessons but he had never been that great of a study, preferring to read novels behind his text books instead. That was more Ignis’ thing.
Gladiolus flopped into the chair Noctis vacated and pulled out his phone, pulling up the internet application so he could research the status ailment. Noctis went to resume his nap, curling up on the bed with Ignis, and Prompto fidgeted with his camera for a while before deciding he too should take a nap and passed out on the other bed.
0-o-0-o-0
“Aw man! No, my mages!” The cry was loud and sent throbbing pain straight into his head. Ignis jerked and moaned, unable to stop the soft sob from leaving his mouth.
“Iggy?” A voice asked and even though it was intentionally quiet it still sent him reeling with pain. The pillow he was hiding beneath shifted slightly and a beam of light lanced into his dark shelter. He whimpered and curled further into himself, his hold on the pillow tightening.
“…awake. I didn’t mean to.” A voice penetrated his pained haze and it didn’t sound nearby but it very nearly brought another sob from him.
“Don’t worry about it, just keep your voice down.” Came a soft murmur. “And turn off the lights.”
There was shuffling for a few moments and then a hand curled around the nape of his neck, petting gently. His tongue felt swollen and like sandpaper in his mouth and he could tell that his hands were shaking as they weakly gripped the pillow.
“Come on, Specs.” The soft voice was back. “We have some water and painkillers for you.”
And the pillow shifted again. He braced himself for the pain but the lights had been turned off and there was only a faint white glow from nearby, just enough light for them to see. Even that was painful but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
They didn’t try to move him, for which Ignis was very thankful. If they had tried, he was sure that his stomach would have rebelled violently and just the small attempt to open his eyes had sent the room spinning around him. But he was thirsty and the idea of painkillers was too great a temptation to turn down.
“That’s it. Nice and slow,” another voice said, this one a deep baritone, and large hands gently pressed against him to brace him as he moved. And he set up very slowly but did not dare open his eyes. Something poked at his lips.
“It’s a straw. Sip slowly,” the soft voice said, finally piercing through the fog in his head to tell him that it was Noctis and that the large hands rubbing his back gently belonged to Gladiolus. That must have meant that the loud voice had been Prompto.
“Wha…happ’n…?” Ignis barely managed to rasp out. He took a slow sip as he was instructed and bit back a groan at the cool, refreshing taste of water, the throbbing in his head telling him that not making the noise was good.
“You were hit with a status ailment called intoxication,” Gladiolus murmured. “It’s rare. Hasn’t been seen in nearly thirty years so there aren’t any cures for it anymore, except remedies. Sorry, you just had to ride this one out.”
“We’re in the motel at Longwythe,” Noctis whispered, taking the blister pack of painkillers from the now silent Prompto. “We thought you would prefer as few people as possible seeing you…well, drunk.”
“Can you open your eyes?” Gladiolus asked and Ignis could hear the concern in his voice so he made the effort to answer.
“Can,” he whispered. “Won’t.” Something was placed into his hand lying half-curled on the bed beside him.
“Painkillers. Do you think you could manage a little miso soup?” Noctis asked and Ignis fairly turned green at the suggestion. “Alright, you don’t have to have any. Drink a little more water, please, and you can lay back down and get some more rest.”
“Time?” Ignis asked. One word questions and responses seemed to be all the advisor was managing at the moment. Prompto looked at his phone, closing out the game's app, to check the time.
“Nine seventeen,” he answered, this time keeping his voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve been out of it since about noon.”
Ignis made a noise that they couldn’t translate but they supposed he had understood. He managed a few more sips and then shied away from the straw, his stomach twisting slightly at the presence of the water. Gladiolus’ hands were bracing him again and he was very gently shifted back into the pillows.
“Get some more rest, okay. You’ll feel better when you wake up again,” the Shield murmured, pulling the blankets back up around Ignis’ shoulders. Ignis sighed softly and allowed himself to drift into the comforting darkness of sleep where he didn’t feel so desperately ill and his head didn’t throb as badly.
0-o-0-o-0
It must have been morning when he woke again. The bright light coming from behind the closed curtains didn’t stab at his brain so viciously as the light from last night had but it still hurt. Ignis felt tired, thirsty, dizzy and just all around bad.
He set up slowly and then just set there, shoulders slumped and hands in his lap. There was movement in the lavatory but the room was blessedly quiet and cool. He lost track of time and didn’t know how long he set there in that position with his eyes closed, almost falling back asleep sitting up, when a soft voice called to him.
“Look who’s up. How are you feeling?” Noctis settled on the edge of the bed near him. Ignis roused himself to open his eyes, squinting at the prince.
“Where are we?” He asked instead, accepting the pills Noctis dropped in his hand. “I don’t remember…how we got here…”
“We’re in Longwythe and you were hit with a status ailment.” Noctis unscrewed the cap on a bottle of water and Ignis thankfully took several long draughts. It wasn’t cold but Ignis was glad of that because cold water probably would have made his stomach seize. When he lowered the bottle, the prince was holding out a pair of sunglasses and Ignis silently took them, sliding them on his face and sighing with relief.
“Status ailment?” Ignis asked and jolted with his recollection. “The Goblins…are you three alright? Where’s Gladio and Prompto?”
“We’re fine. A few scratches but nothing needing more than a plaster or two,” Noctis reassured. “Also, Gladio and Prom are…”
At that moment, the door opened and the two aforementioned members of their group came in carrying what smelled like breakfast, Noctis tilted his head towards them as if to say ‘there.’ Ignis was afraid for a moment that the smell would make him sick, a vague memory telling him that it was a risk, but he was relieved that it simply made him feel hungry.
“Oh look, Iggy’s awake,” Prompto said, his voice quieter than normal for which Ignis was very thankful for.
“Good,” Gladiolus said. “How you doing, Specs?”
“Honestly?” Ignis sighed. “I feel like Garula dung.”
Prompto and Noctis stared at him in shock before the blond began snorting, trying not to laugh. Noctis had no such qualms and began sniggering outright. Ignis gave them a bland look which would have been more effective without the sunglasses.
“Huh,” Gladiolus said and busied himself with the food containers. After a moment, Ignis hesitantly slid out of the bed and moved over to the table, staggering only a little with his initial steps. “You remember anything from yesterday?”
“No. I don’t really remember anything after going into that tunnel and getting into a fight with Goblins. But Noctis said something about a status ailment?”
“Intoxication.” Gladiolus grinned. Ignis stared at him and suddenly felt very uncomfortable under his grin, blinking behind his sunglasses before the word made sense in his brain and he flushed with embarrassment.
“I…I apologize if my behaviour was…unseemly.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” Noctis said, also beginning to smile at the memory. “You giggled a lot and wanted to cuddle with everybody.”
Ignis promptly paled.
“And!” Prompto exclaimed. “We discovered that you have a great singing voice.”
“Where on Eos did you learn a Galahdan pub song?” Gladiolus wondered. “Really, Specs. I had no idea that you could sing something so…lewd.”
“I did no such thing.” Ignis’ voice was nearly an octave higher than normal.
“Oh, you did,” Prompto said helpfully and pulled out his phone. “I have the recording.”
Ignis made a very strange noise. “Prompto.”
The blond looked up at the frightening tone, blanching as Ignis’ fork stabbed viciously into a slice of ham and at the withering glare he could feel from behind the sunglasses.
“You will delete that immediately.” Ignis turned his glare on the other two. Gladiolus actually shrank down into his seat and Noctis shivered only the slightest bit. “None of you will speak of this ever again.”
“Right,” they all murmured and no one dared to say anything else until they finished their breakfast. Ignis slipped into the lavatory to prepare for the day and Gladiolus leaned over near Prompto.
“You still have a copy of the song recording, right? And the pictures?” He asked in a whisper.
“Yup,” Prompto murmured back. “One for each of us.”
“If he ever learns of this, we’ll all dead,” Noctis said.
“You don’t want your copy?”
“Never said that. Now, give it.”
Finis