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Octavia sat in the window box of the living room, alternating gazes out into space with reading one of Euripides’ plays on the tablet they’d found in the ship commander’s quarters. All of the literature she could hope for had been available in the ship’s digital library, and as such reading was how Octavia passed most of her time since waking up.
There was a knock at the door and Octavia was instantly on alert. Niylah and Jackson both knocked when coming in, even though they knew they didn’t have to. But Octavia knew that both of them were in the infirmary, helping Clarke put together medkits to take down to the new planet and synthesizing nightblood for the next people who would be woken up. Only once the mission had departed would they be waking up Miller, and then the four of them - plus Bellamy - would mostly have the ship to themselves.
Octavia set down her tablet and approached the door warily when the knock sounded again. She cracked the door open to see who was there.
Of all people, she didn’t expect it to be Echo.
“Echo?” Octavia asked warily.
“Hi. The transport leaves in an hour, but I wanted to talk to you before that.”
Octavia contemplated the idea. Wondered what Echo wanted from her. What Bellamy had told her, either about life in the bunker or what had happened after she’d gone to Shallow Valley as a defector. She steeled her gaze and looked up at the other girl.
“Why?”
“I would like for us to make peace with each other.”
“What makes you think that’s something I’m interested in?”
“We fought a war that was fraught with betrayals on all sides, some that we never could have imagined. But unlike almost everyone else, I did not betray you. I was always fighting for you and for Wonkru.”
She wasn’t wrong. Octavia shrugged. “Fair enough.” She opened the door wider and walked away, returning to her window seat.
Echo took a spot on the couch, not far away. Octavia resumed looking out into space, but she could see Echo’s reflection in the glass and knew the other girl was observing her closely.
“What did you come here to say, Echo?” Octavia asked. “Actually, wait. I have two questions first.”
“Go ahead.”
“Did Bellamy ask you to come?”
“No. He doesn’t know I’m here.”
“And what has Bellamy told you?”
“About…” Echo paused. “I’m going to need more to go on.”
“Everything.”
Octavia was being vague on purpose. She knew how spies worked. Most of their work involved reading people and getting them to give up information without even realizing it. She wasn’t going to help Echo on that front.
Echo seemed to realize this, and sighed. “Okay. Well. Bellamy told me his story of what happened in Polis, from the time I left on Diyoza’s ship until we rescued you in the Rover. I know that he has letters that you wrote to him while you were in the bunker, but I have not read them nor has he told me what is in them. They’ve done a number on him though, almost every night when I come back to the room he’s reading one and crying.
“As to what I think happened in the bunker, well…” Echo shrugged. “I know something - probably several somethings - happened that you forbade your people to talk about, especially with outsiders. I can tell that whatever it was hurt you badly, and made your people fear you. But you have a warrior spirit, and you kept fighting. For them, if not yourself, if your attempt to die in a hail of bullets is anything to go by. Believe it or not, I understand.”
“How could you?”
“Did you know that before the rocket launched to take us to space, I almost didn’t go with them? I was about to kill myself. I would have, if Bellamy hadn’t stopped me.”
“Good for him. But you still weren’t in that bunker. You couldn’t understand.”
Echo nodded. “I understand why you might think that. But I’m not your brother, Octavia. I lived a very different life than both of you did on the Ark, or the life that you got familiar with living surrounded by Trikru. Whether it still exists or not, whether I’m banished or not, I’m Azgeda. For better or worse. That means I understand much more than you may think.”
Octavia dug her fingers into the cushions of the seat, trying to control her temper. Keeping her cool had been challenging enough for years, now with the added indignity of trying to keep her cool in front of her sworn enemy, it was getting harder and harder.
“What’s so special about Azgeda?” Octavia asked, spitting venom at the name of the clan she hated most of all.
“Nothing special about it. Rather - harsher. Harsher climate, harsher traditions. Only after spending time in space did I learn that it was not typical of the human experience, not even for scavengers like Emori who had the hardest path to survival. I’ve done things most people haven’t.”
“Get to the point, Echo.”
“You have too. Done things that most haven’t had to. I can see it in your eyes.”
Octavia was done. She didn’t have a weapon, but she launched herself at Echo anyway, trying to pummel the other girl with her fists. But her injuries still nagged at her, and she’d always been better at swordplay than hand-to-hand, so Echo was easily able to overpower her and pin her facedown to the couch, hands locked at the small of her back under Echo’s knee.
“I’m not your enemy, Octavia.”
“Like hell you’re not.”
“Just answer one question for me. If you’re done after that, fine. I’ll go. Or we can fight, your call.”
“Fine. I accept your terms.” Octavia said through gritted teeth.
Echo let her up, and Octavia moved back to her seat in the window, fuming, but met Echo’s gaze.
“So what’s your question?”
“Just how many of my former clan did you have to kill before they’d eat their dead?”
Octavia sat there in shock. Whatever she’d expected Echo to ask, that had certainly not been among the possibilities, and how Echo had been able to formulate that thought, she didn’t even know. But she put that concern out of her mind as she thought back to the Dark Year. Some of Wonkru had refused outright, and they’d been the first she’d shot. Others had eaten at first, but then their consciences caught up to them. They went to the fighting pits.
She remembered all of them. Their names, their former clans. So she did have an answer for Echo.
“None.”
Echo sat back and raised a knowing eyebrow at her.
“Is that why the other clans hated you? Because you ate your dead?”
“Not on a daily basis. But it happened, and some rituals called for it, yes. It was to remind us of the cycle of life and death. And that we should be ready to do anything to survive. I told you, I understand better than you would think about what went on down there.”
“You knew. Or did I just tell you?” Octavia cursed herself for slipping.
“I was ninety-nine percent sure. Some of the defectors had told me that they’d done terrible things to survive. When I was in Polis, I saw a lot more former Azgeda than I did of other clans, meaning they had a better survival rate. And Monty -” Octavia could swear she saw Echo’s eyes get watery for a moment before she blinked her tears away. “- that night at your camp in the desert, Monty told me that you’d burned the hydrofarm, and that you’d said something about surviving even after the farm stopped producing. He didn’t quite know what that meant - and I didn’t tell him - but that was enough for me to put it all together.”
Octavia nodded slowly. Her anger was slowly dissipating, and she found that she did in fact want to talk to Echo, though where that conversation would lead, she wasn’t entirely sure. But it did help that Echo was sticking to talking about facts, while Bellamy and even Niylah wanted Octavia to talk about her feelings.
“Kane didn’t like it, did he?” Echo asked.
“Excuse me?”
“I bet that’s where you lost Kane. When you had to eat your dead.”
“Yeah. Abby said there couldn’t be any resistance, otherwise those dead of starvation wouldn’t be of any use to the rest of us. She said I had to break him to get the others to eat. And so I shot three of my people right there in the cafeteria. He knew that Abby was behind it all, but he still only blamed me.”
“Typical. I know his type. But I still wouldn’t have thought that he would let all of Wonkru die because of it. I am sorry for that, Octavia. What he did was unforgivable, and I’m sorry for making it possible, I really am. I shouldn’t have made our plan in front of him. I knew he hated you, but I never thought he’d sink so low as to enable McCreary to be able to massacre your people.”
“So you don’t blame me for the massacre?”
“What? Of course not. My compassionate Spacekru side blames me, because I should have known better than to make those plans in front of Diyoza and Kane, and thus it is my fault that they had the tools to betray you with. The vengeful Azgeda side of me puts the blame where it belongs, on Diyoza and Kane and Clarke, for being traitors in the first place, when all three of them were perfectly clear on what kind of a man McCreary was.”
“This is a rare moment when I like your Azgeda side.”
Echo smirked. “I don’t think that’s the last time you’re going to say that in this conversation.”
“What else do you have?”
“Bellamy was wrong. In almost everything he did after I left Polis.”
“Bellamy poisoned me to prevent me from sending worms into Shallow Valley, which would have killed you.”
“Bellamy poisoned you to stop you from executing Clarke.” Octavia thought she saw a flicker of sadness in Echo’s eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “He killed Cooper to prevent the worms. Which was a bad play.”
“You think I should have used the worms?” Octavia asked, confused. “They would have killed you.”
“Yes. They would have. But if the research was right and the worms would die in a non-desert environment, then it was the best strategic play. Sure, being dead would suck for me. But unlike your brother and Clarke, I understand that a leader has to accept the idea of acceptable losses.”
Octavia scoffed. “Clarke understands acceptable losses. They’re just not acceptable when they’re her losses to bear. I’ve been her ‘acceptable loss’ enough times to know.”
“And for some reason Bellamy still loves her.”
Now Octavia knew she wasn’t imagining the sad tone in Echo’s voice. Echo was looking down at her lap now, not making eye contact anymore. Something was wrong.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Octavia left her window seat and sat down next to Echo. “I’m sorry.” She said, awkwardly patting Echo’s shoulder.
Echo swiped her tears away and straightened up. “I mean, I’ve always known it. Even if he didn’t. I thought things would change after our years on the Ring, but… he risked your life to save hers. That told me everything I needed to know.”
“For what it’s worth, I like you more than her.” Octavia said, to Echo’s surprise.
“But I tried to kill you. Twice.”
“To be fair, the first time I was the one who walked into your blade.”
Echo chuckled. “It was never personal, I hope you know that.”
“I do. And I’ve lost track of the number of times that Clarke has tried to kill me. So you still win.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Bellamy does love you, you know that, right? I don’t think you need to worry about him cheating on you with Clarke.”
“I know. I’m don’t even know if the feelings he has for her are romantic. Besides, he’s the one staying here. I’m the one who gets to go to the new planet with her.”
“Don’t try to kill her. That would end badly.”
“Yeah.” Echo scoffed. “I wonder what we’ll find down there.”
“Hopefully peace. I want to get out of this metal box as soon as possible.”
“Bellamy will be here for you. I know he’s started to understand your side of things more since reading those letters, and after I laid into him about everything he did in Polis, he’s even more ready to listen. He is sorry.”
“I know.” Octavia said quietly. “It just… you don’t expect the person you trust more than anyone else in the world to poison you.”
Echo nodded. “Yeah. But I do believe that you two can overcome it. I’ve never seen anyone as loyal to each other as you two are. Do you remember what I said after the Conclave, when Skaikru had stolen the bunker?”
“You asked if my plan was to wait until Bellamy came to our rescue. I said yes. And you said that knowing how he feels about me, that was a good plan.”
“Exactly. The past few weeks - well, the past weeks a hundred and twenty five years ago, but who’s counting - were a lot for both of you to deal with. But that world is far away now. You’ll find common ground again.”
“I hope so.”
Echo squeezed Octavia’s arm. “So, can we consider this hatchet buried?”
“Yeah.” Octavia nodded. “I think so. Thank you. For not judging me. But also for not tip-toeing around me like everyone else is doing right now.”
“You’re a warrior, Octavia. You’ll never not be a warrior. It would be a disservice to treat you otherwise.”
Echo stood, and held her arm out. Octavia also got to her feet and clasped Echo’s forearm in the warrior’s greeting.
“Don’t die down there.” Octavia warned. “I’m not sure he’d survive it.”
“He would. He’s got you. But thank you anyway.”
“Then don’t die for me. We still need to have that sparring match.”
Echo smirked. “Okay. You’re on.”