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“So, let me get this straight.” Agatha sipped her coffee. She was one of the few in the hospital who actually drank the stuff when they weren’t desperate at 3 am. “A hot lottery winner asked you to join him on the getaway of a lifetime and you didn’t immediately say ‘yes’?”
Barbara pushed her food around her plate. She knew she needed to eat to get through the rest of her shift, but her appetite had gone. “Yeah. I just. I don’t really know him. You know?” She heaved a sigh. “Sure, I think he’s trying to be sweet, but I don’t exactly have a great track record with men.” She speared a piece of broccoli. Brought it to her lips. Chewed. Swallowed. “I told him I’d need to think about it. The cruise isn’t for another couple months anyway. I have time.”
“Uh-huh.” Agatha leaned back in her seat, causing the chair to squeak in protest. “Until he gets tired of waiting and his eyes wander to the next pretty girl and asks her.” She rested her forearms on the table. “Look, Barb, honey, you’re a single mother and a resident. You’re schedule is chaos. Trust me, I was there more recently than anyone seems to believe. I know what it’s like. This guy already helps you, right? Watches your kid while you’re here?”
“That’s just because Jim and Toby are friends. If they weren’t, then—”
The intercom cut Barbara off, “Dr. Lake to the Nurse’s Station. Dr. Lake to the Nurse’s Station.”
Never before had Barbara been so relieved for her lunch to get called short. “Gotta go.” She lifted her tray up with her barely eaten food and made her escape.
When she reached the Nurse’s Station and saw why she’d been called, Barbara groaned. “What are you doing here?” She grabbed Ralph’s arm and yanked him to the other side of the hallway. Not completely out of earshot, but if they were careful, maybe no one would hear them.
“You left this at my place when you dropped Jim off this morning.” Ralph held up her purse so she, and everyone behind her for that matter, could see it. “Since it has your wallet and things, I thought it would be a good idea to get it to you.”
“That’s nice. Thank you.” Barbara’s cheeks burned. She could hear the whispers without really trying. “But you really didn’t have to.”
“It was no trouble. The hospital—”
Two little boys, tired of asking one of the nurses numerous questions and finally noticing Barbara’s presence, rushed up.
“Hi, mom!”
“Hi, Jim’s mom!”
“—Was on our way to park with the boys’ favorite playground.” Ralph finished sheepishly.
“Oh.” Barbara blinked down at her son and his smiling face. When was the last time she saw Jim smile like this? Her brain searched and couldn’t come up with an answer. Not since before his birthday and James…not since before his birthday.
“We’re gonna go to the park and I’m gonna climb up to the top of the slide faster than Tobes!” Jim said helpfully.
“Nu-uh!” Toby retorted. “I’m way faster than you! I’ve been practicing.”
Jim responded, “Yeah too. I’m taller, that means that, that I can climb faster.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Yes it does.”
“Nu-uh!”
“Yeah huh!”
“Nu-uh!”
“Yeah huh!”
“Boys.” Ralph interrupted them. “We should get going and let Jim’s mom and everyone get back to their very important work.”
“Oh.” Jim’s face fell. Then, he looked up at Barbara hopefully. “Can you come with us, mom?”
Barbara wanted to say, ‘yes’, but she couldn’t just leave. But she hadn’t been able to have much time to spend with Jim lately, where she wasn’t half falling asleep, either. She bit back a sigh.
“Dr. Lake?” Agatha had a smile on her face as she walked up. “Since you didn’t get to finish your lunch, how about you take a few minutes and go to the park with them?” In a quieter voice, she added, “We’ll cover for you.”
“I…umm…thank you?” Barbara answered.
At the park, when the boys had run off to the playground and they’d claimed a nearby park bench, Barbara said to Ralph, “You know, they’re going to be gossiping about this for weeks, right?” She winced at her tone. She didn’t mean to sound so negative, but she wasn’t looking forward to going back in to the hospital, where everyone would give her knowing looks. There was no way they’d believe she wasn’t doing anything with Ralph now. Barbara appreciated Ralph’s help—the fact he didn’t seem to mind stepping in quite frequently to watch Jim or pick him up from kindergarten was a life saver—but if everyone else believed there was something more there, would he start to think that she, that they…?
Look, Ralph was a kind person, but there were some things she just didn’t want to do with him.
Did he expect those things? As recompense for all he did? There wasn’t much else she could give him. He was far more financially set that she was and…
“Barbara? Barbara, you ok?” Ralph waved his hand in front of her face. “Here. Wait here a sec, I’ll be right back.” He ran off before she could reply.
Barbara sat down on the bench, glanced over to make sure the boys were still doing ok (they’d bored of the slide and were now on the monkey bars), and sighed. She hadn’t meant to disappear into her head. It was something she just did on occasion. James had never seemed to notice anyway.
“Here you go.” Ralph was back, and with an orange slushie-type drink, which he held out to her.
Barbara stared at the drink, and then Ralph.
“There’s this cart over there.” Ralph waved in the general direction to his left. “That sells these. They’re really good if you’re super tired and need to wake up a little.” He let out an awkward laugh when she didn’t respond. “You looked a little lost, so I thought that it would—”
“Ralph, do you want to sleep with me?”
Ralph’s breath caught in his throat and he choked on it. “What? I—err—no—I mean—um…what?” He backed away from her. “Not that I don’t think you’re—I mean, I don’t think you’re ugly by any means, but I—No. Just. No.” He ran a hand through his hair. “No offense.”
“None taken.” Barbara groaned. “Forget I asked that.” She looked at him, and then winced. “Please. Just forget it. Forget I said anything.” She turned her gaze to her feet.
Barbara heard Ralph shuffle next to her, and then finally sit down on the bench. He’d left a considerable amount of space between them. “Is there something going on?” He asked quietly.
Barbara hesitated, then blurted. “You. It’s you. I don’t get you. You don’t need to help me. You don’t need to do anything for me but you do anyway and, whenever James did anything, he always wanted…” At the time, she’d believed it was part of the natural give and take of relationships. It wasn’t like she’d had any other serious relationships before James to compare theirs to. Sure, her and Ralph’s friendship—relationship?—wasn’t exactly like her and James’s, but still.
“Okay.” Ralph paused. “Just so we’re clear about this, I don’t expect anything at all from you in return for watching Jim. Honestly, it’s nice to have another kid around to tire Toby out because sometimes that boy can just keep going and going long past exhausting me.”
“I know,” Barbara said. It made sense. It was logical. You could just do a nice thing for someone and not expect anything. But. “It’s just…” He’s not James and this isn’t a romance, Barbara told herself rather than say. He’s acting like a friend would. How a nice friend would. Not that you’ve ever had many of those.
She’d had friends. Well, before James, and Jim, she’d had friends. But moving across the country for med school and having a kid sort of changed things. No one wanted to spend their minutes on phone calls where the other person was half-distracted by a diaper change.
“Back at the hospital, did you hear them whisper? The way they looked at us? Like they expect us to…” Barbara ended with a hand gesture and hoped Ralph caught her meaning.
Ralph clasped his hands together over one knee. “Yeah, sort of. I tried to ignore them. But I can talk to your coworkers if that would help straighten things out?”
“No.” Barbara heaved a sigh. “That would probably just make things worse. I just…I needed to know what you’re expecting, really.” She bit her lip. “You’re the first person in years who’s been kind to me while not being a parent to me.” Barbara referred to both her own parents and his. No, she wasn’t related to Margaret and Vraxel, but their friendship was still largely defined by the fact that the couple was old enough to be her parents and occasionally did act like it. “Or James,” she added after a minute. “Though he wasn’t exactly kind, in hindsight.” She let out a long breath. “It’s hard, sometimes. To not see you as a rebound from him. Especially with the whole cruise thing. And not being certain. About what you want. I…I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay.” Ralph made eye contact with her. “I admittedly haven’t ever considered us anything more than friends, but obviously I haven’t made that clear. So, my bad on that. Sorry.” He offered her a reassuring smile. “As for the cruise, forget about it. It was an impulse decision. But I don’t want it to weigh on you.”
“I…kind of wanted to go?” Barbara bit her lip. “As long as you didn’t expect me to…” Another hand gesture. She sighed. “I do like the idea of an adventure. Especially for Jim.”
“Okay.” Ralph paused, contemplating. Then, “You can always back out at any time if you need to or don’t feel comfortable anymore. I’d like to be your friend, Barbara, but only if you want to be mine.”
Barbara smiled for the first time during their conversation. “I’d like to. Really.”
Ralph offered the orange slushie to Barbara again and she took it. “So, anything else we should talk about now while we’re airing things out?”
Barbara sipped the drink and found it was really good. She looked to Ralph, put down the slushie, and took a breath. “There is one more thing I should tell you about.” She snapped, calling into being orange-gold flickers at the tips of her fingers. “I have magic.”
“You what?!”