Work Text:
MJ was distracted from her work by the commotion of people excitedly filing out of the building, indicating the end of their work day. She looked out of the window her computer forgotten as she watched on wistfully, wishing she could be part of the crowd of people going home.
“Can you move my 10am to 9am tomorrow?” Pepper requested, startling MJ and causing her to quickly adjust her position to pretend like she’d been working and not day dreaming about going home before her boss’ unannounced appearance.
MJ cleared her throat and got to work altering the online calendar, “Yep, sure. Done.”
“Also why haven’t you ordered me dinner? My stomach is literally auto-digesting, I’m starving,” Pepper declared dramatically.
“I already-“
MJ’s protests about how her boss had already had dinner not even two hours ago were interrupted again by Pepper, “Can you order me the thing I like from that one place?”
MJ looked at her boss questioningly at her vague description, non-verbally asking her to elaborate which she did, “You know the one I got the other day with the gay waiter, the closeted one.”
After a moment’s pause as MJ tried to think back to figure out which place her boss could possibly be referring to she finally remembered the restaurant she meant. They got food from there nearly three months ago not “the other day” but she didn’t bother correcting her. Part of being an EA to a demanding Editor like Pepper Potts was knowing to pick your battles lest you incur the woman’s wrath.
“I’ll get right on that,” MJ assured as she started a google search to find the contact details of the place.
Peter paced in front of the club building one more time whilst he waited for his boss as the doorman eyed him suspiciously for his pacing which caused him to sputter out, “I’m not loitering, I’m waiting for my boss.”
The guy didn’t say anything in response, he just eyed Peter disbelievingly which made Peter even more nervous than he was.
“My boss is Tony Stark of Stark Industries. Y’know, winner of the Millennium Technology Prize and also named New York’s most eligible bachelor-“ Peter carried on railing off Tony’s achievements but stopped at the disinterested look that had crossed the doorman’s face. “I’m just gonna- I need to call my, uh, yeah,” Peter stuttered nervously.
He pulled out his phone and waited for his girlfriend to answer.
“Hey Gwen, hey baby,” Peter spoke quietly into the phone. The doorman’s presence was making him weirdly nervous and jittery. “I just wanted to let you know I have to stay late so I’m gonna-“ The rest of Peter’s words were cut off when he spotted the man he’d been waiting for finally emerging through the doors so in a hurried panic, he threw his phone across the sidewalk effectively ending his phone call. “Hey Mr Stark! How’d it go?” Peter asked as he approached his boss.
Tony groaned in response to the question before he responded, “He said he needs to see more of what our AI is capable of before he’ll invest fully,” with a roll of the eyes.
“As if there was ever any doubt in your abilities,” Peter declared.
His flattery went ignored by his boss who instead held a bottle of some disgusting green juice out, silently requesting that Peter open it for him which he did.
Tony brought the bottle up close to his mouth. “Do the thing,” he demanded as he moved one of his hands to pinch his nostrils whilst the other lifted the bottle up to drink the juice.
Peter cleared his throat as he prepared himself to go through with this bizarre routine. “Picture a wagyu steak, shrimp al forno, chicken fettucine, a four-cheese mac and cheese, Korean BBQ, uh..” Peter paused trying to think of more food he knew his boss liked and came up empty but luckily he’d already drunk most of the bottle and handed what was left of it back to Peter.
“Do you want me to order you dinner?” Peter asked since based on previous experience he knew that the juice was insufficient to fill his boss up and he’d want actual food son enough.
“What? No. Why would you ask me that when you know I’m on a juice cleanse,” Tony replied exasperatedly.
“Okay, okay. Forget it,” Peter hurriedly tried to placate the man. “So what are we doing now? Heading home or…” Peter asked quietly, hope filled.
“Home? No, we’re headed to the office so I can prep F.R.I.D.A.Y. for a new meeting with that asshole Spector,” he growled as he stepped into the back seat of his town car.
Peter sighed aloud, thinking about how he was probably not going to make it to his date as he joined Mr Stark in the car.
Tony spent the entire car journey back to their offices bitching about Mr Spector all the while Peter day dreamed of working under a less demanding boss who’d allow him to keep normal working hours.
Peter went to settle on his desk to organise a new meeting with Spector and put a request in for a new company cell phone as soon as they arrived back at their offices but was interrupted by Tony. “All that talk of food earlier from you has made me hungry, get me dinner,” he demanded simply before carrying on past Peter’s desk to his own office.
“You want dinner now?” Peter all but screeched as he looked at the clock; it was 11pm meaning most of the higher end places that Mr Stark liked were closed. Shit.
Peter ran downstairs, frantically trying to formulate a plan for how he was going to get his boss dinner. He was scrolling through his phone trying to see if any of the nearby restaurants were open so that he could go there in person to pick up the food when he nearly collided with a woman arguing with a delivery guy.
“Dude c’mon, please,” MJ pleaded.
“Like I said, cash only,” the guy responded impatiently.
“I have like three credit cards in my wallet or I can even write you a check?” MJ suggested hopefully but deflated at the guy’s bored expression. “C’mon man, you know where I work now so you can come and shake me down for your money tomorrow. Please?” MJ tried to bargain one last time.
Peter’s eyes lit up as he overheard the conversation, realising that there was a potential opportunity here.
“Hey, uh, who’s food is this?” Peter questioned.
“If you have $31.32 it’s all yours man,” the delivery guy said in the same bored tone, like he just wanted to get his money and get out of there. A sentiment shared by both MJ and Peter.
“Sweet-“ Peter exclaimed with relief, already getting his wallet out to get cash.
At the same time, MJ piped up to protest, “Woah, no. If I’m not upstairs with that food in two minutes, I’ll be fired. Also, unrelated- can I borrow some money?”
“What?” Peter asked her incredulously. “No because this is now my boss’ dinner and if I don’t get it upstairs in two minutes I’ll be fired” Peter scoffed at her.
“No you won’t. Look at you, you’re good looking privileged white guy. You’ll just call in a favour with your dad or your frat and have a new job in no time.”
Peter raised his eyebrows at the “good looking” comment but his face fell when he took in the rest of what she’d said and he eyed her with disbelief. Did he look like someone who was in a frat?
“Have a great night!” He said sarcastically as he turned to head back up to the office.
MJ stopped him with a hand on his shoulder then tried to bargain with him again, “Please, if I go back empty-handed she’s gonna fire me.”
Peter regarded her for a second as he considered giving her the food that was rightfully hers back but then he thought about what Stark’s reaction to him coming back with no dinner would be and immediately disregarded that idea. “If I don’t get my boss his dinner, I’ll be fired.”
“Well maybe you should’ve ordered something before all the restaurants closed then,” MJ responded incredulously.
“Maybe you should’ve had the cash to pay ready then,” Peter retorted.
MJ stopped him again, “Wait, wait. I’d ordered one dinner for my boss and one for me so why don’t we have one each so neither of us gets fired?”
Peter paused to consider his options.
“Please?” MJ quietly pleaded.
Peter watched her for a moment and eventually decided to give in to her suggestion though he didn’t know what made him change his mind. “Fine, sure,” he huffed. MJ perked up excitedly and reached out to the bag of food but paused mid-air as Peter carried on, “But I’m gonna need you to pay me back my money plus 10% interest tomorrow.”
“10% interest? I’m a 25-year old living in New York, I can’t afford interest,” MJ snorted.
“Do you want to keep your job or not?” Peter asked cheekily.
“Fine, okay. So I’ll take the mac and cheese and you can have the burger,” MJ said having already taken the bag out of his hands as she apportioned the food.
“Woah, stop. I can’t just take a plain burger to my boss! He’s a man of refined tastes.”
“No can do, this truffle mac and cheese is my boss’ favorite but, how about we just dress the burger up a bit to make it fancier?” MJ asked as she put some mac and cheese into the burger. Once she was done, she grabbed a container for herself and left one on the ground for Peter.
She walked away, leaving him to pick up the remaining food off the floor as she hopped onto the elevator. “You’re still a dick by the way!” MJ exclaimed as the elevator doors closed.
Peter was sat by his desk mindlessly scrolling on his phone, moping at having missed yet another date with Gwen Stacy last night after his boss had only let him leave around 1am. His mopping was however disturbed by the girl from last night suddenly appearing in front of his desk.
“Here’s your money plus the interest you dick,” MJ announced as she handed him his money without even so much as a “hello”.
“Good morning- wait no, it’s night time; oh my God.”
“Riiiiight, I’m just gonna go,” MJ turned to leave him.
“What are you still doing here? Are you like a janitor?” Peter asked her stopping her in her tracks.
“Do I look like a janitor to you?” MJ asked with her eyes narrowed and head tilted with interest. Peter didn’t respond feeling like this was somehow a trap so she carried on, “No I’m not a janitor, I work for Pepper Potts.”
“Who?”
“Pepper Potts? Editor of the US Independent?” Peter still looked back at her confusedly so she carried on, “The biggest online news source in North America? Writer of the piece on the Rohingya Refugee Crisis Ten Years on for which she won a Pulitzer?”
“Cool,” Peter stated simply.
“Cool? She literally uncovered how the charity organisations had been stealing money which is why so many people are still in refugee camps. It was literally the greatest piece of investigative journalism of the era,” MJ said rolling her eyes.
“It’s a big deal, I get it,” Peter stated.
“I don’t think you do get it though, it’s the pinnacle of modern journalism.”
Peter rolled his eyes at her dramatics and decided to change topics, “So why are you here?”
“I can’t leave unless Pepper leaves, and she never leaves so I’m always the last one here.”
“No I’m always the last one here,” Peter protested.
“Are not!” MJ argued childishly.
“Pretty sure I am.”
“Well Pepper keeps a cot in her office,” MJ crossed her arms and eyed him daring him to one-up that.
“Tony designed a desk chair that turns into a cot,” Peter retorted triumphantly.
MJ huffed defeatedly as she settled into the chair opposite his.
“Want a drink?” Peter offered after a moment.
“We’re at work,” MJ scoffed.
“It’s nearly midnight, one drink won’t hurt,” Peter persuaded.
They both settled in to have a drink as they chatted and got to know the other until conversation eventually died down so MJ was now sat catching up on an episode of ‘The Good Place’ whilst Peter scrutinised his phone.
“Oh my God,” Peter grumbled breaking the companionable silence between them. “Gwen’s always invited to all this cool shit and I miss out.”
“I miss everything,” MJ commiserated. “It’s been so long since I went to a party or made out with a guy or even had sex come to think of it, I’m basically a virgin again.” Peter looked at her incredulously at that but that didn’t stop her, “When my mum was my age she had me and now my roommate Liz is engaged and yet I’ve never even had a boyfriend!”
“Wait- you’ve never had a boyfriend? But you’re a grownup?” Peter asked, confusion marring his face.
“Take that back!” MJ demanded, shuddering at the thought of being an adult. “Oh God, I’m gonna end up like Pepper…just the single and sexless part not the super successful and well respected in my field part.”
“Our bosses just need to get laid, that’s their problem.”
“The two of them are always here anyway so why don’t we just lock them in a room together so they can have sex with each other!” MJ declared mock-seriously.
Peter looked at her disbelievingly for a quiet moment then they both burst into laughter at the same time.
MJ’s laughter was first to die down, “No but think about it we can Cyrano them out of the office then when they’re boning, we’re free!”
Peter giggled at her suggestion, “Well I don’t need to be free, I need Tony’s connections so I can eventually have my own start-up.”
“What connections? The warlords he’s sold weapons to?”
Peter rolled his eyes at this. “That was over two decades ago, he doesn’t sell weapons anymore. He sells A.I. and other software to companies depending on their needs,” he explained.
“Oh, so he’s now a corporate shill. Wow, such fulfilling work you do,” MJ snorted sarcastically.
“Okay, it’s time for you to go.” Peter declared taking the now empty glass away from her.
“Bye!” MJ waved excitedly to rile him up as she got up to leave.
MJ was admittedly past the point of tipsy when she’d initially suggested they set their bosses up the previous night hence why Peter had initially laughed it off. But after being blown off by Gwen again, he found himself unable to sleep and he started seriously considering it.
So come morning he went to MJ’s desk to share the plan he’d concocted with her.
“Morning MJ!” he greeted excitedly as he approached her desk. “Okay so,” Peter started as he came to stand next to MJ’s seat with his laptop open to show her the excel spreadsheet he’d been up making.
“God why are you so chipper, it’s like 8am?” MJ jeered at Peter who was practically bouncing with excitement. She took a look at the laptop he’d shoved in front of her face without asking and narrowed her eyes in confusion, “What is this?”
“It’s a spreadsheet of everything I know about Tony- what he likes and what he doesn’t like,” Peter was pointing to the corresponding columns as he spoke.
“Uh, okay? What’s this for?” MJ was still confused and hadn’t put two and two together; she wasn’t a morning person and was a little slower this early in the day, sue her.
Peter lowered his voice to a whisper before speaking though the excitement in his voice was still apparent even with the reduced volume, “To set them up.”
“For the Cyrano thing? That was a joke, Peter.”
“Yeah that c-thing, I know it was but it doesn’t have to be,” Peter said suggestively. “Just think about all the parties and all the other- uh, stuff, you’d be able to do…” Peter had gone beet red, too embarrassed to talk about MJ making out with guys or having sex.
“Peter-“
“C’mon MJ. It’d be so easy to do, like- what’s Pepper’s favorite food?”
“The sourdough eggplant at Blue Hill,” MJ answered easily without even having to stop and think about it.
“Where will she be at 3pm today?” Peter asked with interest.
MJ found herself answering his questions before she could even stop herself entertaining Peter and his ridiculous plan, “Interviewing Tarana Burke.”
“And what does she hate?”
“People who incorrectly sign off emails and Republicans.”
“See!” Peter exclaimed victoriously, his arms gesticulating wildly. “We know everything about them. What they like, what they don’t like. We control their entire schedule. We’re the men behind the curtain. We can get them to do anything!” Peter listed off with a slightly maniacal look in his eyes that caused MJ to lean away from him slightly.
MJ turned away from Peter, his wide-eyed stare as he waited for her to consider what he’d said freaking her out a bit, and she skim-read the spreadsheet he’d put in front of her. “This is very thorough.”
“Thank you,” Peter declared with pride.
“Absolutely not.”
“What?” Peter asked, seemingly surprised by MJ saying no to his completely insane plan. “I thought-“
“This is insane. I barely have enough time to do my actual job and if Pepper ever found out, she’d fire me.”
“But she wouldn’t find out, c’mon MJ!” Peter beseeched.
“Yeah…no. Now I have actual work to do so shoo,” MJ said as she grabbed some files to take to Pepper for her 9am meeting.
“But MJ,” Peter whined petulantly.
“Go away,” MJ requested one final time, rolling her eyes.
Peter eventually walked away to go back to his own floor but not before he looked back at her with his best version of puppy dog eyes and an exaggerated sad face.
MJ just laughed and shook her head before rushing to prepare the conference room before Pepper came in for the day.
MJ was resolute in her decision not to set their bosses up; it was absolutely insane and kind of creepy.
That resoluteness was however tested later that very same day when she accompanied Pepper to a nearby hotel for the interview.
MJ had spent most of the previous couple of weeks since Tarana Burke had agreed to be interviewed gushing about the woman to Pepper. She’d made it clear how much she admired her and her activism and practically begged for Pepper to let her just be present in the room when she conducted the interview; she asked to just sit in the corner so she could just be a few feet away from her hero.
However, once they got to the hotel and MJ had set up the room they’d be using, Pepper asked MJ to go and pick up her dry cleaning all the way across town during school rush hour traffic a mere five minutes before Tarana was due to arrive meaning MJ would effectively miss out on the entire interview.
This was the straw that broke the camel’s back for MJ so to speak, and she found herself approaching Peter in his offices’ break room the very next day.
“I’m in,” she declared with no preamble.
Peter turned away from the coffee machine to regard MJ and make sure he’d heard her right. He gave her a questioning look, seeking confirmation.
“When they’re boning we’re free, right?” MJ clarified.
“So where could they meet?” Peter asked, more thinking out loud than actually looking for a response from MJ. “I mean, Tony spends a lot of his time at the District Club.”
“Okay. Could Pepper potentially run into him there?” MJ suggested.
Peter scoffed at her suggestion, “Yeah sure she can run into him. After she’s been nominated by two current members, one former member and been approved by the board. Oh and also, she needs to have a sex change because technically women are allowed but…”
“Oh so your boss is in an all men’s social club? Wow, what a modern man…so with the times,” MJ snarked.
“Yeah, yeah. Shut up.”
“Okay so where else could they meet?” MJ asked, getting them back on track.
“Well Tony spends most of his time either at work or doing tech stuff which is probably a no-go for your boss. Oh, but he also goes to basketball games occasionally.”
“All Pepper really cares about is the publication and social justice but she has courtside tickets for WNBA games for life after her piece on the wage gap between the NBA and the WNBA but, wait- would your chauvinist boss even go to a WNBA game?” MJ asked with her eyes narrowed.
“He’s not a chauvinist and for your information, he goes to both NBA and WNBA games all the time actually,” Peter defended.
“If you say so but they’d need a meet-cute before we go to the big leagues as it were,” MJ said with a wink at her own pun.
“I’m pretty sure that’s a baseball pun,” Peter teased bemusedly.
“As I was saying,” MJ said pointedly, ignoring his comment. “A meet-cute like with every great fake romance devised by overworked assistants! Like getting stuck in an elevator or something.”
“So let’s just get them stuck in an elevator then,” Peter said like it was obvious.
“What? You can’t just get people stuck in an elevator,” MJ responded exasperatedly.
“You can when you know Tim,” Peter declared glowing with pride like he expected MJ to be impressed by that.
“Who’s Tim?”
“Tim the elevator guy.” At her face not twitching a muscle in recognition he tried again, “Everyone calls him “creepy Tim” but I think that’s a bit mean but yeah, Tim.”
“Yeah, I don’t actually interact with much less befriend people in our building Peter,” MJ said finally.
“Forget it, all I’m trying to say is that we can totally get Tony and Pepper stuck in an elevator today if we go to Tim.”
“Okay, great. Let’s hurry up and get back. They’ll be getting back from their lunch breaks soon,” MJ shouted back, already having walked ahead of Peter who had to jog to keep up with her long strides.
They jogged back to their building and Peter took her to Tim, who they explained their entire plan to and he had agreed to help them because of Peter gifting him with a succulent to add to his collection.
They stood on either side of Tim’s chair as they anxiously watched the CCTV footage of the elevator, awaiting their bosses.
“Oh my God there!” MJ exclaimed suddenly, pointing to the screen. “They’re both getting on, it’s happening!”
Peter eyed her curiously at how excited she suddenly was about the plan considering she’d not been on board before. She cleared her throat in an attempt to compose herself back to the picture of nonchalance when she noticed Peter eyeing her.
“Okay, I’m stopping the elevator now,” Tim declared as he pressed the button for the emergency stop.
“I don’t need this, I have a post-lunch meeting I need to get to,” they heard Pepper say over the speaker.
“I have stuff to do too, lady,” Tony replied.
They watched as Pepper moved to press the emergency call button on the lift before Tony put a hand out to stop her, “Woah, what are you doing?”
Pepper looked at Tony’s hand that was clearly on her forearm which caused Tony to quickly withdraw it and take a step back away from her, it was amusing to see that Pepper intimidated just about everyone. “Calling for help obviously,” Pepper declared.
“You don’t need to call for help when you’re stuck in an elevator with the Tony Stark,” Tony said with a smirk, moving to remove a small toolbox from his pocket.
Pepper just watched on with a deadpan expression on her face, clearly not impressed which caused Tony to gulp nervously as he turned to work on the elevator.
Within a few minutes he’d got the elevator up and running again.
“Woah, woah, Tim stop the elevator again,” Peter requested, starting to panic at how their plan was going awry.
Tim went to press the emergency stop button again but to no avail. “Sorry Pete, Tony’s fix has overridden me. I can’t stop it again.”
Peter and MJ simultaneously groaned aloud in frustration realising this meet-cute was a dud and they’d have to try another tactic.
“Let’s just go straight for the basketball game this weekend, I know a guy who controls the kiss cam,” MJ reassured.
“Fine,” Peter responded dejectedly, turning to leave with MJ. He turned back to wave at Tim one last time as they were about to exit the room, “Bye Tim, thanks again!"
Peter and MJ got to the basketball game nice and early to ensure everything would go accordingly after having tricked their respective bosses into going as well.
“Okay so, what do they look like?” MJ’s friend asked.
“One’s a stunningly beautiful woman with fiery red hair, and a fierceness that’s both scary and inspiring. The other’s a guy. He has like a goatee, I guess,” MJ explained.
“I got you,” the guy said with a wink as he walked away from them.
With the kiss cam situation presumably handled they went to settle into their seats to watch.
“I’m gonna take a picture of you,” Peter said as he leant back to get a better angle of MJ in her cute team merch. “You can post it on Tinder or whatever app you use for uh-“ Peter cleared his throat before carrying on, “stuff and things and guys or whatever.”
MJ regarded him with amusement.
“Because you know, guys love girls who like sports,” Peter finished.
She snorted at that, “Okay firstly, why would I care what guys like? And secondly, guys think they like girls who like sports but what they actually like is a girl in a very tight sports jersey serving them wings and getting the terminology wrong. Guys like girls who like guys who like sports.”
“Oh yeah?” Peter looked at questioningly.
“Yep,” MJ stated simply.
They just stared at each other silently for a moment, their faces only inches away from each other but he eventually pulled his gaze away from her when they’d held the stare for a little longer than was comfortable. His eyes settled on MJ’s boss giving him an excuse for having looked away, “Oh Pepper is here!”
“Yes, operation Cyrano is a go!” MJ declared with a fist pump.
“Yep, it’s a go,” Peter declared with slightly less enthusiasm.
The two of them spent most of the game with their attention not on the elite basketball players on the court but on the screen, impatiently waiting for the kiss cam.
Eventually, the time for the kiss cam came and they both watched for Pepper and Tony to come up on screen. When they finally did after what felt like an eternity, both Peter and MJ unconsciously leant forward in their seats to watch on in anticipation but were left dumbfounded when Pepper had simply shrugged off the kiss cam, refusing to kiss Tony.
“C’mon,” MJ mumbled to herself, not wanting Peter to see just how invested she was in their little plan after all.
The kiss cam eventually came back to Pepper and Tony again and after some prompting (read- booing) from the crowd and the camera lingering on them for a prolonged moment they eventually leaned in for a quick peck to which MJ and Peter both jumped out of their seats in celebration.
“Yes!” Peter celebrated, raising both his arms into the air. Without even thinking about it, he wrapped MJ up in a tight hug, the adrenaline and relief of the situation driving him to do so.
They stayed like that for a few moments until they both eventually realised how weird the hug was and they pulled away, clearing their throats to try and lessen the awkwardness of the situation.
“Cool,” MJ said, refusing to make eye contact with Peter.
“Yeah, I hope this works,” he said with a nervous laugh.
“Yeah, we should probably go,” MJ awkwardly gestured toward their nearest exit.
“Yep, yeah. I have a date with Gwen that’ll hopefully not be interrupted by Tony.”
“Cool,” MJ repeated quietly as they walked outside together. “Well, see ya!” She said before quickly walking away from Peter.
Following that basketball game, their work life was bliss.
Tony and Pepper were so wrapped up in each other that they spent far less time in the office, meaning both MJ and Peter actually got to keep normal office hours for once.
It was heaven.
MJ even had time to go on a date with a very nice, Harry Osborn who held his own respectable job with the State’s Attorney even though he came from a wealthy family.
Peter for his part, actually got to spend some much-needed quality time with Gwen that didn’t get interrupted by Tony calling him with weird requests at weird times of the day.
Point is, it was all going swimmingly until their bliss was interrupted by both Tony and Pepper coming into work as their usual demanding and dismissive selves.
Pepper complained to MJ about how she’d gotten her coffee order wrong even though MJ was 100% certain she didn’t since she’d been getting her the same order for the past two years she’d worked for her.
She knew something was wrong so she left the office under the guise of going to get the correct order to go and see Peter.
She found him pacing by his desk, clearly spiralling.
“Peter!” She said to startle him out of his state.
“Huh, what?” Peter asked as he finally stopped his pacing and turned to face MJ.
“What’s going on?” MJ asked, keeping her voice low.
“I don’t know! Everything was going so well and things were good with Gwen and I finally, it was nice to not live at the office, you know? I’ve just really enjoyed the past few weeks of normalcy-“
MJ interrupted his rambling before he could go any further, “Peter. I meant with Pepperony.”
“Pepperony?” Peter asked curiously.
“Yeah it’s their ship name, it’s a portmanteau- like when you put two words together- of Pepper and Tony,” MJ elaborated.
“Yeah I know what a portmanteau is,” Peter huffed.
“Thought I’d explain since you don’t know what most big words like Cyrano mean,” MJ said with a smirk.
“What?” Peter protested, his voice raising an octave. “I totally know what a serrano is.”
“Nope, that’s food,” MJ declared triumphantly, her arms crossing as if daring him to try and argue with her.
“Well- actually, we should be figuring out how to get “Pepperony” back together not arguing over word definitions so how about you focus?” Peter declared.
MJ gave him a look that promised their argument was simply shelved for another time. “Okay, do you know what happened?”
“I’m not sure, all I got was that they had an argument whilst they were out for dinner and Tony now feels humiliated over whatever it was.”
MJ didn’t respond as she quietly considered how best to proceed for a moment. “I got it! How about we buy each of them apology gifts so they think the other sent it.”
“Yes!” Peter agreed.
“He should also probably apologise,” MJ added.
“Why? We don’t know that he’s the one who was in the wrong?”
“Yeah but…he’s a man,” MJ fired back with a smirk.
Peter opened his mouth to protest but came up with no retort so didn’t raise an argument, “Okay, what should he say? We want this to be perfect.”
“Mmm,” MJ said aloud as she thought it through. “I don’t know, I guess just- most women want to be seen y’know. I don’t mean like their looks or whatever but just like, an acknowledgement of all the hard work they’re doing both with their work and on themselves. Just, uh, reassurance that it’s seen and it’s appreciated,” MJ said quietly, tucking a strand of hair that had escaped her low ponytail behind her ear.
“Okay,” Peter cleared his throat so he could speak properly. “Yeah I’ll slyly tell Tony that. Let’s do this.”
“Cool.”
“Cool.”
They got to work with getting each of their bosses gifts then getting the gifts to them covertly to maintain their cover, which along with a heartfelt apology from Tony, had worked meaning soon enough they were back to their bliss of normal work hours. MJ only knew it worked when she heard very suspicious sounds coming from Pepper’s office in the middle of the night a mere half an hour after Tony had gone into her office to apologise.
She was grossed out but she couldn’t complain too much as a happy Pepper meant a happy and less stressed out MJ.
“Peter!” MJ shouted over her incessant knocking on his apartment door.
He eventually opened the door and she walked through, not waiting to be invited in. “Nantucket is officially a go,” she declared happily. “They land in an hour and I put the champagne on Tony’s credit card so here you go!” She handed him the aforementioned credit card and they high-fived celebrating the fact that they had managed to execute their plan to send their bosses on a romantic weekend away so they could have the weekend off.
“Hotel room is all set too,” Peter added.
“Nantucket is gonna be boner city,” MJ declared waggling her eyebrows comically which made Peter screw his face up in mock-disgust at how lewd she could be sometimes.
“I love boner city!” Ned chimed in as he walked into the kitchen where MJ and Peter were currently stood.
“MJ this is my roommate Ned, he’s a Chemistry teacher at a middle school in the Bronx but he’s gay so keep it in your pants,” Peter teased.
“Damn,” MJ sighed dramatically as she went to shake Ned’s hand. Ned for his part simply pulled her in for a hug.
“Why are you dressed like that by the way?” Peter asked once she’d pulled away from her hug with Ned, noting the nice sundress she had on.
“For Liz’s engagement party. What are you wearing?” She asked narrowing her eyes at his outfit.
“What do you mean what am I wearing, this is cool,” Peter tried to defend his fashion choices.
“Yeah okay,” MJ retorted sarcastically to Ned and they shared a knowing look then started laughing at his expense.
“What is this? Can you guys stop bonding? Stop teaming up to make fun of me!” Peter protested gesturing between the pair who were now laughing hysterically, leaning on the other for support.
“We’re friends now,” MJ declared to Ned.
“Best friends,” Ned affirmed. “Do you wanna come to this pool party?”
“No, I need to go home and write and try to distract myself.”
“Distract yourself from what?” Peter questioned.
“From thinking about mine and Harry’s break up,” MJ responded quietly.
“A pool party with free food and alcohol is the perfect way to distract yourself from a break up,” Ned told her rubbing her shoulder soothingly.
“You had me at free food,” MJ said with a wide grin plastered on her face.
Ned turned to Peter, “Cool, she’s my plus one.”
“You’re my plus one and I’m Gwen’s plus one, you can’t also have a plus one,” Peter said incredulously at his friend’s warped logic.
“Sure I can,” Ned declared as he turned to walk out of the apartment with MJ in tow.
When they got to the party Gwen seemed distracted by all her friends, none of whom Peter was familiar with and she didn’t even come and say hi to Peter, so instead they spent most of the party together as a trio and it was actually quite enjoyable.
They ate way too much free barbeque food and had drunk a few too many cocktails- they were just so refreshing in the stifling summer heat- and soon it was time for MJ to go to Liz’s engagement party.
“No don’t go best friend,” Ned protested, weakly reaching an arm out from where he was lounging.
“I gotta go and show up sans date…again,” MJ sighed as she got up out of her seat preparing to go.
“I’ll go with you!” Peter declared unexpectedly. From the surprised expression on his face he didn’t expect to suggest that himself either.
“Uh what- what about Gwen?”
“It’s fine, I’m just helping a friend out, c’mon.”
And with that they made their way to the rooftop venue for Liz’s party.
There they continued drinking, which they probably shouldn’t have done, and dancing goofily as they celebrated Liz’s engagement and enjoyed their night.
“Not bad, white boy,” MJ said nodding her head appreciatively at Peter dancing to Earth, Wind and Fire’s ‘September’.
“I got rhythm,” Peter said shrugging as he continued dancing.
“Don’t get cocky,” MJ retorted and they giggled as they continued dancing when the music suddenly switched to a slower one.
They both kind of hovered awkwardly unsure how to proceed for a moment before Peter thought “fuck it” and reached out both his hands to pull MJ in for a dance.
They swayed gently to the music for a while in companionable silence before MJ broke it, “Thanks for coming with me by the way. You didn’t have to.”
“Just helping a friend out and besides, this has been fun I don’t mind.”
MJ moved to look him directly in the eye before she spoke again, “Yeah but Gwen-“
“It’s fine don’t worry about it,” Peter said interrupting her.
They danced to a few more slow jams until it came time for them to leave.
Peter made awkward small talk with Liz’s fiancée Michael whilst MJ drunkenly bid farewell to Liz then after grabbing a box of pizza for them to share they eventually left.
They drunkenly made their way back to Peter’s apartment in silence with MJ gazing adoringly at the box of pizza Peter was holding.
“I kind of wanna fuck this pizza,” MJ confessed.
“I know it’s been a while for you but please don’t fuck the pizza,” Peter said with a giggle, his drunken state being the only reason he was playing along rather than complaining about how vulgar she was being.
They walked into his apartment to music blaring through the speakers which caused Peter to immediately steer them out of the apartment again. “I’m sorry, Ned’s playing ‘Third Eye Blind’,” Peter said by way of explanation.
“Okay?”
“That means he’s hooking up with a guy.”
“Ned’s gay? Why are all the good ones gay?” MJ asked with a pout.
“What?”
“I’m kidding,” MJ said as she broke into a fit of alcohol-induced giggles.
They made their way back outside where Peter pulled the fire escape ladder down for them so they could go up to his apartment that way instead.
Peter climbed in first, carrying the pizza as MJ warned him to look after her “baby” the whole way up until they got into his bedroom.
“It’s probably safest if we stay in here, sorry,” Peter said as he settled onto the floor beside his bed.
MJ sat next to him on the floor as they finally, finally, tucked into their pizza.
“The delayed gratification makes this pizza taste even better,” MJ said in between bites of her slice. Peter only nodded in response, his mouth full of pizza.
They ate in silence, both just savouring the taste of the cheap pizza. MJ was so focused on intently analysing the cheese to crust ratio that she didn’t notice Peter watching her until she looked up and met his stare, then they just stayed there for a moment watching each other.
The moment was charged with something, the tension electrifying as they found themselves slightly pulled towards the other. Their faces were just centimetres apart before MJ finally broke the stare, “I should probably go,” she said clearing her throat.
“Slice for the road?”
“Yes please,” she said as she took the slice he handed her then she climbed back out to the fire escape to head home, confused.
Peter was left still sat on his bedroom floor eating pizza silently, similarly confused when the silence was interrupted by his phone vibrating. He gazed down at it to see Gwen calling.
He hit ignore then went back to eating his pizza in silence.
When Peter got to work the following Monday there was a note asking him to go down to MJ’s floor so he went and awkwardly stood by MJ’s desk.
“Uh, hey,” he greeted with a small smile.
“Hi,” MJ replied with a matching smile. “What are you doing here?”
Before he could reply Pepper stepped out of her office and beckoned them both to step into her office.
When they got in they saw Tony there waiting as well and after taking their seats Tony was first to speak, “Peter this is Pepper and Pepper’s assistant DJ.”
“MJ,” Pepper corrected.
MJ and Peter turned to awkwardly shake hands like they were meeting for the first time then turned back to their bosses to see what they had to say.
“You two should get to know each other because Pepper and I are getting married,” Peter announced as he took Pepper’s hand in his own.
“Oh, uh, wow,” Peter was first to respond.
“Wonderful,” MJ chimed in.
“Great,” Peter added.
“Just- incredible,” MJ spoke up this time.
They would’ve carried on their routine of awkwardly saying synonyms for “good” in turns until Tony interrupted them, “We’re flying to St John’s then we’re gonna elope on the beach. Sunsets and all that romantic shit.” As Tony spoke, Pepper continued holding onto his hand and she was smiling shyly. “We want you two to set it up.”
“Ah of course,” MJ said as she quickly went to grab her trusty notepad.
“How come you’re not writing this down like TJ?” Tony asked Peter.
“Uh, yep, yeah,” Peter awkwardly fumbled to get his phone out of his pocket to pretend to make notes.
“When should we set it up for?” MJ asked as she started scribbling on her notepad.
“Next Saturday,” Tony responded with conviction.
“That’s- that’s so soon,” MJ said, the panic in her voice rising slightly.
“Yep, when you know you know,” Pepper spoke up with a smile unlike anything MJ had ever seen before on her face.
“Cool, yep. We’ll get right on that,” Peter said awkwardly as he steered him and MJ out of the room when he saw how Tony and Pepper were gazing lovingly at each other, seemingly having forgotten him and MJ were still in the room.
When they were out of the office and safely out of ear shot MJ turned to him, “We can’t let them go through with this right? Their relationship is a lie.”
“Maybe the circumstances they started dating under were a pretence but who’s to say the rest of it is a lie,” Peter tried to reason.
“You can’t be serious?” MJ regarded him disbelievingly. “Any time they’ve had a fight we’ve had to intervene and tell them what to do and say and get gifts for them. They don’t know how to face issues or obstacles as a couple because we’ve done it for them!” MJ all but shouted.
Peter pushed her into a slight enclave to ensure they were away from prying eyes and ears.
“Who are we to say they don’t have genuine feelings for each other?”
“Their feelings are based on a fictitious perception of what they think their relationship is Peter, c’mon,” MJ argued. “We need to tell them what we’ve done!”
“But why, they could genuinely love each other for all we know and besides, once they’re married they’ll be so happy. Especially during their honeymoon, I can get everything I need to leave and go start my own tech firm and you can probably finally submit that article you’ve been working on on inner city child geniuses who don’t receive the same attention as their more affluent counterparts. It’ll be good for all of us.”
MJ just stared at him, shocked by his words. “So you’re willing to let them go through with this just for your own personal gain?”
“That’s not what I’m saying Em-”
“I didn’t realise how much of an asshole you are. Clearly Tony’s rubbed off on you,” MJ said as she moved to walk away.
“Michelle,” Peter held out a hand to stop her.
“I’m gonna tell Pepper,” she concluded before leaving him.
When MJ told Pepper about her part in setting her and Tony up, she hadn’t reacted or said much. She simply asked MJ to leave and to not come back to the office until further notice.
This left MJ to sit at home polishing up her article in between her moping.
Meanwhile, Peter carried on with work as normal and he still went on dates with Gwen.
However, he was unable to shake the feeling that everything was wrong. From everything that had gone down with Pepper and Tony and MJ to his relationship with Gwen; it all just didn’t sit well with him.
So whilst out on a dinner date with Gwen, everything finally seemed to come together in his head.
“Gwen, I can’t do this anymore,” he said to her quietly as he picked at his food.
“What do you mean?”
“This relationship, I’m done. We’re done.”
“Are you really dumping me whilst we’re on a date at a really nice restaurant?” Gwen questioned accusingly.
“I’m sorry Gwen, I need to do something right now, we can talk about everything properly later, okay? I’m sorry I need to go.” And with that he promptly exited the restaurant and headed straight for the airport where Tony and Pepper’s flight would be departing from soon.
He managed to catch them just as they were joining the line to board.
“Tony, Pepper, wait!” He called out, stopping them in their tracks. “I’m sorry but you can’t get married. MJ and I set you guys up and we’ve been secretly really involved in your relationship all along, I’m sorry.”
“Peter I already know, it’s okay,” Pepper reassured.
“We’re not getting married, kid,” Tony added.
“Oh, but you’re- you’re going to St John’s and uh, I’m confused?”
“We cancelled everything you guys booked for us and we’ve booked two separate rooms. We’re just going away and we’re gonna try to get to know each other over this weekend and see where things go without you guys meddling,” Pepper reassured whilst Tony nodded his head in agreement.
“O- oh. Oh. Phew, thank God,” Peter said sighing in relief.
“You’re not out of the clear for all this by the way, we’re gonna have a long discussion about your career when I get back,” Tony warned.
“Err, Mr Stark I-“
Peter’s attempt at an explanation was interrupted by Tony, “I said when I get back, now go, get out of here.”
Peter turned around and mechanically left the airport trying to process what had just happened. He didn’t even think about the fact that he was probably getting fired on Monday, his mind was instead occupied with thoughts of MJ and how he had to see her.
He was headed for their office building to try and find MJ’s address after having realised he didn’t actually know where she lived when he literally bumped into the woman plaguing his thoughts.
“Hi,” he said shyly as he steadied her with a hand on her lower back.
“What are you doing here?” MJ asked as she moved out of his grasp.
“Oh I, uh, I was trying to find you actually,” he said nervously rubbing the back of her neck. MJ didn’t say anything which made him even more nervous so he carried on, “You were right-“
MJ interrupted his speech, “I’m always right.”
Peter rolled his eyes fondly at her. “Would you just let me speak. I prepared a whole speech and everything on my way here.”
MJ simply folded her arms and nodded her head slightly for him to continue.
“You were right about Pepperony,” He put extra emphasis on the portmanteau she’d coined to make her smile and it worked as she smirked slightly. “We orchestrated that entire relationship and it was wrong of me to want them to go through with it when it wasn’t real but you know what’s real? My feelings are real,” He exhaled loudly once he’d gotten it all out.
He waited a beat before he realised there were a few things he should probably clarify, “By “my feelings”, I mean my feelings for you, obviously. I really, really like you MJ and I see you. I see that you’re a gifted writer and you’ll make one hell of an investigative journalist but you’re scared of not being good enough, not like Pepper, and that holds you back and so you’ve been working on the same article for the past 3 years. I see that you have no reason to be afraid, you’re so passionate and you hold your own firm beliefs and you’re so well informed on everything; all qualities of a great journalist and writer. Plus, you know so many words that you could use to write an article like Cyrano- which by the way, I finally looked up and I actually know what it means slash refers to now so…All I’m trying to say is that you’re so gifted and I’m in awe of you so yeah,” he finished off awkwardly.
After a pause MJ finally spoke up, “I see you too I guess, Peter,” with a hint of amusement lacing her words. “Also I may like you too,” she added more quietly.
Peter grabbed her hand and stepped into her personal space then they both moved towards each other and their lips met in a searing kiss. They kissed like that for a while, the kiss deepening when Peter’s tongue glided across her lower lip.
They eventually pulled away to stare at each other adoringly for a moment, both smiling shyly at the other, then their lips re-joined to resume their leisurely kissing as MJ’s hands ran through his tussled curls.