Chapter Text
The waves crashing on the shore calms her as she stares into the blackness outside beyond the half opened window. Even with the lights off in the study, she can’t make anything out. The moon’s quiet almost as if it’s honoring Lena. She can’t focus on anything but her steady heartbeat and the waves outside. It calms her — steadies her. It forces her to be present in this moment.
Her thoughts wander briefly to Kara and if she can hear the way her heart pounds slightly faster when she thinks about her. She knows by now that her girlfriend — no fiancé, she reminds herself with a soft smile — listens to her heartbeat when she needs to calm down. Lena likes that, being able to calm Kara down. Never in her life has someone relied on her as their center.
Her eyes burn in a familiar way whenever she thinks about how lucky she’s become. Her throat tightens and she feels so happy that it’s overwhelming. She’s not used to joy. Her life was a constant state of be better, work harder, you are nothing, you can never do anything right that she started to believe it. She would never be anything more than her last name. A Luthor, even a half breed, was still a Luthor after all — cruel, reckless, cunning, and above all else, smart. Some of those she holds onto, but the rest serve as constant reminder that she can never be off. She consistently needs to be good so no one can point a finger at her and whisper Lex or Lillian. It’ll always happen, she knows that now. Even with all the good L Corp has been doing over the past few years or the charities Lena supports personally or anonymous donations collected each Christmas to ensure everyone has a happy holiday.
Before she can wander deeper in a spiral, there’s a soft knock on the door. It startles her at first. Maybe it’s Eliza or Alex. They both had popped their heads in earlier in the night. But the house is mostly quiet now, so she hardly breathes until she hears Kara’s whispers. “Lena? It’s me. Kara.”
An uncharacteristic giggle bubbles out as she climbs off the pullout couch and slides down the door to be as close to her future wife as she can be. “I know it’s you. You don’t have to tell me every time. I’d know your voice anywhere, Supergirl.” Her tone turns teasing, immediately relaxed at the sound of Kara’s voice. She feels centered once again. “What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here.”
She hears a huff followed by a soft thump. Lena’s sure Kara just let her head flop against the door. At least she didn’t put a hole in it. There was no way they could explain that to Eliza. “I miss you.” It comes out in a half whine that makes Lena’s lips curl up into a wide smile. A smile that almost rivals the way Kara beams at Lena when she sees her. “Are you okay? I heard your heart rate pick up. Did something happen?” The words come in a rush and it takes Lena a second to process it all.
It’s her turn to let her head fall back on the door. “I was thinking about my life before you. How it was so bleak and the only thing I ever wanted to be was good. And then you showed up in my office with Clark and decided to give me a chance despite my last name.” She swallows hard and rubs at her eyes hard until the burn disappears. She won’t cry. Not now.
“Lena?”
She clears her throat. “I’m here, darling.” The pet name slips out of her lips so easily and she has an overwhelming urge to open the door and climb into Kara’s lap. “You believed in me even when I didn’t. Never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. You loved me when I felt unlovable. You make me actually believe I’m good. I don’t look in the mirror and doubt. Not as much as before anyway.” Her eyes and throat betray her again with a tightening and another rush of heat.
When she stops again, she can hear Kara moving on the other side of the door. “Babe?” She somehow knows, even without x-ray vision, that Kara’s turned and laid her forehead against the door. “You’re making it really hard not to open this door.” Lena swears she can hear the emotion thick on her girlfriend’s tongue. It makes her eyes burn harder until her vision clouds. “Lena.”
“I’m here. I’m here.” The repetition comes out almost choked, but somehow she recovers. She swallows down the sob. She’s happy. She’s so overwhelmingly happy that she doesn’t know what to do with it. So, she moves onto her knees and shuffles around and presses her forehead to the door. “I love you.” It comes out soft, but she knows without a doubt that Kara heard it. “I love you more than anything else in this universe.” Her voice cracks and betrays her and she knows Kara is itching to rip the door off the hinges and pull her into a tight hug.
“I don’t know how couples do this. How can they stand to be away from each other the night before the wedding?” The desperation in Kara’s tone makes her heart ramp up once again. “I hate it.”
Lena actually laughs and then brings up her palm to place against the door. It’s watery and low, but it’s enough to break her from her daze. “I hate it too. Do you know how hard it is to not open the door and crawl in your lap?” Those thoughts were supposed to stay private, but Lena can’t help herself. She can never help herself around Kara. Her heart blooms every time she sees her or hears her voice.
A groan seeps underneath the door and Lena laughs again — this time less watery. “You can’t say stuff like that, Lena.” The smile appears once again on her face, cheeks hurting as she imagines the pout on her fiancé’s lips. “Do you know how easily I could rip this door off? What if we put on blindfolds? I think the rules mean we can’t see each other. They never said anything about touching. Also, since when do we actually follow the rules? This seems really stupid. I know I get to see you every night for the rest of our lives after tomorrow, but what about now?”
She considers it. She really considers it, her nose crinkling as she tries to recall exactly what Eliza and Alex said. Sam had threatened them both if they tried to break the rules before she was pulled upstairs by the older Danvers sister. They only specified no seeing. She’s sure of that and Lena Luthor is rarely wrong about anything. “Okay.” Before she can continue, she hears Kara scamper up. “Wait. Sit back down. We need rules. I know you.”
She hears shuffling and then a muffled “fine”. Another sigh before she clears her throat. “Okay, what are the rules? I want to feel you already.”
Heat pools in Lena’s belly when Kara says it. It coils tightly in her belly and she swears she might die here on the Danvers’ study floor with her fingers curled into tight fists. She exhales and feels the way her cheeks burn hotly in the dark room. She swallows and finally her tongue doesn’t feel so thick. “No peeking. No using your x-ray vision. It’s not fair. If I can’t see you, then you can’t see me. I don’t want to break the rules completely or start off our marriage on the wrong foot.” She’s rambling, hands shaking and suddenly nervous. “Go find a blindfold and I’ll do the same.”
“Hey, Lena? Nothing could ever make our marriage start on the wrong foot. The rules are stupid. Me and you are forever. Quantum entanglement, remember? But I’ll be right back.” Before Lena can respond or bask in the warmth of Kara’s words, she’s gone at super speed. She loves the way her personal hero can go from sincere to excited puppy in one second flat.
Lena moves to turn on the small lamp on the desk in the corner of the room. She searches until she finds the Supergirl t-shirt Alex got her almost two years ago. Kara steals it regularly so her scent still lingers on it. Bringing it to her face, she inhales deeply and warmth fills her entire body. Kara is her center. She elevates Lena, never takes away or shadows her. She may be Supergirl, but Lena never feels less than. Not anymore.
“If you’re done smelling my clothes, maybe you can come and open this door. I’m ready and I’m not sure how much longer I can stand out here patiently.” She almost startles, but instead finds herself laughing as she ties the shirt snuggly around her head. Pushing the shirt over her eyes to make sure she can’t cheat, she blindly makes her way towards the door. Her fingers struggle to find the doorknob. “A little down and to the left. And no, I won’t cheat. I’m only helping.”
She follows the guidance and twists the door open and relief floods her body. It knows she’s in the presence of the sun, the love of her life. With a step forward, she immediately presses herself against Kara and sighs in relief. Her arms slip around her waist as she lays her head on her shoulder, her lips ghosting across warm skin. She knows she’s in the perfect spot when Kara sucks in a breath and loops her arms around Lena tightly. Her lips skim across the brunette’s temple.
The arms around Kara’s body loosen, until she’s clutching the oversized t-shirt she’s wearing for bed. Lena muses that it’s one of her NASA or MIT shirts that her girlfriend seems to prefer. “I missed you.” It comes out needy and Lena doesn’t care. She can’t care with the way Kara’s wrapped around her like a safety blanket. “I know it’s only been a few hours, but fuck.”
The curse earns a soft laugh from Kara. Her fingers tilt Lena’s face up so she can kiss over the blindfold over both eyes, then her nose and each cheek. “Watch that mouth, Ms. Luthor. What would people say?” The words are whispered against the shell of her ear and she feels that lick of heat in her stomach again.
“Shut up.” The response is airy and light. Almost as if laughter is ready to bubble up at any moment. With Kara around, it’s never too far away. “Are you going to kiss me or are we saving that for the wedding?” She allows one hand to drop Kara’s shirt and move to cradle the side of her face. Her skin is warm like always. Her fingers curl against the blonde’s jaw and her heart starts hammering against her ribcage. This is love, Lena thinks as a smile worms its way back on her lips.
Kara doesn’t hesitate, not when it comes to kissing Lena. She’s everywhere and nowhere. All her focus is pulled from the rest of the world until all she can feel, smell, hear is Lena. Lena Luthor consumes her in the best way possible and she knows she could never tell her no, not really. If her wife asks for the world, Kara would find a way to give it to her. But her girlfriend doesn’t want the world, she wants a kiss. She may be Kryptonian under a yellow sun, but she’s weak for this woman. It makes her happier than anything else she’s ever experienced and she cries when she watches videos of otters holding hands.
Finally, their lips touch and Kara feels lightheaded. Lena’s grip on her shirt is rough as she tries to tug the blonde tighter to her. It’s a little desperate and not as chaste as it will be tomorrow in the sand. But it doesn’t matter. It’s messy, all tongue and teeth and want and it’s perfectly them. It’s raw and real. Lips swollen as they try to stay as close together as they can.
A tiny moan slips out from one of them, it doesn’t matter who, but it’s enough for them to pull apart. Lena immediately trails kisses down Kara’s jaw until she’s snug under her chin. Her lips never stop. Her teeth scrape past her girlfriend’s pulse point until all she can hear is both of their hearts thundering mixed with heavy breathing. She licks at the skin under her teeth. She knows a mark won’t stay. They never do on the Kryptonian’s skin, but it doesn’t stop Lena from trying.
A few seconds later, she pulls away and sucks huge gulps of air into her lungs. She rises up on her tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to the side of Kara’s mouth. “Sorry, I got a little carried away.” Her cheeks flush a bright pink and she’s glad Kara can’t see her. “I go a little crazy when you’re close.” She whispers it soft enough so only Kara can hear.
Without any warning, Kara picks her up and cradles her tightly to her body before she slides against the wall outside of the study. She curls Lena to her body until they’re a tangled mess of limbs on the floor. “Never apologize for doing that. Ever. I happen to like it because I feel the same way. You should know that by now.”
Lena’s breathless. She should be used to it by now — the way Kara lifts her as if she weighs nothing or how she says the most lovely things as if it’s common sense. Not saying a word, she moves to cuddle into her girlfriend. She finds her favorite spot, head on Kara’s shoulder with half her face buried into her neck. It’s always so warm and inviting. She knows if she’s not careful, she’ll be asleep in a few minutes. Usually, that’s a good sign, but tonight she wants to stay up for a little longer in peace with her almost wife.
The rest of the world doesn’t matter now. Not like it usually does unless there’s a Supergirl emergency. But the night before their wedding, Supergirl’s off duty. It’s just Kara and Lena and the waves lapping at the sand outside. Upstairs, everyone is asleep or should be. Lena takes the opportunity to nuzzle into Kara’s skin with a hum. Her nose presses into the spot behind the blonde’s ear. “I can’t wait to be your wife.” It comes out almost slurred. Just being in this position with Kara wrapped around her isn’t helping her stay awake. Even as she fights it, she knows it’s a game she’ll lose. “Lena Danvers.” A sleepy smile stretches out lazily on her lips. A name that finally can stand for hope and not despair. “Love you, darling.”
The last statement is half mumbled and Kara knows Lena’s asleep before her mouth has time to close. She knows her girlfriend was fighting it. Sometimes she hates how quickly she falls asleep because all she wants is a few more minutes of just them. It’s a selfish thought, but one she allows herself.
Slipping off her blindfold, she stares at Lena’s face in wonder. Her face is slack and content. Her eyebrows aren’t furrowed together with worry or thinking about the next business meeting. Lena’s at peace in her family home. The first home she’s ever known on Earth. Her throat suddenly feels thick like she can barely swallow. It hurts deep in her chest how much she loves this woman in her arms. The promise she made to her all those years ago on her office couch still stands true. She will always protect Lena Luthor. She will always have her back. And she always make sure she’s worthy of the CEO’s love.
Picking both of them off the ground, Kara makes sure not to jostle her sleeping girlfriend. She can’t hear anyone else moving in the house. It’s still and peaceful. She carries her to the pull out bed and lays her down gently. She takes off Lena’s blindfold and throws it over her shoulder. She kneels beside the bed before allowed her lips to brush against the brunette’s forehead. “I love you, Lena Luthor. You’re going to be my wife and I’ll be yours. Forever..” Her eyes tear up and she lets out a breathless sob. Her lips find the scar on the outside of Lena’s eye. She pulls away shaking slightly. “I know I cheated, but it was so worth it to see you peaceful.”
She swallows the lump in her throat. Better to save her tears for tomorrow. Lingering by the desk, she shuts the lights off and listens to the waves crashing into the shore for a few moments. Her eyes never leave her girlfriend’s sleeping form. She knows tomorrow is only the beginning of her life — their lives together.
Closing the door quietly, she makes her way back up the stairs. Tomorrow they’ll exchange rings and bracelets in front of their friends and family. Tonight, Kara is going to curl around her pillow and pretend it’s Lena until she falls asleep for the last time without a wife. Tomorrow the world changes for the better.