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Pike wasn’t at her place. For that, Lisbon was relieved. Even so, her hands shook as she dialled a number that was all too familiar for her. There may have been many miles between them – too many, if she was completely frank with herself – but that didn’t stop Grace Van Pelt from being one of her nearest and dearest friends. Besides, Grace had always been far better with this romantic crap than she ever was. Lisbon knew that if anyone could talk to her about her dilemma of a love life, then it was Grace.
She snorted derisively as she dropped her cell phone back down on the table. It was ridiculous. She was stalling at calling a friend to discuss something entirely natural. Grace would want an update; she would be thrilled to hear from her. Besides, Lisbon also wanted to hear about Maddie and Ben. As Maddie’s godmother, Lisbon took her role in Madeline Rigsby’s life very seriously; she just didn’t see any of them enough.
But, since when had her life been all about men and romance? Since when had she allowed them to take so much control over her life? And even now, being left to make a decision, it still didn’t feel like it was really hers to make. Once upon a time, her life had revolved around her job. She had been Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon, of the CBI. The job had meant everything to her. She had always made excuses about not having time to meet men, to find someone who loved her for who she was, not what she represented. Now, she was beginning to wonder if it had been far simpler to live that way anyway. Was any of this heartache really worth it?
In many ways, she just wanted out of this game. She just wanted to be back in control of her life again. Was that really too much to ask?
Unexpectedly, her cell phone started to vibrate. It shook its way across the table and Lisbon quickly scooped it up. When she saw who was calling, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Grace,” she said clearly and a smile erupted across her face. “I was about to call you.”
“Hi, Boss,” Grace replied and Lisbon groaned.
“Grace, I’m not your boss any more. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“I know, I know. It’s just . . .“ Van Pelt let out a heavy sigh. “Wayne always refers to you as ‘Boss’. You know that, right? It just rubs off on me.”
Lisbon knew all too well. Grace Van Pelt and Wayne Rigsby’s story was practically one of second chances and happy endings. She loved them both dearly and couldn’t have been happier with the fact that they were now settled and living with the family they had both always craved. They deserved it, especially after everything they’d been through. Lisbon closed her eyes, remembering Rigsby full of drugs and in terrible pain after nearly dying. That had almost become a loss too far for any of them. It was a stark reminder of the risks they put themselves through just to do their jobs.
But, Van Pelt sounded happy. That was the most important thing. And, unless she was very much mistaken, Lisbon suspected that she had some news for her as well. That was good. She had something to talk about too. And, by calling her, Grace had automatically given Lisbon no excuse not to talk to her. She couldn’t delay it any more, not like so many other things in her life of late.
“I’m sorry to disturb you so late at night; Wayne told me to just e-mail you, but I just couldn’t wait.”
“No, it’s fine,” Lisbon assured her. “It’s good to catch up. What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing big, but Maddie, she took her first steps today.” The pride was obvious in Grace’s voice. Lisbon could just imagine the wide smile, the twinkle in her eye, and the flush of red in her cheeks. God, it had been too long since she had seen them last. They hadn’t even been able to meet up since Rigsby’s shooting. Lisbon knew he was well on the way to recovery; he was making leaps and bounds with his physiotherapy. But, being told over the phone or via text message just wasn’t the same as being able to give someone a hug and congratulate them eye to eye.
This was just another one of those situations. For so long, Lisbon had fiercely denied that she missed the CBI and all that it entailed. But, that was a lie. She did miss some aspects dreadfully. As much as she had grown to like and respect Abbott, Fischer and Wiley, it just wasn’t family. It just wasn’t home.
“No, that’s huge. I’m glad you called. How are you all doing?”
“Great, great,” Grace replied. “The business is going from strength to strength, the kids are doing so well and Wayne’s physiotherapist is amazed at his progress.”
“And you, what about you?” Lisbon pushed. She knew she was just delaying talking about herself, but she wasn’t concerned about that. It had taken her long enough to decide about DC; it didn’t matter if she took a little longer to update Grace on her own life.
“Me? I’m fine. I’m more interested in you. What’s going on with you and this Marcus?”
Lisbon froze. She had spoken, albeit briefly, to Grace about Marcus Pike in the past. She hadn’t said much; she’d just deemed it unimportant, a distraction. But recently, that distraction had got bigger and bigger. Now, she was on the verge of turning her entire life upside down just to be with him. But, even having made a decision, it still felt like there was a war going on in her mind.
“That? It’s good. I’m, er, I’m moving to DC. To be with him.” The words just slipped out. She hadn’t even gathered the courage to tell Jane yet.
“What?” Grace was audibly surprised. Then again, Grace hadn’t been here, in Texas, to witness the developments for herself. Of course it would appear to have come out of the left field to Grace. Lisbon swore she could also hear Rigsby in the background, telling his wife to be a little quieter. Maddie was probably asleep. The last thing the little girl needed was to be woken up by her mother.
“He proposed too,” Lisbon added lightly, almost as if it were a mere aside.
She still hadn’t quite come to terms with the idea of marrying Marcus Pike. It just seemed too huge. It was one thing to take the chance on the relationship, even if it did involve relocating. But marriage? Lisbon had never once imagined herself getting married. It had always seemed like too much to her; like it would tie her down, would ruin whatever it was she had with somebody. Marcus knew what it was like to be married; he was already a divorcee. What would she do if they ended up going down the same route? She had witnessed the end of too many marriages, seen too many people come out of them broken. Too many people had been murdered to end a marriage, or desolate after their significant other had passed away. She didn’t want to be one of those people. It just seemed safer to keep to herself.
But she was already turning her life upside down, just to be with him. What difference would adding marriage make after all that?
“Wow, that’s. . . That’s huge.” Grace fell silent for a moment. Lisbon didn’t speak; she didn’t know what to say. “Have you told Jane, yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I. . . I don’t know. I just. . .”
“It’s hard?” Grace offered and Lisbon nodded. Of course it was hard. She had only moved to Texas in the first place to work with Jane, and now she was practically abandoning him. Jane had left her so many times and each time, she had been more than a little bit heartbroken. Now, she was just doing exactly the same thing to him.
But Jane was just a friend. He didn’t dictate what decisions she made with her life. Or at least, he shouldn’t have any dictation over it. Lisbon ran a hand through her hair. Why was she so worried about how Jane would take this, anyway?
It said a lot that Grace’s first question wasn’t ‘did you accept?’ or ‘how did he propose?’ or anything like that, but what Jane’s reaction would be.
Lisbon had spent so long denying whatever it was she felt for Jane. He had always been a bit broken. If she was honest with herself, she was a bit broken too. That was why they made such a good team. They sort of, kind of, fixed one another. Besides, he hadn’t once objected to Pike. All he said that he wanted her to be happy, that she deserved to be happy. If their relationship was honestly, really, something more than just friendship, then surely he would have said something? Instead, he had practically encouraged her.
“Teresa,” Grace said gently, breaking Lisbon out of her reverie. “You need to speak to him.”
“How can I? How do I phrase it, what do I say?”
“Hmm.” Lisbon stared at her mantelpiece. There was a picture from the old days, when they were all together. It was from before Red John, before Jane had gotten his revenge. Still, they all looked happy. They’d closed a major case, and the news had wanted to cover it. It reminded her of good times. Grace continued speaking, “It sounds like you don’t really know if you’re making the right decision. About moving to DC I mean, never mind getting married. Like you’re at war with yourself or something.”
“When did you get so wise, Grace?” Lisbon joked.
“Look, you just need to think about what you want. Don’t worry about Jane, don’t worry about Marcus. Just worry about you.”
There was a pitiful cry from the background. “Yeah, thanks Grace,” Lisbon muttered.
“Look, I’ve got to go. Maddie’s restless. Call me soon, yeah? I want to know what you decide.”
“Yeah, course. Take care, Grace. Send my love to Wayne and the kids.”
“You too, look after yourself, Boss.”
The phone clicked off and Lisbon stared at it miserably. She needed somebody to talk it all over with, but she couldn’t help but feel like she had come away from this conversation more confused than ever before.