Chapter Text
Well, if there was one good thing about high school, Rich was pretty sure it could only go uphill from here. Somewhere in his head he settled onto the fact that if someone looked back and said that high school was the height of their existence, it was actually quite pitiful. Then again, he was pretty much the lowest person on the high school totem pole, so what did he know?
For most of Freshman year, Rich survived by keeping his head down and being the invisible person everyone else saw him as. He never spoke unless called on by teachers, never signed up for any kind of activity, ate alone at lunch, and his grades were average enough that no one picked on him for being smart (or dumb).
The worst part of school was the hallways, because he couldn’t be invisible there; not the way he could in classrooms or the cafeteria— though it was also harder to be invisible there. But in the hallway, there was constant rushing and yelling and shoving kids into lockers (often Rich himself). There was a constant of running into people and tripping over his own feet. The hallways were a battleground. In the classrooms Rich was safe.
He was safe to quietly write notes and ignore people whispering to each other and hunch down in his seat to make himself as small as possible so Jake Dillinger wouldn’t notice his totally-not-staring-at-him.
“Someone’s got a crush,” his brother would tease whenever he talked about Jake.
“What are you talking about, Matt? I’m not gay.” was always Rich’s immediate defense.
Matt would roll his eyes and make some kind of stupid joke about the Nile River before leaving to go get some food.
“I’m not gay!” Rich would call after him.
And he wasn’t. He’d had crushes on girls before.
Didn’t stop his eyes from gluing themselves to Jake whenever he saw him.
That’s what he was doing today. Staring at Jake from across the cafeteria and trying to ignore the way his cheeks were heating up.
Jake was sitting at the silently dubbed ‘Popular Table’ talking to Dustin Kropp while Chloe Valentine and Brooke Lohst were talking about something else. Jenna Rolan was sitting nearby trying to get a word in anywhere while simultaneously typing anything anyone said into her phone. Such was the pre-established “clique” (the only name for it). From what Rich could tell, it was nearly impossible to break through the barriers and enter the inner circle. That group had been established practically since Kindergarten.
Still, Rich couldn’t help but imagine himself fitting in easily there… Chloe rolling his eyes when he said something clever and she didn’t want to admit it. Brooke adding in some kind of sweet compliment about the way Rich had done his hair. Jenna occasionally looking up and raising her eyebrows when he said something noteworthy. Rich leaning casually into Jake as he talked. Just casually leaning against him. Maybe Jake had an arm around Rich’s shoulders. Maybe he was holding his hand. Maybe Dustin Kropp was sitting at a table off in the corner by himself because he didn’t deserve to be as close to Jake as he was, because maybe Rich was the one who should be sitting there, because maybe Rich was the one who deserved to have rumors made about him and Jake being a couple, because maybe Rich was a little bit jealous.
Rich silently turned away from staring at the table and stopped imagining impossible things.
The next second he was jerked quickly from his lunch and out of the lunchroom.
“Woah, hey!” he yelled, as he was shoved into the area under the staircase to the second floor. When he turned he saw Nicole Baker, one of the most popular seniors. What in the world was she doing? She wasn’t going to hit him, was she?
God, he was so pathetic.
“Shut up, loser.” she snapped. “I can’t let anyone know we’re back here.”
“Why are you—”
“I have a proposition for you.”
“A wha— why are you talking to me?”
“Yeah, you’re probably curious why I’m approaching such a loser.”
“I wath more wondering why you pulled me away my lunch, but thure, whatever.”
Nicole slammed her hand against the wall, successfully getting Rich to back into it. “Don’t be a smart-ass. I’m trying to help you.”
Rich blinked. “Okay, well now I am curiouth. You’ve never tho much ath given any frethman the time of day, why are you trying to ‘help’ me?”
Nicole raised an eyebrow. “You ever heard of a Squip?”
Rich stared at her. “No.” he said eventually. “Wait, did you say Thquip or thquid?”
“Squip, dumbass.” she poked him hard in the chest. “With a ‘p.’ It’s a supercomputer.”
“Uh… what?”
“S.Q.U.I.P. stands for Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. It’s a quantum computer from Japan packaged in a grey oblong pill. The computer part implants itself in your brain and it tells you what to do. It helps you be cool, and it helps you rise in the social statuses. You go to the back of the Payless at the mall give the guy $400. He’ll give you one.”
Rich had been smiling and nodding for the past minute. “Okay, okay, yeth. Look, I jutht remembered I have thomwhere to be, tho…”
“I’m serious. Think about it.” Nicole said as he was leaving. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to be trying to stop him. “Oh, and sweetie?”
Rich stopped, because it was the safer option, and turned.
“That ‘lithp’ is adorable.”
Rich’s hand covered his mouth as his face went bright red. Nicole walked past him. “Think about it, okay?” she said, giving him a condescending pat on the shoulder before walking back into the lunchroom.
…
“That’s weird.”
“Thank you, Captain Obviouth.” Rich bit his tongue uncomfortably, as if that could get rid of his lisp— he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since that afternoon.
“You should, like, call the police. It sounds like that girl needs mental help, or something.” Matt said.
“I’m not gonna call the polithe. If I did, I’d get my ath handed to me by thome angry friend of herth.” Rich spun his remote around and barely avoided the giant fireball in the middle of Bowser’s Castle (yes, he was playing Mario Kart, sue him). “Bethideth… what if thhe wathn’t lying?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… it thounds kind of amazing, doethen’t it? Thomeone in your head telling you what to do? You’d never have to dethide for yourthelf. You’d jutht know.” It certainly sounded like it would make his life easier. Maybe it would give him a chance with Jake Dillinger.
All of a sudden, Matt paused the game, and Rich glanced over in surprise.
“Rich… dude, no.”
“Huh?”
“Why would you want someone telling you what to do all the time? That sounds… that sounds awful.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Rich, you’re great just the way you are. You don’t need something telling you what to do all the time and changing things about you. You don’t need to change.”
“The thocial hierarchy doethn’t theem to think tho.” Rich pointed out, crossing his arms.
“Rich, seriously. Don’t worry about it. Someday you’re gonna look back and high school isn’t gonna matter anymore. Who cares what other people think?”
“I care, Matt! I get how you don’t, you leave next year! Then you’ll go to college and get away from Dad and probably get hoardth of friendth and a girlfriend and you won’t have to look back! I have another three yearth in thith hellhole and I have thith thupid fucking lithp and—”
Matt stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Rich.” he said. “First of all, just because I’m leaving for college next year doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you. I will never do that. Second, your lisp is not stupid. And third—” he cut off Rich’s protesting about the lisp— “the last three years of high school don’t have to be horrible if you make some friends. Look for some like-minded people.”
“Like-minded people?”
“You cannot be the only person at your school who likes the things you like. Rich, I would be astounded if you couldn’t at least find another person who likes video games.”
“I don’t know…” Rich muttered.
“Tell you what. You talk to someone during lunch tomorrow, you initiate conversation, and I’ll give you 50 bucks.”
“What— are you trying to bribe me into making friendth?”
“Since all other methods have come to fail.” Matt held out his hands.
Rich hesitated… and then shook his hand.
Matt was leaving soon anyway, he had to learn how to stand on his own two legs. Some friends would be a good place to start.
…
The next morning, Rich rolled out of bed far too late. Matt came to his door holding a banana and a water bottle full of coffee as Rich was trying to get dressed as quietly as possible so as not to wake up their father.
He ended up grabbing his favorite sweater and a pair of jeans and skipping brushing his teeth in order to not have deal with the banana tasting like toothpaste.
Both Matt and him rode the bus to school. Their father didn’t like it when they took his car, despite the fact that he hardly ever used it himself.
Matt waved goodbye (with a reminder about their $50 bet) as he disappeared off to his first class, and that was pretty much the last time Rich would see him until that afternoon. Their schedules, as a senior and a freshman, did not really cross.
Rich went to his locker to get his things for English, and by the time he got to the class he could already tell it was going to be a long day. There was a sub at the front of the room, and they must have been having a worse day than Rich, because he could practically feel the disgust from having to be there rolling off of him. Most likely he was about to take all of his anger out on the students in front of him.
And… he actually turned out to be wrong. The sub was probably pissed at something, but all he did during the class was hand out a couple worksheets that they were supposed to use to analyze the chapters they’d just read and spend the entire time brooding at his desk.
Rich actually loved English, and he did a little bit of writing of his own— short stories and poems that he would ever show anyone else, of course. Even Matt hadn’t actually seen any. But right now they were reading ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ and Rich was enjoying analyzing the heck out of it. They’d finished it last week, and Rich had cried at the ending— and he would take that to his grave.
The bell rang, and Rich moved from his favorite class to his 2nd favorite—P.E. And it absolutely was not his 2nd favorite because he got to see Jake Dillinger get all hot and sweaty. Nope, that absolutely was not the reason at all.
By the time he got out of P.E., Rich was already hungry, but he still had to sit through Algebra and Chemistry.
Needless to say, by lunchtime Rich was starving. He didn’t even remember the bet he’d made with Matt until he spotted him walking out of the lunchroom as he was going in. Matt raised his eyebrows expectantly, Rich realized what he was expecting, and just like that, Rich’s appetite was gone.
He got his tray of barely-food and stopped walking at the end of the line. Some kid grumbled in annoyance and swerved around him, and Rich moved to the side before returning his gaze to the lunchroom.
Like-minded people. Okay.
Eventually his gaze was drawn to two people sitting in the back of the room at a table by themselves. One was wearing a striped shirt and the other a bright red hoodie. Rich remembered seeing them around before. He thought they were in his class. They mainly caught his eye because they were playing with what looked like a multiplayer DS game. They both seemed pretty into it.
Well, they were two other people who liked video games.
Rich started to make his way over to them, but just as he was about halfway there, someone slammed into him from the opposite side, and that sent him to the floor.
“Hey!” Rich called on instinct. He turned to glare at them and— oh no.
“Sorry, didn’t see you there.” Dustin Kropp said.
“Yeah man, you’re kinda hard to notice.” Jake said, as they both moved casually around Rich and towards their table.
Something in Rich’s chest was stabbing him. Was this what a breaking heart felt like?
The people around Rich were staring, but the people he had been heading towards at the back table hadn’t even looked up. Right. Because he was hard to notice. After a couple seconds everyone went back to their lunch. They probably wouldn’t even remember this moment by next period. Jake certainly wouldn’t. Because he was just another invisible loser who was hard to notice.
Rich jumped up and ran out of the room before he had a full-on breakdown in the middle of the cafeteria.
He found himself in the same stairway from yesterday, the place he had talked to Nicole Baker. And son of a gun, there she was again.
She turned around when she heard Rich’s footsteps and raised her eyebrows when she saw who it was. “Well?”
Rich would never be noticed like this. He would float like a ghost through high school and slip through the cracks of college, probably ending up in a job in a cubicle where he would spend his days longing for something more before retiring at 70 and dying alone in his sleep— if he even made it that long before doing the job himself.
But Nicole said that didn’t have to be his future. She said he could be someone cool, someone who had a chance with people like Jake Dillinger, someone people noticed. Someone who would never be hard to notice again.
Who was to say he didn’t deserve to have everything about him changed if everything about him was this awful?
Rich stepped further into the stairway.
“How much did you thay they cotht?”