Chapter Text
By no means did Wei Wuxian think he was cut out for the pedagogic life; even the thought of becoming nearly as pedantic as Lan Qiren caused a cold shudder to travel down his spine.
However, he was a considerate senior, and seeing his beloved juniors struggle so much really did tug on his heartstrings. After all, who wouldn’t feel some compassion for sheltered teenagers who barely knew how to hug?
As a de facto parent of Lan Sizhui (star pupil and awkward radish extraordinaire) and the only living uncle of Jin Ling who had any experience in this field, Wei Ying knew that the burden fell to him to help initiate them into the world of romance and physical intimacy.
Oh, he could imagine it already- Jin Ling’s cheeks would be red as apples as he fumed, stomped and threw an embarrassed tantrum in protest, whereas Lan Sizhui would be mortified into unresponsiveness before snapping back to attention and trying everything in his power to stop him. The only pupil who might be on board initially would be Lan Jingyi, bless his little heart. Heavens knew who else would want to learn, but hey, Wei Wuxian was never one to turn away an eager mind.
Well. There was a saying that children would come to see that everything their parents did was out of love, even the things they didn’t like in the moment. And Wei Wuxian was determined to dish out these crucial tidbits of information so that they can avoid so many pitfalls that he himself had tumbled head-first into.
With this goal in mind, Wei Ying set to work diligently, willingly holing up in the Library Pavilion to start developing lesson plans and a syllabus.
-
The sight of the Yiling Patriarch willingly working was a rarity indeed. The residents of Cloud Recesses, young and old, all whispered and speculated as to what mischief he was up to this time. Knowing his track record, there was no way this would end well, but they trusted Hanguang-jun to keep him in check…for the most part.
The younger Jade of Lan happened to have been away for the day on some official business whilst his elder brother was still recuperating. Even if quite a bit of time had passed since the fateful events with Jin Guangyao, the light in Lan Xichen’s eyes had yet to return nearly as bright as they were prior to everything falling to pieces.
It was an unspoken agreement amongst everybody that anything related to his deceased sworn brothers should not be addressed until Zewu-jun himself chose to. Until then, the most they could do without unintentionally tearing open old wounds was to try and make his duties lighter without seeming condescending.
It was from one such diplomatic meeting that Lan Wangji returned to Cloud Recesses, the setting sun bathing the quiet expanse in a warm orange glow. For once, the “loud noises” that drove Lan Qiren’s blood pressure up daily were absent, making Lan Zhan pause.
It felt much too quiet.
Before his mind could jump to unwanted conclusions and throw his senses into a panic, a whispered shred of passing gossip reached his ears.
Is Wei Wuxian still in the Library Pavilion?
I don’t know what he’s up to and I kind of don’t want to find out.
Golden eyes flicked over to the two guilty parties, who immediately froze and paled when they noticed they caught Hanguang-jun’s attention.
“Gossiping is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” he said, simple but stern in its succinctness.
Leaving the flustered and embarrassed rumormongers to their profuse apologies, Lan Wangji instead breezed past without a second glance. He had a destination now; the mystery about what Wei Ying was doing, however, remained.
Lan Zhan managed to approach Wei Ying in the Library Pavilion without being spotted- the combination of light footsteps that some swore was gliding, with just how focused the necromancer was, made for what essentially was a jumpscare.
“Ack! Lan Zhan, you nearly scared my soul out of my body!!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed breathlessly, having jumped back in a startle. He brought a hand to his chest and exhaled shakily before casting an accusing pout to his husband…which was returned with a decidedly unamused stare.
“Not funny. You’re fine,” was Lan Wangji’s laconic response.
Tch. No sympathy whatsoever, I see.
Wei Wuxian stuck out his tongue childishly, but returned to the stack of papers before him in short order.
Seeing Lan Wangji’s inquisitive tilt of the head, he grinned, gesturing grandly to the documents.
“Lan Zhan, you ought to be proud of me. I worked really hard today! I wrote all these lesson plans, by myself, because the pupils of Gusu Lan should have a more comprehensive education than what they are receiving right now,” he explained, sliding one sheet out and handing it to his partner to read.
Lan Wangji quickly read through the document before spreading the rest of the papers on the table to read as well.
“It’s missing something.”
Wei Wuxian’s eyebrow rose as his face scrunched in confusion.
“Eh? What is it missing? Do you have any ideas to add?” he asked, pointing to the brush and a clean sheet of paper.
Nodding, the esteemed Hanguang-jun sat down, pulled the once-reviled Yiling Patriarch into his lap, and began to write.
-
“….you WHAT?! SEXUAL EDUCATION?!” came the thunderous roar, outraged enough to make even the rock faces cringe in fear.
Wei Wuxian cringed too, for he was but a human (despite what rumors led people to believe) and Lan Qiren’s fury was…something. Phew. Even Lan Wangji was of little help; the man silently bore the seismic wave of rage but was not inclined to stand up to it for something like this.
“Teacher, please. Hear me out,” Wei Wuxian pled from his respectful kneel on the ground. Once again, he presented the sheaf of papers to the man above him, expression as contrite as he could make it.
Was he actually sorry? Of course not. But he was a man on a mission, and for the greater good, he would do what it takes.
“Your teaching has made Gusu Lan into the esteemed institution it is today for young cultivators, and I have nothing but admiration for how many talented students you have imparted wisdom to and how accomplished they all have become,” he cajoled, tone appropriately deferential.
“However, is it not the wish of every teacher to give the best education they can for their students? And was it not you that taught me that no matter how practiced one becomes, there is always room for improvement? I am simply trying to build upon the foundations you laid.”
Lan Qiren was a hard nut to crack, even under the most honeyed of words, but at least he had stopped hollering and the veins in his neck had receded. Wei Ying noted this as progress and chose to continue onwards.
“And as such, I simply want to supplement the classes that the students are currently receiving. While their book knowledge is impeccable and field practice is admirable, I think more practical wisdom would benefit them greatly,” he concluded.
Lan Wangji took this as his cue to back his spouse up and lend his support, for that was his purpose in accompanying Wei Ying to Lan Qiren’s room in the first place. Amber eyes glittered with determination as he, too, addressed his uncle.
“En.”
…did he. Just.
If Wei Wuxian wasn’t busy trying to convince Lan Qiren to approve the request at hand, he would have throttled his husband. How on Earth was that remotely helpful??!
But of course, somehow it was. Lan Qiren regarded the pair, stroking his goatee in contemplation. As much as he hated to admit it, Wei Wuxian had a point. While Lan Wangji’s record on rational judgments when it came to Wei Ying was rather abysmal, Lan Qiren was still sure that he was capable of stopping the troublemaker should things begin to go too far.
“Just give me five lessons! That’s all I ask of you. One lesson a week, five weeks, that's it!” Wei Ying pushed, trying his best salesman voice. The wellbeing, the future, of the juniors depended on this!
“…very well. I expect no more than five lessons, and I require Hanguang-jun to accompany and supervise you for every single one of them. Students will be able to opt out should they choose to, and you are under no circumstances allowed to encourage anything morally degenerate,” he relented with a huff. While his expression still spoke volumes of his distrust (and for good reason), he had given them the permission in the end after all. One might say old age was making him soft, but one might also want to not get kicked out of Cloud Recesses.
“Thank you, Teacher! I won’t waste this opportunity!” Wei Ying exclaimed ecstatically, springing up from his kneel immediately. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, let’s go tell the juniors right now!”
He was steadied by a hand on his waist from his husband, a hand that caused Lan Qiren’s eyebrow to twitch once more. Lan Zhan turned to face his uncle, who was beginning to doubt his decision more and more by the second, but managed to stun the elder Lan into complacency.
“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said softly, but the low volume made the words no less ardent. With a small bow of gratitude, Lan Wangji took his leave with Wei Wuxian and his papers while his uncle was still processing the rare show of emotion.
However, if Lan Qiren had even skimmed through the contents of the papers, he would have shot down the idea immediately. He (wrongly) assumed that all that would be covered was basic human biology concerning procreation.
Too late now. He just greenlit a course with some very hands on, explicit lessons.