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He saw the old photo in Pickles' hands and there it was. That familiar heat creeping through his face and deep down in his belly. It felt like home, like sleeping in his old bed again.
"Whoa...Pickles...is that YOU?!"
He knew the crack in his voice, the uncharacteristic, almost high pitch (his voice could never get really high even when he tried), was probably giving him away. Which sucked because he and Pickles weren't the only ones in the living room right now. But Skwisgaar was practicing on the couch and Murderface was cursing at the video game he was currently playing so at least there wasn't an audience.
Pickles shrugged. "Well...yeeah," he said, grinning up at Nathan much the way he had in the photo. "I kinda assumed you knew."
Nathan just shrugged in return, taking a drink of his beer. He felt like chugging it. Actually he felt like chugging a tequila, but that would put an end to the calm night they were having really fucking quick.
Somehow, as always, Pickles seemed to know when Nathan was getting anxious and tense, and a joint was lit and passed to him. Nathan nodded his thanks and smoked, letting himself drift away in memories...
The first time he'd heard Snakes n' Barrels he was a freshman in high school and had just joined the JV football team. Practice had just ended, and he was standing in the shower trying to just keep away from everyone else when he heard a burst of music coming from some other kid's boombox out by the lockers.
At first he cringed, fighting back a growl at the poppy, repetitive riffs and garbage can drum fills. Yeesh. Whoever was blasting this crap needed headphones, or something. But then the singer came in, and...
He didn't know what he was feeling, could never put it into words, but whoever that singer was, his voice...it was strong but playful, harsh and masculine yet gentle and feminine. Like a hot MILF who would get into a knife fight to protect her kids and then come home and bake cookies and read them their favorite bedtime stories.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" he whispered. He was thinking too much and that was dangerous. He shut off the water, grabbing a towel and grudgingly going to his locker to dry off and get dressed.
Outside, a few of the guys Nathan actually had stuff in common with were razzing the guy with the boombox. "Man, will you please turn that gay shit off?" Jeremy practically whined over the music.
Austin shrugged. "What's gay about it? It's just Snakes n' Barrels, they're pretty cool! Besides, they sing about girls all the time so how can they be gay?"
"Naw, dude, they sing and dress like chicks," Jimmy said. "It don't make sense. If you're gonna sing about nailin' chicks you wanna at least act like a man while you're doin' it."
"Hey Nathan, you're the music expert, what do you think?" Austin asked as Nathan quickly slipped on boxers, then jeans.
"Never heard of 'em," he grunted. Well it wasn't a lie. He hadn't heard of them, until now.
Austin waited until the other guys left, then came over to Nathan and gave him the cassette tape.
"What's this for?"
Austin rolled his eyes. "Explosion, you're a brutal fucking quarterback but man you're stupid. And obvious. I can tell you like the music. Don't let those other guys get to you. Just listen to the tape because you like it." And he left. Nathan stared at the tape in his hand for a long time before heading home.
He listened to it on repeat that night and every night for weeks throughout football season. The fast- paced songs got him through practices and games and the ballads lulled him to sleep at night, staving off most of his usual nightmares.
He got a couple more of their tapes and would sometimes watch their music videos when they came on TV. Thank God he had a TV in his room. Who knew what his dad would say if he saw them.
Or if he knew how much Nathan liked it.
Eventually he grew out of the obsession, plunged headlong into death metal and joined his first band. Sn'B was a memory but a fond one.
"So do you have any of your old albums laying around?" he asked Pickles.
"I guess so...why?"
"I dunno...just in case I ever want to check out what your old band was like back then...before I heard of you..."
Pickles couldn't help but smile. "Nathan...you can listen to 'em whenever you want."
"Cool," he said, trying to ignore the fact that his face was on fire. Pickles just smirked and got up to dig through his messy closet.