Chapter Text
It was the cold that drove him away at first.
Even though the final battle had taken place in May, Harry just couldn't shake the chill that had settled into his bones when Voldemort fell. No matter how many clothes he wore, how high the fire was stoked by Kreacher, he was always shivering.
He attended funerals and trials, pleaded with the Wizengamot for leniency in several cases. Especially when he felt that the judgement was meant to be a statement more than a just punishment. But he always he felt cold.
It got worse when Ginny tried to resume their pre-war relationship. She was so beautiful and hopeful for the future, but he was unable to return her feelings He wanted to rejoice in her faithfulness, but all he felt was numb. There was nothing to warm him and he realised that it would be unfair to have her wait for something that might never return.
So, he tried to let her go gently, feeling overwhelmed by her tears, and he tried to explain it as best as he could. But she didn’t understand the chill that had settled into his very core.
With the arrival of autumn and even more cold and wetness, he made an impulsive decision. He never wanted to feel cold again, so he packed a few clothes, and send Kreacher to Hogwarts for company. Of course the old elf grumbled about being left behind, but Harry allowed him to check up on Grimmauld Place at least once a month. So the house would not fall in more disarray during his absence, but he still didn't have to fear that Kreacher would die of loneliness either.
Hermione and Ron tried to dissuade him of course. They could not understand why he wanted to get away. But for once he knew that he needed to do this entirely on his own. Hermione returned to Hogwarts for the repeat of the seventh year, and Ron started to work with George in the joke shop. They were at home and secure in their choices.
Harry felt adrift and cold. So he picked the first warm place that came to mind and took off in high hopes that he would feel warm again..
But no matter where he went, the cold followed him. He would spend a few weeks in one place but then the cold would creep up on him again and he had to start his search all over again.