Chapter Text
“jae? are you alright?” younghyun worriedly asks jaehyung. jaehyung, who is awkwardly swirling the straw of his too-cold strawberry milkshake (with almond milk).
a part of jaehyung wishes that he never asked. because, since younghyun had asked, he’s forced to tear his gaze from the drink in his hands to look at younghyun. to respond to his question. and doing so would mean facing him. facing his obvious crush on younghyun; meaning that jaehyung would meet his eyes and would therefore end up drowning in his dark orbs and obviously, painfully be reminded of his pitiful, very much hopeless and unrequited crush on his best friend of 15 years. it would remind him of how the love reflected in younghyun’s eyes for him was purely platonic, and nothing more. the only love in them was for the one currently glued to his arm, as they all sat together in a cozy cafe a stone’s throw away from campus.
“i’m fi-“ jaehyung forces out, mouth suddenly dry. the words catch in his throat and refuse to spill past his lips.
his lips quirk up in a pained smile as the sad realisation hits him:
no. i can’t lie to myself. lie to younghyun.
“i’m just having a splitting headache right now. i’m really sorry, but i think i need to head back to my dorm to rest.”
“...oh! do you want me to walk you back-“
“no! it’s fine!” the scraping noise of his chair being pushed back slices the air, and it stills younghyun’s movement of standing up. the outstretched hand lightly holding onto jaehyung’s flannel falls back to younghyun’s side. “i’m so sorry that i have to go like this when i finally got to meet you both! i’ll meet you guys... next time.”
jaehyung barely lingers long enough to politely acknowledge the nod and kind “take care!” of the person wrapped around younghyun to brisk-walk out of the cafe.
jaehyung misses younghyun’s eyes following him as he exits the cafe, and how it continues to remain fixated on the door even after he’s long gone. he also misses how younghyun detangles the pair of arms looped around his waist off him before standing up and getting out of his seat.
i’m in love with my best friend. kang younghyun . the thought keeps circling around in jaehyung’s mind as he anxiously hurries his way down the sidewalk as quickly as he can. without looking like a freak, obviously, but it’s difficult, when his cheeks are ablaze and he’s sure that whoever spares a glance would surely know of his secret (actually, doesn't wonpil know about it since he's always asking me??) - his secret that he loves his best friend, kang younghyun.
being in the cafe with him earlier was almost suffocating to jaehyung. since when had he fallen for his best friend?
reaching his dorm, jaehyung quickly fished out his keys from his wallet before slotting them into its keyhole. he frantically opens the door and lets himself in, nearly forgetting to lock the door as his back leans against the oakwood door and his legs give out beneath him.
fuck. he, park jaehyung is in love with his bestfriend, kang younghyun.
but he doesn’t love me back.
jaehyung lifts an arm to cover his face and lets out a groan as memories of the two previous nights before overwhelm him.
[11:13]
bribri: jae!!!!!
bribri: jaejaejaeeeeeeee
[11:14]
jaehyungie: ????
jaehyungie: wa
jaehyungie: t
bribri: i’m like in love!!
bribri: [image attached]
bribri: [image attached]
bribri: look at our texts!!
lamely, jaehyung lifts a hand to his chest; his fingers hovering over where his heart would be. he lets out a shaky exhale as he notices that he's trembling.
[11:15]
jaehyungie: ohhh
jaehyungie: is it who i think it is
jaehyungie: like
jaehyungie: the one you kept showing me pics of the other day?
bribri: yeah
bribri: i’m seriously so
bribri: uwu
jaehyungie: aW man!!
jaehyungie: i’m so happy for you!
[11:16]
bribri: [image attached]
bribri: [image attached]
bribri: i’m seriously so happy. and guess what
jaehyungie: ??
bribri: they asked me out
bribri: srsly i’m so
bribri: i don’t know how to say it but i know that this time... this won’t just be some stupid fling
bribri: [image attached]
bribri: [image attached]
the dimly-lit screen of jaehyung’s phone swam out of his focus and he blinked slowly. as his eyes fluttered back into focus, jaehyung noted that the display of his phone is no longer lit up.
[11:18]
bribri: [image attached]
bribri: [image attached]
his phone vibrated in his hands and chimed throughout the room, signalling to jaehyung that he had received a message from his best friend. somehow, he didn’t feel like he could manage to give younghyun a reply.
in one quick motion, jaehyung swiftly chucked his phone onto his bed carelessly.
he had thought that the soft thud his phone makes as it fell onto his pillow had rightfully matched the dull sound resounding in his chest when he had first (not the sad, subsequent few that followed after when jaehyung had cried himself to sleep that night. or the next few after) received younghyun’s message.
perhaps, park jaehyung did actually have a crush on his childhood best friend, kang younghyun. perhaps, he wasn’t a ‘straightie’ like he had always insisted to wonpil. (“snake!” “sure, hyung! but i see the way you look at-“ “shut up, snake!”) perhaps, park jaehyung did indeed have feelings for his best friend, kang younghyun. if not, then why was he feeling like his heart just been ripped right out of his chest? why did it seem like his world had just crumbled under him?
the recollection of the startling clarity of his true feelings pulls jaehyung out of his bittersweet reverie.
but he doesn’t love me back.