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“Nautica, it’s me Skids. Your amica. We danced together, drank together---”
“I know,” Nautica said.
“Walk with me. Don’t you want to be happy?” Skids held out his servo.
Yes, she wanted to be happy. Yes, she wanted to be happy with Skids, but Skids had died. She held his lifeless husk. She had journeyed to Troja Major to bring Skids back but didn’t. Yet here he was; holding out his servo to her, his smile, charming as ever, firmly in place.
Bitterness rose in her intake. Skids had left her. Left her to face the DJD, to carry on with the quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, to go through every cycle alone. Worst of all, he left her with no one to dance with.
“No offense, but I can be happy without you,” she snarked, regretting the words as soon as she said them. Yes, she could be happy without Skids. She had found her happiness again. Found it within herself. She was strong, smart, happy, successful and accomplished, all on her own. Caminus’s and its absurd culture of needing amicas, drove her to be successful on her own, but now. Now she had a new chance with Skids.
In a flash he began to dissolve in a swirl of colors.
“NO!” Nautica cried, lunging towards him.
The swirl retreated, leaving Skids looking confused.
“I---” she stammered, unable to find the words she had longed to say.
Skids stood, bemused smile on his lipplates, waiting.
“I don’t need you to be happy. It was so hard after you died. It took time, but I was happy, am happy again. I want to be happy with you, but---”
“But,” he prompted.
“You left me. How could you leave me like that? We were facing death. I would have rather died fighting beside you, than the way you died.”
Skids optic ridges creased, a frown on his face. “I was hurt when you asked me to be your amica. I loved you so much more than that. You were the very pulse of my spark. I wanted to see you when you woke, be by your side when you fell into recharge. Listen to you when you got into a technical groove. I wanted to dance with you whenever the mood struck.
“You didn’t love me like that. It hurt. It crushed me, actually. But it didn’t lessen the love I felt for you. I settled for being your amica, because at least it was a little of your love. Even if it wasn’t the love I wanted.
“And there was nothing in this universe I wouldn’t have done for you. That is why I did what I did on Necroworld. That is why I intentionally had a spark spasm. I’m not much of a fighter, Nautica. The only way to ensure I could keep you safe was to empower everyone else. I died because of how much I love you. Your life was worth so much more to me than mine.”
“Well, it wasn’t worth it to me!” she yelled, punching his shoulder strut. “Dear Primus, Skids your death was almost the end of me. I didn’t know until that moment. I didn’t know that I loved you as more than my amica. I loved you as my conjux, sparkmate, other half of me.
“And I was so mad at you for so long. Do you know why I stopped the process on Troja Major. You chose to die. You chose to leave me. What was to stop you from leaving me again.” Nautica’s vents heaved with the exertion of her anger, frustration and pain.
“I chose your life.”
Her life. Would she have had the opportunities she did if Skids hadn’t had that spark spasm? Would the DJD and their cohorts have killed them all before Megatron joined the fight? Perhaps she would have joined Skids in the Afterspark that very night.
“What now?” What was now for them. Did she dare hope Skids still felt that same love for her? Could she trust him enough to allow herself to love him as she knew she needed to? Amica would no longer be enough for her. She didn’t need the Matrix to be happy. She didn’t need Caminus to be happy. In truth, she didn’t need Skids to be happy. She wanted Skids to share her happiness.
“I love you, Nautica. I loved you in life. I loved you in death and I love you in the Afterspark. There will never be a time I don’t love you,” Skids said.
“I love you too, Skids. I’m sorry it took your death for me to see just how much,” she said, clinging to his chestplates. A small part of her afraid he would disappear.
“We’ll take it once dance at a time from here on out. Dance with me?” he tilted her helm up to look at him.
“Always.” Skids field, rich with love, wrapped around Nautica. She was happy on her own. Now, one cycle at a time, one dance at a time, she and Skids would make a life of happiness and love together.