Chapter Text
It was seven o’clock on a Sunday night and David was starting to doubt that he was going to live to see the next morning. He paced up and down the living area, occasionally running his hands through his hair and muttering to himself.
Could one have a stress-induced heart attack at twenty-two? Was that a thing?
He really felt like he was about to have one.
Stevie and Twyla watched him from their vantage point on the couch, a concerned look on Twyla’s face, and an amused on on Stevie’s.
Somehow through the chaos of his thoughts David heard the familiar sound of a door unlocking, and then Patrick walked in, dropping his gym bag by the couch and plopping down next to Twlya.
Of course they would all be home to witness this.
“What exactly are we looking at here?” Patrick asked.
Twyla shook her head, “I don’t know, but it seems serious. I’m not convinced he’s breathing.”
“I can hear you,” David snapped as he paused for a second, looking up at them.
“What’s got you so freaked out?” Stevie asked, with a little more amusement in her voice than concern. “I haven’t seen you this bad since one of the twins almost won Project Runway.”
David sighed, and stilled, and he could feel his whole body tensing up. Was this what the beginnings of a heart attack felt like? He felt like it was. “My sister told me today on the phone that I’m incapable of having a healthy, solid relationship.”
“Well,” Stevie said, cocking her head to the side, “she’s not wrong.”
David grimaced. “Thanks so much.”
“I think the longest relationship you’ve had since we met lasted three days,” Twyla added.
“Not helpful, Twy,” David snapped, as he dropped down on the seat across from them. He put his head in his hands, so his next words came out muffled: “So anyway, I got really mad and I told her that I’m in a relationship. A serious relationship. I told her I’m in love .”
“You did what ?” Stevie breathed, incredulous. David looked up. Twyla looked like she was taking it all in stride. Patrick was staring at him, wide eyed.
Love was never a word that David used in relation to any person, and they all knew it.
“I also told them I’m bringing them to my parent’s vow renewal this weekend, so I have six days to find someone.”
“Did she ask for any details?” Stevie could not have looked more thrilled by this development, as she leaned forward in her seat, clasping her hands together, “What is this mystery person like?”
“She didn’t get a chance to ask for details. I just kind of shouted all of that and hung up.”
“So it could be anyone,” Stevie had a scheming look on her face, and David was reminded that even though she was sometimes the worst, she was also sometimes the best. He looked at her, considering, but before he could speak, she raised her hands. “No. Oh, no. No . David, I love you like the completely neurotic older brother that I never had, but hard pass. How about Twy?” She elbowed the girl next to her, raising her eyebrows.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Twyla stated, calmly, giving David a sympathetic look. “I tried doing that for my cousin once a few years back and it didn’t go well. I’m just not a good enough actress, and they also recognized me even with the wig and all the makeup…” she trailed off, lost to her own thoughts.
“I’ll do it,” David’s gaze snapped over to Patrick, who had been weirdly silent during the whole event, until this moment.
(David also felt Stevie’s gaze on him, which wasn’t helpful.)
“Won’t Rachel have a problem with that?” David responded.
“No, we’re not together. We, um, broke up last night,” Patrick’s revelation was met with groans from his three roommates. “ What ? It’s for good this time.”’
In the few years that they had all known each other, Patrick and Rachel had broken and gotten together what felt like a million times. There was no way this was for good.
Rachel was great. But they had never worked well together, for whatever reason. It had never made much sense to David why Patrick kept agreeing to get back together with her.
It was kind of exhausting.
But as much as he would love to blame the drama of his off-and-on relationship with Rachel for his dread at the idea of Patrick doing this for him, there was another tiny flaw in the plan. A minor thing, really.
David had feelings for Patrick that went beyond friendship. And he had had these feelings for quite some time now.
But he couldn’t say no, not because of something he hated admitting to himself, so he said yes.
Well, he said yes in his own way.
“My family’s crazy,” he told Patrick. “Are you sure you want to get yourself into this?”
“I’ve lived with you for almost three years now, I think I can handle it,” Patrick grinned, in his own combination of reassuring and teasing.
He was entirely too attractive.
It was a fair point, honestly. David had met the three of them during his freshman year, when he had embarked on a misguided attempt to be “just another college student” and live the dorm life, only for his parents to buy the biggest apartment they could find in the city just in time for sophomore year. The three of them had bonded that first year, and he offered them the other three rooms just so he wouldn’t be alone, and they had been together ever since.
He was still surprised, sometimes, that they had stuck around this long.
“Okay, well, thanks,” David. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” Patrick smiled, reassuring.
---
Later that night, Stevie found him when he was in the bathroom putting moisturizer on his face.
“You do know this is a terrible idea, right?”
She was the only one who knew about his out-of-control crush, and he had never regretted confiding in her more than he did in this moment.
“Yes, obviously this is a horrible idea,” he agreed, irritated. “I don’t even know where I’m going to begin to act through being in a relationship with someone who I’m not in a relationship with, who I want to be in a relationship with, but who can’t know that’s actually how I feel. But what else am I supposed to do?” He sighed as he put the cap on the tube in his hand, placing it back in his bag.
Stevie hopped up on the counter. “I know this is a wild idea, but maybe you could just tell your sister the truth?”
David sighed, again, as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He felt like he had aged ten years in a day. “No, that’s not an option. Alexis would be so smug. I hate when she’s smug,” he lifted his chin, examining a blemish. “I’m tired of being a joke. I want to prove them wrong.”
“Yeah, okay,” Stevie ran a hand through her hair. “It’s just, you’ve been in love-”
“I’m not in love. I have...feelings, but it’s not-”
“-Okay, you’ve had feelings for him for a while now but now you’re going to be acting out this part that you’re going to want to continue, and there’s Rachel, and I just feel like it’s hard enough for you but after this…” she trailed off, hopping off the counter, and following him over to his bed which they both collapsed onto.
“After this I’ll be fine,” David laid down next to her, and stared at his ceiling fan.
“Okay,” Stevie didn’t sound convinced, but to be fair, he wasn’t convinced himself that this idea wouldn’t ruin everything.
Theater elementary school had not prepared him for an acting challenge this big.