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It was a usual morning.
Well if you consider being stalked as usual in your life.
As on any other day before starting his work at the music store Yunho came to grab a cup of coffee at Changmin’s bakery.
As on any other day of the last two months, a tall and rather handsome man followed Yunho here. Just as anywhere in the mornings and in the evenings.
“Yunho, just tell him off!”
“Be nice, Changminnie. One Americano.”
“You do not drink Americano.”
“I do.”
“You drink sugar with whipped cream. Tell him off!”
“I am a man, so - Americano. And I can’t simply come up to people and tell them off if I just accidentally meet them everywhere.”
“A man? You can. I can show you.”
“Wow, that hurt. And no need to show something you exercise on me every day.”
Changmin’s face does a double swing in emotions. A victory for Yunho because it is always a memorable day to make Changmin lose his balance.
“WHAT? When did I tell you off? Just on the contrary I…”
“… you what?”
Changmin’s sudden muteness at the strange moments like this always ends up into glowing red ears.
It must be anger, right?
Yunho never digs that thought till the end. Somehow it feels safer not to dig.
“Excuse me...”
That is new.
The tall stranger comes to Yunho. For the first time during these months. And he is talking to him. Looking at him. So he has really been stalking…
“My name is Siwon. I saw you once in the store and… fell in love. I am really shy but I can’t hide my feelings anymore. Please go out with me!”
Yunho… glitches.
The guy’s just confessed. It is not like this is the first time but… Yunho really does not need any relationship right now. He’s just restarted his business and finally bought a flat and is thinking about taking a so-needed vacation after all these years of working non-stop and he has a dog to take care of so…
BOOM
A cup of Americano somehow must have displeased Changmin if he has to put so much force into placing it right in front of Yunho and Siwon.
“You can’t date!” Changmin’s cold voice can be cut in cubes and put into drinks.
Siwon is so startled that almost screams but quickly regains his senses.
“Why?”
Changmin’s eyes make a weird twist in Yunho’s heart. His friend has always been straightforward and harsh but Yunho is not sure his skin tickles because of the coming outburst.
“Because this is MY boyfriend.”
“WHAT?” the voices of Yunho and Siwon hug in perfect harmony.
And that is how all hell breaks loose.
*
Yunho spends the whole day at the store in a daze.
The sound of “MY” declaration still ringing in his ears. Also red now.
Damn.
Changmin and his viruses.
It must be viruses. And this ringing will go away because “MY” was a perfect way out of the uncomfortable situation. A speedy solution.
It does not mean anything.
Right?
*
As it turns out it does.
Yunho watches how the drops of rain draw the pictures on the store windows when Changmin comes in. He has a bag of groceries in one hand and an umbrella in the other.
“What is it?”
“Our dinner.”
“Our?”
“We are eating at your place.”
“You hate to stay at my place.”
Changmin looks him in the eye, jaw flexing, ears red. Again.
“I’ll be fine these several days.”
“Several days? What does that mean?”
“Your tail is here.”
Yunho must be stupid because he does not remember having a tail. He even turns around to check…
See – stupid.
“God, Yunho! That guy is here.”
Oh, Siwon.
He is about to turn when he feels two strong hands keep him in place. Changmin’s breath is mixing with his. They are so close that he can count Changmin’s eyelashes. Long eyelashes. Yunho never noticed that before… huh?
“Don’t look! We have to be believable.”
“Believable? For what?”
“For passing as boyfriends.”
Yunho glitches for the second time this day. Suddenly the skin where Changmin is holding him starts burning.
“Changmin, I know you helped me out in the morning but this is going too...”
“Too what?”
Too far? Too strange? Too not-like-friends? Friends that supported each other for 10 years? They can’t do anything like this…
… or can they?
“Stop thinking too much, Yunho. It is only for several days – so that loser will back off.”
It is still strange but this is the quickest solution to everything. Siwon stalked him for days and if he is still there and thinks Yunho is single it will only complicate things.
“Ok. Let’s go then.”
For some reason Changmin’s features relax and he releases Yunho’s shoulders. Fingers brushing along the chest.
“Too bad I did not bring my umbrella,” sighs Yunho feeling the need to pinch the places where Changmin accidentally touched him.
He does not.
Too busy controlling a sudden pulse jump.
“That is why I bought it on the way here,” Changmin picks up the smallest umbrella Yunho has ever seen.
“… but there is only one, Changminnie.”
Changmin shoves him the coat and pushes him out of the store.
“There was only one left, idiot!”
Only for several days.
Yunho hopes he can do that.
*
Everything is rather… perfect.
Changmin sleeps over at his place. Getting up to walk Taepoong in the mornings together. Coming to him during lunch to eat it together and picking him up after work to go home together.
Changmin has an amazing ability to catch a glimpse of Siwon’s shadow and play his part in fake-dating perfectly. And though Yunho does not see Siwon anywhere close most of the time he settles to fully trust Changmin on this.
“You are too oblivious, Yunho,” says Changmin one day pressing Yunho into the wall of the dark alley and pretending they are kissing.
And Yunho thinks maybe that is true. He bumps into things and walks into trees.
Changmin is very reliable to keep their pretense alive.
“What would I do without you?” smiles Yunho while fixing Changmin’s collar.
“I can’t wait till we break up.”
It is dark and Yunho can’t see Changmin’s face but he is sure the younger man is frowning again.
Only why does his breath hitch every time Yunho brushes against his neck?
*
Siwon is persistently following them everywhere so they learn to fight the awkwardness of being together in public.
Sometimes they hold hands, sometimes they hug.
Changmin is usually silent during this and Yunho thinks he is really a great friend if he suffers through so much just for his sake.
When Yunho gets teary-eyed about this devotion and tries to voice it out Changmin usually smacks him.
Ears red.
All the time.
*
Several days after heartbreakingly gazing at Yunho from afar Siwon does not try to approach him anymore and disappears.
A plan is a success.
*
But as usual there is a flaw in a hasteful plan.
Changmin stays.
*
Yunho is puzzled.
He thought Changmin would breathe in relief and with a well-deserved cry for a party would move out as quickly as he could. Only…
Siwon is nowhere in sight and somehow they continue to do most of the things together.
Yunho does not know how to start fake breaking up with his fake boyfriend in their fake sharing flat. But he knows one thing.
He has to.
*
It’s not that it is intentional Yunho thinks.
Just…
… Changmin is really busy lately.
That is why when in the morning after Changmin shouts at Yunho for squeezing the toothpaste from the middle and rumbles through the living room picking up his smelly socks for the evening laundry Yunho tries but gets the usual:
“Changmin, I think we need to talk…”
“Not now, Yunho.”
And he just leaves shoving the wrapped sandwiches into Yunho’s backpack.
Changmin is busy.
*
They walk Taepoong together in the evening and Yunho masters all his courage to find the right words again.
“Changmin, we need to talk…”
“Not now, Yunho. Look Taepoongie learned a new trick yesterday. Come here, boy!”
And Yunho watches how his dog actually listens to Changmin right away.
‘Betrayal’ thinks he recalling all his failed attempts in the past.
‘Tomorrow’ thinks he again watching how Changmin’s eyes go mismatched after Taepoong brings him a ball.
*
When Changmin starts to leave earlier than Yunho and come only to crash the couch after eating their dinner Yunho comes up with the idea just to call him and try to solve it over the phone.
It is not like… this is a big deal?
Changmin answers the phone after the first ring.
“Yunho, do not tell me you broke the oven again!”
“What? No. I… Look we need to talk…”
“If it is not the oven then I hang up. I am busy.”
“Changmin…”
The beeps have never been that similar to Yunho’s brain work right now.
*
Yunho leaves a message.
Changmin loses his phone.
*
The weekend arrives and they are both free so…
“Changmin, we need to…”
“Not now, Yunho. I am going to Kyu to check the wine bottles he brought from his trip.”
“Ok… Then we will talk when you come back.”
*
Kyuhyun brings Changmin totally passed out and Yunho drags him to his bed because… the couch is not good for a hangover.
Right?
*
Changmin wakes up. Disheveled and disoriented.
Cheeks pinky, mouth dry, eyes blurred, limbs fitting in a bed so perfectly that Yunho cuts this thought right away.
He passes a glass of water with aspirin to him.
“Changmin, we…”
“Where am I?”
“Umm… my room.”
Changmin drops the glass on the sheets, fully awake and gasping like a fish thrown on the ground.
“Did I… we… didn’t… right?”
“What?” Yunho tries to understand where Changmin is looking exactly but his gaze is dashing from one thing to another. “Look you returned yesterday totally loaded and I know you think my room is too messy but I couldn’t let you stay on the couch…”
“I just slept here?”
Yeah…
Yunho is not sure he needs to answer that question because… why to ask it in the first place?
“Listen, we need…”
“You have my picture here.”
Yunho turns to look at the bookshelf in front of the bed. The picture of Changmin taken during Yunho’s enlistment stands alone among the books.
“Oh… you were so cute then – more nervous than me. I did not know that you passed those police exams during that time. At first, I even thought that you did not want to be separated from me for so many years – but you were just worrying about your own enlistment, right?”
Yunho is swimming in warm memories when his eyes clash on Changmin’s red face. It may be the usual victory day for Yunho to throw Changmin off balance but he is not sure what triggered it. Usually, it is a snarky remark or a sassy comeback but today it is…
Just a picture?
Yunho sees how Changmin grips the pillow – veins bulging. He wants to reach the younger’s hand but stops. Because his own fingers are trembling without a reason.
A reason he cannot find a definition for.
“Changminnie…”
“Not now,” whispers Changmin and barricades himself in the bathroom for 2 hours.
*
“You are pathetic!”
Yunho is meeting up with Heechul at the bar to clear his head. He should have learned long ago that Heechul and easy are not in the same category of things.
“No need to be rude just because I can’t start a conversation with him!”
“That is not the context I meant this word for.”
“What?”
A phone screen lights up showing a message from Changmin… about the food for Taepoong. Yunho types the answer and presses SEND a little too hard.
“Why is he asking me the simplest things on the phone but always nags me and is so full of himself when we are home?”
Heechul takes another sip from his alcohol-bomb-cocktail.
“Like I said… pathetic.”
*
“Your boyfriend called. He is coming with your lunch soon.”
Boa is under Yunho’s supervision but that never stops her from totally roasting him on a daily basis.
“Stop it already! We are not dating!”
“Did you finally break up with him?”
“… No.”
Boa looks up at him from the magazine she is reading and pops a gum.
“Then you are dating.”
“Fake-dating. Will you stop?”
Boa is anything but obedient.
“Ok. Your fake lunch will soon be here. Do not forget to fake rent a film for the evening.”
Yunho drops the promos they prepared for the shop.
“That was not my fault! Who knew the shop would be closed for stock-taking!”
Boa pops a gum for the second time and narrows her eyes.
“He was mad,” it is a statement and Yunho nods. “It was a perfect chance to break up – why didn’t you say anything?”
“I tried! But then he went out and returned with a pile of disks from his place and when I tried to talk to him he said not now cause he was too busy rearranging them alphabetically again because he was angry when he put them all in one bag without order and…”
“They are still at your place?” she arches her brow in such a way that Yunho is able to read half a book of her internal lecture.
“Yeah…”
Boa pops a gum for the third time and Yunho thinks for a moment that this is his head blowing up from the strange mix of feelings inside.
*
“We need that tuna, Yunho.”
Already two months have passed and Yunho is not sure he has enough power for… anything. So he takes THAT tuna and silently puts it in the shopping cart.
They go around the mall buying the things Yunho’s never thought he needs. Like a set of knives and a new frying pan and a clothes conditioner and new curtains…
“Changmin, do I really need that?”
Changmin frowns. Something definitely displeased him. Yunho again said something wrong… And no matter how much Yunho tries – he can’t understand. And that seems to fire up Changmin even more.
“WE can’t show those dreadful flower patterns to the guests, Yunho!”
There might have been a clue in that sentence but Yunho is too tired to decipher it.
“Guests?”
“Kyu and Minho are coming.”
“Why?”
Changmin is staring at him again but that does not hinder him from carefully placing the fresh strawberries over a pack of beer.
“We are going to watch a baseball match.”
Yunho scans their half-filled cart “Can’t you watch it at your place?”
He hears Changmin’s stomping steps and hurries to catch up with him. He has to say that now.
“Changmin, we need to talk…”
“Not now, Yunho. We need a new toothpaste,” says Changmin inspecting the wall with hundreds of brands. One of them goes flying to their cart after several minutes.
“Why not to buy two…”
“Next – fish. Let’s go!”
Yunho really needs to talk about breaking up with Changmin.
He has to. Changmin needs his life back. Yunho needs his life back.
So…
After dinner…
When Changmin is not that busy with…
…stuff.
Thinks Yunho diligently pushing the cart towards the next food department.
*
One day Changmin forgets his book and Yunho is on the way to drop by the bakery to give it to him.
And maybe to try again.
The sun is shining and there is a little wind bringing the freshness of the early autumn. What a perfect day for a trip to the river. He can ask Changmin to take some…
No. Better not. If he breaks up with him now they will need some time alone…
Strange…
They are just friends… So why will they need any time?
Because they already stayed together for such a long time that they need a break from each other…
Right?
Better to call Changmin after several days – after he has some rest from Yunho’s unimaginably poor domestic habits. Changmin would be happy… right? He always nags him about it.
So…
So Yunho stops in his track, rushes behind the wall and takes a peek.
There is Siwon in front of the entrance.
In a suit.
With flowers.
Yunho almost wants to run but at this moment Changmin goes out looking completely irritated.
“What do you need here?”
“Changmin! I am so happy you agreed to meet me!”
“The staff said someone was looking for me. If it is about Yunho…”
“No, it is not about him…”
Yunho exhales and for a second thinks the world can move further.
“… It is actually about you…You see I am so thankful to Yunho for meeting you. After he rejected me I was too heartbroken that I spent some time watching him from afar and only then I noticed that my true love is you!”
“WHAT?” Changmin’s natural composure was broken into pieces.
Along with Yunho’s skin on the knuckles when he tried to bite into them not to scream too.
“You are so caring and attentive and gentle…”
Gentle? Caring? This nagging from morning till night? Did he spy on the wrong Changmin?
“You are truly an angel…”
Yunho is about to kick the wall from all boiling in the head.
It should be the head… right?
Then why is Yunho clutching at his chest?
“I want you to give me a chance! Please, take some time to think! Do not answer me right away! Of course, you will have to discuss it with Yunho before anything happens between us… Here is my phone number… I will wait.”
And Siwon ran away leaving Changmin with a piece of paper attached to the flowers in his hands.
*
Yunho needs to go home.
There is no point to stay till night in the streets. Especially when it is getting colder.
Changmin called him many times as well as sent many many messages…
Yunho did not read anything.
Which is strange… Why would he care what Changmin wrote? It’s not like… he cares or thinks that Siwon has any chances… Changmin really does not like that guy… he does not… right?
And at the same time if he does – then Changmin will finally move out. And that is what Yunho has been trying to say to him all this time. If they break up then they finally will…
… what?
*
Changmin is lecturing him right from the door.
About the time, about the phone, about the cold.
Yunho half listens trying to search for… that.
“Where are the flowers?”
“Yunho, we already discussed this. You have an allergy and I am not sitting by your side with first aid kit just because you want to make the kitchen look livelier.”
“Then you threw them out?”
Hope… why is there fucking hope in his voice?
Changmin freezes for a moment, a sweater in his hands is reaching the floor and Taepoong slyly tries to take a chance in ripping it further.
“Is that why you did not come home early? You saw Siwon?”
Yunho is silent because… he really does not know why he did not come… or maybe because he does.
“You heard him asking me out…”
Yunho nods. At least simple human actions are still active in his program.
“… and what are you going to do?”
Yunho is not sure he has a right to answer that question. Or more like to hear that at all. So the mute mode continues.
His heart skips several beats when Changmin lowers his gaze, looking completely destroyed and lost. As if his soul left him, all emotions turned into a blank stare and the muscles stopped to support his body.
He sinks on the couch letting Taepoong steal the sweater completely.
The sweater that Yunho stole from Changmin and stretched it so much that the younger put it into his closet one day.
The closet that has half of Changmin’s things now.
As well as the bathroom.
And the kitchen.
All places except Yunho’s bedroom are touched and marked by Changmin’s presence.
Wrong.
The bedroom was touched too. Yunho just did not want to admit even to himself that after that drunken night Changmin left his shirt there… and Yunho… forgot to wash it every time Changmin did their laundry…
Huh?
Their…
Oh…
“Changminnie, we need to talk.”
The younger does not raise his head so Yunho just goes to him and sits on the knees trying to see Changmin’s eyes behind the fringe. He places his hands on Changmin’s legs feeling him tensing like a string.
“Yeah… I think we should…” mutters Changmin.
Yunho’s heart is beating so fast – he is afraid that his words are too quiet.
But he does not care…
… or more like he finally does.
“You can’t date!”
Changmin’s head jerks up with a loud WHAT on his lips only to be silenced by Yunho’s mouth. The shock is too much and Yunho uses every second to explore and swallow all the sweet sounds Changmin is making. When they part – both are breathless.
Yunho rests his forehead against Changmin’s.
“You can’t date, Changmin. Not now… Not ever.”
Their breaths are mixing again – but now that resonates in all the right places of their bodies.
“About fucking time.”
Changmin’s voice is hoarse and after several seconds Yunho starts blushing when he sees Changmin’s hungry look at their position.
Something from his talk with Heechul finally clicks.
“So you really enlisted earlier to be with me forever…”
Changmin flips them to the floor and promises many dirty things if Yunho mentions their need to talk ever again.
Well…
Yunho loves to experiment anyway.