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Ranpo knew that his colleagues from the Armed Detective Agency were making a surprise party for his birthday since some minutes after he stepped into the room that October 21st. Everyone there was rushing, which didn’t make sense, because there weren’t many papers on the desks. Both Kunikida and Yosano weren’t at the Agency -- according to Tanizaki, they were investigating together, and Ranpo knew it was a lie, because Kunikida always teams up with Dazai, who’s his partner after all.
All those things happened during Ranpo’s first twenty minutes in the Agency. After that, Ranpo already cracked the code that they were planning a surprise. He decided not to ruin their plans, but also decided that he’d have some fun in the meantime.
“Atsushi!” Ranpo called. Atsushi Nakajima was one of the worst liars he had ever seen. There was only one person who was an even worse liar than him. “Where’s Kenji?”
Atsushi, whose face was calm and sweet before, was sweating and apparently terrified. And Ranpo knew the exact reason why: he saw Kenji opening one of the Agency’s doors while holding a bunch of colored balloons, probably for his birthday.
“He… um… he… went to the bathroom!” Atsushi stuttered, pointing at the door Kenji crossed around two minutes before.
“Atsushi, the bathroom isn’t this way. You just pointed at the old files’ room,” the tiger boy was staring at Ranpo, blinking exaggeratedly. “I’m going to look for him there and if i don’t find him, I’ll wait for him near the bathroom. Thanks for the help, Atsushi!”
Ranpo walked away and he could only listen to Atsushi whisper “oh, fuck” quietly.
“Is he even allowed to say ‘fuck’?” Ranpo thought, but shrugged right after. He didn’t really care.
Ranpo’s hand was already holding the door’s handle and it was really easy to open. He stepped inside the room and immediately saw Kenji’s golden hair and farmer clothes. Right after, he saw the colored balloons the boy was holding.
“Hey, Kenji!” the blonde’s face was now pale and almost as terrified as Atsushi’s was before. “What are the balloons for?”
“Hmm… they are… for Kyouka! I love balloons, and i don’t think anyone had given her one, so…” Kenji answered, and Ranpo smiled.
“So… you like Kyouka, uh?”
“Yes! She’s really cool and… strong !” Kenji exclaimed, with his eyes shining. “She’s a good friend!”
Ranpo nodded, smiling. He knew Kenji didn’t understand his question due to his innocence, but that answer was enough.
“I’m going now. I hope Kyouka likes the balloons!” Ranpo winked, leaving Kenji alone in the room with his balloons and red cheeks.
The next person Ranpo would talk to was Dazai. He was a good liar, but it would still be as interesting and entertaining as the ones who couldn’t lie.
“Dazai!” Ranpo called and didn’t get an answer. Noticing that the ability user had his headphones on, he didn’t hesitate to brutally take them off. “Dazai! Everyone’s acting weird today and- wait a second, why are you listening to this… happy and cheerful song?” Ranpo asked, while looking at the song Dazai was listening to and the other ones on the playlist.
“I’m making a playlist for my funeral!” he answered, without any hesitation. Ranpo smiled, not surprised. He was good at lying, probably because of his past in the mafia. If Ranpo didn’t know for a fact that it was a lie, he probably would have believed him for a second, at least, because of the secure expression on his face.
“Why is it so happy, then?”
“Because my death will make me happy and glad, of course!” Dazai exclaimed, like it was obvious.
“Oh, okay. It makes sense.” Ranpo gave Dazai’s headphones back to him. “By the way, do you know where Kunikida is? I need to talk to him.”
“Hm…” Dazai seemed to be trying to remember the information. “I think he had to go shopping with Yosano!”
Ranpo laughed. Shopping with Yosano was a terrible activity, according to… well, according to everyone from the Agency except the doctor herself.
“Okay! I’m going to look for him! Thanks, Dazai.” Ranpo was already on his way to the door when he heard Dazai’s voice.
“Don’t you need a company? I know you aren’t really good at… well, walking through the city.”
“Oh! Oguri will be my company. He’s already coming, I don’t want to interrupt your moment of making your funeral’s playlist.” Ranpo gave Dazai a little smirk before he left the room and texted Oguri to pick him up.
Usually, his guide would be Poe, but apparently Fitzgerald kept his boyfriend busy in the Guild -- damn capitalist.
“Ranpo?” Oguri called, interrupting Ranpo’s thoughts and opening the car’s door. “Why did you text me? You were really… brief.”
“Oh! Yes. I’m sorry for that.” Ranpo wasn’t sorry. It was really fun for him to send the message ‘meet me at the Agency soon. Bye!’ and imagine Oguri’s confused expression. Too funny for him to regret it. “I need to find Kunikida. Apparently he went shopping with Yosano, but… well, I don’t know how to walk through the town.”
Oguri nodded.
“Okay. I can be your company. I don’t have anything else to do today. Besides, it’s your birthday.” Oguri stopped talking for some seconds and stared Ranpo, like he was looking through him. “Happy birthday.” He said, after one of his strange moments.
“Thanks!” Ranpo exclaimed. “Can we go now?”
“Oh, yes. Yes, we can.”
[...]
After thirty minutes walking around Yokohama, Ranpo and Oguri finally found Kunikida. He was in a candy store, talking to Yosano. Really loudly. It was probably something about how she was getting too long and that they’d be late to the next activity of the day’s schedule.
“Kunikida! Yosano!” Ranpo exclaimed, while running towards them. “I looked for you everywhere! What are you doing in my favorite candies’ store?”
Both of Ranpo’s colleagues looked at each other, panicking. They probably didn’t know which explanation they’d give to him.
“We are… uh… I asked Kunikida to help me to buy some chocolates to Kouyou!” Yosano exclaimed, and Ranpo raised an eyebrow. “She…” Yosano blushed. “She asked me on a date.”
“She what?!” Ranpo exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“I didn’t have time!” Yosano spoke. “You spent a lot of time with Poe this week, we couldn’t really talk!”
Ranpo raised an eyebrow.
“What is that, Akiko? Jealousy?”
“No! It’s an explanation, dumbass!” Yosano rolled her eyes. “Now, can you help me? Kunikida can’t stop screaming and this is your favorite candies’ store, so you must have a recommendation.”
“Uh… Ranpo?” Oguri whispered, some steps behind the Agency’s trio. “I assume I… can go now, right? I see you already found your friends.”
“I see what you mean, but you’re my friend too!” Oguri immediately got red and quietly whispered ‘thank you’ . “But i’m going to spend some time here, helping Yosano, so you can go.”
Oguri immediately nodded and awkwardly waved to Ranpo instead of saying a proper goodbye. After he left, Ranpo looked at the boxes of chocolates again.
“You could buy this liquor one.” Ranpo finally commented. It’s not my personal favorite, but it isn’t bad. And, from what you tell me, it seems to me something she would enjoy.”
“Thanks, Ranpo!” Yosano exclaimed, getting two packages and walking towards the cash.
“Kunikida, I know all of you are planning a party for me as a surprise.” Ranpo stated, and Kunikida’s face suddenly got pale. He opened his mouth to say something, but the detective interrupted him before he could even start. “Don’t deny, I already know.”
“We just want to make a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” Ranpo laughed. “It’s impossible to surprise me, and you know it. Just give up.”
Kunikida nodded.
“I see. Just pretend you don’t know anything and to be surprised when the time comes. Everyone is trying to make something nice, so it would be… well, it would be cool if you did it.”
“Okay.” Ranpo nodded and they both just stayed there, quietly looking at the candies’ store for some minutes, until Yosano came back with her packages. “Can we go back now? Oguri left and I can’t go back to the Agency alone.”
“No!” Kunikida exclaimed, angrily. As usual. “I still have to go to Katai’s! I told him I’d be there at 3pm and look!” Kunikida put his watch in front of Ranpo and Yosano’s faces. “It’s half past four already!”
“Fine, fine! Stop screaming, damnit!” Yosano ordered. “Just go to Katai’s and explain why you’re late, I can go back to the Agency with Ranpo alone.”
When Yosano said that, Kunikida quickly whispered “goodbye” and ran through the streets. After that, the doctor decided that Ranpo would be her shopping company. After an hour of Yosano trying out uncountable outfits and the detective giving her short positive or negative answers, they actually walked to the Agency, which took them half an hour.
Ranpo was sitting on his desk when Dazai approached him.
“Hey, detective,” Dazai called, with a little smirk on his lips and his finger pointing at the door of one of the Agency’s rooms. “I think there’s something on the room you need to see.”
While raising one of his eyebrows, Ranpo got out of his chair and walked towards the room Dazai pointed at. He knew that, in this room, his colleagues from the Agency were hiding. His investigative skills and his friends’ lack of ability to lie made him sure that, when he opened that door, he’d find balloons, cakes, various types of candies and confetti.
Ranpo was holding the door handle, hesitating. Hesitating and preparing his fake surprised expression. After two seconds, he was ready.
After two seconds, Ranpo turned the door handle.
And suddenly his fake surprised expression turned into a genuine one. And the cause was Edgar Allan Poe.
Everyone from the Agency was screaming, even Dazai, who was right behind Ranpo -- how did he get close so fast? Poe was in the centre of the room. Not only that, but…
He was inside the huge cake.
Poe’s face was red -- Ranpo loved and hated how cute he was when he blushed -- and he was playing with his own fingers, and Ranpo knew this was one of his mechanisms to cope with anxiety.
Ranpo walked towards his boyfriend -- and the cake.
“Edgar…” he whispered, still shocked. “I think you can get out of the cake now…”
“Thank God!” Poe exclaimed, already doing as Ranpo said. “Your friends… they told me that this would surprise you…” he whispered, finally staring at Ranpo. “Did… did it work?”
“Fuck, yes. Of course it worked! I thought you were working today! And… well, even if you weren’t, I wouldn’t expect to find you here in the Agency inside a cake !” Poe giggled and Ranpo felt like his heart skipped a beat. Not knowing how to control himself any longer, he grabbed Poe’s shirt, bringing his face closer. And then bringing both of their lips together -- the only way he found to kiss his tall boyfriend.
They didn’t spend so many time kissing, because of the screaming and clapping coming from the Agency members. They knew they would have plenty more time to kiss and make out later.
Kunikida, who apparently was already back from Katai’s place, got closer to Ranpo -- and, therefore, to Poe too.
“Today, you told me it was impossible to surprise you.” Kunikida remarked. “But, before Poe, you also told me that it was impossible for a detective to give you chills.”
“Poe is the first one to accomplish a lot of things with me, I guess.” Ranpo affirmed. He didn’t think he would have said something like that while sober, but, with Poe, the man who was to him like alcohol was to an addicted person, by his side, blushing and giggling… well, Ranpo wouldn’t say he was sober.
Kunikida left to bicker Dazai, leaving the couple alone.
Ranpo could see Yosano handing Kouyou the liquor chocolates she bought earlier, and, even from the distance, he could see the Port Mafia member’s face get red.
“So…” Poe started saying, while playing with his fingers again. “I’m the first one to accomplish a lot of things with you…” Ranpo smiled and took a step forward.
“I thought you knew.”
“I knew.” Poe stated. “But… it was… delightful to hear it from you.”
Ranpo nodded, with a silly smile on his lips. Poe made him smile like an idiot, and he wasn’t sure if he disliked it.
“I should say it more often, then.”
“Yes, you should.”
“Wanna get some candies?” Ranpo asked, taking Poe’s hand, who nodded positively. They walked towards the table with the cake and candies, wearing smiles on their faces. Ranpo honestly couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate his birthday: candies, his friends and his boyfriend’s hand inside his.
He always dreamed with having the whole world under his control, but, that day, he realized that wasn’t what he really wanted. That day, at that moment, his whole world was inside this room. And Ranpo didn’t have it under his control, and neither did he desire that -- it was in his hand’s range, and it was more than enough.