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When Gray saw the little old lady by the side of the road, he didn't recognize her immediately. There was a slight tug of familiarity, which puzzled him since he shouldn't feel a connection with some random old woman, but something about her held his attention. She was a mystery, a puzzle, and he stared at her through the window of the carriage, trying to figure out why he felt like he should know her.
And then she looked over at him and smiled, and he knew.
"Stop! Stop the carriage!" he shouted, jumping to his feet.
The old woman was slowly shaking her head, but Gray wouldn't—couldn't—just leave without talking to her again. He had the terrible feeling that this might be the last time he saw her, and he couldn't bear to just ride away without saying anything.
He could dimly hear Erza asking what was wrong, but he didn't bother answering. The carriage was slowing, but not fast enough. Gray stumbled across the compartment and threw the door open, clumsily falling down the steps as the carriage hit a bump and bounced. He let out a hiss of pain as he hit the ground, but hastily scrambled to his feet and took off running.
His friends piled out of the carriage behind him as it ground to a halt. They followed after him, asking what was going on.
"Ultear!" he called as he skidded to a stop in front of the old lady and tried to catch his breath.
Behind him, Natsu muttered something about him losing his mind, but Gray ignored him.
"Gray," Ultear said, smiling at him serenely. "You needn't have stopped."
Gray just stared at her, his heart twisting with pain and guilt. The physical changes were hard enough to swallow, but it occurred to him that she sounded more at peace with herself than she ever had before. He couldn't understand why. Surely she had even more to be upset about now than ever before.
"Oh my gosh, she knows him!" Lucy exclaimed in a stage whisper.
"No way… That really is Ultear?" Natsu asked incredulously.
Gray wished his friends would shut up.
"It was you," he breathed. Of course. That one minute reversal had to have been time magic. "What did you do?"
Ultear's smile remained fixed in place, and she even laughed a little. "Oh, I tried to cast a spell and failed. There is a spell that can rewind time at the cost of the caster's own time. I had been hoping to rewind time far enough that the Eclipse Gate could be stopped from opening at all, but I failed. In the end, I suppose my life was worth just about one minute."
A nauseous feeling settled in the pit of Gray's stomach. How could she be so calm, so accepting? He was suddenly glad that he had stopped the carriage. He was glad that he hadn't left Ultear behind thinking that her life had been practically worthless.
"You could look at it that way, but maybe you should consider how valuable that minute was before dismissing it. You can think that your life was only worth one minute, but how much was that one minute worth?"
"Since when did he become so philosophical?" Natsu muttered. Gray could practically hear him rolling his eyes.
Ultear eyed Gray curiously. "What do you mean?"
"I died," he said flatly. "In that one minute, I died."
There was a collective gasp from behind him.
"What the hell do you mean, you died?" Natsu demanded.
"What I mean is that Juvia got distracted during the battle and almost got herself shot full of holes by a horde of dragonlings. As it stands, I was shot here." Gray pointed at his chest. "Here, here, here, here…" He touched several other places where he could hazily remember being pierced by the dragonlings' attacks. "And here." He finally reached up and pressed a finger against his forehead.
He glanced at the others and was greeted by a gaggle of horrified expressions. Lucy covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes clouded with unshed tears. Erza looked partially aghast and partially like she wanted to hunt down some dragonlings and tear them apart limb from limb. Wendy's eyes were filled with tears as she clutched an equally shocked Charle to her chest. Natsu's mouth was opening and closing soundlessly, and Happy had been so startled that he had fallen out of the air and was now sitting on the ground. Even Ultear looked taken aback.
"Seeing as I was dead, I don't know what else happened in that minute," Gray said conversationally, keeping his voice casual. "But I imagine that I'm not the only one you helped. Do you realize what a huge advantage it is to see one minute into the future on the battlefield? That glimpse of the future would have stopped a lot of people from getting injured or killed. I'm sure that single minute made a lot of difference for a lot of people."
Silence greeted his words. He thought that his friends might still be in shock, but he only had eyes for Ultear. Her eyes had slowly filled with moisture, and a single tear dripped down her wrinkled cheek.
"Thank goodness I cast the spell, then," she said. "I'm glad that it made a difference. Knowing that I saved you… It means that it was worth it. Thank you for telling me."
Part of Gray was happy that he had shown her the importance of her sacrifice, but mostly he wanted to break down and cry. He truly did think that her spell might have saved a lot of people and he couldn't regret that, but he hated the idea that she had given her life for his.
"Wait, I thought he said Juvia was going to get shot?" Happy hissed. He might have been trying to keep his voice low, but it was clearly audible in the silence. "How did he get killed?"
"That's the kind of stupid question I'd expect from Natsu," Lucy muttered.
"Hey!"
"He saved her, obviously," she continued over Natsu's protest. "He somehow sacrificed himself for her."
That last comment ground on Gray's nerves even more than the rest of their inane chatter.
"Don't sound so pleased with yourself," he burst out, casting a baleful glare at Ultear. "You can feel good about helping the others, but for me… Don't act like it was worth it."
Ultear stared at him, her serenity fading a little as first surprise and then sadness crossed her face. "Gray," she said gently, "it was worth it."
Gray let out a breath and turned away so that he didn't have to look at her anymore and be reminded of the price she had paid for saving him.
"Don't expect me to thank you," he said darkly.
"That's alright. I still think it was worth it, regardless."
"Why?" he demanded in frustration. "After everything I've done… Why?"
"What is it you've done that I should be so upset about?" Ultear asked mildly.
Gray frowned over at her. "Really? I was half the reason you thought Ur had abandoned you, which is what pushed you into joining a dark guild in the first place. That's why you were willing to do terrible things in order to go back and change the past. And then," he continued bitterly, "I killed your mother."
He thought he heard Natsu mutter something like "here he goes again" under his breath, but he didn't want to look at his friends right now, so he chose to ignore it. Ultear's smile faded as she studied him seriously.
"Your first charge was a complete misunderstanding from the beginning, and it's partially my fault for assuming things," she said quietly. "In any case, you had no idea that I was even still alive, so how could you have known? As for the second…" She trailed off and shook her head. "I thought I told you that I wasn't angry about what happened to my mother."
Gray raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. But at the time you were still trying to manipulate me into using iced shell on Hades, so it didn't seem very heartfelt."
"She was what?"
The sound of scuffling and muffled whispers broke out as the other Fairy Tail mages tried to make Natsu shut up. Gray wished they'd just go back to the carriage already.
"I suppose so," Ultear conceded, glancing at Natsu with a strangely apologetic but amused look before returning her attention to Gray. "But I think we've all told you often enough that you need to stop blaming yourself for everything. And besides that… You know, you've listed off the things I should hate you for, but you never mentioned any of the ways you helped me."
Gray stared at her blankly. He had no idea what she was talking about. Seeing his uncomprehending look, Ultear sighed and continued on.
"Surely you must have realized that you're the reason I abandoned Grimoire Heart and my…villainous ways to form Crime Sorcière. I mean, the memories Ur showed me when I fell into the ocean were a big part of that, but it's also because you tried to help me understand what I was doing. You are one of the main reasons I was able to let go of my hatred and pain to move on."
She smiled at him fondly, and he continued to stare at her stupidly. That almost made sense, but he also couldn't accept that it was enough. It wasn't enough to make up for how much he had taken from her, and it certainly wasn't enough to justify a sacrifice on his behalf.
"It's not the same," he grumbled.
"No, it's not," she agreed. "But that doesn't make it any less valuable. I don't think you understand how much you really helped me."
No, maybe he didn't. But Gray still couldn't accept that her sacrifice had saved him. It was too much like…
His bitterness and anger drained away as his eyes filled with tears that he quickly blinked away. There was no way he was about to start bawling out here in front of all his friends. He averted his gaze, but Ultear was perceptive.
"Gray, what is it that you're really so upset over?" she asked gently.
There was a heavy silence, but then the words poured out of Gray's mouth of their own accord before he could stop them.
"Because this is how I lost Ur," he said brokenly.
Everything seemed to still for a moment, before Ultear stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. Gray was initially startled, but hesitantly hugged her back.
"I'm sorry," she said simply. "I know how much she meant to you."
Gray blinked rapidly in an attempt to prevent his tears from falling. "It's not only about Ur," he said hoarsely. "It's about you too. I can't believe I'm losing you the same way I lost her."
He hadn't known Ultear for all that long, but he felt a deep sense of kinship for her in the same way he had for Lyon. They were connected because of Ur, but also because of the friendships they had formed with each other. Gray simply could not accept that both his master and her daughter were dying for him.
"She would have been proud of how much you've grown and of the man you've become," Ultear murmured, gently pushing Gray away so that they could look at each other again. "I feel very lucky to have met you, and I'm glad that you're safe and alive."
She smiled. "Besides, things aren't all bad. I feel better than I have in my entire life. I've finally found peace and a way to forgive myself for the things I've done. Now all I can do is hope that you find the same."
Gray bit his lip. He wasn't sure he could manage that right now, but maybe in the future he would find a way to let go and move on.
"Will you come back with us?" he asked in a low voice, unable to offer that reassurance just yet.
"No, I'm quite happy here just the way I am."
"Do you want us to help you find Jellal and Meredy?"
"No. I already told them what happened, but they have work of their own to do that I can no longer assist with, so I'm staying behind."
Gray had the feeling that there was something she wasn't saying because he couldn't imagine that her guildmates would agree to leave her behind, but he let it go.
"But surely there's something we can do…"
Ultear shook her head. "I'm perfectly fine, and I don't need any help. You already gave me everything I needed. I still think that your life was worth saving, and I won't apologize for that. You and your guild have a very bright future ahead of you, so live on with your friends. Now go on. It was nice to see you one more time, but it's time for you to go. Goodbye, Gray."
Her gaze drifted past him to rest on the people standing behind him. "It was nice meeting all of you as well. Take care of him."
There was a muted chorus of agreement from the gathering of Fairy Tail mages.
"I can take care of myself," Gray protested, but his voice was strangely flat.
Ultear smiled one last time and then turned and began hobbling away without another word. Gray stared after her numbly, unable to make his body move.
"I'm sorry," he whispered finally.
He watched until she disappeared from view, and then forced his sluggish limbs into motion. He walked past his friends and waved off their concerned inquiries.
"I'm fine," he said evenly. "Let's go. It will be nice to be home again."
He had known his friends long enough to instinctively realize that they were exchanging glances behind his back and waging a silent debate over whether or not they should press the issue. After a moment, he heard footsteps crunching on the gravel behind him and exhaled in relief. They were going to let it go. For now, at least.
Climbing back into the carriage, Gray resumed his previous seat and stared out the window as everyone else filed in and took their seats. Lucy, Erza, and Wendy hesitantly started up a conversation as the carriage began rolling again, and Gray was relieved that they were going to pretend everything was normal instead of bothering him.
He let his mind wander, keeping his face turned towards the window so that no one could see the tears welling in his eyes. He still couldn't believe that he had lost both mother and daughter under such similar circumstances. They had both given their lives for him, and his heart twisted as he thought about how he had destroyed their family.
What had they seen in him to make them think it was worthwhile to save him at the cost of their own lives? He tried to conceal a shaky exhale as he rested his forehead against the cool glass. He just couldn't understand why people cared so much about him after everything he had done.
There was a loud groaning sound from beside him, and he looked over in surprise to see that Natsu was sitting beside him now, where Erza had been sitting before. Natsu moaned pitiably again and slumped against him.
"Hey, get off," Gray griped, although he was still too out of sorts to inject much heat into his voice.
"No," Natsu groaned. "You're cool. It helps with the motion sickness."
Gray's eyebrows shot up. Throughout all the time they had been friends, Natsu had never once suggested that coldness could help his traveling ills. Gray resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Natsu was embarrassingly transparent.
He couldn't care less about whether Gray's lower body temperature could provide him with relief. This was just his way of reminding Gray that he wasn't alone. Despite himself, one corner of Gray's mouth twitched upwards.
He considered just pushing Natsu off, but decided to play along. He did appreciate the gesture, after all.
"Hm." He extracted one of his hands and pressed it against Natsu's forehead, grimacing at how hot his friend's skin was.
Clearly not expecting the contact, Natsu started in surprise. Gray hid a smirk, wondering if he would abandon his plan now that he'd have to deal with the cold directly. Instead, Natsu made a slight sound of surprise.
"Huh. It actually does feel good," he remarked in wonder.
Gray felt his eyebrows inching upwards again. That was unexpected, although the confirmation that Natsu had been lying earlier was not. So he didn't remove his hand. Leaving the appendage in place, he turned back to the window, his thoughts taking a dark turn once more.
After a few minutes, Natsu sighed in contentment and Gray glanced back at him again. Although Natsu was still clearly feeling ill, he actually looked a great deal better than he normally did. Gray would have to remember this for next time. The real challenge would be finding a way to repeat the favor without admitting that he was actually trying to help Natsu.
"If you throw up on me, I'm going to freeze you solid," he warned.
"Yeah, yeah," Natsu grumbled. "Who knew that having a personal ice cube would come in handy someday?"
Gray laughed softly. It was half amused and half a brittle warning that his grief was threatening to break through. Natsu looked up at him in alarm, before slumping over again to bow his head and stare at the floor. Gray didn't know what he had seen in his face, but Natsu was going to give him the courtesy of pretending that he hadn't seen it at all. Gray appreciated that.
But now, even surrounded by his friends, the numbness began to wear off and his anguish over Ur and Ultear was coming through. His body trembled as he began silently crying in earnest. He was about to turn back to the window to hide his tears, but changed his mind at the last second and impulsively slumped over himself to rest his face on the head leaning against his shoulder.
Natsu stiffened as the tears seeped into his hair, but then slowly, surreptitiously, snaked one arm around Gray's back to give him a one-armed hug. They stayed like that for a long time, and Gray didn't even care that Lucy and Erza were watching.
He mourned for the master he had inadvertently killed and for her daughter, who had also sacrificed herself to save him. But even as his grief threatened to overtake him, the presence of his friends kept him grounded. Gray didn't know what he had done to deserve such great friends, but he curled himself against Natsu and silently thanked them for everything they had done for him.
And he prayed that he wouldn't lose them as well.