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All the girls fawned over him, and it wasn’t like it was some kind of secret. Danny Sexbang was the superhero that every guy wanted to be, and every girl wanted to be with, even if they didn’t know it. At least, that was how the man himself saw it. He was a legend to many, loved by all and that was just how he liked it. Danny Sexbang, man of everyone's dreams. Except the one he wanted so desperately to be with. To sweep her off her feet and show her things she’d never seen before. To experience all the things he could give her that no one else could...
At first glance, she didn’t seem all that special. After the Samurai Abstinence Patrol got ahold of her, he and Ninja Brian sprung in to action to save her. But when they finally got her out of their evil clutches, it wasn’t like it had been every other time before that. She seemed less than thankful and it threw Danny Sexbang off his game. He wasn’t that charming, handsome and strong sex god that everyone wanted to fellate. He was just a normal guy in some spandex and a furry cape with a girl looking less than amused and Ninja Brian simultaneously stabbing the shit out of some guy in the background. That was always the case wasn’t it? When he’d finally feel something other than just wanting to give a girl three minutes of ecstasy, she doesn’t want a single damn thing to do with him. Still, it was his duty to protect the innocent and give women all the things they could desire and that was exactly what he was going to do.
The last thing you remembered was bright blue eyes staring down at your face, suddenly whiteness exploding before your vision and you were out cold.
“Ninja Brian!” Danny called in a scolding voice. “Did you just knock that girl out?”
His eyes were cold and uncaring, carrying the girls form from the large stereotypically evil looking hideout. His tall, Jewish partner followed close behind, not looking back once at the mess of death they left in their wake. It was a dark, looming night as they headed back to their top secret sexetorium to give the girl a safe place to lay her head for the night. In the morning, Danny would question her and get all his answers. He wanted to know then and there what those bastards wanted but it would have to wait. She wasn’t going to be waking up for some time and he’d just have to give her that.
And so begins the newest adventure of Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian versus The Samurai Abstinence Patrol on a quest to save Earth and stuff...