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Being in SOLDIER wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be. I knew it would be hard, and I knew it wouldn’t be all fun, but I expected it to be very different.
I was in a mission with Zack Fair, who had become a really close friend. He was somehow my mentor during my training, and he helped me and encouraged me when I most needed him. He was truly very kind and caring.
That night was a very cold one, and even though Zack had been clever enough to bring blankets, I was still freezing.
“How are you holding up?” He asked me after he finished with the fire.
I had told him repeatedly along the evening how cold it was getting. The darker it got, the cooler it was.
Now I was lying on the floor, curled up over myself trying to stay warm with one of the two blankets. Although it was useless, because I was shaking like a leaf. That was why Zack decided to lit up a fire.
“Freezing” I simply said, my teeth chattering.
He chuckled and put his blanket over my huddled up form.
“There” He sat beside me and stared at me.
“That’s your blanket!” I complained, still shivering. “You’re gonna freeze to death”
“Nooo” He playfully answered. “It’s you who’s gonna freeze if I don’t give you my blanket”
I looked over my shoulder to him and saw him smiling that bright smile that was always plastered on his face.
I rolled over myself so I was facing him. He was stirring the incandescent ember with a stick. At least the bonfire next to us was warm.
To be honest, I was glad that he was the one I was stuck with. The only other person I trusted that much was Cloud, but we didn’t have the connection Zack and I shared.
“Fuck” I muttered, because I couldn’t stay warm.
Zack suddenly lied beside me in the cold and hard ground and looked at me with a smirk both in his mouth and his sky blue eyes. He placed his arms under his head to use them as a pillow.
“Still nothing?” He insisted, and I shook my head.
How could he be so nonchalant wearing his First Class uniform while I was shivering in my warm and cozy long sleeve shirt? His arms were completely bare!
He grumped and shifted closer to me.
“Come ‘ere” He gestured me to get closer.
I flinched for a second but then cuddled next to him. His body emerged such warmth.
“There, is that any better?”
He wrapped his strong and gentle arms around me and I smiled, feeling how my tense limbs relaxed as they stopped trembling.
“Yeah, thanks” I smiled, cuddling closer to his chest. “You’re not cold, Zack?”
“Nah, I’m okay”
I sighed, feeling so much better.
To my surprise, I felt his chest shaking with laughter.
“You stopped shaking” He observed, the smile present in his voice.
“Thank Heavens”
I was starting to feel sleepy -finally- as I heard the noise of the fire crackling and the sound of Zack’s soft breathing pattern. It had been a long time since I felt so cozy.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed that moment, feeling so grateful to have Zack there with me and also that he cared for me.
Then, he started speaking again, breaking the silence.
“So, Y/N, there’s something I’ve been wondering for a while”
“Yeah?” I replied in a sleepy voice. My eyes kept themselves closed, but I didn’t even bother in opening them again.
“What happened? Are you still in SOLDIER?”
“Mmm… no”
It was a long story really, but a lot of things were going on, so I finally decided to leave. For a long time, I had been trying to decide whether I should stay or not. But to be honest, the work wasn’t appealing to me anymore, and if there was something that held me back were the friends I made there.
If I was in that mission with Zack, it was because I wanted to help him, and because I thought it was something worth doing.
“Why’s that?”
“I realized that ShinRa was no good and that its boss is a selfish prick. I didn’t want anything to do with that place anymore”
“About time” He answered, which took me by surpise, making me look up at him.
It was something I never expected him to say. He agreed with me?
“Why are you still in SOLDIER if you already knew this?” I frowned and stirred a little, trying to get comfortable while lying in the hard floor. “You were always so eager to get to First Class…”
“Because I can still do some good. I can still help people and become a hero”
I internally grinned at his dream. Ever since I knew him, he had that in mind. ‘Embrace your dreams’ and all that stuff he always said.
But he had matured a lot since I first met him. I didn’t really know why the change.
“Huh, Y/N?” He was speaking to me.
“What?”
“What are you gonna do now?” He had to repeat since I hadn’t been listening.
“If I’m lucky, fall asleep” I joked, and he laughed.
“You know what I mean”
“I really don’t know, Zack….”
“What would you like to do?” He said instead, but I sighed and shrugged.
“No idea”
“Okay, let me ask then… why did you join SOLDIER?”
“Well…” I started to say. “Because I wanted to make myself useful. I figured I could do more for Midgar there than training in my room”
I felt him smirking above me.
“You can be useful anywhere. You don’t need SOLDIER for that”
I slightly shrugged and sighed again.
“Get some sleep” He only said, wrapping me tighter in his arms.
I cuddled closer to him once more and grinned.
Slowly, I was falling asleep, too comfortable in his extremely warm arms.
Maybe being with him was another reason as to why I decided to go on that mission. Because he sure was one special boy.