Chapter Text
El sat on the couch, her school work sitting next to her as she watched a rerun of Cheers. She had lost focused maybe ten minutes ago, trying to imagine what it would be like to just walk into a bar, just walk into anywhere and have friends. She looked to the front door of the cabin, snuggling deeper into the blanket she had dragged from Hoppers bed.
He had told her a year ago, after everything had calmed down once again, that they would get out of there. He said they would find a place, nothing too big, but nothing as small as the cabin. He let her out during the summer, let her run around with her friends and be in the sun, but as winter set in she could feel it again. It was the feeling that sat at the back of her mind; like she was stuck.
She turned the T.V. off, her head tilting to the side as she did it. She was tired of hearing people on laugh tracks for the day. She let her head lay back on the couch, listening to the ringing of the silence as she let out a heavy sigh. She could watch her friends from the dark space of her mind, but the last time she did that she felt an anger grow inside of her that she couldn’t quite understand. Two years of this, just sitting and waiting. She felt as if she was being imprisoned again, except now she could be a little freer.
She glanced at the clock that sat over the small dining table. It was past twelve, and even though she was excited to have Hopper home, she wasn’t ready to share the space again. She couldn’t figure out what she wanted. She couldn’t figure out if she wanted to be around someone or be alone. Ever since the end of summer she had felt this growing infection in the back of her mind; a realization that she had been trying to hide from herself.
Hopper liked to say that they were almost there. They were almost to the point when she could live the normal life they had been working towards. She was now ahead of the party when it came to school work, Nancy teaching her senior level classes. She had worked so hard to get to that point, missing nights of sleep because she wanted to be the best that she could be, but it would all mean nothing to her in the end. She would never be normal and she knew that. No matter if she went to school, or got a job; she would always be Eleven.
She could hear the wind chimes she had begged Hopper to hang up on the porch during the summer, it rang fast as the winter wind blew past it, making her want to snuggle into Hoppers covers more. She thought about turning the T.V. back on, the silence making her think things she wasn’t ready to think about. She gave a hearty sigh, flipping the T.V. back on with her mind, moving the channels until it was switched to the fuzzy black and white screen. She lay back on the couch, pulling the blanket over her head, before she closed her eyes.
She wanted to see Mike, mostly because it had been three weeks since the last time they had seen each other in person. Hopper had been working a lot of weekends, and Mike couldn’t help but mouth back at his teachers, meaning he was under house arrest watching his little sister most days. Instead she found Will, washing his hands in a school sink, his eyes cast down at what he was doing.
She walked slowly to him, watching as he just sat with his hands in the warm water, steam starting to come out from the facet. He let out a relived smile, his body slightly relaxing.
“Dude what happened?” Dustin came around both of them, His voice slightly panicked. He looked down at the warm water, sticking his finger in it before quickly pulling it out. “Dude,” he said turning the faucet off. “You’re burning yourself. What’s going on?”
“I thought I felt it,” Will said softly, looking at his red hands. “I guess it was just a draft going through the room, but I thought a felt a chill go through me; like it was back.” Dustin went and retrieved a paper towel, handing it to his friend.
“El closed the gate,” Dustin said softly. “You’re going to be okay.” He put his hand on Will’s shoulder, letting a comfortable silence pass through them.
“I guess it’s just the time of year,” Will said softly. “I’ll be fine.” El put her hand out; wanting to reassure Will that it would be okay. She could feel it too, a chill settling over her. She had been feeling it all day, but Will was right. It was the time of year. They both were just waiting for something bad to happen.
“Let’s go to lunch. Lucas said he brought his moms cookies from home.” Will let a smile set on his face, El let a frown set on hers. She waved her hand through Will, making them disappear in front of her. She looked around at the darkness; trying to think of someone else to watch. Her mind going from Joyce to Hopper, then finally realizing the last time she had watched the two of them it almost felt like she was interrupting a moment. She thought about Max, how she had taught her over the summer how to fix her hair.
She heard a locker slam behind her, turning fast to the noise.
“I did not,” Lucas whined.
“You did too,” Max shot back; folding her arms in front of her chest. They stood in front of tall red lockers. Both of them seeming not too pleased. “Tamera told me in second period that you pretty much ran to partner up with Cloe.”
“She has a ninety-seven in the class, I would be an idiot not to partner with her.” Lucas said a little louder. Ell shook her head, walking towards them slowly. She had always heard their bickers, and Max had told her once about a big fight they had in deciding if goat cheese was better than regular.
“She tried to cut my hair off in Spanish two weeks ago.” Max yelled back at him. “Do you not remember holding me back from pounding her into the ground?” Lucas covered his face with his hands in frustration.
“What are we fighting about today,” Mike said walking from behind El. El’s face lit up, her stomach slightly dropping when she looked up into his face. He tried moving Lucas out of the way of a locker, messing with the combination before opening it.
“Your boy here partnered up with Cloe Stafford,” Mike looked to Lucas while piling his backpack into his locker.
“Really?” He questioned his friend.
“She has the highest grade in the class,” Lucas yelled at him.
“Okay,” Mike said with a slight grin. Lucas rolled his eyes, El let out a laugh at her friend; moving to stand closer to Mike. He was taller than she remembered. Mike stopped what he was doing, staring into his locking before looking at the space in which she stood. For a moment it was as if they were looking into one another’s eyes.
“If you want to make it up to me you can give me your cookie at lunch,” Max said calming down slightly. Mike looked back to his friends, acting like their small interaction never happened.
“You can have mine,” Mike said pulling out a brown paper back before closing his locker. “My mom packed me some oatmeal cookies.”
“Gross,” Max said. All three turned away from her, getting ready to move down the hall to lunch. El watched her friends go, Mike slightly looking back before continuing. For just a brief moment she had felt good, listening to her friends bicker, helping to ease the pain slightly.
She closed her eyes as the lockers disappeared beside her; opening them again to Hopper’s blanket that rested on top of her face. She could feel blood run down from her nose. She quickly stood from her spot, walking to the kitchen to get a paper towel. She sighed in frustration, as a small chill filled her body, making her run back to the blanket she had left behind on the couch.
…
Will knew what he felt, and a cold draft wasn’t it. He had been sitting in English with Dustin, his teacher reading Ray Bradbury out to the class. He had only been half listening, mostly gazing out of the windows as the clouds grew slightly darker. There was a cold front moving through today. His mom had made him stuff a large coat into his locker that morning, because by the time school let out it would be raining and cold. That’s when he felt it, the cold breeze going through him. It was almost as if it moved inside of his body, and not down his skin. He sat up straight, shaking out the feeling before it hit him again.
He raised his hand, the teacher stopping mid-sentence.
“Do you have a question Mr. Byers,” She asked.
“May I use the restroom,” Dustin watched as Will stood before the teacher could answer. Moving to the classroom door and disappearing into the hall. He moved fast to the bathroom, feeling as if something was following close behind. He felt cold, but a sweat built up on his forehead as he moved into the boy’s room.
He needed the comfort of knowing. He needed to feel something warm or he would go crazy. He let the faucet run for a minute, before shoving his hands under the warm water. He sighed in relief, the warm water felt good, it felt welcoming.
He could still feel it. He could always feel it, but for some reason today; today was the worst.
“Dude,” Dustin busted into the boys room, throwing his and Wills backpack on the ground. “What happened?” He looked at Will, the warmth of the water making his finger go numb. He wasn’t the monster, he was Will Byers. He was normal, as normal as he could be anyway. He was lost in his thought, feeling eyes on him from all directions when he felt the water stop.
“Dude,” Dustin said loudly. “You’re burning yourself. What’s going on?” Will didn’t really know how to explain it, he didn’t really know if he wanted to explain it.
“I thought I felt it,” Will admitted out loud. “I guess it was just a draft going through the room, but I thought I felt a chill go through me; like it was back.” He pictured the darkness he had felt last year; the small snip-bits of memory that would come and go every once and a while. He felt the guilt, weighing on his shoulders. Because he could still hear his mom cry at night when she thought everyone was asleep.
Dustin rambled on about how the gate was closed. Of course Will let himself believe it, but as the time came closer and closer to Halloween he could feel it; this pull in his gut telling him to run while he still could. He let Dustin lead them out of the bathroom, taking their backpacks as they went. Today would be a good day, because Lucas brought his mother’s cookies, the best the parties ever had. Today would be a good day, because Dustin was right. The gate was closed and there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.
…
Mike only half listened as they sat in the back of the cafeteria. He stared down at the sandwich his mother had made him that morning, feeling his stomach turn slightly. He had been feeling weird this past week. The nerves of the month were getting the better of him, and worst of all he was seriously lacking some El time. It had been three weeks since they had last gotten to meet, and even though he knew it would be for the better, for some reason he felt like something was off; like she was trying to tell him something from afar.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine,” Max said dryly, eating half of Lucas’s cookie.
“Well I don’t,” Dustin said back from across the table. Mike took a bite of his sandwich, looking over to Will in hopes he could fill him in on the conversation. “Ms. Vice wants to have a parent teacher conference with my mom,” he whined. “I can’t do that to her it’ll break her heart.”
“Ms. Vice doesn’t know what year it is,” Lucas said back to him. “Just explain that to your mom, she’ll understand.”
“Or,” Max said with a mouth full of cookie. “You can tell Ms. Vice to shove it. Its 1985, women don’t need husbands to survive anymore. So what if your dad is gone, sometimes that’s for the better anyway.” The table went quiet for a moment, the subject of Dustin dad making everyone a little uneasy.
“Maybe I can make Steve my male guidance for the paper,” Dustin said after a moment.
“Or,” Max stuck up her figure in thought, “you can do it as your mom like you intended to do in the first place.”
“I would rather do my mom as my male guidance over my dad any day,” Will put in. “I mean if I had to do it I would probably pick my brother though.” Mike refocused on his sandwich, Dustin’s paper debacle not really interesting him.
It was almost like she was there; in the hallway. He thought he could smell the perfume Nancy had gotten her for Christmas, but no one else seemed to notice.
“Mike,” Wills voice rang. Mike looked all around him as students stood from their lunch tables, moving to throw away their trash. “Bell rang, let’s go.” Mike stood in a haze, pilling all the food he didn’t touch into his brown bag. Will grabbed his arm before he could finish. “Can we talk, after school?” Mike slowly turned his gaze to his friend.
“Of course,” He said lightly. “Is everything okay?” Will shifted his eyes, looking down at the table.
“Yeah,” He said simply, a small smile appearing on his face. “I just, need an ear.” He shrugged his shoulders, letting go of Mikes arm. They both gathered their things, moving to their next class.
…
Hopper sat with his feet on his desk, a single cigarette drooping from his lips. He could feel his eyes falling, the paper in his hand slowly slipping out. It had been a long day, and ever since he agreed to let El read at night they had been going to bed later and later. They were in the middle of The Hobbit, and even though he would never be caught with that book in public, they were both getting into it.
A strong knock on the door made hopper jump, the paper falling to the floor; his lit cigarette falling into his lap.
“Shit,” he swept it onto the floor quickly before stomping it out. The door creaked open.
“Hey chief,” Officer Callahan peaked passed the door. Hopper waved him in, the tall officer closing the door behind him. “Ms. Norman called, again.” He took a seat in front of his desk, leaning back in the chair. “I’ve been to her house two times this week. She says a monster is walking around her Lily garden.” Callahan let out a small laugh. “These people are going crazy chief,” Hopper stared at his colleague, trying to think of something that would resemble the monster Ms. Norman had to be talking about. “and I told her not to worry,” he ended, bring Hopper out of thought. “I’m sure it was a deer or something, maybe a bear.”
“Just write up a report,” Hopper said softly, looking down at his watch. He stood from his seat, adjusting his pants on his waste.
“Ah,” Callahan said standing from his seat. “The little lady,” he gave Hopper a little smile, raising his eyebrows. “So, when are you going to bring her in?”
“Never,” Hopper grabbed his coat from the coat rack, taking a peak out the window as he put it on. “I don’t need you and Powell teaching her officer lingo.” Callahan followed him out of the office, Hopper closing the door as they went. Floe held up his keys, not taking her eyes off the book she was reading. “I don’t need Floe teaching her anything either.” She looked up from her book with an eye roll.
“Poor thing probably suffering without me,” she said before going back to her book. Callahan laughed, Hopper eyed both of them.
“Fill out the paper work,” Hopper said pointing his keys at Callahan. “I’ll let animal patrol know tomorrow there’s something walking around the south of town. They’ll keep their eyes open.”
…
El counted the wood panels in the ceiling. She listened to the wind pick up and whistled through the cracks in the walls. After visiting her friends at school she got a little lonelier than she expected. She thought seeing them would help ease the pain, but seeing them, listening to them talk; it made her realize how much she missed out on every day.
There were thick boots stomping up the front steps, the sound of Hopper signing through the door. She stayed on her spot on the floor, unlocking the locks before he could knock. The door creaked open, his footsteps stopping before they picked up again.
“I didn’t knock,” he grumbled a little closing the door and hanging his coat up. She stayed on the floor, her eyes glued to a wood panel, trying to remember what number she was on. “What’cha doin?” He said standing over her. His body just slightly out of her eye sight. She gave a sign, trying to find Hopper with her eyes without moving her head.
“I don’t remember the number I was on,” She said to him, looking back up to the ceiling. She took her hand, pointing to one end of the ceiling before she started counting again. “One, two, three,” she said softly. Hopper moved into the kitchen, grabbing a beer before taking his shoes off and finding a seat on the couch.
“Did you do your homework?” he asked. El rolled her eyes, her finger still pointed to the ceiling.
“Ten, eleven, twelve,” she continued softly.
“Did you finish that paper Dustin told you to write?”
“Eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”
“Kid,” Hopper looked over the couch at her. She rolled her eyes before sitting up from the floor.
“I finished everything on Monday,” she said dryly to him. “I finished my math, physics, and the paper Dustin was talking about three days ago.” She lay back down, trying to find the wooden panel she had left off on. She brought her finger back into the air.
“Why didn’t you tell me,” Hopper asked, switching on the T.V. before looking back at her. “I would have found something for you to do.
“I found something to do,” she said back to him. She frowned; thinking about her day. Watching Mike walk away from her, listening to Will in the bathroom, the cold chill that was running through her body. She didn’t really think it was anything. There had been a cold wind outside all day, but for some reason she couldn’t stop thinking about what Will had said. What if something was happening and they all just didn’t want to notice it?
“I thought you can come with me into town tomorrow.” El sat up quickly, her vision going dark as blood rushed to her head.
“Like, outside the car?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said softly, looking towards her. “Like inside a store, maybe two.” El stood with excitement.
“What are we buying?”
“Well.” Hopper looked down to his beer can, and then up at the T.V. commercials were playing softly as he thought. “Maybe some more clothes for you. You have summer stuff, but you’ll be starting school in the winter.”
“Really?” El felt like her world got a little bit warmer. She walked to the couch, sitting right beside him. “Can I get stockings, and a dress? Maybe some new shoes? Nancy told me the name of the store where she gets all her hair bands.”
“Wow, kid, calm down.” He put his hands up with a smile before ruffling her hair. The curls lay slack just slightly past her shoulders. The glow of summer still standing out from the brown strands. “We’ll see when we get there, okay?” She nodded her head; stand to move to her room. “Where you going?”
“To do some research,” she said. She popped into her room, grabbing the stack of magazines Nancy had left on her night stand. She walked to the dining table, taking the red grading pen that always sat there. She opened each page, circling each item of clothing she liked. She finally had something, another moment she could grasp onto.
She had been thinking about school nonstop. She was nervous about interacting with the other students, but got plenty of practice in during the summer. She was excited to know where her locker would be, and what classes she had and when. Now she had something else she hadn’t even thought about. What she was going to wear every day when she got to leave the cabin.
“I can’t buy you a trunk load of things though,” Hopper said from the couch, eyes glued to the T.V.
“I would be fine with anything,” El said, circling a corduroy red skit. She sat there for the next hour, looking through outfits and looking at every girl’s hair style. She touched the hair on her shoulders, a small smile forming on her face.
…
Mike and Will raced to his house, the freedom of Will being to use his bike being fairly new. The heavy wind flew into their face, a few spits of water falling cold as they went. They both rested their bikes against the house, Will following Mike into his basement. Mike threw his shoes off, his scarf coming off next before he plopped onto the couch.
“So Byers,” Mike said, watching his friend do the same as him. Mike grabbed a small pillow from the side of the couch, hugging it to his stomach before he looked to his friend. “What is the matter at which we are discussing my friend?” he said inquisitively. Will gave him a small smile before melting into the back of the couch.
“I got this weird feeling today,” His smile slowly disappeared as Mikes stomach began to drop. “I don’t think anything is wrong, but it just made me think of it; that monster.” Mike adjusted himself on the couch, reaching for Will’s hand to reassure him.
“El closed the gate,” he said softly. He thought about that statement, the name rolling off his lips feeling slightly foreign. How long had it been since he truly said her name out loud. “Maybe you should talk to her about it. If anyone can understand it would be her.” Mike took his hand away from Will’s, both boys giving each other a small smile.
“I think she’s coming to my house for dinner tomorrow night.” Mikes body perked up. “Hopper told my mom he’s been saving some money to go shopping for more normal clothes; since she’ll be in school starting January.” Mike tried to picture her picking out colorful clothes, all mismatched, but she would still make them look good.
“Could I come over?” The question slipped out before he even thought of it. “I mean, I just haven’t seen her in a while. I think Dustin was the last one to drop off homework to the cabin.”
“I’m sure it would be fine, as long as you’re okay with Hopper glaring at you the entire time.”
“I’m used to it. I think he’s still mad at me for letting her jump off the low rocks in the quarry.” They both laughed; Will shaking his head.
“We all jumped off the low rocks, he just need to get over it.” Will stood from his seat, grabbing his back pack and slipped on his shoes. “I’ll let my mom know you’re coming home with me tomorrow. We need to work on that history project anyway.” They waved good bye to one another, Mike closing the basement door behind him. He looked towards the blanket fort that sat against the wall, thinking of all the summer days they spent under it; teaching her science, literature, history, and people’s names throughout the town. It had felt so long ago, even though it had only been three weeks since they had truly talked to one another.
He walked over to the fort, switching on his walkie talkie. He lay back against the wall, before trying to find the right thing to say.
“Hey El,” he started. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
…
El had heard of the phrase shop till you drop, but she didn’t know it was a literal thing. Hopper said they would only get a few things, but neither of them expected Joyce to show up in the middle of their excursion; all three grabbing an ice cream from Scoops Ahoy before continuing through the mall. As they stepped outside after hours of being indoors, the sun was about to set.
“I’ll see you back at my place,” Joyce said sliding the last bag into the back of Hopper truck. She grabbed El’s shoulder with a smile. “I can’t wait to see you in all these clothes.”
“Thank you for the help,” she said back to the woman. They parted ways, El and Hopper starting up the truck, watching Joyce drive away.
“That was a good hall kid. I think you’re good for a while.” El nodded her head fast with excitement.
“I think I found almost everything I’ve ever dreamed about.” She said happily. “All I have now is my placement exam.” She looked ahead in determination.
“You got it kid, that test will be nothing compared to what you’ve been learning in the past few weeks.”
“Dustin said I was ahead of him in my studies.” El’s smile grew on her face, because just a few months before she had cried to Mike about how stupid she was. Now, she felt intelligent; she felt like nothing was going to get in her way.
“Just don’t stress about it. Sometimes stress makes you forget stuff before an exam.” Hopper turned down the road, flicking on his lights as the sky got darker.
“That happens?” El could feel a bubble form in the middle of her stomach. What if she forgot everything? What if she couldn’t even remember her real name and put Eleven by mistake?
“As I said,” Hopper continued looking over to her with a small smile. “Don’t stress, you’ll be fine.” They pulled down the Byers long drive, the road making El bounce around in her seat. She thought about how the exam would look. What if she forgot how to read? She shook her head. She was going to be fine; it was all going to be fine.
They parked the truck, Hopper opening the door before El could even get her seat belt off. The cold hair sent a chill to her cheeks, moving through her body like she had never felt before. She froze in her motion, the cold settling with unease in her body. It felt off in some way, like it was trying to tell her to go away.
“Come on kid,” Hopper said opening her door. She slipped out of the car, looking around the outside of the house; seeing nothing but trees. “Oh great,” Hopper voice sounded disappointed. El looked up, following his gaze to two bikes that sat against the house. Mikes bike hidden under Will’s. A smile grew big on her face, all worries disappearing as she moved past the man and to the house. She opened the door without nocking, he eyes settling on Nancy and Jonathon on the couch looking at photographs.
“El,” Nancy said with a smile. She stood from her spot, walking over to the girl and giving her a big hug. “It’s so good to see you.” El squeezed her back, Nancy’s perfume giving her comfort. “How are the studies coming? Do you need any more books?” EL nodded her head at the question.
“I’m almost done with physics,” she said with a proud smile. “I’ve also moved onto statistics.” Nancy’s eyebrows rose.
“I haven’t even moved onto statistics,” She moved back to Jonathan who gave her a small wave. “Who’s teaching you that?”
“Mr. Clark teaches a night class at the community college.” She looks down at the floor shyly. “I’ve been watching over at night.” Nancy stares at her in amazement while Jonathan placed his pictures onto the coffee table.
“That’s incredible,” Nancy said softly.
“Maybe you could be my tutor, the one I have now is too distracting.” Jonathan laughed, Nancy smacked his arm playfully.
“Mom,” El’s head turned toward the kitchen, Will appearing in front of her. “Can we barrow your sewing stuff?” He turned his head toward her, disregarding anything his mom had to say before moving to El to give her a big hug. Hopper moved around them, the smell of cigarette smoke freshly following his trail. “Mikes helping me with a project,” he grabbed her hand pulling her down the hall. “We’ve been trying to figure out what materials to make our history project out of.” Will’s room was filled with colored paper, clothe, and paint, Mike sitting in the middle of the mess trying to cut out a small cloth in the shape of a shirt.
He looked up at her, dropping everything in his hands before jumping into her arms. They both laughed slightly, holding one another tightly swaying back and forth. He pulled apart from her, planting a kiss on her forehead before bringing her into another tight hug.
“I’ve missed you so much,” He said almost squeezing the air out of her.
“You know I’m here too right,” Will said jokingly, witting in the center of the messy floor. Mike grabbed her hand, pulling her to his spot on the floor. She looked around at their mess, trying to decipher what they were doing.
“How does this pertain to history?” she asked.
“Pertain,” Mike said; impressed. “We are trying to make the theatre seen from when Lincoln was shot.” Mike pointed to a cardboard replica of a theatre. “Will and his abilities made that, now we are trying to make the people and their clothes.” El nodded her head, picking up a yellow sheet of paper while the boys started cutting clothes again.
“Do you have to do stuff like this a lot?” she asked. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it. Being creative was kind of hard for her. Most of the time she could barely draw a stick figure.
“Not all the time. Mostly once a year everyone gets a project like this, but you don’t have to do what we’re doing. One group is writing a paper, another is putting together a play to perform in class.” Will shrugged his shoulders.
“Do you have to talk in class?” she asked nervously.
“Yeah,” Mike said bumping his shoulder into hers. “But it’s not that bad. You get used to it.” El nodded her head watching the boys work. She listened to them talk about people she had never heard of, a name called Stacey that made Will blush and Mike seem angry.
“Dustin said you almost fell asleep in class today,” Mike said. Will stopped his cutting rolling his eyes.
“Well when we turn the lights low to read it makes me sleepy,” Mike stared at Will hard, Will staring back.
“It had nothing to do with that feeling you had yesterday?” El perked up at his words; Will let out a sigh of frustration.
“Subtle,” Will said looking to El. “He wants me to ask you a question El.” Mike rolled his eyes this time. “I mean it’s not really a question, more of me telling you something and you responding. I mean I guess that is a question.”
“Will,” El said softly. “It’s okay.” She watched as his face changed from thoughtful, to scared, and then to sad.
“I’ve been feeling something,” Will said looking up to her. “Like a cold draft that settles inside of me.” El’s stomach dropped. The feeling that she had been having, he was feeling it too. She looked away from him, to the bare walls of his room. The last time she had set foot in this house it had been covered in papers, now Will had taken everything off his walls; leaving them bare. “I know you closed the gate,” he continued. “I guess I was just wondering if it could be something else; maybe the gate opened on its own?”
“um,” she looked around the room trying to think; Mike put down what he was doing to look at her.
“No pressure El,” he said to her. “He might just be having PTSD. Plus it’s gotten pretty cold out so it might just be that too.” El tried not to lock eyes with Mike.
“I can feel it too,” She said in a small voice. She looked up at Will, their eye locking for only a second; her eyes falling to her lap. “But, I closed the gate. I don’t know what else it would be. Maybe we both have this PTSD.”
“Post-Traumatic Stress, it happens after major events.” Mike said to her. She nodded her head, recognizing it from somewhere.
“Yeah,” Will said softly. “It could just be the time of year.” He picked up his scissors, starting the fabric he was working on. “I’m not seeing anything, so as long as that’s not happening.” They all smiled at that, Mike starting to work with his materials again too.
El thought about his words, about how short they were. Was it the time of year? She had felt it coming too, she had felt it yesterday at the cabin. No matter how much she bundled herself up she was still cold; like someone had filled her with ice cubes.
…
“Thanks for coming out today,” Hopper stood at the sink with Joyce; his hands wrist deep in warm soapy water. “I’m sure it meant a lot to her; meant a lot to me.” Joyce smiled at him, drying a plate he handed to her. The kids laughed in the living room as they played with the T.V. dial.
“She deserves the world Hop,” Hopper could feel his chest grow warm. “I just hope this is it, you know? We can finally live again; maybe better than we did before.” Hopper felt a smile grow on his face, a question forming on the tip of his tongue. He let the stress of work fade away today; he let himself forget about what it was like before this. It was all he ever wanted in life, to just live and be happy.
“Would living involve more of us?” He asked slowly. He glanced at her from the side of his eyes, picking up forks in the water; scrubbing them.
“I would hope so,” she said softly. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Mom, I’m taking Nancy and Mike home,” Jonathan interrupted. Both adults turn to look at them both, Jonathan’s eyes mostly on Hopper. “I won’t be long.” Nancy gave a soft smile, moving past Jonathan into the living room.
“Drive safe,” Joyce said before turning back to drying the dishes.
“Yeah,” he kept his eyes on Hopper, the man feeling a little discomfort from him. He wasn’t surprised, wanted to make sure his mother didn’t fall into a mess like the Bob situation was.
“I’ve been thinking about moving,” Joyce said once Jonathan was out of the room. “I haven’t said anything to the boys, but I’ve been looking in the paper, and driving by different houses.” Hopper nodded his head. The thought of moving had played in his head as well. He wanted to get El a real home; one that would be closer to school and town.
“I’ve been doing the same,” he said to her. “Have you found anything worth looking into?”
“There’s an old house on the other side of town, closer to the school, but out on its own. I thought, if anything were to happen again, we would need something still away from people.” Hopper nodded his head in understanding. “With the money we got from, you know, everything, I would be able to buy something better. This house is a little big though, a lot of rooms.”
“Does it have updates, has it been inspected?” Hopper asked.
“Maybe you should come with me and look. You know that stuff better than I do.” She said to him. They stopped what they were doing to look at one another. “Of course only if you wanted to. I just,” she stopped to think about what to say next. “I had a thought, about both of our living situations.”
“As in, we live together?” A smile formed on his face again, going back to cleaning the silver that remained at the bottom of the sink. “I don’t know,” he said jokingly. “A little birdy told me you attract danger. I don’t think I could live with someone like that.” She smacked his arm with her towel laughing. “When did you want to go?” He asked, his laugh quickly disappearing.
“As in, you would want to look with me?” she asked him slowly.
“I think it’s a great idea.” He handed her the last fork. “El needs a mom figure. She needs a family, a support system, and I think Will does too.” He watched as tears filled Joyce’s eyes, but she didn’t dare let them drop.
“I think it’s a good idea too.” Hopper drained the sink, letting Joyce wipe down the counters in silence. He listened to Will and El talk in hushed tones in the living room. A comfort grew inside him he hadn’t felt in a long time.
…
Mike didn’t want to let El go. He gave her a small kiss on the lips, their foreheads touching before Nancy pulled him away from her. She gave him a shy wave good-bye, him doing the same before he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Do you think my mom likes Hopper?” Jonathan said through the silence of the car. He pulled out of their long drive way, his forehead crinkled in thought.
“I think it’s cute,” Nancy said looking to her boyfriend.
“Adult romance is gross,” Mike said. He tried to picture his parents being in love, getting the shivers in disgust.
“Oh, grow up,” Nancy said back to him. “You can’t talk about gross the way you and El act around each other.” Mike rolled his eyes. He found it different, because they were meant to be together. He was supposed to find her in the woods that day; there would have been no other way.
“I just,” Jonathan thought before he started thinking again. “My mom still cries at night. She thinks we can’t hear her, but we do and I think it’s about Bob.”
“She’s probably traumatized,” Mike said to him. “She was there, you know, when it happened. I wouldn’t expect her to be fine after seeing that.”
“Yeah but,” Jonathan look at him through the rear view mirror. “I just don’t think she should jump into anything so fast.”
“It’s been a year,” Nancy said. “She can’t wait forever.”
“Yeah,” he said sadly. “I guess I’m just over reacting.”
“I mean it is your mom,” Nancy said. “They say sons have a special bond with their mothers.” Mike rolled his eyes, thinking about his mother. Their closest bond was over arguing who would help Holly next.
“I’m ready to be done with this conversation,” Mike said.
“Then maybe we can talk about your special bond with El,” Nancy said jokingly. Her and Jonathan giggled while Mike grumbled under his breathe. To be honest he wouldn’t mind talking about El, but for some reason talking about her with Nancy made him blush. He thought that maybe she wouldn’t get it, that she would laugh at him and what he had to say about love.
The car ride was longer than he wanted it to be, and when Jonathan stopped in front of their house he jumped out of the car before he could witness the two make out. He got his bike from the trunk of the car, riding it down the drive way to the back of the house. Today he wouldn’t call El, only because he knew she was with Will; the thought making him slightly mad. He wanted alone time with El, something that didn’t came with their relationship. Hopper made sure someone would always be with them, and even though he was grateful to be able to see her, he was also frustrated.
He wanted to ask her question that seemed private, things like what her favorite color was and why, or what was her favorite thing about walking around the woods. He knew a lot about El, but if they were being personal, if they were being a couple, he didn’t know anything about her.
“Mike?” he mom yelled from the top of the stairs. He kicked his shoes off, running up from the basement and into the kitchen. His mother stood at the sink, Holly standing on a chair next to her. She was helping their mother dry the easy things while his mother washed the heavy and sharp things. “Did you finish the project?” She asked without turning around. Mike walked to the fridge, pulling out the apple juice and grabbing a clean glass.
“I think we still have some minor things to do, but it’s looking good. Will made a really cool theater out of a cardboard box and construction paper.” Mike shrugged his shoulders while Holly watched him poor himself some juice. He looked over to his sister, grabbing the sippy cup she was attempting to dry; poring a small amount. Holly’s face little up, bouncing slightly as he handing the cup to her.
“That’s great hon,” His mother said. “Say thank you Holly.”
“Thanks Mike,” She said loudly. “I like the color pink!” she yelled holding her cup in the air. The conversation died there, his mother asking her what else she liked. Holly went on her list, somethings harder to understand through her toddler talk. Mike sat against the counter, thinking about his night.
He felt a relief fill him, knowing that El was still there and not just a pretend figure he talk to at night. Sometimes he thinks she’s still missing, that all their time spent together in the past year was all made up. It made him feel better when he got to see her with his own eyes; when he got to hold her hand and kiss her head.
“You know what I heard today,” His mom said as Holly finished her list. “Chief Hopper and Joyce Byers were shopping with a young girl today.” Mike looked up from his juice his mother stealing a glance at him. “Did she say anything about it tonight?” Mike tried to figure out what to say. They had been good over the summer, spending a lot of their time in the woods and away from the public.
“Um,” He thought about this next semester coming up. He thought about how much the party gets together in the basement after school. She was going to find out sooner or later, and with the way gossip spread through town it would probably be sooner. “I think Hopper was thinking of adopting.” His mother gasped at his words.
“Hopper with a new child?” She dried her hands on her apron, fully turning to him. “Have you met her? Was she there tonight? Are Hopper and Joyce together?” Mike rolled his eyes, wishing he had kept his mouth shut.
“I don’t know the details. I have talked to her, but I don’t really know her.” His mother nodded at his words. He gulped down his last sip; squeezing in-between to two females to rinse out his glass. He moved out of the kitchen before his mother could ask him anything else, watching as she moved for the phone.
…
El lay on her bed, looking up at the ceiling as Hopper played music from the record player. She thought about Will’s words, that feeling of cold that she couldn’t really get rid of. It was almost as if his words had made it worse, her stomach was starting to hurt, and all she could think about was the big monster behind the gate.
She hadn’t put her new clothes away yet. She was going to save it for tomorrow, giving her something to do while Hopper was at work. So, when he walked into her room he stumbled slightly on her shopping bags.
“I’ll be leaving early tomorrow,” He told her, kicking a bag out of the way. “I was wondering if we could put reading tonight on hold, I need to catch up on some sleep.” El twisted her face slightly.
“Okay,” she said sitting up. “I think I might go to sleep early too, I haven’t been sleeping well.” Hopper nodded his head; turning her light off as he walked out. She heard the scratch of the record as he picked the needle up. She moved to the top of her bed, undoing the covers to move under them. The sheets were cold, and in the silence of the cabin the whistle of the wind outside was deafening. She gave a little shiver, curling into a ball before closing her eyes.
Jane,” she heard a boy yell. She was standing barefoot in the grass, the trees standing tall around her. She could hear kids laughing, people in the field in front of her playing Frisbee. The sun was sinning bright on her skin, but did nothing to warm her cold body. “Jane?” The boy touched her shoulder, his baseball bat sticking out of the top of his backpack. “Mom and dad are waiting, let’s go.” She nodded her head, turning with the boy to walk through the big park.
“Who is dad?” she asked him as they walked the gravel of the parking lot not bothering her bare feet.
“What do you mean?” He laughed. “Did you see that ball I caught in the second inning? I was on a roll today. I’m pretty sure moms going to lose her voice from all the yelling.” El stared at the boy in confusion. Where was she? She felt a chill run up her legs, into the core of her stomach.
“Come on guys,” A man yelled from a yellow car. She spotted her mother standing by the passenger door, her face pale, her eyes dark. The boy pulled her by the arm, moving closer to his mother and giving her a hug before pilling into the car. She slowly approached her mother, looking up at her face.
“Mama?” her mother didn’t look at her, just staring straight ahead. “Mom?” El touched the woman’s arm, the cold skin making her jump back. “You’re cold,” she said to her. “Let’s get in the car.”
“Rainbow,” her mother said softly. El felt her stomach drop, something familiar dancing at the tip of her tongue.
“What?”
“Three to the right,”
“What are you saying?”
“Four to the left,”
“Mom,” The woman looked down at her, her eyes stern.
“Leave,” she said strongly. She grabbed El’s arm strongly; El tried to break free. Her mother’s face came close to hers. “It’s coming.” She could feel the cold over whelm her as her mother’s face started to melt. Everything around her melted like ice cream, slipping away to a blackness she was all too familiar with.
“El,” She moved fast, grabbing the warm hand the rested on her shoulder, moving toward the wall her bed sat against. She gasped in air, seeing a warm glow of light fill the room. “It was just a dream,” Hopper said, finding a set next to her on the bed. She couldn’t breathe; it was as if she had been running for hours. “You’re okay,” he said placing his hand back on her shoulder.
She slowly laid her head back on the pillow, Hopper sitting watch as she tried to calm herself down. She hadn’t really dreamed of her mother before, and to be honest she hadn’t seen her since her big mistake of going to Chicago. She thought she could still feel the woman’s hand gripping her; she could still she the world around her melting.
What’s coming? She thought. What was going to happen? Of course it was just dream. Maybe nothing was coming. Maybe the talk she had with Will had set something off in her brain, maybe she was finally hitting that point of going crazy. She had heard stories of men going crazy after war. Was that the PTSD Mike had told her about?
After a few minutes of Hopper rubbing circles on her back she began to forget what she had even dreamt about. He asked if she were okay, she simply just nodded. He left the light on for her as he walked back out to her bed. The silence leaving thoughts of war to play; figure of wild dogs and shadow beings fighting against her.