Archive of Our Own ^beta

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The pictures had shown up on his desk one day. He had no idea where they had come from. Someone had had a camera on the flight deck the day all the New Caprica survivors had come home. There was a picture of Kara bent over picking up a child, one with unruly blonde curls. Then she was holding the child, her arms protectively around her, and Kara’s face was lit up with emotion - he hesitated to call it something so mundane as love. In the next photo, she looked broken - hunched over with her arms wrapped around herself, and an expression he hadn’t seen since Zak’s funeral. These pictures made it clear that she’d loved that child, and Kara’s behavior during the readjustment period made so much more sense now.

What had happened while Kara was on New Caprica? Surely someone would have told him if Kara’d had a baby, even though it’d been no secret that they were no longer friends. He wondered what had happened to the child; even though he and Kara become friends again - and more - she’d had never mentioned a little girl.

And now Kara was gone, he had this almost desperate desire to find the child - find her and understand her link to Kara. Were her memories of Kara happy ones? Did she miss Kara? Could seeing her give him something of Kara to hold on to, something to ease the ache of losing her?

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Lee sucked in a breath, suddenly nauseated. The combination of blonde hair and blue eyes weakened his knees. Kara had never expressed an interest in having children, the opposite in fact, and it had been a very long time since he’d let the thought of children of his own cross his mind. But for a few heartrending seconds, this Kacey was the best of him and Kara, and his chest hurt with how much he wished it was real.

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She’d never been a lazing around in a hot bath kind of girl before, but this was changing her mind. The mud oozed up around her, releasing comforting bubbles of warmth against her skin, relaxing the tension that had begun to tighten its grip on her over the last few weeks. She’d worked hard since they’d found this planet, harder than she’d ever expected to work settling paradise. This place was a serendipitous reward, maybe not the best reward she could have dreamed up, but a pretty great one. She’d sleep so good tonight.

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The bed creaked, and he froze for a moment, but she was already awake.

“Hi.” She smiled sleepily at him. “You’re home early.”

“The conference was boring. I’d rather be with you.”

“Okay.”

She was asleep again almost immediately, and he just sat there, amazed at how peaceful her features were in slumber. He stripped, emptying his pockets onto the dresser and tossing his clothes in the hamper. He crawled into bed and kissed her forehead softly.

“Glad you’re home,” she mumbled and snuggled into his chest. “Love you.”

How had he gotten so lucky?

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She watched William Adama - was she supposed to call him Dad now? - holding the baby, listening to Kacey chatter at him nonstop, about everything she had ever done in her entire life, it sounded like, and she laughed softly.

This time last year, her life had been so different. Everyone’s had, but she’d never imagined this. She went outside, finding Lee turning the meat spits, glowing with sweat and something she hoped was at least contentment, if not happiness.

“Hey. How’s Dad?” He stood up and put his arm around her shoulders.

She laughed. “Checking the baby’s fingers and toes, again, and listening to Kacey like she’s the conduit from the gods.”

“He wasn’t around much when we were kids. I’ve never seen him like this.” Lee shook his head.

“Hey, Lee? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“What made you decide to come find me? There are thousands of women on this planet, and you came looking for me. I’ve always wondered why.” She watched as color rushed up his face, into the tops of his ears. “Lee?”

His arm tightened. “You’re gonna think I’m crazy if I tell you.”

“Lee, we’re all crazy. We fought cylons for years and settled on a planet we weren’t even looking for. We’re all battle-scarred. What’s a little crazy on top of that?”

Still he hesitated, looking at his feet, then the meat, delaying his answer. He opened his mouth, closed it again.

“Never mind. Someday you’ll tell me.”

“Kara. It was Kara.”

She looked up at him, wide-eyed. “Kara? Kara who saved Kacey, Kara?”

“She saved Kacey? How?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute. She died, didn’t she, Lee? The day we got here?”

Something passed across his face, and he nodded, eyes off in the distance. “Yeah.”

“So how did she make you come looking for me?”

“That’s the crazy part, Julia. Are you sure you want to hear it?” He looked down at her, and she saw a hunger in his gaze. He wanted to tell her.

“I’m sure, Lee. Tell me.”

He pulled her into his chest and started talking. “She came to see me. After.”

“After she died?”

She felt him nod, but it was a few seconds before he answered, “Yeah.”

“And?”

“We took a walk. She talked a little about Zak. About how much she’d loved me, even though she had never been able to tell me. And she told me she needed me to love somebody again, that she even had her picked out.”

“She came back just for that?”

“It seemed pretty important to her. I thought I was hallucinating, honestly. And I told her that I’d never loved anybody like I’d loved her.”

She felt his cheek on her hair. “You told each other you loved each other. Where do I come into this?”

Lee’s laugh was a little sad, but still a laugh. “She said I needed to be needed, and you needed someone who could handle a little hard work, and that I was good at that…” His voice trailed off.

“That’s not all of it, is it, Lee?”

“No. She said she couldn’t wait to meet my children. They were going to be beautiful. There was such, I don’t know, awe, in her voice? Like she’d seen them already or something. I fell asleep out there, and when I woke up, I figured I’d just been dreaming, and went about my business. But it was like she had dug into my head, and when I didn’t do anything about it for a couple of days, she started bugging me about it. Constantly.” He laughed again. “Kara Thrace in nag mode is impossible to ignore.”

She let it go that he’d said is, and asked, “So Kara hounded you into finding a new love. That is crazy.”

“Right?”

“Are you happy, Lee? With me, I mean? And Kacey?”

He pushed her away, just enough to take hold of her face and look her in the eyes. “Happier than I ever imagined I could be. My best friend was dead, along with nearly everyone else I knew. My dad was gone, gods knew where. My mother-figure was dead or dying. And you. You were here. You needed me. Kacey is amazing. And I’m happy. Are you?”

She tilted up her head to kiss him softly, then put her head back on his chest. “Yeah. I’m happy.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Bill looked out the window, his attention divided between Kacey, and the baby, and what looked like a serious conversation out by the fire.

“See, Old Man? Didn’t I tell you you’d wanna be here to meet her?” She stroked the baby's cheek. "She’s gorgeous, huh?"

Bill nodded.

“Kawa, Kawa!” Kacey jumped up and down, and they both looked down at her.

“Hey, nugget. How you doing?” She looked up at Bill, a sideways grin on her face. “Ooops. I didn’t know she could see me.”

***

When Kacey told her mom that “Kawa” had been there, Bill didn’t know what to make of the look Julia and Lee shared. They smiled and hooked their fingers together, and nodded.

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Hera shut the drawer, blinked, and opened the drawer again. Still there. She stuck her hand in the drawer and picked one up. These looked just like those other ones.

Hera watched as the man walked through town with his friend, silver bracelets on his wrists. She overheard someone say, “It’s about time. I thought they’d never catch him.”

“Was he running?”

The woman’s head whipped around and she looked down at Hera. “Was who running?”

“That man. You said you thought they’d never catch him.”

“Oh! No. He’s been stealing stuff for a couple of months, and I’m just glad that they caught him and arrested him.”

“Did he steal the bracelets? Is that why they made him wear them?”

The woman laughed. “Those aren’t bracelets. Those are handcuffs. They use handcuffs to keep bad guys from hitting people or getting away.”

“Oh.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“You and Mommy aren’t bad guys, right?”

“What? No! Of course we’re not. What makes you think we might be?”

“These were in the drawer by your bed. If you aren’t bad guys, why do you have these?”

Daddy laughed, then covered his face with his hands and said, “That is a very good question, Hera. I think your mother can explain it better than I can.”

“Okay.” Hera skipped off toward the back door. She showed them to Mommy and told her what Daddy had said to ask. She didn’t understand why Mommy got a mad look on her face and yelled, “Karl Agathon! You are in trouble, mister!” as she stomped toward the house.

Dinner was quiet, with Mommy and Daddy not really looking at each other, but later, when she was reading in her room after lights out, she heard them laughing. Daddy must have apologized.

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It had been a long day and Helo was exhausted. On top of that, no one, not even Kara or Sharon, had remembered his birthday. Lights out had come and gone, and he was drifting off when someone quietly pulled the curtain back and fumbled over his chest to his chin.

It was a woman - he could smell shampoo or lotion or something - and she leaned over, covered his cheeks with her hands and kissed him. It was gentle and lazy and felt so frakkin' good, and it took his brain a minute to remember he wasn’t supposed to be doing this without Sharon. He had his hands on her shoulders to push her away, but she pulled back, darted in to kiss him one more time, and whispered, “Happy Birthday.” Then she raced for the hatch, and all he could see of her in the corridor light was a hoodie and her ass in sweatpants.

He didn’t think anyone else knew when his birthday was, but Sharon was still in the brig, and that definitely hadn’t been Kara. Kara smelled different, and her ass didn’t look like that in sweatpants, or out of them, his tired mind suggested. He probably shouldn’t go there.

He fell asleep visualizing Galactica’s women parading across a stage in sweat pants until he figured out who his mystery visitor had been, and dreamed of Kara and Sharon fighting over who got to shank “Cinderella.”

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They were dry and brittle, bound by an ugly ribbon woven from scraps of discarded clothing. They’d been a gift from someone who had not made it off New Caprica.

His hand squeezed hers. His lips tasted salty, and they were peeling. The flowers, and the reason behind them, were the most beautiful part of that night. She could hardly look at them without crying, but she hadn’t been able to make herself throw them away.

She swallowed, took in their faded glory, and slammed the locker shut. Maybe tomorrow she could get rid of them.

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“I just can’t get used to this.”

Sam looked up from his book. “Can’t get used to what, babe?”

“The dark. It gets dark every night. It’s not natural.”

Sam laughed. “Actually, Kara, this planet revolves around its sun, just like every other planet, and getting dark every night is the very definition of natural.”

“Gods. Do you have to be so...literal, Sam?” She flicked her fingers in his direction.

“Well, I could pretend to be scared every night and beg you to protect me from the boogie man. He won’t come at night if you’re naked.”

The corner of her mouth turned up.

“We’re here for the long haul, Kara. Do you think you’ll ever get used to it?”

“I don’t know, Sam. I don’t know about a lot of things.”

“Do you know if you’re going to come to bed tonight? I’m cold, and this book is boring.”

She pulled the tent flaps together and tied them closed, then walked toward him. “Do I have to get naked? Am I on boogie man duty?”

“I did hear a rumor that he’d be making the rounds tonight. Maybe you should.” He grinned up at her, and she leaned over to kiss him.

“Well, if you’re scared of the boogie man, guess I’ll have to do my wifely duty…” She worked the buttons down the front of her jacket, her mouth quirked as if in thought.

“I can think of other wifely duties that might be more fun.” He reached out and pulled at the leg of her pants.

“Yeah?” She stripped out of the rest of her shirts and undid the fly of her pants. “You’re so thoughtful, Sam. I’m such a lucky girl.”

He wished she actually meant that. He wondered how long it would be before the never-ending daylight of the battlestar lured her away from him.

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“That is not the way it happened, Leland Adama, and you know it.”

He looked up, and Kara was leaning against the porch railing, looking exactly the same as she had the last time he’d seen her. “Kara?”

“Yeah, Grandad?”

“Oh my gods, Lee, you named one of your grandchildren after me?” Kara snorted.

“Not you. I mean, I didn’t.”

“Grandad, are you all right?” Kara stood next to his porch swing and ruffled his hair. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kara, the first Kara, fidgeting. “Yeah, baby, I’m okay. I think I’m going to take a little walk, though. Can you finish the story this time?”

She smiled at him. “Of course I can. How many times have I heard it? You sure you don’t want company?”

“I’m fine. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll stay in sight, okay?”

She nodded and started into the story right where he’d left off. Once he was far enough away, he asked, “What are you doing here, Kara?”

“Remember how I said I wasn’t coming back?” She shrugged a shoulder. “I was wrong. Now, I wanna hear how one of your grandchildren is named after me.”

“I didn’t name her, Kara. Kacey did.”

“Oh.” She chewed her lip for a minute. “Kacey has kids?”

Lee nodded. “Kara’s not hers, but yes, she’s got kids. That’s not really why you’re here, though, is it?”

“Well, it might be. I don’t know why I’m here. It was just time to come back. Guess somebody needs me.”

“I’m not sure anybody’s left who knew you, Kara. Not in this settlement, anyway.”

“You knew me. And Kacey did.” She brushed her fingers against his and stopped walking. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, Kara. That’s not - no. That’s not what I’m saying at all.” He was getting winded, and he hated to admit it to Kara. “I need to sit somewhere, Kara. I’m not as young as I used to be.”

Kara laughed, and looked him up and down. “I noticed. Guess no one calls you Apollo anymore.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Not really, Kara, no.”

“You sound like you’re mad at me, Lee. I’m sorry I left. I didn’t really have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice, Kara. You just left! Disappeared. There one minute, gone the next. Gods! I hated you for a long time.”

“As much as you hated me after I married Sam?”

“More.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kara watched Grandad arguing with Kara Thrace. He was gesticulating wildly, and she could almost hear his voice from here. She’d heard stories from some of the older people, Chief Tyrol especially, about how Lee Adama and Kara Thrace had loved and fought in equal measure. Watching them now, she could believe it. In her entire life, she’d never seen him so passionate about anything. She kept half an eye on them while she finished the story and sent the kids back to their parents.

When Kara Thrace walked Grandad back to the house, she hugged him and told him good night, waited for him to walk inside, and turned back to the other Kara. “If you’re not staying this time, you need to leave now. It took him years to get over you the last time, and he can’t do that again. He’s not strong enough.”

Kara Thrace was standing there staring at her, her mouth open and her arms crossed over her chest. She sniffed. “I didn’t want to leave last time. I didn’t have a choice. Is he happy?”

“He was. Most of the time, until Gramma died. He pretends really well, but there aren’t many people left that he knew, and he’s lonely.”

“Kacey?”

“Aunt Kacey’s around, but she was practically a baby when we found this planet. She loves Grandad, but she didn’t know him back when.”

“How come you can see me?”

Kara shrugged. “Dunno. You’re not the only one I see. Grandad doesn’t know, so…”

“I won’t tell him.” She picked at her pants leg. “Do you think it would be better if I left? I don’t really know how to, though. Don’t know how I got here. Just had a weird pull and here I was, looking at Lee Adama as an old man.”

“Maybe that’s what you’re here for. Lots of times, I see people, ones I don’t know, right before the person they’re visiting dies. Maybe you’re here to take him home.”

“You sound so calm about that, Kara. It doesn’t bother you to think about your grandfather dying?”

“Of course it does! He’s my grandfather. The only grandparent I have left. I don’t want him to go, but everybody goes sometime. And if the last thing he sees is Kara Thrace, maybe he’ll die happy.”

Kara Thrace shook her head. “Lee was never like that about me.”

“You are a frakkin’ idiot.”

Kara Thrace laughed. “You are definitely my namesake. Got my balls out honesty, for sure. Tell me, why am I an idiot?”

“Because that man in there loves you. Always has. Years he waited for you to come back. Years of turning down dates, and sitting on the sidelines watching other people get married and have babies. He married my Gramma, but I’m not sure he ever looked at her the way he was looking at you when you walked up this afternoon.” She turned in a circle, scanning the group of houses nearby. “Nobody’ll be back tonight. If it works like it usually does, he doesn’t have much time.” Her voice cracked. “Can you at least stick around long enough to let him die happy?” She watched tears run down Kara Thrace’s cheeks as she nodded.

“Yeah. I think I can do that.”

Kara opened the door for the other Kara. “Go on. He deserves this. Don’t screw it up.”

Kara Thrace turned in the doorway. “I like you. If I’d ever had kids, I bet one of them would have been exactly like you. Thanks.”

Kara nodded and walked away.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kara walked into Lee’s bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. “So, Apollo, you wanna frak a girl for old time’s sake?”

Lee’s mouth dropped open, then he smiled. “I think the key word in that sentence is old.”

Kara leaned forward to kiss him. “I bet you’re as good once as you ever were. What was that thing you did that night?” He reached out and she let him pull her across his body and roll her over.

“That’s a little too energetic for me, Kara Thrace.”

“Let’s just take our time, then.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kara was up early, watching out the window, so she saw when Kara Thrace and Grandad came out the front door of his house. She’d known what was going to happen, but it still hurt. She pushed that aside for a little while, watched as Grandad, young as she’d only seen in pictures, picked up Kara Thrace and gave her a piggy-back ride across the field. He was happy. Happier than she’d ever seen him. She’d try to be okay with that.

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Playing Pyramid was a good way to get to know someone, as far as Sam was concerned, and this Kara was pretty good. Clever, good moves, played all out. He liked that in the competition. He didn’t like an easy win.

She went for the ball and they were plastered against each other for a moment, sweat beading everywhere, panting in each other’s faces. His mind shifted and she was above him, and they were panting and sweating for completely different reasons, and he hardened in his sweats.

She’d go all out in bed, too, and he couldn’t wait to feel her around him, playing to win.

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It had been a long time since she’d played with such abandon, but Sam Anders was taking everything she could dish out and coming back for more.

She pushed harder. She was playing to win, but losing to Sam Anders would still make it a good game.

She went for the ball and he was towering over her, his body up against hers and she grinned up at him, in love with the moment, the perfection of bodies in motion and sweat-slicked skin sliding.

His eyes changed, and she knew in that moment she’d frak him senseless, and that would be its own sweet victory.

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Felix had been brought to sickbay, ostensibly for another check-up, but instead he got a tour of injured and dying personnel.

“These are your choices, Gaeta. All of these people are here because you chose to mutiny.”

His escort was called away for a moment, and he looked around the room. He wasn’t ashamed of what he had done - he’d had good intentions. The fleet had been falling apart. As he scanned the room, his eyes caught on Sam Anders, lying in a bed with wires and tubes everywhere.

He turned and moved closer, fascinated with the fury he felt. Hate roiled through his body; he could use this time alone to strangle Anders with his bare hands. It would be just one more mark against him, and one more Cylon dead.

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“Hey, baby,” she said softly. Somewhere deep in his silicon pathways, he knew it was a dream.

He smiled up at her. “Hi. Have a good afternoon?”

“Mmm. I did.” She trailed her fingers across his shoulders as she walked around the edge of the bed. She stood over him, her calves on either side of his knees, and ran her finger through his cowlick, down his nose, slowing over his lips, giving him every chance to capture the tip of her finger with his lips.

He happily complied, reaching a hand forward to wrap around her thigh and pull her toward him. She collapsed onto her knees straddling him, laughing, and put her arms around his neck.

He let himself fall slowly backward onto the comforter until their lips met, and he ceded control to her. She was in the mood for lazy today. Fine with him. He could spend all evening kissing her. Had sometimes. She relaxed onto him, her body lined up with his, her kisses sweet and sensuous, unhurried.

Her elbows were planted just above his shoulders, and her hands sifted through his hair - it’d be sticking out every which way before they were done. She pulled her lips away and snuggled into him. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

He couldn’t see them, but he knew her eyes closed. She folded her arms up to her chest and rumbled sleepily when he wrapped his arms around her. Within minutes, she was asleep on top of him, and he sighed contentedly.

He knew it was just a dream, but he never wanted to be free of it.