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Jeno likes Renjun.
Well, it's not like Jeno has been pining on Renjun for a long, long time that one would expect, especially since they've been best friends for years. It just... gradually happened.
He has always looked at Renjun as if they're the best of friends. Partners in crimes. He'll even go as far as calling Renjun as his soulmate. But he has always meant it as a friendly manner — like his other half when it comes to being friends.
Renjun, as loud and playful he is, does have his own moments when he quiets down with a smile lingering on his lips, patiently listening to Jeno rant about how much schoolwork they have to do. Sometimes, he's the more affectionate one between them — their fingers always naturally intertwining or their hands sometimes lingering around the other's back, a quiet reminder that they're here for each other. It's not even a shock anymore when people see them holding hands or their arms thrown over each other's shoulders or even around their waists.
They're polar opposites, if Jeno is honest. People often point out their differences, a bright contrast of their personalities colliding with each other's. But Jeno and Renjun easily brush their comments off with a laugh, constantly saying that opposites attract after all.
But no one ever told Jeno that the attraction will extend beyond the limits of friendship and slip through the boundaries of a romantic relationship.
It started when Renjun crashed on his couch, too exhausted to walk over to his own dorm and the night was settling in too deep. His entire body was aching and he was genuinely in pain, his facial expressions always contorting into something that resembles distress and discomfort.
Jeno offered his bed, guiding the older boy to crash in it instead while he takes care of him. Jeno had planned to sleep on the couch once Renjun finally drifted off into dreamland but everything suddenly shattered when the smaller boy reached out to circle his fingers around Jeno's wrist. He still looked like he was dwelling in pain but nevertheless, he managed to spill the words past his tongue.
"Stay here with me for the night."
Jeno doesn't know why he hesitated. They shared a bed before when they were younger, when sleepovers were still a huge deal for both of their parents. It was a normal thing — something that they shouldn't bat an eyelash at and feel their heart racing uncontrollably at the thought of sharing a bed and body heat as well.
Jeno really doesn't know why.
His eyes flickered from the lamp illuminating the room in a quiet, hazy kind of glow to Renjun's expression. He almost said no — he really almost did but he stopped when his heart stilled at the way Renjun quietly tugged on his wrist, a silent plea for him to stay here. With him.
He couldn't say no after that.
Renjun curled up in his warm and comfortable embrace almost immediately, their arms circled around each other. Jeno shouldn't have felt like his heart will collapse every time Renjun's hair brushes against the crook of his neck as he presses his face on his shoulder. He shouldn't have felt like his heart will leap out of his chest every time Renjun finds himself wrapping his fingers around the front of Jeno's shirt to keep him close whilst mumbling incoherent words.
When Renjun finally fell asleep in his arms a little past after midnight, Jeno stared down at him, eyes flickering down and noticing how soft Renjun's rose-colored lips were. The thought I wonder what's it like to kiss him passed through his head unknowingly and it took a moment before he finally got dropped with the realization that perhaps, Renjun might be the sole reason why his heart constantly felt like it will explode because of the overwhelming emotions traveling through his veins.
That thought never left his mind — it creeped up on him through the days and weeks stretching out. The thought swirled around in his head every time Renjun and him sit side by side whilst studying for their own respective courses. His gaze never failed to travel from the words of his book to Renjun's soft, pink lips. The amount of times he wanted to inch closer and just press his lips against Renjun's is too many already.
It didn't help that he kept picking up Renjun's little habits too. The way he emits a bright laugh, clapping his hands together before covering his face with his plans to hide his own flushed cheeks. The way he would naturally find his way to Jeno's side, even if they're hanging out with their other friends. It's as if they're stuck to each other like perfect puzzle pieces that refuse to get separated.
(Donghyuck and Jaemin promptly complain that they feel like they're third wheeling Jeno and Renjun's date. Mark always seems exhausted over their complaining, flicking a cherry stem that came from his ice cream over to Donghyuck's side. Chenle and Jisung resolve to teasing both of them but Renjun only shushes them quick by playfully putting them in a headlock.)
Honestly, Jeno could easily burn his trail of thoughts about how pretty Renjun is and how he badly wants to kiss him until they all turn into ashes. But it's hard, especially when he sees Renjun almost every day of his life — it feels like it's an impossibility to even try and avoid him. It's natural for them to gravitate towards each other and curl their lips into bright smiles the moment their eyes meet. It's difficult to bury his feelings for Renjun, even if he tried to burn them and keep them within the spaces of his rib cage.
So, really, maybe Jeno does have valid reasons why he's doing this. Even when he's drunk as hell and his head is spinning from too many shots of vodka taken.
-
"Let's play spin the bottle!" Jeno yells, holding out the empty vodka bottle that he's been downing since the moment he walked in. He almost stumbles over the carpet, almost falling straight on the floor but he manages to stand up right with a lopsided grin playing the edges of his lips.
Jaemin rolls his eyes at him, tugging on his leather jacket to make him take a seat before pushing a glass of cold water in his hands. He easily takes the bottle of empty vodka out of Jeno's hold before gently putting it down in the center of the loose circle. Renjun is quiet yet he spares Jeno a worried glance, head inclining to the side as he eyes him with a small frown curling down on his lips.
"Spin the bottle? Are we still in high school?" Donghyuck snorts but even then, he grabs the bottle from the table, turning it upside down as if he's trying to empty out any of the drops that might have been stuck in it. He drops the bottle back on the floor, flashing a mischievous grin.
"But fine, since this party is boring and I need to snap embarrassing pictures for my own entertainment, let's do it!" Donghyuck hastily pulls Renjun close for a second, gesturing him to take his place. Donghyuck stands up, hastily crossing the circle until he finds his way between Jaemin and Jeno, fitting himself comfortably there. A few girls and boys immediately scoot over upon noticing them and excitedly place themselves within the loose circle, probably hoping to get a kiss from someone attractive in the group.
Jeno has fallen silent, head still spinning but thankfully, his mind is not that foggy anymore. His gaze settles on Renjun before he starts to subtly move a bit until he's right next to Mark. They're facing directly each other in the circle and Jeno grins in triumph, feeling like his plan will succeed and go through without any hitch.
"Why are you smiling like that?" Mark questions him, brows knitted together but Jeno doesn't reply — only choosing to shrug his shoulders in a playful manner at him before switching his attention back to Renjun. The other boy seems to be nursing a cup of alcohol but he doesn't look like he's anywhere near to being drunk as of the moment.
Donghyuck finally holds up a hand, silencing the group and stopping the chattering echoing. His lips curve upwards into a bright smile before he spins the bottle smoothly, letting the glass decide their fates on who will kiss who tonight.
As the bottle slows down, Jeno holds his breath, heartbeat suddenly echoing all too loudly within his chest. His gaze focuses on the glass as it finally takes its last few spins, stopping on two people that he didn't expect.
Renjun and Jaemin.
The two boys seem equally surprised as he is, wide eyes staring back at each other. The hesitation is obvious on both of their expressions but Jeno's mind is still hazy because of the alcohol that he drank a moment ago so he didn't manage to take note of it. He can't even tell them to stop because it's just going to look like he's being unreasonably jealous of two of his friends kissing. That sounds awfully ridiculous.
The rest of the group, except for Donghyuck and Mark, cheer them on so Renjun and Jaemin really don't have a choice. Jaemin inches closer to him until they're facing each other properly. He reaches out to cup his cheeks in a reluctant kind of way but Jeno can't really comprehend the kind of expression that crosses Jaemin's face since his back is directed at Jeno's.
The series of excited yells and cheers are all drowned out effectively when Jeno watches numbly as Jaemin leans in close hastily with eyes shut tight, their lips meeting in a soft and gentle kind of manner. It seems rather sweet in someone else's eyes but in Jeno's view, it churns his stomach in an uncomfortable way so his chest burns at the sight of it.
The kiss is short and Jaemin is the one who pulled away first with his cheeks burning and eyes still shut tight. When their eyes meet, Renjun's cheeks color themselves in a rose-colored tint before he bows his head to hide them while Jaemin quickly turns around to make his way back to his original place. He spares Jeno an apologetic glance but Jeno only shrugs, a small, reassuring smile curving on his lips.
It's not like it's Jaemin's fault so he doesn't bother. But still, he wants to kiss Renjun too. He really wants to. Maybe he can have another chance once the bottle spins again.
He's wrong.
Again.
The bottle spins a few times, making the group erupt into fits of giggles and laughter as kisses are hastily exchanged with burning cheeks. Donghyuck is quick enough to snap pictures, making sure to note their reactions eagerly while teasing them. The kiss between Jaemin and Renjun dissolves in Jeno's mind but still, he finds himself sulking when Renjun always seems to end up having to kiss someone else.
The bottle never lands on two of them and both of them are forced to kiss other people. God, Renjun even got to kiss Donghyuck and Mark and it really made Jeno want to bolt out of the party. Mark and Renjun share just a quick peck and they both refuse to do anything else beyond that, earning a few playful boos thrown at them. Donghyuck and Renjun are awkward — leaning in and knocking their foreheads together accidentally before finally kissing properly. It's a short kiss but still, it makes Jeno sulk as well.
It's kind of hilarious after a moment if the bottle lands on one of them and their friends but it's a different kind of matter when they kiss someone they don't even know. Jeno doesn't feel anything at all when he kisses someone else but still, his gaze flickers over to Renjun, trying to gauge his reaction. The older boy seems rather unresponsive about the whole thing, even looking bored as hell so Jeno can't deny that he feels a little... saddened over it.
"This is boring." One of the boys, that Jeno doesn't know at all yet he's sure that they shared a kiss a while ago, says out loud and the others agree almost immediately. One of them suggests to go dancing instead and that seems to lift the mood up, the other people leaving the circle in a hasty pace to head over to the living room. The circle is back to where it started — Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Mark.
"Uh, I'll be out," Jeno rises to his feet, stumbling again before patting his reddened cheeks in an attempt to prove his point, "need to cool down."
The others barely have enough time to react before Jeno hastily leaves, feet hitting too loudly as he makes his way to the garden. The wind wraps him up in a cold embrace, a refreshing kind of change compared to the stifling atmosphere inside the house.
He stares up at the sky, head still spinning a little but he's mostly sober for most of the part. The stars burn brightly in the night sky and the constellations are breathtakingly beautiful tonight.
Jeno would have continued to slip into his trail of senseless thoughts if it wasn't for a pair of familiar arms circling around his waist. He doesn't even have to turn around to see who it is.
"Hey," Renjun's voice sounds muffled as he buries his face on Jeno's shoulder, arms tightening around his waist. Jeno finds himself smiling slightly, his hands reaching down to place themselves down on Renjun's own hands, fingers intertwining. It feels comfortable and at home like this.
"Can we go home?" Renjun mumbles and Jeno's smile stretches into a grin, finally turning around to let the smaller boy fall comfortably in his warm embrace. His hand sifts through the strands of his hair carefully before he gently cups his cheek in his hand, the pad of his finger brushing against the curve.
"You know that we don't live in the same dorm, right?"
"I know," Renjun smiles up at him and he even leans in to playfully drop a kiss on Jeno's palm with a cheeky grin, "Can we go home now?"
Jeno knows that he can never say no to him.
"Okay."
-
"Hey," Renjun calls out after they made themselves comfortable on the couch, nursing their headaches by popping in some medicines and a glass of water. Even if they aren't roommates, Renjun hangs around here too much that he could have easily been mistaken as Jeno's roommate, even if Jeno has the whole place for himself.
"Hm?" He turns his head, eyeing the other boy with a curious gaze. Renjun shifts in his seat, snuggling close to Jeno's side before he leans over to place the glass on the coffee table instead. Jeno willingly welcomes him in his arms, letting the smaller boy curl up in his embrace once again, just like they always do.
"You seemed off during the party. Did something happen?" Renjun mumbles, a finger trailing along to trace the lines on Jeno's palm. Jeno doesn't answer but his cheeks burn all the same anyway as his throat goes dry, blinking rapidly.
Should he tell Renjun about it? About his feelings and how it hurts a lot to see him kiss other people even if it's actually his fault since he suggested the game?
"Not really."
"You're lying," Damn, he forgot that Renjun is quick at spotting lies when they slip past his lips. He heaves a deep sigh, finally putting down his own glass of water on the table before he turns to the other boy with a frown curling on his lips.
"Injun, don't freak out, okay?" Renjun stares at him, the confusion written all over his face but he nods slowly, tilting his head to the side. Jeno takes in a deep breath, stilling his wildly beating heart beneath his rib cage.
"I like you."
A stretch of silence echoes between them as Renjun's cheeks turn into a rosy hue, even if the room is dark due to the night settling in. Jeno thinks he looks awfully pretty like that.
"Oh," Renjun tries to act nonchalant but his lips betray him as they curl upwards into a grin, his eyes crinkling as his cheeks burn even more, "I like you too. For a really long time, in fact."
What? Did Jeno heard him right?
Renjun likes him back?
"What?" Jeno says out loud and Renjun doesn't even try to hide the way the corners of his lips turn up into a sweet smile as he reaches out shyly, fingers wrapping themselves around Jeno's collar to pull him close subtly. Jeno willingly leans in close, his own cheeks turning red as the embarrassment settles in.
"Were you jealous of me kissing other people a while ago?" Renjun questions him instead, the mischief twinkling in his eyes as he elicits a soft chuckle. Jeno huffs softly, gaze flickering somewhere else for a moment before his eyes meet the other boy's once again.
"Maybe," He breathes out, not even realizing that he's inching closer until he finally feels Renjun's hot breath against his own lips. He doesn't bother to move away though, keeping their bodies as close as possible like this.
"I really," Jeno pauses, a hand cupping Renjun's cheek before the pad of his thumb brushes against his bottom lip, "wanted to kiss you, you know?"
"What's stopping you then?" Renjun emits a lighthearted laugh, pulling him close until their lips are almost brushing. Jeno holds himself back in time, trying to savor the feeling of this kind of closeness he has with Renjun.
"I thought you didn't like me back."
"You thought wrong then." Renjun mumbles against his lips and before Jeno can realize it, their lips crash against each other in a swirling kind of sweetness and gentleness. Renjun tastes like all the sweetest candies in the world and it doesn't take long before Jeno gets intoxicated over it.
He's drunk at the feeling of Renjun's body against his and their lips slowly becoming familiar to each other. He pushes the smaller boy down on the couch, their bodies curling around each other's in a comfortable manner, legs tangled. Jeno's fingers trail along the back of Renjun's ear, the curve of his cheek before they drop down to caress his jaw. Renjun is tugging him closer, closer, as if he can't get enough of the feeling running through their veins. Jeno isn't afraid to indulge him in this kind of wondrous moment.
Jeno meant to be gentle, soft but when he presses himself even more against him, a muffled moan leaves Renjun's lips. That seems to fire him up, urging himself to ruin the other boy — teeth clashing against each other before they sink down on Renjun's bottom lip. He nips softly on it before his tongue briefly swipes along it, as if trying to soothe the pain before he breaks away. He doesn't stop to press kisses along Renjun's cheeks, his jaw, and the crook of his neck with his hands roaming along his sides.
"Stop, that tickles." Renjun laughs softly and Jeno can feel his heart bursting in his chest at the sweet sound of it. He's so in love with that kind of melody — he's sure he can listen to it for an eternity.
"Sorry, I just can't stop," Jeno leans in to steal a kiss from his lips, earning a soft whimper from the other boy as he grins, "kissing you. You're so cute."
"I'm not." Renjun mutters, cheeks painted in a red tint before he loops his arms around Jeno's neck. Jeno wraps his arms around his waist to keep him close and they smile softly at each other, letting our a chuckle. Renjun leans in to press a gentle, slow kiss on his lips before he pulls away with flushed cheeks, staring at Jeno expectantly.
"Again?" Jeno only grins at him before capturing his lips in a dizzyingly wonderful kind of kiss.
"I'd love that."